OK, so Sunday night at 10pm the wife and I are flipping channels to see what kind of shows are on. So we finally settle on some sort of procedural show that’s showing on A Channel (The former “New VR” here in the GTA) called ‘Missing’, and after about 5 minutes, I tell her “this has got to be the shittest procedural show I’ve ever seen.”
Some quick research on imdb.com and tv.com shows that the show is aired on Lifetime in the US and is produced by the same guys who created ‘John Woo’s Once A Thief’, immediately pinholing this as a syndicated Canadian production – never a good thing.
Anyways, the principals are part of the Missing Persons unit for the FBI (how do you know it’s the FBI? Because EVERYTHING has “FBI” plastered all over it.) and one of the agents has the ability to see visions of the missing people, although the visions are cryptic. Another is played by Vivica A. Fox and is a bitchy agent who can kung fu her way out of trouble.
At it’s core, the show is going for a CSI-meets-Medium feel, and, well, it fails spectacularly. The acting, at best, is mediocre, and Fox in particular stands out as being incredibly stiff in her role – almost as if she wants to get the hell out of Toronto and back to L.A. And aside from Caterina Sarscone as psychic girl, everyone else is very one dimensional. We have the computer geek girl, the gadget guy, and the tough-as-nails director who is willing to bend the rules to get the bad guys. Not a condemation in itself. But the thing with procedurals (at least how I see it) is that you have to be able to think that the agents have the ability to come through in the end – even if they end up failing. This group seems to haphazardly snoop around until the girl gets a vision and saves the day. It’s kind of like how on ‘Hercules’ he gets his ass whupped until he figures out that maybe, just maybe, he should put on his magic ring.
Well, I just dated myself there. Anyways, ‘Missing’ is a definite show to avoid, unless you’d like to see an example of how a procedural goes bad.
Bits and Pieces
– Canaidan music fans rejoice!! The Tea Party has finally broken up. Nice to see that it only took them 15 years to realize that they suck when they’re not ripping off The Doors…
– So I’m sure you all noticed DJ “The New Guy” Qualls as Hurley’s buddy on ‘Lost’ last week, right?
– Also, it’s nice to see that Michelle Rodriguez isn’t playing a tough, bitchy chick. Oh wait…
– In case you’re wondering, I’m usually a week behind in commenting on the show because the column gets filed around mid-Wednesday…
– Hey, did anyone notice how old Linden Ashby looked on ‘CSI: Miami’? You might’ve recognized him from ‘Melrose Place’ but he’ll always be Johnny Cage (from the Mortal Kombat movie) to me…
– Continuity thing for Matt Basilo to think about. There’s rumours of a ‘Las Vegas’/’Law & Order’ crossover, and Richard Belzer’s “John Munch” character is to be a part of it. Why? Because Munch has appeared in 6 different shows, which is a record. Now, we know about the ‘Law & Order’/’Homicide’ connection, but because of his appearances, how do ‘X-Files’ and ‘The Beat’ fit into L&O continuity?
And we’re supposed to watch the heavyweights fight because…?
Well, the heavyweight fight on ‘The Ultimate Fighter’ was pretty decent… for about one round. Then Mike Whitehead either gave up, gassed out or both, as Rashad Evans dominated the rest of the fight. So we’re left with an interesting situation as all remaining Welterweights were originally on Team Hughes and all remaining Heavyweights were originally on Team Franklin. Although that could change as a Heavyweight fighter gets to come back. Basically I’m guessing that Brad Imes is forced out due to his cut and Mike finds himself a lucky loser.
Meanwhile, ‘UFC Unleashed’ showcased fighters who will be appearing on the next PPV in November. Nate “Rock” Quarry is set to take on TUF2 coach Rich “Ace” Franklin, Karo “The Heat” Parisyan tries to defeat the other TUF2 coach, Matt Hughes, and Nick Diaz takes on TUF1 winner Diego “Nightmare” Sanchez. Once again, the UFC is doing a good job in building these guys up and making sure that you know what they can do in order to build excitement for the PPV.
‘The Amazing Race’ – Eastern U.S. Edition
Detour – This was probably the first Detour where the faster task was obvious – the log cutting. Gambling is a definite lure, but the need to take a boat across to the Riverboat meant that you could lose a lot of time. Plus, you needed a lot of luck to finish this task, as I’d assume that not everyone knew basic strategy.
Roadblock – None, unless you count the climbing of the Office Chair as one. I don’t.
10. Black
9. Rogers
8. Aiello
7. Schroeder – I heard that your house was wiped out during Hurricane Katrina, and that the other teams all pitched in to help you out. So I hope that things are good for you now.
As for the Race, Stassi was right – minutes can mean the Race, but in this case the minutes are those that you didn’t take to look through the cabins cost you. If you take the 7:40am cabin, getting lost is less of a detriment to you, and maybe the Gaghans go home. Still, you caught up to them, and you then made a mistake of going out to the riverboat to play cards, and that’s the point where I basically said “Game Over – Schroeder”.
Sequesterville:
Bransen – Another good run from this team. Smart move to work with the Linz team to secure the early departure cabins, and while some luck was involved with the gambling, you had enough of a lead that it didn’t hurt you.
Paolo – Once again, the team grouping helped you out big time, as you were way behind after Talladega. And as an added bonus, teams didn’t bother checking all the tickets so you ended up with an earlier time than you really deserved to get. To your credit, you took full advantage of this to propel your way to second. Rarified air for this team, to be sure.
Weaver – Luck helped to keep you ahead of two other teams, but I have a feeling that your luck will run out soon.
Reaching the Finish Line:
Gaghan – What are you thinking, letting kids play cards? You keep staying out of last, and that’s obviously good, but you dodged a bullet when the Schroeders lost their way to the Park, and then decided to play 21.
Godlewski – Nothing to say, really. Clean leg.
Linz – The only blip you had was not doing the log cutting. I realize that a bunch of 20-somethings are going to be more attracted to Play over Work, but there’s no doubt in my mind that you could’ve blitzed the field had you decided to cut logs initially. But with the lead you had built up, switching tasks didn’t hurt you too much.
Winners of The Amazing Race:
Linz
Survivor
Reward Challenge – Man, did Jamie get smoked in this or what? I agree with Yuxha in noting that noone told him to chop instead of saw, so the blame can’t entirely be his. Still… damn, he got smoked.
Immunity Challenge – When I was a kid, we used to play “500” at recess, which basically consisted of shagging flies for a random number of points. First to 500 won. Anyways, this was basically the same thing, and like the schoolyard game, it really came down to luck.
Strategy-wise, Danni flipped over to the Amy-Gary-Brian alliance, and I’m not entirely sure how that will play out. I really don’t think that Brian is loyal to either Gary or Amy, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he and Danni make a Final 2 pact. Of course, that would dovetail nicely with my predictions, but that’s neither here nor there.
OK, to the rankings!!
18. Jim Lynch
17. Morgan McDevitt
16. Brianna Varela
15. Brooke Struck
14. Blake Towsley. Well, I guess you’re going home because of your Fratboy personality, and not having a clue that it was annoying everyone. To this end, Brian played you perfectly, and it’s probably only upon watching this episode that you realized how well he did it. But don’t worry, he’ll tell us all about it next week.
Out Before Merge:
Amy O’Hara
Cindy Hall
Margaret Bobnich
Merge Boot:
Bobby Jon Drinkard (j) – With Blake out, you’re now the most dangerous person left for individual challenges. At least this time you won’t leave because someone made fire faster than you.
Jury:
Brandon Bellinger
Gary ‘Hawkins’ Hogeboom
Jamie Newton
Judd Sergeant
Lydia Morales (o) – Yep, flip-flopping again on her. She held her own in the Immunity Challenge, and her irrepressible spirit is going to carry her to the merge. And if I change this again, you’ll do nothing and like it. Hah!!
Rafe Judkins
Stephanie La Grossa
Final Two
Brian Corridan
Danni Boatwright
Sole Survivor
Brian Corridan – Yeah, I’m a stubborn bastard.
And that’s it for this week.
