Your hosts are Tazz and Cole
They start out with a video hyping Booker/Benoit later tonight. It clearly villainies Sharmell which leads me to believe that something’s going to happen tonight involving her and Benoit
Lot’s of additions to the opening video including LOZ w/ Christy, Lashley and Kennedy
WWE US Championship
(C) Chris Fucking Benoit Vs Booker T w/ The Annoying Frog Woman
Very decent pop for Benoit. Handshake before the bell as Cole recaps the whole history between them. Lock up leads to the corner and a clean break from Benoit. Booker gets a take down and tries to ride Benoit to the mat but Benoit counters to a hammer lock. Booker turns hat into the headlock and they go to the leapfrog sequence which ends with a Benoit hip toss and a stand off. Lock up again leads to a Benoit hammer lock but Booker elbows out and gets some chops. Of course Benoit chops back as he majored in chopping at “Tough Bastard University” Benoit gets some stingers in too that causes Booker to crumple to the mat. Booker attempts to fire back but that goes no where and Benoit stomps away. Booker misses the Axe Kick and gets crotched on the top rope. Benoit gets a suicide dive and it literally looks like one as he misses and torpedoes the ringside table. Fucking hell Booker where were you there?
We’re back with Booker having Benoit in a chin lock. They show the table bump in slow mow just to rub in how f*cking terrifyingly cool it looked. Benoit sells the chin lock like it’s a garrotte wire around the throat which just makes me have hope for wrestling. Booker gets a suplex for two as Benoit continues the awesome selling. Booker chops away and sends Benoit into the corner hard style and gets two from it. Rude Awakening gets two for Booker but it was a close one. Back to the chin lock and Benoit gets a flurry going. Snap Suplex gets two and it’s Germans Time! After three of them Benoit calls for the head butt (getting a good reaction) He gets it but is too hurt to cover right away and only gets two from it. High kick by Booker as he heads up but Benoit stops him and they fight on the top. Benoit gets an ugly looking superplex as Sharmell predictably grabs a chair, but Benoit sees her getting it. The distraction is enough for Booker, oblivious to the Sharmell stuff, to unload with a flurry. Sharmell gets a low blow, again unseen by Booker, and Booker follows that with the Scissors Kick for the win
WINNER – AND NEW CHAMPION BOOKER T
**1/2 – Oh for FUCKS SAKE! FUCK THE FROG WOMAN! That seems so counterproductive to me unless it’s leading to Sharmell feeling the cross face and Benoit regaining at some point. Anyway I think that’s my first title change since I started recapping this
Booker and Sharmell are celebrating and Benoit rightfully comes up and complains about Sharmell, but Booker isn’t buying it and calls him a sore loser.
Meanwhile, Teddy comes up to The Ortons and Bob apparently has a “bad back”. Teddy gives him two choices
1. Find a replacement
2. 2. Handicap match
Josh Matthews is with JBL and asks him why his music was on Raw. JBL says he had nothing to do with it and he doesn’t do charity. He says he will destroy Rey Mysterio and challenges Edge to show up.
Simon Dean Vs Making his Smackdown Return! Matt Hardy
Great I now have a weekly dose of Mattitude to look forward to! Dean gets some cheap shots in on the mic so Matt wastes no time and hammers away on Dean. Simon is kicked outside and Matt gets a vaulting body press. Simon goes to this bag but Matt gets a back suplex. Dean gets a cast shot in to gain control. Dean goes to a surfboard like move and ends up sending Matt face first into the canvas. Dean goes to some form of abdominal lock but Matt fights up and gets some strikes in. Matt gets the slam and the AHHHHHHHHHHHHH Leg Drop. Dean goes up to the second rope but Matt catches him with The Side Effect and Twist of Fate ends it
WINNER – MATT HARDY
*1/4 – Good enough mini squash for Matt to debut on.
Steve Romero is outside waiting to see if any Raw guys show up. So long as they don’t bring the McMahon’s with them I’ll be happy.
JBL w/ Jillian Hall Vs Rey Mysterio
JBL dodges a springboard to start but misses an elbow and Rey gets a throwback. Arm drag by Rey but that leads to JBL pounding away in the corner. Rey goes for the DDT out of the corner but gets put on the apron. Jillian causes a distraction and JBL gets a cheap shot in and it’s time for the heel heat segment. Last Call by JBL sends Ret across the ring. JBL gets a Torture Rack which hasn’t been a legitimate finisher since the mid 90’s. Rey fights out and gets a springboard bulldog as both men go down. Rey gets some kicks to the leg and a tilt a whirl head scissors. JBL gets a thumb to the eye but Rey gets a drop toe hold into the turnbuckle and gets the split legged moonsault for two. JBL goes for a Power Bomb but Rey rana’s him into a 619 but Edge runs in with a spear on Rey for the DQ
WINNER – REY MYSTERIO
*1/2 – Good match but the No Mercy one was better. JBL chases Edge into the crowd while Masters attacks Rey and kills the cruiserweights but Hardcore Holly chases him off. Sure have Masters annihilate a whole division that will draw money. And as it’s wrestling they cut to a commercial as it gets good so you’re forced to wait to see what happened
Backstage all the Smackdown guys are pissed off. Rey says he wants Edge in a match
Bobby Lashley Vs Big Vito w/ Nunzio
Lashley dominates to start with so knees to the gut and a power slam. Lashley carries Nunzio inside and gets a cool looking throw thing inside but Vito cheap shots and gets some token Italian Offence in. T-Bone Suplex and a belly to belly with an arm trap. Big Black Dominator gets the win for Lashley
WINNER – BOBBY LASHLEY
Just a squash.
Teddy and Recyclus are backstage and Recyclus introduces the “Juniors” and Max Mini is there! Wow these are top of the market midgets they have here. Teddy isn’t too happy about this but as he tries to leave Zeus dressed as Great Muta stops him. Oh sorry that’s The Bogeyman. He sings some weird stupid song and scares Max Mini. Ha Ha that was pretty f*cking funny. That fat midget El porky is MONEY!
Romero is backstage with Sylvain. He asks Sylvain about the Raw thing and he says he doesn’t care. Hardcore Holly says he wants a hardcore match RIGHT NOW!
Sylvain Vs Hardcore Holly
Holly annihilates Sylvain as there is some seriously shoddy camera work here. They brawl into the divas locker room and brawl into a lift as we go to a commercial
We’re back with Holly covering Sylvain in ketchup at the food stand. Before you ask Pat Patterson does NOT lick it off. They keep fighting till they show up back in the arena and up in the stands. Sylvain runs to the ring but takes a bump off the stairs onto some briefcase thing. Holly hammers him to ringside and Sylvain gets some shots in and a two count on the floor. Sylvain gets a suplex on the floor for two. Holly gets some sort if stick and wears Sylvain out with it. Holly grabs a trash can and gets some shots in on Sylvain for two. Sylvain gets a kick to the mid section and a spine buster on the trash can. That gets two for Sylvain who’s holding his own quite well here. Sylvain gets a table and puts it inside. Sylvain sets the table up but tajes to long taunting and it’s Alabama Slamma through the table for the three.
WINNER – HARDCORE HOLLY
** – Call me crazy but I really enjoyed this and I think these two work well together. It’s been so long since a crazy attitude era style hardcore match. In moderation the gimmick can provide some good entertainment
Eddie and Batista are backstage. Eddie says he’s upset about all the things he’s done since Wrestlemania XX and Batista says he has a second chance. Eddie thanks Batista for being his friend and not judging him. Awwwwwwwwww. He’s so turning at some point. They have a manly handshake ahead of their match with Randy and ???
Next week LOZ, MNM, Mexicools and The British Gents for the tag titles. Come on lads make us proud and restore some prestige to those titles.
Eddie Guerrero and Batista Vs Randy Orton
Tazz suspects this is an Eddie and Randy set up to beat on Batista. Well that would make sense and would be somewhat satisfying payback to this whole thing. However, due to the announcers saying stupidly suggesting the idea it has lost all shock value. I have come to the conclusion that Tazz and Cole are the two smartest announcers in wrestling. Randy reveals his tag team partner to be MMMMMMRRRRRR KENNEDY………………KENNEDY. Aw no he has a new less cool remix of his music. Nick Patrick stops the ring announcing. Fucking soulless bastard. Eddie hammers away on Kennedy to start but gets caught up top but manages to fight off the Slam Pact. Kennedy bails to avoid an Eddie top rope move as we go to a commercial
We’re back with Batista over powering Orton. Orton fights back and pounds away in the corner but takes a shoulder block and a big vertical suplex. Eddie comes in and he and Batista get a double elbow for two. Kennedy comes in and Eddie goes for the Three Amigos but Kennedy counters amigo dos and Randy cheap shots Eddie. Kennedy gets two from the Randy cheap shot and Eddie gets double teamed in the heel corner. Kennedy goes to the chin lock as Batista cheers Eddie on. Eddie gets a back suplex but can’t tag. Randy goes to the sleeper hold bang in the middle and uses his knee to arch Eddie over. That’s pretty cool actually. Randy and Eddie bang heads and it’s the race on for the tag. Hot tag for Batista as he hammers everyone. Lariat for Orton and a spear for Kennedy. Batista gets a Running Power Slam on Randy as Kennedy saves at two. Kennedy sends Eddie into the post outside and grabs a chair. Bob Orton causes a distraction as Kennedy comes in with the chair but Eddie jumps over Batista to save him and Kennedy is all like “Sure OK” and chairs Eddie for the DQ. The heels beat Batista three on one and Randy finishes it with an RKO.
WINNERS – EDDIE AND BATISTA
**1/4 – Good TV match. Teddy comes out and makes a 6 man tag match for next week pitting the heels against Eddie, Batista and……Roddy Piper! Oh dear
Well it was a mixed bag of good stuff and stuff that didn’t really matter. The hardcore match was fun and the Raw “Invasion” was pretty good but I hate Raw so seeing anyone from that show is kind of a turn off for me. So long as no McMahon’s show their faces on Smackdown I’ll tolerate this angle but is I’m guaranteed 2 hours of McMahon every Friday sorry folks I don’t think I’ll be sticking around. I’m quite optimistic about the juniors division as it actually looks like they’ll shell out the money to bring in quality midgets who can work and so long as the matches are fun I’ll more than live with the whole thing. In fact I reckon I might enjoy it! It seems like they’re sticking with Eddie as face till at least Survivor Series. It makes sense to turn him now that Undertaker has left and there’s a distinct lack of main event faces. The Lashley push keeps going but I just wonder what will happen when they run out of fresh meat to give him? The whole Benoit/Booker thing pissed me off but that’s only because I’m really annoyed by Sharmell and I feel Benoit deserved better than to be screwed by her which is EXACTLY how WWE want me to feel so I’ll want to see the payoff and I for one would love it if or when Sharmell gets hers
Overall I reckon it was a good show this week although maybe not as good as last weeks show.