Things are going pretty good, huh? Well I certainly hope so; it makes it for an easy read free of bad vibes. If today just isn’t your day, then I hope to cheer ya up, you bastard. And if you’re just plain okay today, then don’t complain; at least you’re not too bad off like some people (Dora stops and stares blankly. It’s clear she’s thinking about something. This is what she always does whenever she remembers “Stephen”).
Anyways, not all of us are fortunate to survive a freak scrapbooking accident (poor Stephen). So let’s keep on truckin’ and I promise you you’ll like what I have to say. Unless you disagree with it, in which case keep the emails flowing.
We’ve got a lot to talk about today, class. Today we’re going to discuss last week’s episode of Survivor. I’ll talk about the twist, the challenge/reward, and what went wrong for the bootees. If time permits, I’ll hypothesize what’s up Judd’s ass.
I just want to say first and foremost that I absolutely love every double elimination week. They’re always so… classic. I remember way back when, on Pearl Islands, when Burnett gave us our first taste of double the elimination. Just like ‘where were you when JFK was shot?’ every diehard fan can tell exactly where they were and what they were doing when they first heard of the Outcasts. The whole game of Survivor was suddenly turned upside-down, and everyone was in complete danger. No matter how good your tribe was, your tribe was definitely going to tribal council to vote someone out. Gets the old blood pumping.
And we’ve experienced double eliminations since in Vanuatu and Palau. And last week was the fourth time. And while some double tribal council (ie, 2xTC) episodes may be bland, it still is great for you and me Joe Schmo in TV land. And I just want to say that last week was awesome. To see everyone scrambling for position and votes, and acting like it doesn’t bother them – who can’t love it? I know I do.
So, we’ve got the challenge. A few important things happened (er, worth writing about). I was so excited to see my man Bobby Jon go head to head with the other young buck Jamie. Wait, it was a minor scuffle that lasted about four seconds.
“AARHWAHIBCX!”
“AADISAFIAHHH!”
Fight over; done.
It’s so sick too. Yaxha must hate Jamie, because they didn’t even need to bash him back at camp. Ah, but Nakum, felt it entirely necessary to talk about what someone on the other tribe is doing. Jamie, the douchebag he is, was doing what most people do when they are threatened by someone else – pretend it didn’t bother him and make fun of Bobby Jon. And Steph, she gets the Public Offender #1 Award this week. She goes on and on about Bobby Jon (“He always does that!”). If she were a guy, I would do accuse her of having a total hard-on for him. If a merge does happened next week, I wan’t Bobby Jon to go up to her and say “Admit it, you like me. Let’s screw then align with each other.” Of course Bobby Jon wouldn’t even need to finish that sentence before Stephenie was totally naked, her heart racing 1000 beats per minute. She’s sooooooo not over him.
And the most memorable thing about the challenge is the bounceback of Amy. Amy injured her ankle for the second time in 10 days real time. I’ve sprained my ankle before, and know that it’s very easy to sprain again shortly after the injury. So what did she do about it? She went right back out and kicked ass. Not just any ass, either. It was that of Stephenie “one of the best women to ever play the game” LaGrossa. Danni is becoming a real champ, too. Danni doesn’t even appear to be trying too hard, and she’s still overpowering Steph. But Amy, the real champ, went out there, and kicked more ass. I’m telling ya, to hell with Steph; I’m taking the side of these broads.
Of course, in the end, it wasn’t enough. But the damage was done (Steph put in her place yet again, and Amy and Danni proving they are the real deal). And both tribes go to Tribal tonight. Nakum gets a barbecue, and Rafe, who doesn’t need immunity, got it thanks to Judd.
Judd. Now there’s a word that you can say right before you box to get your blood boiling. The way he is just makes me hate hotels even more than I already do. What the hell was he trying to prove in Tribal Council? That he was in a better position than Margaret? I think he got that message across pretty clearly. I have NEVER seen a Tribal Council performance so childish, so douchebaggy ever. Yes, Jonny Fairplay did have some pretty funny words for Shawn Cohen when Shawn got the axe (which reminds me, another great 2xTC moment), but it was nothing to this level. Grow the F up, Judd.
Judd’s behavior just shows so much about what’s really going on in the game. The fact that Nakum kept him, a loud, mouthy jackoff, over Margaret, is beyond me. That tribe really needs to get its priorities in check. So you had a deal with him- get rid of him anyway! Having any livewire around camp like Judd is just plain dangerous. If he’s picking fights with moms half his size, what’s going to happen when it’s someone that can actually put him in his place? This man is all talk, and he’s done.
So, like I was saying about Nakum. I really think this entire tribe is bad off. You’ve got Judd who’s all over the place. Jamie and Steph have a nice three-way alliance with this maniac. Rafe and Lydia are becoming great players simply because of attrition (everyone else is sucking on my tribe, so I shine by default). And then Cindy, who really has yet to contribute anything important. But alas, her time shall come. And I think it may be soon.
So what happens next week? It would APPEAR as if it’s an early merge. I hope so really. Nothing would get me going quite like a good old fashioned knock-down drag-out fight for individual immunity.
So if a merge does happen, I don’t think it will be too surprising. I truly think by the Brian vote that New Yaxha is its own tribe now. These five seem to be all on the same page. And with the potential powder keg at Nakum, why wouldn’t anyone want to jump ship? Rafe and/or Lydia should be fantasizing about a reunion with Gary (and thus, his tribe). And why the hell would Cindy stick around? She “bleeds Nakum yellow,” but that statement was made while Nakum was Nakum. Let’s see, crazy Judd, or sane old teammates Bobby Jon, Brandon, and Danni? Hmm… That leaves Steph, Jamie, and Judd out of the loop.
I see something similar to Amazon. The new Yaxha will stick together and attract a few on Nakum to get rid of the unwanted ones (just how new Jaburu pulled in Heidi and Christy to oust Roger and Dave). At least, just for a little while, since an alliance of eight is hardly workable. That’s my guess, and I’m sticking by it (at least until the twist next week has nothing to do with merge).
So time for the rundown. This week is the most biased I’ve ever been. It totally favors one tribe, putting the other tribe at the bottom. Sorry if it pisses you off (chuckles)
In memoriam:
18- Jim Lynch
17- Morgan McDevitt
16- Brianna Varela
15- Brooke Struck
14- Blake Towsley. *Breaking Loser’s Lounge report!* After trying to get with Morgan, Brianna, and Brooke AT THE SAME TIME, in a drunken stupor the night he got booted, Blake got rejected by all three AT THE SAME TIME. Now That Guy is sitting on a lounge chair by the pool sulking to himself, crying alone. Jim tried to console Blake, but Jim re-injured his arm while rubbing Blake on the shoulder.
13- Margaret Bobonich (13). Margaret played like a true champ. Yes, most champs don’t lose, but at least she went down in style. Remember when Nakum won the tarp, and she got pissed with how it was put up? Well, during the course of that, I said that Judd was not someone to piss off. How right I was. I admire Marg for making herself look totally awesome in comparison to Judd’s buffoonery. Judd was all over the place, and Mom kept her cool. But while I do appreciate her composure, I do say that she did totally deserve to go this week. Looking good by comparison is not enough; you have to go out and tell the others “look at me, I’m not as bad as him.” Marg simply didn’t do that, and is now nursing Blake’s broken heart at Loser’s Lounge.
12- Brian Corridan (10). Yes, I was a little happy to see Brian go. And it was in the way I imagined- he scrambled to get rid of the wrong person such that people wanted to boot him. But, what a great guy. I can’t harbor anymore bad feelings for him. Brian had a great little run, and didn’t stop trying to play the game. Even when Jeff told Rafe about his secret immunity vote, Brian immediately attempted to make eye contact with Rafe. In the end, I think it was the fact that Brian was just on a tribe of better players than him. I mean, how could Amy keep Brian to vote out an all star like Brandon, Bobby Jon, Danni, or Gary? She couldn’t. And the original Nakum weren’t going against each other for a second time. So by process of elimination, it’s Brian. But good game Brian. I always love a good loser, and you’ll shine with the ladies at Loser’s Lounge.
—————————————
11 – Judd Sergeant (12). Just grow up, and don’t piss people off, and learn that the people on your tribe can easily turn against you, and that an alliance of three is nothing with eleven people left, and quit being a douchebag. Follow these easy steps, and you’ll be fine! ps- in case you can’t tell I’m being sarcastic, you loser.
10- Jamie Newton (3).
9- Stephenie LaGrossa (2).
I think I’m going to offend some people here. By keeping Judd, they kept a livewire at their tribe. They also said to others “I don’t care what you think, I’m sticking with what works for me.” If Lydia or Rafe or Cindy gets out and tells the other tribe, you better believe that Jamie and Steph will be held accountable for this moronic move. And on a much more personal note, I’m losing faith in my girl Steph. I’m not dreading her exit from this game nearly as much as I was at this point in Palau. If she goes, the so be it. Sorry Steph. Prove me wrong before people have a sour taste about you (and if you don’t believe me, people LOVED Boston Rob in Marquesas, and after his second attempt, he’s now regarded as one of the most hated Survivors). So don’t make people hate you Steph, because we all really love Palau Steph, but not, you’re almost a bitch.
8- Cindy Hall (8). Cindy’s a total wild card this week. And considering we know nothing about her, I’d say she’s pretty safe. I’ll put her in the maybe pile for now, and hope that it turns out for something good.
7- Lydia Morales (9).
6- Rafe Judkins (7).
These two get lumped together this week, for what I said earlier. By virtue of the fact that everyone else is self-destructing on Nakum, these guys are very well off. Lydia was totally missing this whole episode, which is a huge indicator that she’s in good. And Rafe was only in the spotlight because of his immunity. He’s slowly creeping up, and maybe we can see him shine. On a different note, I totally respect his Gary vote. By giving immunity to Gary, he was either saving his hero, or giving it to the person in no trouble, so as not to stir things up (a la John Kenney giving it to Ami during Vanuatu’s 2xTC because he didn’t want to interfere).
5- Gary Hogeboom (6). The top five is all Yaxha. I think they can get past old tribal lines to form a cohesive unitl As for Gary, he’s in great. I may even go as far to say he’s getting short-changed with this ranking. He’s here because the original Nakum seem more bound, and Amy impressed me more. But he’s in a wonderful position of leadership and in gameplay. It appears Amy might figure out his secret this week, but because of the way he’s been playing, it might not affect it all that much. Amy’s not gonna argue with her only original teammate, so it will be passed off as “I knew it!”
4- Bobby Jon Drinkard (4). Why would Gary get rid of an old tribemate? Because Bobby Jon has more to offer, and it shows. Bobby Jon is a total asset, and as long as he keeps kicking ass, he’ll be up here for awhile. So what if Jamie and Steph are pissed at him; Bobby Jon shines more than both of them, so who’s the loser here? Not Bobby Jon. I truly think that he will do very well in this game, and when the reunion show comes up, he’ll tell people that he had been on Palau, because it is totally a nonissue this go-round. He’s playing well enough to make it a nonissue, which is why he’s so high up here.
3- Brandon Bellinger (5). I was too harsh on Brandon last week. This week, he’s back, and in the same boat as Bobby Jon. This top three ranking is more like it for this power player.
2- Amy O’Hara (11). This week’s biggest mover by far. And for great reason. For her to go from injured to challenge dominatrix, and not even a potential vote in a tribe of strong people all adds up to success. This cat means business, and don’t mess with her.
1- Danni Boatwright (1). Kicked ass in the challenge, and did nothing wrong for her to lose her top spot. Jenna Morasca proved beauty queens can win, and so far, Danni has given no evidence for the contrary.
And this concludes yet another edition of Brain Spill. I must say after a few weeks of doing this, that writing a column makes me look forward to Thursdays even more. I have been receiving more emails, and it makes me smile. Keep it up, e-world!
Until next week, when we discuss periodic trends of the elements, stay cool.
~Dora
