By the time that you read this I should be firmly settled in my new residence, located across town from my present residence. Unfortunately, since I’m such a procrastinator, I’m guessing that I’ll still be packing when I’d usually be writing Remote Destination (which is the gray area between late Thursday night and early Friday morning). Thus I figured I’d that rather than miss a week I’d run a previous “TV themed” column. This one happens to from a couple of years ago. Enjoy!
Additional note; I’m actually typing this 24 hours later. Long story short, we’ve moved in, but the cable didn’t get hooked up until Friday after I actually cut a hole in the drywall in the garage with what looked to be an extreme box cutter. Plus I was 15 minutes late to work.
My arms ache, my legs are sore and my head is throbbing. Still, here’s something for you to read.
Peter Gunn
For people of a certain age this theme is synonymous with “cool.” Peter Gunn was very smooth, and so is the song. But the theme found a rebirth in the 80’s as the music for the classic video game “Spyhunter.” So for me this music is synonymous with high-speed cars, oil slick, smoke cloud, and frustration (I was nowhere near as good at Spyhunter as my cousins.) Regardless of what you associate it with this Mancini penned theme is very memorable.
TV Mathan Sez: Sadly I’ve never seen this show. I’m sure that it’s remarkably dated and darn near quaint. Still I’ve got aunts and uncles who rave about this show.
Dragnet
Everybody remembers this theme. It’s one of television’s classic themes. It’s so simple and straightforward. No frills. Like Joe Friday says “just the facts.” Since there is a new Dragnet on the airwaves a new generation is becoming acquainted with Joe Friday. But this theme is still one of the purest pieces of music to reach a pair of rabbit ears.
TV Mathan Sez: I have seen this one, and it’s dope for a few reasons; it’s cool to see the dude from M.A.S.H. younger, and with color in his hair. Joe Friday’s rapid fire monotone soliloquies are a kick to watch. Sure some of the crimes pale in comparison to C.S.I., but Dragnet has it’s merits.
Alfred Hitchcock Presents
This theme is unique in the way that it is simultaneously sinister and lighthearted. The mood and tone are certainly dark, but the melody almost sounds as though it could be attached to a Saturday morning program. This theme is forever etched in my mind with portly silhouettes.
TV Mathan Sez: My mom is a huge Hitchcock fan. I’m pretty sure that I’ve seen a couple episodes, but I couldn’t tell you which ones. It would be nice if this could get some play on Nick @ Night.
Miami Vice
When I hear this theme images of bikini clad women, flamingoes, pastel colors and Jai Alai flood my mind. This theme is irrevocably linked with a specific era: the 1980’s. Its synthetic instruments, and fast beat scream “80’s.” It does exemplify the best elements of the era, however that might not be saying much.
TV Mathan Sez: Ok this show is difficult. It’s tough to watch a show that has amazing nostalgic qualities but doesn’t really stand up to my more experienced world view. I actually caught part of the marathon when it was picked up by some cable channel. It was cool to see episodes I remember from my childhood, but the overacting was terrible. I mean close to Star Trek bad. What sucks is that I’m betting that the movie won’t be tongue in cheek like it should be.
The Twilight Zone
Talk about your eerie theme songs, this one takes a hunk of cake. This theme will make the hair on the back of your neck stand on end. The way the instruments come in and go out, and how the pace changes is downright creepy. It’s a classic, but it’s still unnervingly creepy.
TV Mathan Sez: Now I love this show. I caught the tail end of the marathon a few months back and was amazed at how powerful those decades old episodes were. It was clearly a different world (a pinch of Cold War fear seems ever present) but those tales are still pretty shocking to this day.
Branded
This theme gives you the shows premise right off the bat. A guy is branded as a coward and has to prove he’s a man, wherever he goes, for the rest of his life. This is why it sucks that lyrics have been relegated to sitcom and kid shows. I really wish the theme to “Law and Order” had lyrics. Ooh, or better yet “Oz.” I bet that theme would have some sweet lyrics.
TV Mathan Sez: I so, which I’d seen this show. It sounds like The Fugitive and The Incredible Hulk. Seriously, the premise set forth by the theme seems amazing. I’d like to see a modern version of the show, considering how what defines a “man” has changed so much.
Twin Peaks
The word that best describes this theme is “haunting.” It perfectly compliments the mood of the show (and was also used throughout the show.) It is so beautiful and melodic. I may not remember who killed Laura Palmer, but I remember loving this theme.
TV Mathan Sez: I’ve got to pick this show up on DVD. I was way too young to understand this show, but I still had tender grip on it (though it’s grip on me was much tighter.) This was a show that I watched with my Mom, so it’s got a bit of sentimental quality as well. Plus we get to see Lara Flynn Boyle before she gained all that weight.
The Incredible Hulk
This show’s themes (both opening and closing) are fantastic. The opening theme captures the metamorphosis between David Banner and the Hulk, musically. It sounds great. The closing theme pulls at the heartstrings in a somber reinterpretation of the opening theme that reflects David’s lonely never-ending journey to tame the beast within.
TV Mathan Sez: Ouch, this is another tough one to watch. It’s also pretty frustrating. I find myself yelling at the TV’ “leave him alone! Don’t you understand what’s going to happen?” And those special effects aren’t that great. Why does the Hulk always move in slow motion?
Quincy, M.E.
I love Jack Klugman. There I said it! Now that that’s out of the way, this is a solid theme. It’s kind of jazzy, but very cool. For some reason near the end of the song it breaks into a full on jam, but reigns it back in before the theme is over. Although I wish the theme would go on just a tad longer, because you can never have too much Jack Klugman.
TV Mathan Sez: I’m so pissed this show is rerun anymore. I loved this show. I dug the righteously indignant Quincy. I dig Quincy the ladies man. I dig Quincy the tireless slave driver (poor Sam). This show needs to be in reruns on some network. I’d even watch ABC Family!
SWAT
This is a thrilling theme. It sounds like it belongs on a show with pulse pounding action. Those strong horns, that shrieking siren sound are two touches of genius. This is the song you should hear in your head when you’re late to work and weaving through traffic. It’s the perfect soundtrack for that scene in your life.
TV Mathan Sez: Never seen the show, but the movie wasn’t that bad. Ok, it wasn’t great, but it had my man Jeremy from The It Factor, the greatest “reality” show ever. (Y’see how I got back to TV in the end?)
Knight Rider
Dig that synthetic bass line. This song is kind of sinister, but it perfectly sets the tone for the show. Again, it’s got that whole 80’s synthesizer thing going on, but that’s cool because it relates to the show, which is essentially about technology. It’s an 80’s theme song that has earned its place in immortality.
TV Mathan Sez: I’ll be honest; the only way I’m watching this show now is if Goliath, KARR or Garth are involved. What can I say, I dig the evil doppelganger concept.
Oz
There is malevolence throughout this tune. But what else would you expect from a prison-based drama? The drums and vocals give this theme an almost tribal feel, yet convey the violence and anger that is prevalent on the show. Just hearing this theme strikes fear in my heart of being Adebisi’s celly. Anyone know when season three comes out on DVD?
TV Mathan Sez: Dude, my love for this show is pretty well documented and I’d love to expound on my ideas for future Oz concepts, but I’d rather do that in another column. I will say that the commentary on Oz is pretty good. Dean Winters is always cracking me up. Buy the DVD’s, they make a great Mother’s Day Gift.
The Green Hornet
This song is “Flight of the Bumblebee.” Sure that song is always fast, but with this groovy beat it sounds like it’s on speed. Whoever is playing that horn deserves an award because he or she did an amazing job. Again this is a song that reflects the show. How can you have Bruce Lee as Kato and not have a fast paced theme? This theme goes so fast I promise you will be dizzy when it’s through.
TV Mathan Sez: I’ve seen this show a couple of times. It’s pretty much like the Batman show from the sixties. It’s cool, but nothing really great. Then again, the show does have a certain throwback appeal.
Starsky & Hutch
Yet another period piece this them is firmly rooted in the era of bellbottoms. But that also makes for a funky theme. I don’t even know what magical instruments they used to make those sounds, but it sounds great. Funky and fast paced sums up this theme.
TV Mathan Sez: Here’s my question about the movie; how are there two Starsky’s and Hutch’s? I can’t wrap my head around it. The show is more “comedy” than “quaint” and I can’t really watch an entire episode.
Police Story
This them is so brief that it leaves me mourning it’s end and longing for more. I’m particularly fond of the use of that funky guitar. This is just a nice mid tempo theme that creates and air of intrigue, which is appropriate since the viewers never knew what they were tuning in to see.
TV Mathan Sez: I was pumped to see a Police Story TV Movie on one of the Encore channels. I put it on just to catch the theme. I really wish this show get some play on a network. This was the show that informed me of “spades” racial connotation. True story; my friends and I laughed hysterically at the thought of “spade.”
Barnaby Jones
This tune creates a very suspenseful vibe. That flute is kind of foreboding. The song starts out strong, but than that flute drops ever so softly, while the beat continues on. It is quite a dichotomy; that soft flute and pounding beat. It makes for a very distinct theme.
TV Mathan Sez: Yes, this too is a show I wish I could watch right now. But what are you going to do? Is it wrong that I want to watch a geriatric P.I. solve mysteries? Ooh, maybe we could get a movie version starring Abe Vigoda!
Magnum P.I.
Yet another entry from the 80’s this theme is amazing. It starts out strong, then backs off for a mellow middle and ends with a bang. Anyone who hears this song and doesn’t envision him or herself driving a red Ferrari in Hawaii is clearly insane.
TV Mathan Sez: This is show of pluses and minuses. Plus; the ‘stache. Minus; the male hotpants. Plus; the ride. Minus; the lack of many Hawaiian cast members. Plus; Higgins. Minus; the actual stories.
Police Woman
When you hear Angie Dickinson you think quality. So of course the theme to this show, an Angie Dickinson vehicle, is a high quality theme. Sure the theme may be overly dramatic, but it fits the show, and perhaps more appropriately nails the era. And the way the theme punctuates her movements is classic.
TV Mathan Sez: Oh my God! There’s a chance that I’m the only person alive who remembers this show, and I wasn’t even alive when it originally aired. Won’t somebody think of Angie Dickinson’s royalties and show this program again!
The Wire
This tune perfectly captures Charm City’s soul. That gravely voice singing those haunting lyrics over an equally moody melody. As if I needed another reason to miss this show, it had one of the few theme’s that not only wasn’t a chore to sit through, but were pieces of music that would rung through your mind until the next time you head it.
TV Mathan Sez: Aside from my best friend Jason Torres this show really captures what I miss about Baltimore. I’m glad that the show got picked up and was even nominated for an Emmy! And check out Jason Torres’ interview with the vastly underrated Andre Royo.
Kojak
This theme has an air of regality to it. It swoons and soars and swells. Compared to other themes from the genre this theme is almost serene. Some of the themes on this list are classic, but this one is also classy.
TV Mathan Sez: I haven’t seen this show in years. But I do remember how cool and threatening Telly was. I’m betting that this show wouldn’t age too well, but I’d like to b able to gauge that for myself.
Mission Impossible
Doesn’t this them make you feel as though the weight of the world is on your shoulders, and right now you really have to go to the bathroom? This song expresses pressure musically, and in the perfect way. All the components combine and build to an amazing climax. This is one of the monsters of T.V. theme songs.
TV Mathan Sez: Y’know what one of the most memorable parts of this show was; when Martin Landau went off at Kennedy on the red carpet because she didn’t know that he was part of the cast of the show that inspired the movie. Absolute hilarity!
Rockford Files
I consider Jim Rockfish to be a close personal fiend of mine. When I was a kid, every summer Jim and I would have lunch together at 1:00. That is how I became acquainted with this fine theme. The song is a lot like Jimmy, it may be a little rough around the edges, but it’s smooth when it has to be. It’s dependable and it gets the job done. And c’mon how often do you hear harmonica nowadays?
TV Mathan Sez: Thankfully I can watch this show on WGN, which is apparently a “superstation” now. This show still lives up to my memories and my taste. Sure the fashion is a bit off, but the characters and stories are still sound.
The Fall Guy
Who doesn’t love a ballad, especially one detailing the plight of an overlooked, yet integral part of the movie making process? Not only does Lee Majors sing the theme, but also it has verses! A theme song with verses? It tells you all about the forgotten stuntman. This is one of the greatest country songs, ever.
TV Mathan Sez: I watch this show just for the theme. And for that dreamboat Lee Majors. Sadly I’ve not seen this show in two forevers. I couldn’t even conjure up a supporting cast or a plot line. Damn it, show the show.
Baretta
This is Sammy Davis Jr’s lasting legacy. “Keep your eye on the sparrow?” You don’t have to tell me twice. Listen to that voice and those growls. This song is intense. Sammy gave this song his all, and that is what makes this theme one of the greats.
TV Mathan Sez: It sucks that Robert Blake’s rep had to get so tarnished because I’d have loved to catch an episode of this. But, that the public thinks he’s “innocent” as opposed to innocent or even innocent there’s a slim chance of catching this show outside of an ironic airing on Court TV.
Hawaii Five O
This may be the greatest T.V. theme ever. Not only is it identifiable, instantly recognizable, its also incredibly catchy. I have no rhythm, but when I hear this song I instantly become a go-go dancer. It’s so fast paced and thrilling, like you are on a roller coaster speeding through the curves. And that ending. Man, what a theme.
TV Mathan Sez: See, this show had Hawaiian locals cast on the program. It’s much more quaint than riveting, but the overacting works. Sadly I’m betting that this show will be forever dismissed when C.S.I. Hawaii hits in 2008.
That’s it. Call it a remix or an homage, that’s all you’re getting this week. I promise next week will be a return to form.
J.A.M.
J is for Joe Reid beats a dead horse. Joe, that’s so last decade century millennium! The baton has been passed to the aforementioned Robert Blake. He also finishes up his Fall Flick Preview (which has so swayed me).
And I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I dream of one day having Joe write about me over on The Film Experience.
(Of course that would require me to stop playing The Warriors.)
A is for Aaron who debunks rumors, perpetuates stereotypes and actually insults one of my favorite songs of all time. Party All the Time is a certified classic. You crossed the line Cam, you crossed the line.
That’s all. I’m done.
Laters.
