Before we get going this week, I thought it was about time the fellow Velocity fans joined in on my blog and give me some food for thought, since apparently old fashioned snail mail is “out of fashion.”
– Some pre-show thought, I just finished watching that Robert Redford movie The Clearing, which was undoubtly one of the worst movies I’ve seen in the past decade. Oh well, i’m sure V-Loc will cheer me up. Maybe.
Paul London v. Kid Kash
At this point, after watching that midget match Friday, I think it’s safe to say that the WWE is pushing the juniors division more than they are the cruiserweight. But that’s not saying much, is it? I’m sure it will get pushed much more than that so-called “womens division” too. Kash goes on the offensive and gets pair of arm drags followed by a dropkick for 2. London gets up and gets a headlock. Kash fights out of it and hits a backbreaker over the knee, then puts him in a rear choke. London fights out bet gets knocked down by a clothseline, then applies a bow & arrow stretch. London gets out but gets back suplexed and locked into a surfboard. London fights back with punches, then hits a spinning heel kick setting up the hot shot or whatever. Dropsault gets 2. Kash gets a rewind DDT for 2. Kash sets London up top, but London slips off to the apron and pounds on Kash, then springs in with an Oklahoma Roll for 2. London lifts the elbow and Kash blind charges it, then London gets the Toe Tap. They fight up top now. London goes for a Supercanranna but Kash shoves him off to the canvas. Kid Kash follows it up with a moonsault from the top for the win.
Winner: Kid Kash
*3/4, I dunno, Kash’s new kind of cruiserweights thing just isn’t doing it for me. Also, I guess it doesn’t help doing iMPACT every week and getting comfortable with the X division then coming back to the WWE cruiserweight division.
Bobby Lashley v. Jason Pertin
Well, in the world fo squashes, putting Lashley in one is probably the worst way to go. No, this isn’t a Bash Man or Sylvain squash where you know the jobber is at least going to get some moves in. You’re pushing Lashley the way you are then throw him in a squash on a WWE.com broadcast show. Well, you know who won right?
Winner: Bobby Lashley
– no rating -, post-match sees Nunzio & Vito attack Lashley.
Sylvain v. Funaki
Syl goes to work early, the old ambush as the opponent is sliding into the ring trick. Syl lifts him up and gives him 2 drops over the knee then a big punch. He then criss cross whips Sho from turnbuckle to turnbuckle to turnbuckle. Syl lifts him up and gets a powerslam. Syl flirts with a girl in the first row Venis style, then gets a backbreaker and applied a Bearhug. For good measure he rams Funaki into the turnbuckle with it, then applies a second Bearhug. Woops, I actually caught myself checking my watch there. Funaki gets out and hits an enzigiri. Funaki dodges a blind charge and bulldogs Syl out of the corner. Funaki climbs up top and nails the high crossbody. Funaki tries the Tornado DDT but Syl blocks it and hits a Spinebuster followed by the modified Gourdbuster for the win.
1/2*, how do you really expect us to enjoy watching Funaki get dominated with bearhugs?
Jillian Hall v. Stacy Keibler
Okay, no. I’m sorry. I’m done. I refuse to recap this as a main event. I just won’t do it. I’m sorry. I’m not going to do this.
– no f*cking rating –
Pathetic.
