LEADING OFF
Happy Halloween!! Time to run around naked, yelling “HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!”, throwing lit jack-o-lanterns at people. Of course, I’ve been known to do that in June too.
WEEK EIGHT
(5-3) COWBOYS 34, (2-5) CARDINALS 13
Whattsamatta You?
The Cardinals rushed for 71 yards on the day. They are subscribing to the Andy Reid “We Don’t Need to Run the Ball” school of offense. It’s really working out great for both the Eagles and the Cardinals.
How About?
Cowboys rookie RB Marion Barber rushing for 127 yards and 2 TDs? Julius Jones may not have his starting job waiting for him when he gets healthy. Also, the Cowboys had NO penalty yards against them in this game. That’s the first time that’s happened in the NFL this season.
I’m A Genius (From Friday’s Column)
“Arizona is 1-17 on the road since 2003. Simply put, you can’t pick them to win on the road, against anybody. Whether it’s Julius Jones, Marion Barber, or a combination of the two carrying the ball, the Cowboys should be able to wear down the Cardinals with the running game, and pull away to a comfortable victory.”
That Other Running Back Named Barber
(1-6) TEXANS 19, (2-5) BROWNS 16
Whattsamatta You?
The Browns dominated this game in every statistical department, but lost this game on special teams. The Texans had almost as many yards in kickoff and punt returns (197) as they did in total offense running and passing the ball (237).
How About?
Not only did rookie WR Jerome Mathis score the game’s only touchdown on a 34 yard pass from David Carr, he set up the game winning field goal with a 63 yard kickoff return. Mathis also had an 89 yard kickoff return for a TD last week. He was a fourth round pick this year.
I’m A Genius (From Friday’s Column)
“I think the Texans are going to play this game with a little more urgency than the Browns. They aren’t going to have that many games they can win this year, this is one of them, and they know that. They showed a pulse against the Colts last week, while the Browns didn’t show any against the Lions. I’ll take the Texans by a point.”
TEXANS 17, BROWNS 16 (I missed by 2 points…but come on now, how often does a team score 16 points on the head? I think I deserve some kudos for predicting that. Where are my kudos??)
(4-4) RAMS 24, (4-3) JAGUARS 21
Whattsamatta You?
Jags’ kicker Josh Scobee missed from 44 and 48 yards. I’m thinking Seth Marler is getting a phone call today.
How About?
Stephen Jackson having a breakout game? Not only did he carry 25 times for 179 yards, he caught what turned out to be the game winning TD pass. Jags’ RB Fred Taylor also had a great day, rushing for 165 yards on 22 carries, including a 79 yard TD run. Jags receiver Ernest Wilford came out of nowhere to go for 145 receiving yards and a touchdown.
I’m A Genius (From Friday’s Column)
“The Jaguars are giving up 121 yards a game on the ground, and Rams RB Steven Jackson has responded to his increased workload in a positive way. The Rams have won 16 out of their last 19 at home, and even with all the injuries, I’ve got a hard time picking against that. I think the Rams jump up and bite the Jags this week.”
Coming Into His Own
(5-2) PANTHERS 38, (2-5) VIKINGS 13
Whattsamatta You?
Orgy Boat Captain Fred Smoot began his afternoon by talking some pregame smack to Steve Smith. The Admiral then backed up that talk by holding Smith to only 201 receiving yards. Smith celebrated a touchdown reception by pretending to row a boat in the end zone, paying tribute to the seamen on the opposing team. Ahoy!
How About?
How absolutely miserable this season has been for the Vikings? Now QB Daunte Culpepper could be out for the season with a knee injury. Is there a slaughter rule that can be invoked on this team? It’s really not ha-ha funny anymore.
I’m A Genius (From Friday’s Column)
“Carolina’s defense is going to create mistakes by the Vikings, and scoring opportunities for the offense. The Panthers win in a walk.”
(5-2) GIANTS 36, (4-3) REDSKINS 0
Whattsamatta You?
The way the Redskins played, I kept expecting to see Steve Spurrier on the Redskins sideline, wearing his headphones and talking to a piece of paper held up over his mouth.
How About?
Tiki Barber avenging the death of Wellington Mara with 206 rushing yards?
I’m A Genius (From Friday’s Column)
“The thing that bothers me about the Redskins is that when they played road games against Denver and Kansas City, who are about on the same level as the Giants, they played just well enough to lose. It’ll be a hard fought game, but I think it’s going to be another tough loss for Washington.”
(4-3) BEARS 19, (3-4) LIONS 13 OT
Whattsamatta You?
Jeff Garcia had a “what the hell” is he doing moment when he underhand flipped the ball in the air to avoid a sack. The ball was picked up by Bears LB Hunter Hillenmeyer and run back for a touchdown to put the Bears ahead in the 4th quarter. The play was reversed when it was determined the ball went forward, but Garcia made up for it by throwing an INT to Bears’ CB Peanut Tillman for the game winning touchdown. Good to see the Lions fixed that quarterback problem.
How About?
Those Bears? Yesterday’s win gives them a season sweep over the Lions, and gives them in essence a 2 game lead in the NFC North at the season’s halfway point.
I’m A Moron (From Friday’s Column)
“The game will be close, and because of that I have to give the edge to the Lions. Say what you want about Jeff Garcia, but he’s a winner. Add that to the fact that the Bears haven’t won in Detroit in their last 3 trips there, and are 4-14 on the road since 03, 1-7 on artificial turf, and I think the Lions slip by.”
Taking It to the Penthouse
(6-2) BENGALS 21, (1-6) PACKERS 14
Whattsamatta You?
The Bengals have a defense that can create turnovers, and even Brett Favre is not immune. He was picked off five times.
How About?
Bengals CB Deltha O’Neals 2 interceptions, giving him 6 on the season? As a team, the Bengals have already picked off 20 passes on the season.
I’m A Genius (From Friday’s Column)
“Brett Favre will find a way to make the final score close, but he just doesn’t have enough to work with to pull the upset here.”
(3-4) RAIDERS 34, (2-6) TITANS 25
Whattsamatta You?
The Titans’ gave up 6 sacks against a Raiders defense that had only 11 sacks on the season coming into the game.
How About?
Raiders WR Jerry Porter racking up 123 receiving yards and 2 touchdowns? Porter’s performance more than compensated for that of Randy Moss, who celebrated Halloween a day early, dressing up as the invisible man.
I’m A Moron (From Friday’s Column)
“These teams match up pretty evenly, but there’s the small matter of the Raiders being 2-16 on the road in the last 3 seasons, so they’ll figure out a way to lose this one.”
(3-4) DOLPHINS 21, (2-6) SAINTS 6
Whattsamatta You?
Saints QB Aaron Brooks completed only 14 of 31 passes, was intercepted once, got sacked 6 times, and fumbled twice without anybody touching him. But he saved a bunch of money on his car insurance.
How About?
The Dolphins might have a very dangerous running back tandem on their hands. Ronnie Brown carried for 106 yards, and Ricky Williams showed he is rounding into form, carrying 17 times for 82 yards.
I’m A Genius (From Friday’s Column)
“The winner of this game is going to be the team that screws up less. Nobody is better at screwing up than the Saints are, and the Dolphins have a speed oriented defense that can help them do that.”
Just For a Minute Let’s All Do the Bump
(4-4) CHARGERS 28, (4-3) CHIEFS 20
Whattsamatta You?
LaDanian Tomlinson was held without a touchdown for the second straight week. But that didn’t stop him from throwing his 3rd TD pass of the season, a 17 yard strike to Eric Parker.
How About?
Bolts TE Antonio Gates went absolutely yay yo in this game, catching 10 passes for 145 yards and 3 TDs. Gates had some extra motivation for this game, seeing it as a showdown with the Chiefs’ Tony Gonzalez to see who the best tight end in the game is. Gates has Chargers QB Drew Brees’ vote, “They are 1-2, he (Gates) showed, or confirmed, that he is the guy’, Brees told reporters after the game.
I’m A Genius (From Friday’s Column)
“The Chargers have the second ranked run defense in the NFL, so that means the burden of winning this game is going to fall on Trent Green, and well, you know how that worked out last year. (Green threw 4 INTs in a loss to the Chargers last year).”
(6-2) BRONCOS 49, (4-3) EAGLES 21
Whattsamatta You?
Donovan McNabb was 0 for 11 at one point in this game. The Eagles defense gave up 255 rushing yards, and gave up SEVEN touchdowns. That loud noise you heard last night around 6 PM, was the sound of the Eagles’ window closing.
How About?
One of the few bright spots in this game for Philly was a 91 yard touchdown reception by Terrell Owens. The Broncos’ Mike Anderson and Tatum Bell both rushed for over 100 yards, and Bell had a 67 yard touchdown run to bury the Eagles in the 4th quarter.
I’m A Moron (From Friday’s Column)
“The Eagles have the most dangerous passing game in the league, and the Broncos have one of the league’s weakest pass defenses (they rank 26th). That weakness was exposed against the Giants last week, and it’s going to cost them again this week. McNabb, TO, Westbrook and company get a huge win on the road.”
(2-5) 49ERS 15, (5-2) BUCS 10
Whattsamatta You?
Cadillac Williams made his long awaited return to the Bucs’ backfield, and carried 13 times for 20 yards. If he was a horse, they’d have to shoot him.
How About?
Cody Pickett, who started the year as SF’s 4th string quarterback, and who plays on special teams, took over at QB after Ken Dorsey left with an injury, and led the team to a field goal to give the Niners their final margin of victory. Kevin Barlow got into the Halloween spirit by returning from the dead to rush for over 100 yards.
I’m A Moron (From Friday’s Column)
“Another week, another ass waxing for SF.”
Like Old Times in SF
(4-3) PATRIOTS 21, (3-5) BILLS 16
Whattsamatta You?
The Patriots won, but they are still far from looking like 2 time defending champs. They trailed 16-7 midway through the 4th quarter against a team that lost 38-17 to the Raiders last week.
How About?
Did Teddy Bruschi play last night? I think I missed the first 300 times they fawned all over him. Good for him that he came back, but geez ESPN, know when to say when. Bills RB Willis McGahee shredded the Pats for 136 yards on 31 carries, while WR Eric Moulds had 125 receiving yards.
I’m A Genius (From Friday’s Column)
“The Patriot secondary is still suspect, but they should be able to move the ball at will, and control the game.”
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOOOOBALLL????? MONDAY NIGHT
(2-4) BALTIMORE RAVENS AT (4-2) PITTSBURGH STEELERS
9 PM Eastern, ABC, Steelers favored by 11 ½
The Storyline
The Steelers gained a lot of momentum with a huge win on the road against the Bengals last week, and hope to make it two division wins in a row this week. They face a Ravens team that is suffering from a complete lack of offense. They haven’t scored over 17 points in a game all year, and things won’t get any easier for them against a tough Steeler defense.
Key Questions
Is Ben Roethlisberger an MVP candidate?
I think he is. In only his second year in the league, Roethlisberger has made the leap from being a plug n’ play caretaker quarterback, to being a difference maker who is the main reason why his team is winning. Big Ben has an unearthly 120.7 QB rating headed into this game, and you only have to look at the team’s 23-17 home loss to Jacksonville to see how average this team is without him in the lineup. The Steelers are averaging over 10 yards every time they throw the ball, and it is because of Roethlisberger’s strong arm, and strong decision making.
How bad have things gotten for the Ravens?
I think it’s best summed up by a direct quote from a Ravens fan that made it to press in the Baltimore Sun this week. The astute Ravens rooter said, “I never thought I’d say this, but I can’t wait for Kyle Boller to come back.” When you are pining for Kyle Boller, things have gotten really, really bad.
The latest scapegoat has been running back Jamal Lewis, who’s yards per carry average this year is only slightly higher than mine is. Some are wondering if injuries and a jail sentence are writing a premature finish to Lewis’ career at 26 years old. More likely, Lewis has lost his passion for playing for the Ravens. Lewis told the Washington Post this week, “”It gets very tiring. Everybody is depending on you. I gave and gave and gave over the last five, six years. I gave it all. Sometimes it’s got to be a change. I expect for it to be easier for me sometimes. I expect I don’t have to beat up on defense all the time. Maybe one day it’ll ease up. That’s what I’m looking for. Hopefully, that day will come. If not, five or six years from now, I’m going to be tore down.”
HERE’S YOUR FORECAST
With each week it’s becoming more and more clear that this is the final act for the Ravens team as we know them. Major changes will be needed this offseason to reverse the decline of this franchise, and those changes probably start with the head coach. Expect to see a lot of close ups of a very sad looking Brian Billick tonight, with Al Michaels talking in hushed tones and John Madden stuttering and sputtering about what a rough time the Ravens are having.
STEELERS 30, RAVENS 13
Time and Punishment- Looking Ahead
Steelers Win-
The Steelers kept themselves within striking distance of the Bengals last week, and a win here keeps them right on their tails. Pittsburgh’s next 3 games are against Green Bay, Cleveland, and these same Ravens, so they have a great chance of being 8-2 heading into a Monday Night game at Indy in Week 12. Meanwhile, the Ravens record would drop to 2-6, and you can take these blackbirds and bake them in a pie, cause they’re done.
Ravens Win-
A win keeps the Ravens breathing for one more week, and would be a big boost to their morale. They’ll need it, because after this they face the Bengals twice, the Jaguars, and the Steelers again. If Pittsburgh somehow drops this one, it would wipe out all the momentum they gained with the win over Cincy last week.
MVP?
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY…
These teams would be in:
NFC
1. NY Giants- NFC East Champs
2. Seattle- NFC West Champs
3. Atlanta- NFC South Champs
4. Chicago- NFC North Champs
5. Carolina- Wildcard
6. Tampa Bay- Wildcard
1st Round Matchups
Tampa Bay at Atlanta
Carolina at Chicago
Bye- NY Giants, Seattle
AFC
1. Indianapolis- AFC South Champs
2. Denver- AFC West Champs
3. Cincinnati- AFC North Champs
4. New England- AFC East Champs
5. Pittsburgh- Wildcard
6. Kansas City- Wildcard
1st Round Matchups
Kansas City at Cincinnati
Pittsburgh at New England
Bye- Indianapolis, Denver
Okay then that’s a wrap for Week Ocho! We’ll see you back on Friday as we round the buoy on the NFL season, and begin the home stretch with a look at Week Nine!
