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Let’s cut through all the shit and I’ll do Raw and then talk about this product and Christian. I’m pissed about this, so I’m going to be watching Raw completely jaded and not really giving a shit. But you’ll get my honest opinion regardless. Eric is away once again but will be back next week or with some sort of Short Form later this week. Let’s just go…

Raw

– HBK vs. Cena will be tonight. They’ll degrade the Divas with a Halloween costume contest. Additionally, Stone Cold will answer Coach…great.

– GM Eric out with Chris Masters. Masters wants a Masterlock challenge with Rey Mysterio. Teddy Long and Rey come out for the challenge. Rey is a walking Mexican flag, full size. Oh wait, it’s the American flag on the backside too. Masters talks trash, Mysterio knocks him in the head with the microphone and starts hopping him. The Raw locker room empties and here is Smackdown…with Christian…professional to the end. Smackdown cleans house and Teddy lets Eric know that Smackdown will be at Taboo Tuesday in full force.

COMMERCIALS

– Eric Bischoff lets Edge and Masters know that they CANNOT LOOSE TOMORROW…

– Angle out for a match against…Japanese Sun Reporter Tajiri. “Let’s Go Angle,” chants break out across the crowd. Angle dismantles Tajiri, hitting a belly to belly, the leg scissors on the ribs with the face grind among other things. Tajiri makes the comeback with some NASTY kicks. Angle turns the Tarantula into the ankle lock…f*cking sweet work by Angle there. Tajiri taps.

Angle takes the microphone and lets Cena know that he doesn’t give a damn who the third man is because he WILL win the belt. He shows the footage of Cena tapping out, which brings Cena out with a flying shoulder block and some shots to the head before Angle bails.

COMMERCIALS

– Video package on the history of Flair and HHH. Nice package, but a waste of my time.

– Flair comes out and with a mic in his hand he’s a bad bad man. “Game over? I don’t think so! The game has just begun. Hunter, I have kissed your ass for so long; tomorrow night I’m going to kick it….I pray to God we’re in a cage tomorrow night.” After that about a dozen “WOOO”s and that’s it.

– COMMERCIALS

– Rob Conway comes out. He’ll probably face an 80-year-old “legend”. Here is the glaring difference between Conway and Orton: Orton beat legends that people cared about. So he faces the angry defender of the legends, Eugene…yes…Eugene. Eugene is as pissed as a handicapped kid who had his wheelchair tires deflated and he UNLOADS on Conway, until Conway turns the tide. After a healthy beating, Eugene TARDS UP and goes for a Stunner, reversed, Eugene hits a Rock Bottom but Conway gets the foot on the ropes before nailing Eugene with a chair to the head. He wails on Eugene until Jim Duggan comes out and nails him with the 2×4. Kamala nails a splash and Snuka hits the Superfly. Lawler comes down with the Burger King mask and hits the flying fist on Conway.

– Todd Grisham is dressed as Harry Carey. He makes fun of Gregory Helms before Foley interrupts. Foley was apparently editing a video for Carlito and tells Todd “Nice Church Lady.” Fucking Foley is the man. Todd Grisham sucks as Carey by the way, Will Ferrel is much better.

COMMERCIALS

– Carlito is out and he talks about how he doesn’t know who he’s facing. Dude Love pops up on the screen and cuts a promo, then Cactus cuts a promo, then Mankind cuts a promo. They don’t go the extra mile and have all 3 appear on screen at the same time. Coach cuts in and tells Carlito not to worry, effectively killing any heat that the promos just garnered. He calls out Stone Cold and they cut to commercial. What the f*ck was that for? You piss on the match that Carlito was out to promote and Foley was on the screen to promote to run promotion for Coach/Austin. That’s bullshit.

FUCKING COMMERCIAL

– Coach is waiting and brings out the man he will have in his corner…GOLDUST? Wait what? That’s right! Dusty works for WWE now! So Goldust is Coach’s second. They call Austin out and heeeeeeeeeere’s Vince McMahon. He says Austin was in an accident this weekend and will not be at Taboo Tuesday. He doesn’t know if it is real or Austin fears Coach, but since Austin won’t be there he gets a forfeit. But Coach will compete at Taboo Tuesday…against Smackdown, NUMBA ONE ANNOUNCA, Funaki. Funaki comes out and Goldust whoops ass and hits Funaki will the Curtain Jerker. Coach wants another Smackdown guy and McMahon says we’ll have to wait until Taboo Tuesday but…DAVE’S music hits and Big Daddy Batista hits the ring. Well, he did say he preferred Raw. Goldust jumps Batista and its…VADER TIME? Vader hits the ring and waits for Batista to nail Goldust before he KILLS Batista dead and holds him so Coach can slap him. Folks, what I just typed is indeed true…and I have no idea what the hell this company is doing…

COMMERCIALS…hopefully no surprises during the commercials…

– Raw in Australia video package…the champ is herrr wit da kangerrooos son.

– Triple H is out for a match seemingly…let’s see if he gets jumped…I honestly feel Stephanie went to the plastic surgeon, held up a picture of Triple H and said “I want THOSE tits.” Viscera is his opponent and as he steps over the top rope Triple H takes out his nuts. Pedigree and it’s over. Total squash, even Blatt knows Jerry Jarrett is booking this. HHH hits Vis with the stairs and cuts a promo on Flair and yadda yadda yadda.

COMMERCIALS…but the big news is Austin walked because he didn’t want to job to Coach with interference from Mark Henry. So he is out and they came up with all that mess to cover it. Additionally, Torrie Wilson is gone for some reason. This is a weird weird day for this company.

– Todd Grisham with John Cena and Cena instantly makes fun of him. He makes him act as Harry Carray and it’s not funny and Cena lets him know it. Cena cuts a promo and we have some…

COMMERCIALS

– Heart Throbs in the ring to face Big Show and Kane…wow…just give away the vote. This is a Texas Tornado match and Big Show and Kane mimic each other’s moves and just kill the Throbs.

COMMERCIALS

– Taboo Tuesday press conference.

– King is in the ring for the Divas match. Ashley is dressed as my wet dream number 3/Dark Angel. Maria is wet dream number 4/Good Angel. Candace is Catwoman. Micki James is Trish Stratus. WET DREAM NUMBER 1 is Victoria in a White Sox hat, sticking it to Angel’s fans…and she is THE HOTTIE. Trish Stratus is Wonderwoman and wet dream number 2. Micki tells everyone to vote for Trish and Victoria lays down the law and takes a swing with her baseball bat. All the girls gang up on Candace after Micki kicks Victoria out of the ring. Victoria comes back in and dumps Micki. She then walks into the Chick kick and that is all. This show is so damn odd right now…

COMMERCIALS

– Cena vs. Michaels and I’ll just tell you the end because I am trying to get my head to stop spinning from all this shit. Crowd does chant, “You tapped out!” at Cena, which I think is cool. Angle runs in after a pretty good match and whoops up until Cena gets him up for the FU. HBK superkicks “Cena”. I say that because it looked like he hit Angle while he was on Cena’s shoulders. Nonetheless, Cena sells it. HBK leaves the belt on Cena. By the way, WWE would like you to vote for Michaels.

That is the end of the oddest Raw I have ever seen in my existence. The matches were alright, but everything else was just so weird it was ridiculous. This company has so many internal problems that I will get to in the next section that you can literally see the cancer spreading.


Sinking The Good Ship Titan

If you expect me to start telling you how TNA is coming up on WWE and will be sinking their battleship within a year, please scroll down to the next section. TNA will not bring WWE down. WWE is and will continue bringing itself down. Ridiculous storylines, bad talent management, horrible writing, egos, political games. It reminds a net fan of WCW in every way.

How do you know WWE is a ship with a huge hole blown in it? Net fans, the ones that know everything about everything, are selling their stock in the company. Any wrestler in WWE will tell you we know nothing. But they know better. But why is WWE dying a slow, painful death? Let’s explore the reasons stated above.

Ridiculous Story Lines: You’ve seen the crap that WWE has been throwing up every week. The icing is the removal of JR from the Raw booth. We now know that WWE has no intention of bringing him back to the booth. Why not just tell the fans the truth? Why bombard us with a story that sees Linda McMahon turn heel? How in the world could you expect Steve Austin to say yes to jobbing to Coach with assistance from Mark Henry? Does WWE know when to fold ’em, so to speak, and just accept that someone was brain dead when they gave Henry his contract and get rid of him? But WWE will accept nothing less in their quest for complete failure and will keep shoving these things down our throats.

Bad Talent Management: This starts with Johnny Ace and ends with Stephanie McMahon. Go ahead and tell me that I am not behind the scenes so I don’t know what is really going on. You’d be correct. However, I am sitting here watching and I do read the net so I see and read and can get a general impression of what is going on. First, name me one Johnny Ace move that has paid off in spades for the company. Now, name me moves that Johnny Ace has made that have riled the locker room up and have cost WWE money. Second list is a lot easier to put together, right? From fining people to dress codes unless it doesn’t fit their “character” to booting the Dudleys, Ace has done NOTHING worthwhile in his position. Then you move to Stephanie McMahon. I won’t even go into the Triple H factor. Stephanie runs creative and creative has been utterly horrible. This has led to things such as Austin walking and Christian doing the same. I will admit right here that I am biased. Christian is perhaps my favorite performer in the company and he has been ripped to shreds by creative. So much so that he chose to walk out rather than continue on. Creative pushed Christian on Raw and built a feud with Cena that would’ve catapulted him if not into the main event, to the top of the mid card, which would be something they could build off of. But for some reason…actually…to pump more spirit into their draft lottery, they shipped Christian to Smackdown while moving Cena to Raw. Then they buried him. Why? Maybe they asked him to sign a new deal a while ago and he didn’t want to at the time. Maybe they just felt like it. Or maybe, and this is just a maybe, WWE’s creative team, with Stephanie at its helm, has no clue how to write a wrestling show. Hollywood writers with a girl who’s placenta is probably running the ring crew by proxy just don’t get it. They aren’t just giving us net fans what we want. They are not giving casual fans anything to look forward to. I’m not lying, look at the buy rates.

Horrible Writing: See above for all you need to know.

Egos: Triple H just got back, so I won’t harp on him although he is the pinnacle of what is wrong here. But overall you have people in positions of power that don’t have their head on straight and think that by being on TV more, they will save the product. Yes, I’m talking about the McMahons, minus Linda and Shane. Then you have the “locker room leaders” in Bob Holly, JBL, The Undertaker, Triple H and Shawn Michaels. Bob Holly has never been worth the tights he wears. JBL is a bully who, much like Holly is in a position of power because he has somehow managed not to get released for almost a decade. The Undertaker is a guy who should have clout. But then again, when the guy goes on vacation 6 months out of every year, why would the young guys look up to him. HHH is married into the company; alas he is more of a thorn to guys than a leader. Shawn Michaels, regardless of whether Jesus has taken over him, is still a game player who will get what he wants via his relationship with Triple H. Young guys need to find their way and look up to people who work hard and work selflessly. Guys who will do the job and not have to get their win back. Sorry to say this in a column that is joined with Eric’s, but young guys need a guy like The Rock to look up to.

Political Games: See above. The fact is that guys will use their friendships or seniority to get the matches and the wins they want. It’s WCW all over again. End of the day, you have guys that will stop at nothing to win fake fights.

The good ship Titan is sinking and sinking fast. Tonight on Raw and today on the internet were true examples of this. No, TNA will not take them down. WWE is killing itself and nobody is willing to do anything about it. I pose the following 5 things:

1) Fire Johnny Ace and convince Jim Ross, after he gets to leave the right way, to take over his old job again.
2) Fire the Creative Team and reassign Stephanie within the company, possibly as a second to Jim Ross.
3) Hire two former wrestlers with no current connection to anyone in the company for the creative team. Then hire 3 fans of the product for creative. Put them under the umbrella of Paul Heyman
4) Get the fans accustomed to all different styles of wrestling. This means pushing the Cruiserweights. This means creating a tag team division. This means having some hardcore matches that are not jokes, but rather actually hardcore because of their intensity.
5) Merge the brands. Tell me how much this won’t work. Go right ahead. At the end of the day you could merge the brands and essentially keep things the way they are. You can have a heavyweight champion and his feud featured on both shows. Ditto the IC Title and Tag Titles. You can highlight the Cruiserweights on Raw and the Women on Smackdown so the shows are not too clogged. Heat and Velocity, not developmental territories, will serve as a basis to get guys ready for the big shows. Additionally, these shows can serve as springboards for certain feuds, which would make fans actually watch the shows online.

There you have it. Would it all work? Maybe, maybe not. But it is a distinct change in the company from the way it is running now, which is a good thing.

Now, since I know that I have a couple of current talents on the main roster that read this, I ask you to do something for me. Print this. Rip off the top and the bottom so nobody sees where it came from. Scatter a couple in the halls. See what happens. Thanks.


– I’d be remiss if I didn’t really let my feelings show about Christian’s departure from the company. I don’t watch TNA and I probably won’t ever really get into it. Horrible time slot is the biggest factor there. So I will probably read about where Christian goes and how his travels work out. But let me put this down on paper before I forget it. Christian is one of the most entertaining people in the business. On the stick it is hard to rival him and in the ring he is a top-flight performer. I have had the privilege of watching him from the moment he won the cruiserweight title all the way through tonight on Raw where he was a professional when he didn’t need to be. I always felt as though he could waltz into the main event scene and not look out of place, regardless of his size. His feud with Chris Jericho that wound up with him taking Trish was a classic old feud with a slow burn and a payoff that ultimately made Christian look ready to go all the way. When he and Cena started trading verbal jabs on combined shows, I was already in a seat in an arena waiting for it. Then it stopped. He was shipped to Smackdown. He was a jobber for Batista. He was done. WWE killed Christian, with no warning and no reason. Now all reports state they shoved a contract in his face and told him to sign. He didn’t. It pisses me off that he’ll be gone, but makes me happy as a human being that he really won’t skip a beat by probably going to TNA. He will win the NWA title within 6 months, which is exciting. But damned if Christian wasn’t wronged here.


On that note…I’m done…for a little while to be honest. Over the past 2 months I have grown so aggravated with the product that it has ceased being worthwhile for me to watch. I have police tests to worry about and a online store to build. I will come back to watching Raw, I just don’t know when. I won’t stop writing this column, because I enjoy the outlet too much. I just won’t write about Raw or Smackdown or iMPACT, like I ever did. I’ll write about what I see on the net. I might have some games for people to play. I won’t lack content, that I can promise. I’ll just lack any caring for the WWE product because the people running WWE don’t even care about it. To be blunt and completely honest, the only talent that I care about right now is the women, because they are the only ones that actually seem to care and actually try, even with all the horrible crap they’re given. So I’m done with it. I’ll see you next week with whatever material I am given and whatever material you want to hear. Adios…