Brain Spill: Drawn Together Is Animation That Is Sooooo Good

Growing up, when Poppa D (P. Daddy as we call him now) used to see me watching “cartoons” as they were called back then… uh… they’re “animation” now… he used to say ” DeeDee, aren’t you too OLD to be watching cartoons?” Ok party people, I was 13 and nothing was better than sitting down with my Captain Crunch watching the Smurfs on a Saturday afternoon just before Soul Train got my sistah groove on. Not to mention He Man and She Ra everyday after school. Screw the soaps, I was all about HeMan the Master Of the Universe… don’t even get me started on Thundercats. So I’ve always been a fan of animation….Ergo, hence, moreover: The Simpsons, Family Guy, Animaniacs… I could go on for days. I don’t want to grow up, I’m a Toys R Us kid… Peter Pan (and not in the gross Michael Jackson way… though I do like my men younger…HA!)

Drawn Together is capitalizing on the downward spiral that reality shows have taken, an animated mock-umentary seems to be the fit that only Comedy Central can deliver…and they push that envelope!

We have 8 COMPLETELY stereotypical characters… SU-PRIZE!!! SU-PRIZE!!! set up in situations spoofed on you by the finest reality tv shows on air: Apprentice, Real World, Survivor, to name a few.

Bucky Bucks is the Apprentice version of “Richie Rich” who flips his auburn Xtreme parted hair every 5 seconds and tells the group their missions.

The group is made up of reality’s best stereotypes:

Wooldorf Sockbat – The unknown whosathingie whatchamacallit (kind of like the Animaniacs)…The wacky one of the bunch who can morph into just about anything. Which is good to have. Except he’s such a whack job nobody cares.

Xandir – The video game character who is on the never-ending quest to save his ‘girlfriend’. Most sure to have come from the land where they wave the rainbow flag high!

Foxxy Love – The nasty sexpot of the house. Mystery solving musician and the instrument she plays? Tambourine baby! Shake it girl!

Princess Clara – The naive fairytale princess who sings melodious, angelic songs that are more racist & cracked than a carton of eggs at Denny’s.

Spanky Ham – From the internet. Porn lover. Lover of poo (and we’re not talking the honey loving bear with a red shirt and no pants!) Lover of things downright wrong. The foul mouthed antagonist.

Toot Braunstein – Black & White pinup from the 1930’s. Jealous of thin bitches and bitches in color. Sweet, manipulative, zoftig.

Ling Ling – Devious Asian trading card that speaks in a Japanese-rike ranguage that nobody can understand so it’s treated like a pet.

Captain Hero – Horny bastard. Vain. Mysogynistic. Caped crusader, only his crusade is to get laid.

This show brings in lines that only late night Comedy Central can get away with… by the way, did you know they can cuss like sailors on late night cable? When did this law pass? “Hello, FCC??? Yeah, it’s me, Comedy Central… uh…we’re gonna start cussing a lot when the kids go to sleep….it’s funny… you’ll see…”

Season Premiere starts off with a plane crash ala “LOST”, and a suicide. Wooldoorf decides it’s time to hang it up… or hang himself, should I say, with the assistance of the Microsoft Paperclip popping up saying “You look like you need some help! Don’t forget to blame your parents and say goodbye cruel world!” I hate that Paperclip.

Everyone makes it back to the house except for Toot who is a beached whale discovered by the local tribe who is fascinated by the huge mass that washed ashore. She eats everything and everyone in sight. They throw her a bunch of fish and say “I haven’t seen that much fish eaten since Lillith Fair”.

So the house is now in search of a new roommate. They fly to Hollywood and try to make it big with producers and get doors slammed in their faces with comments like “we have nothing for reality tv stars!” They hold auditions and show interviews with Speedy Gonzalez, Wilma Flintstone and Scorpion from Mortal Kombat. They are all mezmorized by the cuteness of Strawberry Sweetcake who is more like a bipolar crackhead, and choose her as the new roommate. Personally, I would have chosen Speedy Gonzalez, after all, he eees the fasteeest mouse in all of Mexico.

Meanwhile, Waldoor did not successfully hang himself and is buried alive. He attempts to get out of his coffin thanks to the martial arts skills he remembers from Kill Bill vol. 2 and escapes in a Dig Dug animated form. He returns to find that his Strawberry Sweetcake has turned his family into candy bars and the entire house is eating them. According to Sweetcake, “You can’t spell slaughter without laughter”. He hysterically joins them and laughs as he eats his uncle. Ok… so it’s a little out there. But that’s what so great about this show. It’s pretty raunchy, racy, racist, makes a lot of pop culture references and has Comedy Central darling Adam Corolla voicing Spanky Ham. It’s another animation hit for our generation to watch, which is why it’s on at crazy hours. Chances are the viewing audience is in an altered state of mind. And I believe my veins were full of the finest box of wine when I was watching it.

I can’t wait for next week!!! Reunite on ice!!!