InsidePulse’s TNA Prime Time iMPACT! Report

Welcome to InsidePulse’s Live TNA Prime Time iMPACT! Coverage. I am your host Jeremy Lambert fresh off watching the newest episode of The O.C. Tonight TNA goes prime time with a 2 hour special on SpikeTV that it action packed. I will bring you all the results as well as hockey results since my Avalanche are dropping the puck here in a bit. So it’s 2 for 1 tonight. New stuff is in italics.

TNA busted out a new video that recaps the history of TNA. A nice little package.

Hey look, TNA starts with get this, a wrestling match

Jeff Hardy, Lance Hoyt, Sabu vs. The Diamonds In The Rough: Hoyt and Simon start it off. Hoyt hits a side slam and goes for the big boot but Simon ducks and tags in Young. Hardy tags in. Hardy gains control with a twisting enzuguri and the whisper in the wind. Skipper comes in and Sabu hits him with a stiff punch. Skipper comes back with a snapmare, kick combo. Double flapjack by Young and Skipper on Sabu. Young tags in. Young whips Sabu to the corner but Sabu gets the boot up. Springboard clothesline by Sabu. Hoyt tags in and hits everything that moves. Sabu hurts his ankle because he blew a spot, idiot. Hardy ends up hitting the Swanton Bomb on Skipper for the win.
Winners- Jeff Hardy, Lance Hoyt, Sabu

Abyss comes in and hits Sabu with the Black Hole Same. Hoyt and Hardy take out Abyss.

TONIGHT: Team 3D vs Team Canada, Rhino vs Jarrett, Ultimate X

Commercials

During the commercials I should warn everyone that my computer monitor continues to go out at random moments so if the updates are slow it’s probably because it went out. When it comes back up Ill do a quick recap and then continue from there. Thanks for understanding

A promo for Genesis airs.

Shane Douglas is back stage with Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett and Management dont like each other. If Jarrett loses tonight, he’s out of TNA. Well that’s your main event spoiler. Jarrett compares tonight to big events in the world (man on the moon, lightbulb, telephone). Monty Brown interupts. Brown is stalking Jeff Jarrett, that’s scary. Brown cuts a pretty funny promo that got a chuckle out of me. Brown wants Jarrett to win so he can beat Jarrett. Brown is about to destroy some jobber. POOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUNCE PERIOD!

Monty Brown vs. Jobber In The Ring: You know the drill, Brown dominates 3/4 of the match, he hits all his big moves, POOOOOOUUUUUUNCE PERIOD! over. Wait no, Brown hits another POOOOOOOOUUUUUUNCE PERIOD! . Shit, another POOOOOOOUUUUUUUNCE PERIOD! Brown hits the hat trick and now it’s over
Winner- Monty Brown

A Promo airs for Rhino

Commercials

Speaking of Hat Tricks, Eric Staal is denied a Hat Trick because the refs suck.

Promo for the X Division

Christopher Daniels, Alex Shelley, Samoa Joe vs. Sonjay Dutt, Austin Aries, AJ FUCKIN STYLES!: Shelley and Aries start it off. They trade headlocks. DUELING CHANTS! Sit down head scissors by Shelley but Aries gets out and hits a dropkick. A trip following by a sling shot twisting splash by Aries. Dutt tags in. Aries and Dutt double team Shelley and it leads to Dutt hitting the sprinkler elbow. Hip toss by Dutt and he then hits the sprinkler on Shelley. Shelley gets the upperhand with a side suplex. Joe tags in and kicks the shit out of Dutt. Dutt tries to go high risk but Joe swats him down. Running corner knees by Joe. Daniels tags himself in. Dutt gets control with a hip toss and a hurricanrana and who tags in? AJ FUCKIN STYLES! AJ hits a series of arm drags until Joe tags himself in. AJ VS JOE!!!!!!! AJ hits a drop toe hold and then puts Joe in the mexican chinlock. Dutt puts Shelley in the octopus. Aries puts Daniels in some cool submission. 3 SUBMISSIONS AT ONCE!!!!! AJ and Dutt hit corner dropkicks on Joe. Aries suicide dives onto Daniels. Aries gets on the apron and Joe kicks him off. Back in the ring, a snap mare follwed by kicks by Joe on Aries. Powerslam by Joe. Daniels tags in. Daniels runs at Aries but Aries ducks and Daniels hits Joe. AJ tags in and hits everything that moves. German suplex, whipslash combo by AJ on Shelley. Tilt o whirl back breaker, sto combo on AJ by Daniels. Joe takes out Dutt. Aries hits a crucifix slam on Joe. Aries goes to the top but is shoved off by Shelley. Suicide dive by Shelley on Aries. Joe holds AJ and Daniels charges but hits Joe. Joe hits Daniels. Shelley goes for the Sudden Death on AJ but AJ escapes and hits the Styles Clash on Shelley for the win
Winners- AJ FUCKIN STYLES, Sonjay Dutt, Austin Aries

Promo on Jeff Jarrett

Commercials

As I flip back to the Avs game, I see they have taken a 2-1 lead. I hope they coninue to add on to that total.

TNA DVD promo

Shane Douglas is backstage with Rhino. Rhino takes some hidden shots at TNA. Raven shows up and security is quick to grab him. Rhino will Gore Jarrett.

Promo for Team 3D

Team Canada vs. Team 3-D: Devon and Young start is off. Young tags in Roode before anything happens. Roode and Devon trade punches. Devon gains control with a shoulder block. Scoop slam by Devon followed by a leg drop. Roode shoves Devon into the heel corner and tags in Young. Devon hits a shoulder block on Young and then tags in Ray. Scoop slam followed by 3 elbow drops by Ray. Young chops Ray to no effect. Ray chops Young down and follows with a suplex. Roode comes in and Ray sends him to the outside. 3D goes for the Wuzzup but Roode shoves Devon off the ropes. Heel kick by Young

Commercials

SCORE BY JOE SAKIC TO MAKE IT 3-1 AVS!!!!!!!!

When we return Roode is working over on Devon. Young tags in and Devon tries to make a comeback but Young cuts him off. Rope choke by Young. Roode tags in. Chinlock by Roode. Devon fights out with punches and a powerslam. Devon tags in Ray but Young distracts the ref so no tag. Young is in and he hits a jawbreaker on Devon. Roode tags back in and slams Devon. Middle rope knee drop by Roode followed by a top rope elbow drop by Young. Devon chops Young but Young hits the eye rake. Roode tags in and works Devon over. Team Canada tries a double clothesline but Devon hits his own double clothesline. Tag to Ray who hits everything that moves. Ray throws Roode to the outside and side slam Young. Neckbreaker on Young. Samoan drop on Roode. Powerbomb on Young. Reverse 3D by Team 3D. Dusty punchs by Ray on Young. A1 swings and misses with the hockey stick on Ray. 3LK take out A1. 3-D on Young for the win.
Winners- Team 3-D

TONIGHT: Rhino vs Jeff Jarrett

NEXT: ULTIMATE X!

Commercials

Another promo for Genesis

Promo for Ultimate X

Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin vs. Matt Bentley: It looks as if TNA has fixed the X problem because it looks hung a different way. Bentley and Sabin attack Petey to start. Ok, im going to cop out of this match. I really want to watch and enjoy this match so I will give everyone big move highlights instead of move by move. Sabin dropkicks Peteys head into the scaffold. Superplex by Bentley on Sabin. TRIPLE DUELING CHANTS! Traci climbs the scaffold to get away from Petey. Super neckbreaker by Bentley on Sabin. Nation Anthem by Petey on Bentley. Suicide dive by Sabin onto Bentley. Slingshot armcanrana to the outside by Petey on Sabin.

Commercials

We are back and Petey takes a nasty fall. Bentley climbs the wires but Petey powerbombs him off. Half the X falls down, f*cking great. Super german suplex by Sabin on Petey. Bentley is on the X wires. Sabin goes to powerbombs Petey. Bentley kicks Petey into a hurricanrana on Sabin and Bentley falls. Super Kick on Petey, Cradle Shock on Bentley. Sabin climbs the wires but Petey pulls him into a inverted atomic drop. CANADIAN DESTROYER!!!!!!! Bentley climbs the wires. D’Amore comes in and Traci spears him. Petey and Sabin chicken fight on the wires. Low blow by Petey and Bentley falls. Petey grabs the X and it’s over.
Winner- Petey Williams

Backstage, Team Canada is sticking it to 3LK. Get it, sticking it to them, hockey sticks? Haha

Commercials

We are back and it’s Main Event time

Jeff Jarrett vs. Rhino: Lets see how overbooked TNA makes this match shall we? The TNA World Title looks so small around Rhino, that’s not a good thing. Borash does the intros.

Commercials

We return with the opening bell. What did they do for 3 minutes?

They trade arm locks to start. Dropkick by Jarrett. THE STRUT!!!!!!! Drop toe hold by Jarrett. Rhino is up and wails away on Jarrett. Press slam by Rhino. Rhino goes for the Gore but Jarrett ducks out of the ring. And the overbooking begins. Rhino tosses Jarrett into the crowd. They battle in the crowd. A fan holds up a chair and Rhino slams Jarretts head into it. Rhino chokes Jarrett on the railing. Rhino tosses Jarrett onto the announce table. Rhino sets up and table and Jarrett attacks from behind. Back in the ring, Jarrrett goes on the offense. Rhino gets the advantage and goes for the Rhino Driver but Gail Kim comes down to distract. Jarrett fights out and dumps Rhino to the outside. Jarrett whips Rhino into the railing. Jarrett tosses Rhino back in the ring and follows. Running rope choke by Jarrett. A bear hug by Jarrett. Rhino fights out but runs into the knee of Jarrett. Chinlock by Jarrett. Rhino fights out. Samoan cutter by Rhino. Both men are down so I make a quick flip to see the Avs up 3-2. Both men are up and Rhino punches Jarrett. Back elbows by Rhino. Corner shoulder block by Rhino. He goes for another one but Jarrett kicks Rhino in the knee. Figure Four by Jarrett. Rhino reverses it and Gail Kim goes to the top. She misses a leg drop. Rhino goes to press slam Kim but Jarrett hits the low blow. Jarrett covers with his feet on the ropes but the ref spots it. Spine buster by Rhino after Jarrett argues with the ref. Belly to belly suplex by Rhino. Rhino sets up for The Gore. He charges but Jarrett steps out of the way. Rhino goes for a clothesline but hits the ref. Jarrett swings the guitar at Rhino but Rhino ducks and Gores Jarrett. Rhino has the guitar in his hand. AMW comes out for the distraction. Low blow by Jarrett. Rhino goes to the outside and AMW hits the Death Sentance through the table, that was pretty cool. AMW rolls Rhino back in the ring. The Stroke by Jarrett and that’s all she wrote
Winner- New TNA World Champion, Jeff Jarrett

The GoldDiggers celebrate as we cut to backstage where Team 3-D is beat down and out with AMW leaving evidence

Show Over

Good show, check out At Ringside tomorrow for a recap and so much more. CyA

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