Remote Destination

Apologies off the Top

First off let me apologize to my best friend Jason Torres, for implying that he’s Tracee Ellis Ross’ #1 Fan. He’s not. Y’see Jason and I had been discussing the shagability of the cast of Girlfriends. I was vehemently against placing my “other” best friend anywhere near the vicinity of T.E.R., while Jason wouldn’t rule it out. He sent me some flattering pics of her and that was the foundation for what I wrote two weeks ago;

Maybe it’s because I love comic books and her angular features could give The Joker a run for the money. She does absolutely nothing for me. Here are the images (a href=http://images.villagevoice.com/issues/0238/germ.jpg>here and here) that Jason Torres used to try to convince me that Tracee Ellis Ross is shagable. It’s still not working.

But I can say that with those pics he sent she has moved into a three way tie with Bea Arthur and Abe Vigoda.

I never meant to imply that he wanted to shag. I sent out my heartfelt apologies.

Secondly I want to apologize for a thoroughly confusing column last week. I apparently neglected to place the column in any sort of context (which tends to happen when life is in disarray). Those theme songs that I wrote about last week were my favorite TV Drama Themes, something that I swore I mentioned within the column and actually didn’t.

Which just goes to show you shouldn’t rush mediocrity.

What I Watched Last Week

Actually very little. I’m between three weeks behind (Smallville and one week behind (Nip/Tuck on most of my viewing. Ironically the only show that I’m completely caught up on is Reunion. Fortunately almost everything has been taped and is waiting to be watched. Unfortunately, it’s hours upon hours of television to watch.

Why am I so behind? Basically moving has thrown me completely off track. My roommates and I moved from our apartment into a house. The process began last Thursday and I finally got everything into my room Wednesday.

Our living room still has yet to be set up, which puts a damper on anything that we usually watch together.

The good news is that we’ve all got digital cable in our rooms, so I no longer have to suffer through watching that wacky Canadian programming on The N. But this also means that we’ve grown more distant. So basically it’s win/win.

Inside InsidePulse

I’m pretty sure that most of you are familiar with the fact that we at InsidePulse have a super secret staff only forum. But what you might not realize is that every week after (and in some cases during) Lost that TV Forum is on fire. It can also be an occasionally entertaining read.

So, as opposed to you having to jump through all of the hurdles of becoming an InsidePulse writer, I’ve decided to share with you some of the true jewels of the various Lost threads in our forums, taken completely out of context.

(Naturally the names have been changed to protect identities.)

In response to the 9/28 episode

Sawyer’s #1 FanSawyer is the man. He saves Mike, and now Mike is all “Get off my raft” Screw Mike. Does he realize that, oh, I don’t know, if Sawyer hadn’t BROUGHT HIM BACK TO LIFE that Walt’d be screwed either way.

Mike is kind of an annoying character…last year he acted all messed with Locke. I understand why, but I mean, seriously…dude has some issues. And now he’s freakin’ on Sawyer, and blaming him. I get he’s nuts cause his son was taken, but geez dude, blame Sawyer again and he’ll toss you to the sharks.

In response to the 10/5 episode

Liz Phair’s # 1 Fandid anyone else just climax?

Jack Anthonyin other notes i think it would be great if Jack and Sawyer started fighting over Michellle Rodriguez, ignoring Kate alllowing Hurley to swoop in and get some sweet action.

In response to the 10/12 episode

Minding BusinessAlso, I really, REALLY hate Ana Lucia. Yeah, I know we’re “supposed” to….but this is like Triple H hate here. I want to see Sawyer censored her over before he, well, censored her.

Also, nice twist having Rose’s husband Bernard be a white guy.

Kansas UAlso, it’s nice to see Michelle Rodriguez expand her skills and not play a bitchy chick.

Oh, wait…

Minding BusinessJust off the top of my head, other importnat numerology regarding last night’s episode:

It had been 16 weeks since anybody won the jackpot, and there were 23 tailies (tail end survivors) that survived.

South CarolinaHave you seen this theory before?

4: The 4th letter in the alphabet is D
8: The 8th letter in the alphabet is H
15: If you add 4 + 8 + 15, you get 27 which wraps back to A.
16: 4 + 8 + 15 = 27, and 4 + 8 + 15 + 16 = 43. 27 + 43 = 70 which gives you a R.
23: 16 + 23 = 39, which is M.
42: 4 + 8 + 15 + 16 + 23 = 66, and 23 + 42 = 65. 65 + 66 = 131 which is an A.

In response to the 10/19 episode

Sawyer’s #1 FanI mean, I love the whole cast, but Sawyer’s my top guy, and then I’m in a toss up. I like Jack and Locke and all, but Jin just has this quality. Hurley is cool too, but I think it goes Sawyer, Jin for me right now!

Minding BusinessYou really come to understand how incredibly ensemble this cast is, when there really aren’t many characters — male or female — that you’d wnat dying or leaving the show.

I WroteUm, off the top of my head; Jack, Sawyer, Charlie, Michael, Hurley/Hugo could all die in one fell swoop and I wouldn’t shed a tear or miss them a bit.

His Royal BadnessWait…so who do you like on the show?

I WroteJin is cool, mostly because I can’t understand if he’s whining or providing useful information.

Echo is captivating , but then again I can’t help but wait for him to rape one of his fellow male surviors.

Walt is amazing, because he’s not around enough to annoy me like the others.

Those are my favorites right now.

J.A.M.balayaI think the blonde tailee is a slam dunk, dead broad walking. A cheap death in the context of all the hype that surrounded the intrigue and urgency of the voiceover, “In three weeks…one of these survivors will be lost…FOREVER.”

Sadly the show has been in reruns for a few weeks and the boards have been silent. But rest assured when the liven up again, I’ll relay the info back to you.

Links

Tim Stevens Sheridan recaps the episode I’ve yet to watch.

J.A.M.

Aaron claims that he’s on a business trip this week, and tries to set up the absence of a Bootleg this week on the potential lack of access to the Internet. But don’t worry, as last week’s column is solid enough to hold you over. He properly illustrates why I don’t work out, talks about baby pictures and responds to feedback.

First off Joe has a brand new Caption Contest!. They’re pretty good, but I’m sure that you’ve got one that can top them.

Over at The Film Experience Joe has some coding problems, but is still an amazing read. Check out his fantastic pitches that should all get the green light.

Well, I’m done. Hopefully next week will be a return to form.

Laters