Ten Memorable Characters – George Costanza

“My name is George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.”

“I’m disturbed, I’m depressed, I’m inadequate, I’ve got it all!”

Yeah..those two quotes just about sum up the character of George Costanza! What? Are you kidding me?! Have you see ‘Seinfeld’?!?! That doesn’t even begin to get into the character of George Costanza. In fact…you could probably write a 10-page essay on him. But I don’t have that kind of time or energy. So here goes nothing!

George was Jerry’s neurotic best friend. This guy had so many layers to him…it’s hard to narrow them all down. But basically…you loved to hate this guy. He was not a good person. But he was funny! He would often come up with schemes to get out of doing things in the real world.

George went through girlfriends and jobs like it was going out of style. There would always be an unusual way he would lose either. He was a real estate agent at first, but lost that job because he slipped his boss a “mickey”. He later lost another job because he had sex with the cleaning lady on his desk. His greatest job was with the New York Yankees. But he always wanted to be an architect and he would often pretend to be one.

George somehow got himself engaged when he went through a “midlife crisis” and proposed to the character of Susan Ross. However, she died when George selected some cheap envelopes for the wedding. The envelopes contained toxic glue. George’s reaction was “restrained jubilation”…of course.

If George wasn’t complex enough…he even had an alter-ego. His name was Art Vandelay. George loved velvet! He would drape himself in velvet if it was socially acceptable.

My favorite George Costanza moments: Again…so hard to narrow it down. But here goes nothing. George left his car parked at Yankee Stadium so that George Steinbrenner would think he was there working even when he wasn’t. Other escapades while at the Yankees included: turning the space underneath his desk into an area suitable for napping. This was classic George! How about faking a disability so he can get his own private bathroom at work. Or George developing back problems because of his oversized wallet. Or trying to get money back for a book he brought into a bookstore bathroom. He was forced to pay for it, because the book was “flagged” at all the area bookstores.

He even came up with the GREATEST answering machine message EVER! He sang to the tune of “Believe It or Not”. Here are the lyrics:

Believe it or not, George isn’t at home…
Please leave a message at the beep…
I must be out or I’d pick up the phone…
Where could I be?…
Believe it or not, I’m not home…

Funny quotes? Um..do you have 12 hours to spend listening to them. Here are a few favorites:

“You’re killing independent George!!”

“It’s not you, it’s me.”

“Jerry, just remember: It’s not a lie if you believe it.”

“I’ve driven women to lesbianism before but never to a mental institution.”

“I was in the pool! I was in the pool!” (referring to his very flaccid penis, when spotted nude)

Wait a second…I won’t give away too much, because I can still plug my columns that I write here. I have a Seinfeld Quote of the Week every week when I write up The Weekly Pulse on Fridays. So you can look for more good quotes there, but those were just a few of the AWESOME ones!

Seinfeld is without a doubt one of the greatest sitcoms EVER. The fact that it is still in reruns after 7 years being off the air…proves that fact! And George was the BEST character on the show. He had so much depth…you can only do him justice if you watched every episode of the show. Because you learned something new about George in every episode. You REALLY want to learn about the greatest of George Costanza?! Buy the DVDs! You won’t be disappointed. And now I will end this with another great George quote. This pretty much sums him up again…(HA! I was kidding once more!)

“If you take everything I’ve accomplished in my life and condense it down to one day, it looks decent!”