InsidePulse’s WWE Velocity report

– The NeelDown iMPACT Zone returns this week. I couldn’t do the Primetime Special, but it will be back, so no more e-mails please.

– I’m also trying out a new grading scale this week, instead of the old 5 star method (*1/2 ect), I’m going to try out the old school grading system with the letter grades for all the matches. The NeelDown iMPACT Zones will remain with the star rating system though. So, tell me what you think of that.

– Also, to liven things back up around here, I’m bringin’ back VELOCITY TRIVIA! Although since the last few times you guys didn’t feel like answering the questions about “WWE Velocity”, we’ll go with an off-topic question.

Q. Who was the drummer of The Who?

Remember, first one to e-mail me at Mark.A.Neeley@gmail.com gets special e-mail prize package. It’s true.

Kid Kash v. Brian Kendrick
I’m serioulsy not liking this Kid Kash WWE undefeated run gimmick. It just doesn’t work for me. Kash starts things off with a cocky shove. Spanky comes back with a spear and wails on him. They exchange side headlocks. Kash shoots him off to the ropes, Kendrick comes back with a leaping leg lariat. Kendrick gets a pair of arm drags and then locks in an arm wrench. Kash is unable to fight out of it, and Kendrick whips him to the corner, where Kash Kash springs over the turnbuckle, then goes to the top and flips off landing on his feet. He follows up by slamming Kendrick’s leg into the canvas, setting up a leg lock. Spanky escapes, which makes Kash slide out and grab his leg, then slam it against the ring apron. Kash springboards in with an elbow drop to the leg. Kash applies a modified Figure 4, but Kendrick blocks it. Kash grabs his leg and Kendrick turns it into a monkey flip. Kash quickly though goes back on the offensive and takes Kendrick down. Kash successfuly applies the modified Figure 4, Kendrick gets to the bottom rope. Kash knees the leg and pins for 2. Wow, can you beleive that was the first pin of the match? Kash covers again and gets 2. They brawl. Kash again goes after Kendrick’s leg, but Kendrick revers it into a schoolboy which gets 2. Kash on the apron, Kendrick suplexes him back in the ring, Kash rolls it through for a rollup, but that is countered by Kendrick who rolls through and gets 2. Kendrick with a suplex for 2. Spanky goes for the Sliced Bread #2, but Kash escaped it, dropkicks Kendrick’s legs, then springboards onto Spanky with a moonsault for the victory.
Grade: C — A good step up opening match for Velocity, but certainly lacking cruiserweight action as it took Kash working over Spanky’s leg to keep his boring undefeated streak alive.

Sylvain v. Joey Ryan
When Sylvain did his humorous “Bobby, Bobby” promo with Hardcore Holly on SmackDown he was okay, but these Velocity squashes just don’t do it for anyone. It’s like they’re bringing back Doug “The Bash Man” Basham to Velocity for squashes. Hell, i’d rather see them bring back Lashley. Crowd chants “Joey.” It also didn’t help that Sylvain had to use a chin lock to get the job done here. Sylvain wins via DDT.
Grade: F

The Dicks v. James Jobber & Jonny Jobber
You know The Dicks, right? The tag team who always interferes on SmackDown tag matches? The short guys that have no chance of pumping up the tag division but were signed anyway? I’m not in the mood for this shit.
Grade: F

William Regal & Paul Burchill v. The Mexicools
Crazy and Regal start and tie up. Regal gets a wristlock, then takes him to the mat but Crazy escapes. Apparently that was enough for Regal, and he tags in Burchill. Man I miss Lance Storm at times like these. Burchill wants a test of strenght, and being the evil heel he is, kicks Crazy as a result of it. Crazy hits a monkey flip, then jumps up and hits a hurricanranna, and follows it up with a dropkick for 2. Psicosis tagged in and the Mexicools hit the double team for 2. Burchill tries to slam Psicosis but he slips out of it. Psicosis goes to the ropes where Regal cheaply kicks him, allowing Burchill to hit a knee drop for 2. Burchill tags Regal back in who explodes with brawling offensive and CLUBBING FOREARMS. Burchill gets tagged back in who applies a rear chinlock. Psicosis is able to fight out, but Burchill applies a front facelock and tags Regal back in. Regal hits a Dragon Suplex releasing it for no pin, and tags in Burchill. Man Regal is lazy tonight. As the ref s distracted, the heels double team Psicosis. Burchill sets him up in the ropes and then lifts him up and plants him back down with a brainbuster. Regak comes in off the tag but gets whipped to the oppisite corner by Psicosis who proceeds to make the hot tag to Super Crazy. Crazy dropkicks everyone, then moonsaults Regal which gets 2 as Burchill breaks up the count. Juventud springboards in with a Missile Dropkick and Crazy pins for the 3 count.
Grade: B — a solid main event. Burchill actually looked like he SHOULD this week, doing wrestling moves rather than punches and knees.

I’m half and half on the show this week. It had 2 watchable matches, and 2 throwaways. What did you think? Let me know.

Tonight’s Final Grade: C