The Amazing Race – Recap – Episodes 8-7 and 8-8

OK, so another word about the bottlenecks/bunch-ups/whatever.

I hate them. Last week’s race to find the bus tickets built up tension, and teams took a 600 mile ride that started at about noon and probably ended after midnight. They had to drive another 30 miles or so to find… that the location was closed until the morning, negating leads and ensuring that the next day would have a sprint to the Pit Stop. On one hand, I can understand the need for increasing drama at the end of the leg, but on the other hand it’s not fair to the people that have consistently raced well – it penalizes them for being in the lead. The best example of this is Colin and Christie, who on ‘The Amazing Race 5’ managed to build up a 12-hour lead with their racing savvy (and a Fast Forward), but had it negated due to Race-created “operating hours”.

The beginning of this Race held some promise, as there were less of these bunch-ups. But once again, in the foreign countries, they’ve returned with a vengeance.

Coming in last this week will be…

…but remember, this is a two hour show, so expect this one to be the uberleg, and the reappearance of The Koeghan’s Eyebrow, and at least two bottlenecks.

Standings after 6 legs:

1. Paolo aka NYC (FF, Y) – Surprisingly, they’re starting to grow on me.
2. Linz aka Orange – Could race a bit smarter.
3. Bransen (Illinois) – Not headed to Wally World yet.
4. Godlewski aka Desparate Housewives – No makeup, no bags, no problem.
5. Weaver aka Florida aka Hypocrites – Stop asking God for help. Seriously.
x6. Gaghan
x7. Schroeder
x8. Aiello
x9. Rogers
x10. Black

Last week, teams travelled from Panama City, Panama to San Jose, Costa Rica to Quepos, Costa Rica during their race around North and Central America. They searched for a red coffee bean, walked rope bridges, hauled bananas and accosted a guy named Javier. Megan Linz apparently started growing testicles, the Bransens were more afraid to say “ass” in front of Bill and Tammy Gaghan than Billy and Clarissa Gaghan, D.J. Paolo was acting nice, and the Weavers proved to have zero class. In the end, a poor Roadblock outing by Tammy caused the Gaghans to finish last, and be Philiminated.

Five teams are left. Who will be eliminated… next?

And we are Live on Inside Pulse with The Amazing Race 8. And I’m coming to you from a ‘lovely’ Holiday Inn in Houston, Texas.

Got a question? I’m logged into AOL Instant Messenger as kevwwong.

Episode 8-7 – You Look Ridiculous
We are at Pecao Beach in Quepos, Costa Rica. This was the sixth Pit Stop in an alleged race around the world. Here teams have a chance to rest, relax, and continue the “conspiracy” to oust those “Christian angels”, the Weavers.

The Paolo family, who were the first team to arrive, are the first to leave at 7:27am. They’re to travel by foot to Playa Pueracas, where one team member must swin out to a buoy to get their next clue.

Linz, 7:28am. They have $310 for this leg of the Race

Bransen, 7:29am.

Tony swims out for the Paolos, while Nick swims for the Linzes. Wally robs us of some wet Bransen girl by swimming out. And then he heads the wrong way. Tony and Nick get the clue, but Tony suddenly has some problems, and calls the rescue swimmers to bail him out. Meanwhile, Nick reaches the shore. The Linzes are told to travel 60 miles to La Iglesia, and find the church and an altar boy there. Minds out of the gutter.

Wally gets on shore, as does Tony. All the teams work together to find directions, and three taxis arrive to take them to La Iglesia.

Godlewski, 8:32am. Sharon swims for the ladies.

Weaver, 9am. Rolly decides to swim. Rolly seems to be the only good egg of the bunch. They of course pray for help. For everything.

The lead three teams are in La Iglesia, and there’s a funeral going on. They get the clues, and it’s a Detour – Brush or Barrel

Brush – teams travel 10 miles to a factory and decorate two wheels based on an imprinted pattern.
Barrel – travel 10 miles to a sugar cane plantation, load a tractor with 1 ton(!) of cane, and then transport it 6 miles to a rum factory.

Linzes take Barrel, Paolos go with Barrel, and Bransen take Brush.

Linz and Paolo are at the plantation, and start hauling. Meanwhile, the Bransens driver appears to be lost, but of course things are not always what they seem, and we’ll find out after the

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We’re back, and the taxi driver gets directions from some local cops. Meanwhile, the other two teams are loading, and the Godlewski girls reach the church, and decide to Brush.

Bransens reach the Brush Detour and start paintin’. Weavers reach the church, and decide to do brush. I don’t know if the funeral was done, but they were sure shouting a lot.

Back at Barrel, the Linzes finish, and Tony’s killing himself hauling the cane.

Bransens are still painting as the Godlewski girls arrive. Paolos finish hauling, and take a well-deserved break driving to the rum factory. They sing a ditty in Italian.

Weavers arrive at the Brush Detour. All three teams are painting.

Linzes finish, and now must find the clue inside a marked barrel. They’re told to fly to Phoenix, Arizona and drive themselves to the Bonderay SuperKart school. Fuck, back to America. I smell a potential bunch-up approaching, although it’s still daytime, so there’s hope yet.

Paolos get their clue, and head to the airport.

Bransens finish, and get their clue. Weavers finish, and head out.

San Jose Airport, and find out that the earliest flight is through Atlanta. The Linzes get tickets, arriving at 9:35am the next day, but they close the line before the Paolos can get tickets. They head to Taca. Where they find out that their connecting flight will arrive in Phoenix at 9:20am, 10 minutes ahead of the Linzes flight. The Weavers and Bransens also get tickets.

The Weavers confront D.J. about the Yield, and he tells them straight up that they were the last team, so strategically it was sound. I don’t think Mama Weaver buys it. However, she thinks that they should be friends. And correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t that go against her belief to trust only in her family?

Godlewski girls also get the Taca flight. Linz land in Atlanta. Meanwhile, at JFK, the Godlewski’s reservation seems to have disappeared, leading into the

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Godlewski find out that they CAN get a flight – out of Newark. That’s insane. They reach EWR though, and are off. The other teams also fly out.

Phoenix. Godlewski’s are 45 minutes early, and are off to the Speedway. The second NYC flight arrives, and the three teams are off. Breansens and Weavers head east on I-10. Paolos are lost looking for the cars.

Linzes arrive, and head out before the Paolos. Who, by the way, are arguing again. Must be something about the U.S. that does it to them.

Godlewski arrive, and find a Roadblock. One person must complete a 50 lap go-kart race (with a stop at lap 25). Michelle takes it.

Bransens arrive, and Wally takes it. Weavers arrive, they thank God, Mama takes it, and of course is paranoid and plays the “dad died on the speedway card”.

Michelle finishes 25 laps before Wally even starts. Linda Weaver is off.

Linzes arrive, and Tommy takes it. Linda’s getting lapped. Bransen girls give some honest support to the Weaver kids, and the girls call it “insincere”. They need to learn some f*cking manners.

Paolos arrive, and D.J. takes it. Tommy’s catching up to Linda. Wally hits 25 laps as Michelle finishes. The Godlewski are told to travel 25 miles to the Ranch at Fort McDowell, and the Pit Stop (hey, I’m wrong again, whatta shock). They take 202 East and hope it’s the right direction.

Meanwhile, Tommy cuts it a little too close on a turn, and clips Linda’s front wheel. Which is our cue for an

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Of course, everyone’s fine, and Linda hits her 25th lap. Tommy’s right behind. Godlewski ask for directions, and find out that they headed the wrong way.

Wally finishes the Roadblock, and head out. Linda finishes the task and Tommy’s close behind. They seem to know where they’re going.

Godlewski hit 87 North. Weavers complain about getting passed, and assume that Tony Paolo is in a backhoe. Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

Bransens ask for directions, and get directions to the Fort McDowell Casino. Close enough.

D.J. finishes the Roadblock, and they’re off. This better be non-elimination.

Godlewski reach Fort McDowell, and the Linzes catch up to the Weavers, who catch up to the Godlewski girls. Footrace, and the first team to arrive are… Godlewski!! And they’ve won a trip to Belize. Thankfully, it’s not Arizona.

Team number two is… Weaver, meaning that the Linzes are team number three. Good comeback after more sloppy travel plans.

Bransen and Paolos race, and the Paolos are getting dressed, for potential non-elimination (holy giant granny panties Batman!), but they’re fourth at arrive, and Phil tells them that they “look ridiculous”. Bransens were actually right behind, and the Paolos tell them to put clothes on, just in case. They’ve pretty much been wearing the same stuff the entire race anyways, so I assume that a lot of underwear is being put on. It’s remarkably better than Marion’s granny panties, I tells ya.

They put on their clothes, go back to the mat, and are officially the last team to arrive. And sure enough, it’s non-elimination, and they’re still in this thing!!

The eighth leg is coming up after the

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Episode 8-8
Standings after 7 legs:

1. Godlewski
2. Weaver
3. Linz
4. Paolo
5. Bransen
x6. Gaghan
x7. Schroeder
x8. Aiello
x9. Rogers
x10. Black

We are in Fort McDowell, Arizona, the seventh Pit Stop in a race that managed to snake it’s way back to the U.S. instead of around the world. Anyways, teams had a mandatory rest period, and are ready to travel to the Grand Canyon or something.

Godlewski, who were first to arrive at 11:43am, are set to depart at 11:43pm. They’re told to make their way to the Gateway Airport in Mesa to get their next clue. I’m thinking bunchup.

Weaver, 11:44pm. They’re excited, and they think that they’re different from the other teams. Yeah, the other teams aren’t hypocritical Christians.

Linz, 11:45pm. They note that it’s a crapshoot.

Paolo, who leave during the results for District 140. @#$@#% elections!! They note that they have $67 for this leg of the Race

Bransens have no money.

Teams are looking for the airport, and everyone’s asking for directions.

Bransens stop at the For McDowell casino, and hit people up for money. Which looks a bit like Wally pimping out the girls to get money.

Weavers arrive first, and grab the first ticket. Linz arrive second, and Godlewski third. Paolos are fourth, and Bransen fifth.

4:30am, teams are heading in, and the Weavers find a Roadblock. Team member must complete a 360 loop. In a combat plane. Rolly takes it. “Airbiscuit” Megan goes for the Linz, Sharon for Godlewski, Brian for Paolo and Lauren for the Bransens.

Rolly, Megan and Sharon are first up. They get some fun, and then they get to try. Rolly completes it, as do Sharon and Airbiscuit. And now the Linzes tease Brian a bit. Brian hugs Lauren. Lucky kid.

Weavers read the clue, and are told to travel to Lipan Point in the Grand Canyon. And now it’s time for some frantic driving for a few hours.

At the airstrip, D.J.’s nervous for Brian, who doesn’t complete the loop. And now the Paolos are all nervous. I wonder if the Bransens should be too – I mean, do both people have to finish before they head back down?

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Back in the air, and Lauren fails her 360. Both she and Brian complete the task on their second try. They’re off. The Bransens stop for directions, while D.J. thinks that they should head to the Grand Canyon and ask for directions there. Weavers throw apple cores at the Godlewskis, and the Linzes anticipate a Detour.

Weavers think that it’d be funny to tell the ranger to give the Linzes a complete history lesson. The Ranger sees through that bullshit and tells the Linzes so.

Weavers reach the clue, and find out that it’s just more directions, as they need to travel 130 miles to Paige, Arizona and the top of Glen Canyon Dam (and a tour guide). Godlewski enjoy the view, and they’re off. Bransens reach the clue, and the Paolo’s are stuck in traffic.

The lead three teams reach Glen Canyon Dam, and the tour guides lead them to the clue box and a Detour – Bearing or Bailing taking place at the bottom of the Canyon.

Bearing – using a compass, they must find three similar coloured clues.
Bailing, using their hands and provided tools, they must bail out a submerged boat and carry it past a line.

Linz and Godlewski decide to Bail, and Weavers want to find their Bearings.

Bransen and Paolo are still driving to the Dam. Wally thinks that it’ll come down to the Detour.

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The Linzes find the boats, and they start bailing. Godlewski get there and bail as well. Weavers find their first marker.

Teams are bailing, and the Linzes decide to turn over the boat to speed things up. The Godlewski decide to follow suit.

Travel to Lake Powell and the Pit Stop. The last team to arrive may be eliminated.

Bransens reach the dam and decide to bail. Weavers complete their task, and the Godlewskis are right behind. Bransens start bailing. Weavers ask for directions. Paolos arrive and take Bail. Bransens complete the task and are heading back. Paolos are way behind.

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Paolos finish the Roadblock and get prepared to drive off. Linzes arrive in Lake Powell, get on a boat and are off. Godlewskis are right behind. Weavers are still searching for directions. The Godlewskis pass the Linzes, and finish as team number one!! And they’ve won a travel trailer. Linzes are right behind as team number two. And they hope that the Godlewskis share one of their prizes.

Weavers are team number three, but aren’t happy because the other teams are “classless”. Look in the mirror, folks.

Bransens arrive at the Lake, and are motoring. Paolos arrive, but the Bransens are team number four.

The Paolos are the last team to arrive, and they’ve been Philiminated. They’re all proud of each other. Tony thinks the experience is worth more than a million bucks.

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Next time, Christine Godlewski takes a tumble and Nick Linz makes a giant splash. And it looks like they’re still in the Western States.