Brain Spill: One Minute Man

Short column today. Sorry to my fans. Both of you.

I’m not a slacker, or am I too busy. You know when you have a bad day, and a friend goes to you, and you bitchily reply “I don’t want to talk about it!” Well, that’s the deal with this week.

I’m bummed about Brandon. And I’m not disappointed in how he played, which is probably the suckiest part of it. I think he played his hand very well, and it simply was not enough. I’ll talk about this later.

I’m pissed about Jamie. You all know why. He’s a baby and a whiner, and needs to grow up. He’s a loser, and me talking about it at any greater length would be redundant. If you want my opinion of him, the links to my past columns are at the bottom of this page.

About the Immunity Idol, I was surprised at the apathy about it. Someone was saying about searching for it for an hour. ONE HOUR? Challenges have gone almost 12 hours in the past, and you’re giving up after one? Am I missing something here? You better believe that if my ass was on the line, I’d be searching for that like some frantic maniac. And especially because of the power it possesses. It’s not Immunity for one specific TC, it’s ANY Tribal Council. You don’t even have to tell anyone about it. You let the game play as it will, and when you’re in danger, BAM!

Not that anyone here, myself included, is a Survivor rules library of knowledge, but would be the rule if you found it? Do you just leave it in your bag, and hope no one steals it? Do you give it to the producers to hold on to? I mean, if you find it in the jungle, but move it to camp, and it’s just lying there, doesn’t that mean that someone else could find it because it is still technically different? I’m just thinking.

The Immunity Challenge was of course fun to watch. It speaks volumes that all four Yaxha participated and only two Nakum did. And I see both sides of it. For someone like Rafe or Steph, who clearly would not be a target, it’s not cockiness not to play. It shows they’re smart because they need food to make it through the long haul.

And further about the IC, I always love a good argument. Seeing Bobby Jon and Jamie go at it was just… MMM! Those two young bucks, so violent, so … at each other. That’s a thing of beauty really, especially when one is Bobby Jon and winning, and the other is a scumbag and losing the argument. One thing though, I don’t really understand Bobby Jon’s rationale in defending himself during the challenge. Maybe I’m just used to having a big mouth, but if I talk, I’m going to move my whole head. So I would have been totally shut up. But again, that’s why I’m not on the show.

Yet.

I’m almost done with the torture this week. And before the rundown, I’m going to leave you with my imperfect view of where the players are going. It seems clear that Nakum is running the show for at least another week. But after that, Nakum will have an insurmountable majority, so they could stand to pick off one of their own after that. Do I smell a free-for-all after that? Perhaps. There’s a bunch of different cliques and wild cards all over the jungle, so plays may be shifting all over the place, such that no one is safe. I think this could be best summed up contestant-by-contestant, so let’s get the rundown.

In memoriam:
18- Jim Lynch
17- Morgan McDevitt
16- Brianna Varela
15- Brooke Struck
14- Blake Towsley
13- Margaret Bobonich
12- Brian Corridan
11- Amy O’Hara
*Loser’s Lounge Update* Brian was such a stud last week with the ladies that he’s currently experiencing a lot of chafing. Amy showed up, and everyone is having a great time. Amy’s up there telling jokes, and making everyone laugh. She’s considering starting a Vegas show where she just makes people smile. Come on, who wouldn’t pay for that?! I’ll tell you who, and that’s Mr. Brian Corridan. See, with all the chafing, it hurts him down there to laugh.

10- Brandon Bellinger (5). Poor Brandon. I think Brandon tried all he could for this one, and it was simply not enough. Brandon did a lot by not even doing a lot himself – his minions did his work for him. I love when someone delegates! Bobby Jon was working Steph, Gary was working Rafe and Lydia, and Danni was working Cindy. Up until the third Brandon vote, I thought it was going to be 8-2 Jamie out. I guess none of those four wanted to switch. I can’t say that I blame them for it. All in all, Brandon was one hell of a player. And he is one hell of a guy. Good luck in Loser’s Lounge, B-man.
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9- Jamie Newton (10). Jamie may be in a majority right now. I think that will shift. Perhaps it won’t and his plan works – until the Final Two. Regardless of whether he is or is not in a solid majority voting bloc, there’s simply no way he’ll win. And that leaves him at the bottom.

8- Cindy Hall (7). I truly get no vibes from her. I just see her as being so… Alicia Calaway in All Stars. I think Cindy is along for the ride, and has no clue about it. She’s a total pawn in this game. I don’t even think she has the balls to make a power play. As of now, anyway. Perhaps she can change that, but I doubt it.

7- Bobby Jon Drinkard (8). Deep in my heart, I believe Bobby Jon will be issued his walking papers this week. And it’s something I’m just going to have to accept: a lackluster squad of contestants. Admit it, Bobby Jon is the shining glory of this cast, and anyone who does not worship him should. But I did bump him up this week for good reason. There is still potential that Steph won’t be able to get rid of him. She totally has a hard-on for this fella. Bobby Jon was very smart this week, because he knew it was him or Brandon, and spoke to one person about it: Steph. All it took was a 30-second reason, and she was swayed enough to keep him around. But to clarify, he did not send Brandon down the river. Bobby Jon merely deflected attention away from himself. Anyone knew it would be an issue of someone versus Jamie, and it didn’t matter to Nakum who that someone was. And Bobby Jon did what he could to preserve Brandon. He clearly has some hold over Steph (much more than she has over him), and you never know, it could work out for him. God I hope so.

6- Judd Sergeant (9). Judd climbs a lot this week, simply because, well, he played it right. He was hot hand #2 at Xhakum (by the way, why the hell do teams blend tribe names? Doesn’t anyone know that it sucks and is unoriginal? God people, get your heads out of your asses! Albeit, Xhakum is somewhat catchy, and starts with X, but it’s still dumb), and by shutting up this week, he put Jamie in the limelight. Maybe his past actions will be held against him (or I’m assuming his actions this coming week), but for now, he seems okay. As long as he doesn’t F it up, which we all know he can do.

5- Danni Boatwright (3). I don’t know about the “better than the best female ever” female. She’s on the outs. Granted, she is in the good graces of Gary and Cindy, and Danni is an all around great woman, but I don’t know if it’s going to be enough. I foresee her lasting at least one or two more weeks, and hopefully being involved in a power shift. I certainly see no reason for her to be gone this week, so she’s in the maybe pile for now. And she’s as high as she is because of her past performance.

4- Gary Hogeboom (2). Okay, so he’s on the outs. But he’s on the inner outs. Being an original Yaxha could easily work in his favor, and I think it will. Give him time, as he’s in a small rut for now. But I definitely think he will be part of the upcoming power shift.

3- Lydia Morales (4). Note how she did nothing this week. Such a classic Survivor move. She’s destined for greatness, as Vecepia and Sandra used this nothingness to win the whole damn thing.

2- Rafe Judkins (1). I was impressed by Rafe this week. He showed conscience, which is always awesome. And I still think Rafe will be the deciding factor as to when the coup d’etat will take place. So why the drop? I’m going to dock him a couple points for not making a decision as quickly as he could have. He showed slight signs of indecisiveness. Not a good sign. True, he’s sitting pretty, and no matter where he goes, he’s golden. But minus one for not sticking to his guns.

1- Stephenie LaGrossa (6). Huge jump this week. I don’t see Lydia as the best player, and I had to deduct from Rafe’s score. And I only see these top three as the “key” players at this point in the game, so Steph is #1 by default. But she earned it dammit! She knows exactly what’s going on. She started to distance herself from Jamie and Judd, but not too much. And she’s still obviously in with Gary, and with Nakum. I don’t see anything wrong with this right now. And similar to Rafe, I think she’s going to be very influential in moves that go on. Way to rock out Steph.

And that’s it for now. As Polonius said in Hamlet, brevity is the soul of wit. Looks like this brief column was quite witty then. As always, feel free to expand on my lack of substance, or disagree with me. My email is below.

Until next time, when we discuss the advantages of a battery-operated calculator to a solar powered one, stay cool

~Dora.