Chrononaut Chronicles: TNA Impact — 11/12/05

Here’s a “blog-exclusive” recap of an episode of Saturday night Impact since it was on the end of the tape and I don’t think there would be huge interest on Scott’s blog. I’m basically doing it for my own amusement and anybody who actually reads my blog. Enjoy.

The Chrononaut Chronicles: TNA iMPACT! — Saturday, November 12, 2005

– A video recap of highlights from the TNA Primetime Special airs before the usual Impact opening.

– Monty Brown comes out with a microphone and welcomes us to the Serengeti. The Alpha Male demands a title shot and promises to Pounce Jeff Jarrett when he gets it, but James Mitchell with Abyss interrupts him as they step into the ring. Mitchell compares Monty’s whining to Raven and says that there is one man more deserving of a title shot: Abyss. The Monster and the Alpha Male go face-to-face, but Jeff Hardy makes his way out and gets attacked by Abyss and Monty. Jeff tries to fight them off, but eats a boot from Abyss before Monty tosses him with a fallaway slam. Monty and Abyss then slug it out until Hardy leaps off the top with a double-dropkick. TNA Security flood in to separate the three men.

– A video package highlights the problems between Joe and Daniels during the X Division six-man on the Primetime Special and hypes the Elimination X match for Genesis.

– Samoa Joe vs. Austin Aries

Christopher Daniels is on commentary for this one and Joe glares at the Fallen Angel as he passes by during his entrance. Joe stiff-kicks Aries in the gut, crunches him with the flying knee in the corner, and blasts him with the facewashes and the running facewash as Daniels claims that he will be the leader of his Elimination X team, which he calls the Ministry. Aries catches Joe with a boot to the face and dropkicks his knee before applying a side-headlock, which Joe counters with headscissors. Austin handstands out of it and nails the seated Joe with a nice dropkick, then dropkicks him in the corner for a two-count.

Joe reverses an Irish-whip and jars Aries with the best damn inverted atomic drop in the business and hits the running one-footed dropkick to the face, followed by the senton backsplash. Aries ducks a clothesline and brings Joe down in the crucifix drop, but he can’t lift Joe for the brainbuster so Joe counters by propping Austin up on the top turnbuckle. Joe crushes Aries with the Muscle Buster, locks on the Kokina Clutch, and Aries taps out immediately. Afterwards, Joe stares down Daniels at the announce table as Tenay notes that they will be partners in the Elimination X.

– Shane Douglas is on the scene as Coach D’Amore convinces Larry Zbysko to “Canadianize” the Team Canada/3 Live Kru match at Genesis by putting hockey sticks on poles in every corner. Larry agrees, but adds that Kip James will be the special referee. D’Amore isn’t happy.

– Lex Lovett vs. Kip James

Semi-competitive squash here that sees Lex score a two-count after a backflip elbow in the corner, but Kip finishes him off with the cobra clutch slam. Afterwards, Team Canada surrounds the ring, armed with hockey sticks, until 3 Live Kru come out and chase them off. B.G. & Truth celebrate with Kip in the ring while Konnan stays out on the ramp shaking his head as we go to break.

– Styles Clash Vs. Canadian Destroyer: Petey Williams vs. A.J. Styles

In an interesting booking decision to hype the X Title bout between these two tomorrow night at Genesis, we have this match where the winner will be the first guy to hit his finisher. Styles clotheslines Petey in the corner early on, but Petey rakes his face and grabs him for the Destroyer unsuccessfully. Petey mocks A.J.’s chest-slapping pose and piefaces him, so Styles dropkicks him and goes to run off the ropes, but Coach D’Amore grabs his foot and distracts him, allowing Williams to take control. Styles misses an enzuigiri and Petey goes for the Destroyer, but A.J. escapes and nails the Pele. Styles unloads with clotheslines and the vertical-suplex/neckbreaker, but Petey flips out of the Clash and hits a nice DDT.

Petey sets up the Destroyer, but Styles pushes him to the ropes and Petey drops him with the tilt-a-whirl Russian legsweep. Petey tries the Destroyer again but A.J. blocks it, so Petey dropkicks him in the face. Styles springboards out of the corner with the inverted DDT and hauls Petey up in the Clash, but Petey grabs the ropes so A.J. kicks him until he lets go and brings him to mid-ring, where Petey grabs the ref’s foot to save himself and ends up flipping the ref on his head. D’Amore runs in with the X Title belt, but A.J. ducks and lifts the Coach in the Clash, giving Petey the chance to crack A.J. with the gold. Petey drills A.J. with the Canadian Destroyer as the ref awakens and calls for the bell, declaring Petey the winner.

– A video feature airs on the NWA World Heavyweight Championship, describing the title’s lineage and the legendary superstars who have held it.

– Shane Douglas mediates a “peaceful” meeting between Raven and Zbysko, flanked by TNA Security. Raven suggests that they have a failure to communicate and Larry laughs, so Raven tells a twisted knock-knock joke about ripping off Zbysko’s arm. Larry says he can’t fire Raven, but he can book him anyway he wants (I wonder if Raven and Jarrett had this conversation backstage for real) and explains that if Raven won’t sign his release, he’ll put him through hell starting at Genesis. Raven chokes Larry until TNA Security pull him off and drag him away.

– America’s Most Wanted & Jeff Jarrett vs. Chris Sabin & Lance Hoyt & Jeff Hardy

I still like the “Giggidy Giggidy Gail” sign in the crowd. We go to break before the opening bell because this is the main event. Why can’t they do that these days? Just to show how far TNA has come in terms of production in the past year, the graphic advertising Genesis tomorrow night takes up literally half the screen. Sabin hits a leaping forearm in the corner and tags Hoyt, so James Storm scrambles to his corner and tags out to Chris Harris, who piefaces the big man and pays for it with a clothesline and a sideslam for two. Harris knees Hoyt in the gut and tags Jarrett while Hoyt tags Hardy, who floors the new NWA Champion with a flying clothesline off the ropes, only to be clotheslined from the apron by the Wildcat.

Planet Jarrett work over Hardy with teamwork and frequent tags to get their cohesiveness over for the Genesis six-man, until Hardy finally lands the Whisper In The Wind on AMW and makes the hot tag to Hoyt, who cleans house on the NWA World Tag Team Champions and nails Jarrett with the big boot. Sabin makes the blind tag and springboards in with a double-dropkick on AMW, then decks Jarrett with an enzuigiri as Lance clotheslines AMW over the top. Hardy charges and leaps off Hoyt’s back, barely clearing the top rope before he lands on AMW at ringside. Hoyt follows out with a slingshot plancha on AMW while Jarrett misses a guitar shot and Sabin scoops him up for the Cradle Shock.

However, Jarrett slips out and goes for the Stroke, but Sabin escapes and kicks AMW off the apron as he plants the NWA World Champion with the tornado DDT for a near-fall. Sabin goes to the top but Gail Kim pulls his feet out, crotching him on top as Jarrett climbs up and Strokes him off the turnbuckles for the 1-2-3. Afterwards, AMW handcuff Hoyt to the rope and hold Hardy up as Jarrett prepares the guitar, but Rhino roars down and the heels bail out. Team 3D appear on the ramp to cut off their exit and all six warriors brawl around ringside as a video package hyping Genesis closes the go-home show.