Brain Spill: Marlins and Tuna

Life happens. It’s just something that occurs, and you have to deal with. Nothing too bad has happened with me, so don’t you two fans be overly concerned. Life just got in the way of me producing a meaty column this week, let alone a column on time.

Not that I would have had too much to say anyway. Last week’s episode sucked. Thus, it continued the streak of memorable characters being booted. The best three characters of the season were the past three voted out. I can’t help but interject as a fan, and say how bummed I am. Oh well.

So without further ado, time for the rundown. This past episode was so blah, that I would not have had anything substantial to comment on. For this week’s rundown, it’s two-fold. I’m ranking the players on how they’re playing the game, and the likelihood of them winning. This week’s rankings are a combo of what I just said, as well as where I think they will finish. Let the controversy begin (it’s on, bitch!)

Too bad no one reads my column, otherwise that threat might have been meaningful.

Poor Dora.

In memoriam:

18- Jim Lynch
17- Morgan McDevitt
16- Brianna Varela
15- Brooke Struck
14- Blake Towsley
13- Margaret Bobonich
12- Brian Corridan
11- Amy O’Hara
10- Brandon Bellinger.
*Loser’s Lounge Update!* Brandon showed up late at night after being booted. The three young girls were so distraught that they all gave him a sympathy lay. Together. Brianna, Morgan and Brooke all decided to save a horse and ride a cowboy. My man is the man!
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The Jury Junction: (sorry, you come up with a place that begins with a J)

9- Bobby Jon Drinkard (7). My gut was right about him, but for the totally wrong reason. Bobby Jon played a great game this week, to the point where he was not bound for the Junction. He was classy in how he reacted to Jamie’s schmooz. And he was very smart, by talking to Jamie about Steph. Steph could quite possibly waltz through this game, and Bobby Jon did his best to make sure his best friend was a possible target. That’s gameplay right there. But Bobby Jon’s crucial error is that while he was not the #1 choice for the boot, he didn’t do enough to get out of #2. Gary whipped it out at Tribal Council (gross!), and Bobby Jon had to be the next out by default. Poor guy. Now he’s all alone at the Junction, and we get to see him every week glaring at the people who kicked his ass out. But don’t be fooled, if Steph’s in the Final Two, you better believe he’ll do everything in his power to make sure she wins. Pure gentleman, this Mr. Drinkard.
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8- Gary Hogeboom (4). Talk about cases of extremely bad luck and extremely good luck. He flat out tells someone that he’s voting WITH them, and it gets interpreted as voting FOR them. That just plain sucks, especially because it started the cascade. People now notice Gary, and want to get rid of him as soon as possible. Gary was a great player this week, especially because he was able to see through Judd’s lie. Why else would Judd be looking up? And that made Gary the luckiest person of the week, because he found the small idol. And it bought him another week. But I have a feeling that all it did was just that – one more week. All the “we have to get rid of Gary” talk was shut up temporarily because they could not get rid of him. But I think that if anything, this shows he’s a power player, and people will want to vote him out even more this next week. By the way, did Gary throw the challenge that was about throwing accuracy, or was it an accident, or just bad fate? Just a thought.

7- Jamie Newton (9). Still in power. But if not for the immunity this past week, he easily could have been booted. I think the rest of the team notices that he may not be needed/wanted in camp as much anymore, so he could be going home soon. I hope so, because I sure as hell didn’t buy his BS with giving everyone a better meal.

6- Cindy Hall (8). There are two bigger fish to fry first. And once those fish are out of the pan, this useless player will be placed in the same trash can as the guts of the two aforementioned big fish. Can someone please tell me what she’s worth at Xhakum? I’d love to find out.

5- Danni Boatwright (5). I put Danni here because I worked from both sides, and ended up here in the middle. I think that the tribe will want to clear Xhakum camp of Jamie and Gary, then Deadweight Cindy. Once everyone else is left, they’ll realize that Danni just doesn’t simply fit into their plan of world, er, Nakum Domination. She’s got a lot to offer, but not to those in charge. She’s lacking noticeable ‘hey, vote me out!’ characteristics, but I think when it all comes down to it, there won’t be a major shift in power, so this cat will be on the outs in due time.

4- Lydia Morales (4). I think Lydia is in similar company to Cindy in that I have no clue what her function is. But due to the fact that Lydia is more likeable, and she’s closer to the power, she may not end up in the periphery until a few weeks from now.

3- Rafe Judkins (2). Rafe’s doing great. And I should probably give him #1, just because he is so well off. He knows that Jamie needs to go soon, which bodes well for his “I’m a good Survivor player” points. I think Rafe will be an integral part of whatever alliance may fall around him, or that he chooses to make. I just see in him having a great plan, executing it well, and tripping at the end. My guess is something Jenna Lewis stupid, and committing an accident in the final Immunity challenge. Rafe is a totally likeable guy, and I think it may burn him at the end.

2- Judd Sergeant (6). The player of the week. Why, you ask? Judd won the reward, and picked the two best candidates to join him for dinner. Bobby Jon was a way to show everyone that Judd can be a good guy, but picking Stephenie was a way to show his allies that they are still important to him. Judd’s not going anywhere for awhile. We’re past the phase of him being the most hated in the jungle. And people chuckled when he puked in their bedroom. Did you see how people loved it when he got tanked and started tripping over the place? He is not the douche bag he once was; he simply didn’t like Margaret. Judd is really close with Steph, and together they’ll show up at the end laughing at all the fools who believed them.

1- Stephenie LaGrossa (1). Yep folks, I not only think she’s the best player currently in the game, I think she’s the clear-cut choice for Sole Survivor. She’s at the nucleus, controlling everything that goes on at Xhakum. And the beauty of this is that no one, save for Bobby Jon, is aware of her prowess. I truly think she’s going to be at the Final Two with Judd, simply because they work well together and are in power. And if it comes down to a jury vote between the two, come on, Steph’s got it in the bag. It almost seems too easy. At least for us in the audience. Did anyone out there think anyone else was going to win Palau but Tom? No, and no one should have any reason to think Stephenie won’t become the next millionaire of the bunch. In fact, I’m going to be bold and say that I will continue to keep Stephenie in this top spot until something extremely drastic happens. And I think it ain’t gonna happen.

So that’s that. Sounds rather bold, huh? Feel free to disagree, because I love emails.

Until next time, when we discuss clever ways to stuff a turkey (gross!), stay cool.

~Dora