The Prodigal Daughter Returns begins with Lorelai coming home to a very excited Luke, and with good reason: The house, it’s done.
Luke: You’re not happy
Lorelai: I’m happy and sad. Haven’t you ever been with a woman?
Lorelai babbles on about wanting a “we’re done” party, complete with going-away presents and pizza. But what she really wants are the distractions that a house in the middle of renovations is famous for. To take her mind off Rory, and possibly the pressure of moving forward with Luke. And she doesn’t like the new/old bedroom furnishings, either.
Back at the Gilmores Senior estate, Rory’s reached the end of the line with the grandparents. She and Emily are barely on speaking terms, and Richard returns home to find Logan’s friends moving her out. Do these guys ever take a break from being jerks?
Sookie’s bored of the Dragonfly menu. But the subject quickly changes when she senses Lorelai’s not thrilled with certain new touches to the bedroom.
Lorelai: He has turned his whole life upside down for me…so can’t I just give
him this one little thing?
Sookie: Yes, you can!
Lorelai: No, I can’t.
At Luke’s diner, Lane can’t escape eye contact with Lorelai, and spills that Rory has moved out of the grandparents house and is crashing at her
place. Lorelai takes it in stride.
Zach is even ruder than usual in this episode, dropping many not-so-subtle hints for Rory not to get too comfortable. “Lane’s casa es su casa, apparently…” Rory’s almost too busy to care, however, because she’s got references. This poor
Mr. Wultz is going to be sorry. And Rory knows that Lorelai knows.
Jackson & Sookie come over to Luke & Lorelai’s for dinner, and to celebrate the finished product.
But Sookie has only one room on her mind: “Boys are busy, the chicken’s in the oven. I wanna see the creepy granny bed!” And what she sees she can hardly believe. “Luke loves this furniture. Luke loves this furniture? Has he seen it?”
A particularly strong effort from Sookie.
Then the phone rings, the machine picks up, and it’s Christopher. Lorelai panics. Luke freaks. Lorelai wants to talk about it. Luke doesn’t, at least in front of Jackson & Sookie: “We’re not fighting, yet…”
What follows is an excrutiatingly terrible dinner party:
Jackson: Did I miss something?
Sookie: Always honey
Luke: I have no trouble telling someone something, no matter how uncomfortable it
may make them
Lorelai: Wow. They’ll be debating the subtle complexities of that comment for years
Luke: I have a right to expect a little honesty from my fiancÃƒÂ©!
Lorelai: Alright, you want honesty? I hate that bedroom set! It’s old and creepy and
I hate it!
Luke: You told me you loved it
Lorelai: I have absolutely no memory of coming to your storage unit five years ago
and telling you I loved that furniture
Ouch. Now I know this was a pretty heated exchange, and Lorelai does apologize afterwards (sort of). But part of what she said, ridiculing Luke’s vivid memory of numerous past meetings, was particularly harsh. She didn’t hate it so much when Luke remembered their first meeting.
I was disappointed in myself that I missed the Desperate Housewives dig the first time around. I can’t stand that show. But I was also too shook up by Luke & Lorelai’s fight to care.
Luke: I’m never going to be okay with having Christopher in your life…No secrets, that’s the only way it’s going to work…
Following those ominous words, the episode takes a strange turn (and not for the better)…
Rory pays an extremely annoying visit to the Stamford Eagle Gazette. She sticks around ’til she drives Mr. Wultz insane, and inexplicably gets a job.
Then a girl named April shows up at the diner, and I think it’s Luke’s long-lost daughter
wearing a large pink helmet. No secrets, remember? Gotta say I saw this coming from last week’s coming attractions. Quick thought: Gilmore Girls is now well into its sixth season. It’s probably got another season or two left. Why is this necessary now? It’s not like the writers have been short on stories to tell lately. Cute girl. Bad timing. Wrong show.
Lorelai gets a frantic call from her father that Emily’s missing, but not to worry – she’s just buying a plane. Lorelai finds her in the cockpit, and Emily proceeds to break down about failing Rory and being blamed for Rory’s current state of affairs in the process. Sorry Emily, you won’t get much sympathy here.
Luke decides to drop by his long-lost daughter’s science fair, and a very awkward exchange ensues. Yet I’m not sure whether it’s Luke the character or Scott Patterson the actor who seems more uncomfortable.
Then we have Lorelai seemingly uncomfortable in the new house, until Rory calls and announces that she got a job, she’s back at Yale, and she’s coming over – all in one breath. And the Gilmore girls are officially back together. Unfortunately,
the feeling is somewhat lost amidst the other curious goings-on.
So Lorelai whips into the diner to tell Luke the great news and ask for extra fries. And, oh yeah, we can get married now. Rory’s back!