Who's Who in the DCU

Tim, I’m kind of looking forward to Absolute Crisis on Infinite Earths. How about you?

Eh. As I have said before here and elsewhere, while I have much respect for the scope of Crisis and what it accomplished, judging it purely as story always leaves me cold. There are some emotional beats to it, but overall it just does not resonate with me in the least.

I think it is cool they are doing an Absolute edition though for all those who do love it. If any book (besides Watchmen) deserves it, it is certainly this one.


Links

IP Music has some great things on the horizon.

IP Movies should give more attention to Cameron Crowe.

IP Games has PS3 news.

IP Figures makes my mouth water every week.

IP TV Recaps and spoils.

IP Sports is full of dress codes, MVP’s and T.O.

Moodspins is all over the map. .

IP Culture slays me, particularly The Human Guinea Pig.

Our DC Forums is Babospectacular! Seriously, you’ve got to check the place out.

Tim, you wouldn’t have anything to link, would you?

You know what Mathan, I do not think I do. Check back with me next week. I’ll make sure my bag is overflowing with joyous linkage gifts. Or I’ll at least have a few.


What I Read Last Week

100 Bullets #66 – So did not see that coming. Another stellar issue of a great book.

Y The Last Man #39 – Dude, what an ending! And the preview was pretty cool too.

Infinite Crisis #2 – I fanboy’d out over this one. The Perez/Ordway throwback was killer.

DMZ #1 – I don’t know about this book. I’m not quite sure how I feel about it yet. It’s…interesting.

Hawkman #46 -Great if only for coining the term “Omactivated.”

Teen Titans #29 – Personally I think that Drake had it coming. He’s getting all uppity and whatnot. He needed to be taken down a peg.

Why must you always front when it comes to Mr. Drake. Why not just accept that he is, and always will be, the bomb diggity om?

Aquaman #36 – I don’t believe he’s gone. Good issue though, with some great art.

Action Comics #833 – Clearly my pull list has yet to be updated.

You poor bastard. Why continue to torture yourself?

JLA #122 – Man I hope Supergirl dies. Wait, did I say that out loud?

Either that or I imagined you saying it. Either way, I agree. Entirely.

Son of Vulcan #6 – Great teen hero book. Beatty slays me with his writing. “One Year Later”? Hilarious. I would love it if Miguel joined the Titans. I hope this book gets a chance to shine.


Words from Alumni

“As with the other Soldier books, I can’t wait for the next issue. I’m also anxious to see how this ties in with the other minis.”

I was totally not into any of the books that much (except maybe Guardian), but then I sat down and read every single one that has come out so far for a sidebar I was doing and…wow, what a difference. Read altogether in one or two sittings, it just reads so much better. Even Shining Knight, which was the weakest by far, was neat to pick out the references to the other minis and place it in the overall story. If you’re dropping money on these anyways, I recommend giving them all a read start to finish even now at the halfway point.

“Sadly, they have already missed their chance this go round as Devil’s Due now possesses the Transformers rights.”

Actually, IDW has the Transformers rights. That’s two weeks in a row, Stevens, step up your game.

“Cosmic Odyssey #1-4: This isn’t a Batman story alone, but he really shines in this.”

Kudos for throwing this one in. Unorthodox but right on the money choice. I’ll throw in the similarly obscure Secret Society of Super-Heroes Elseworlds as a neat sorta-Batman tale (and a neat story in general).


Onto the column.

Shoutout to Immy who’s correctly placed the lyric on two separate occasions and has yet to ask a question. Along with Immy, Albrecht, Z-Man, Nalydpsycho, and Colin all placed the lyric.

That’s what I like to see people. Way to step up your game!

Albrecht placed the lyric and his clone asked this question

Whatever happened to the Luthor clone that was running around in the 90’s? You know the one with flowing red hair? Could this Luthor be the one running around right now or am I totally off base?

Well, you’re not totally off base, but your theory is a bit off.

Really quick recap: Lex Luthor had cancer and cloned himself a new body (nifty hair included!) around his central nervous system, and masqueraded as his own son. But then he caught that nasty clone virus (which is like ten times more dangerous than the “bird flu”) that was going around in the 90’s and wasted away. He tried to destroy Metropolis but was caught. While awaiting trial he made a deal with Neron, got healthy again, and pinned the crimes on an “evil” clone created to take the fall.

Phew.

I’m betting that the Lex who’s running the Society is the Lex from the Crime Syndicate’s Earth. That’s why he’s making a big deal about how the “heroes” are behaving and he’s doing the mass recruitments of people that he kind of worked with battling the Crime Syndicate.

But that’s just my theory. Of course there’s always the possibility that Lex Luthor is indeed MOCKINGBIRD! Right Tim?

Umm…right, Mathan. Lex (one of them anyway) is Mockingbird. Villains United covered that already. I know you really wanted it to be Dr. Sivana, but sometimes we do not get what we want. Accept Lex as Mockingbird and begin the healing now, before it is too late.

As for Society’s Lex being the Lex that tangles with the Crime Syndicate, I like the idea, but I think Society Lex is too violent to be him. Crime Syndicate Lex is arrogant, certainly, but murderous (see what he did/tried to do to Pariah)? I do not think so. Too bad though, because I think it is a cool idea.


Colin’s cashed in his correct lyric guess for the rush of a Saturday morning cartoon

With DC’s success with animated versions of JLA and Teen Titans, what do you think are the possibilities of seeing a Legion cartoon?

Do you think they could do a huge rotating line-up of Legionnaires, like the current JLU, or a smaller core like the first couple seasons of JL?

Would they do it kiddie, like with Titans?

Sadly based on what I’ve read, in such reputable places as message boards around the web, it appears that the chances of seeing a Legion cartoon are pretty much nil.

I think that the show would be daunting for several reasons. First, as you mentioned is the huge cast. In order for the show to be accepted by Legion fans it’d have to include a massive amounts of characters. But that would require such an incredible degree of storytelling, to flesh out the characters, that it’s would probably overwhelm any thing the actual creators of the show would want to do.

Whoever made the show would want to make it kiddie, like Teen Titans, to attract a younger audience, but what would require watering down the depth of storytelling necessary to make the concept work. It’s like a catch-22.

However if you combined the concepts of Pokemon and Legion, you’ve got a surefire hit. Little kids tossing spheres filled with legionnaires, how can that miss? “Chameleon, I choose you!”

Tim, you’re a master of revamping, can you see a scenario where your beloved Legion of Super Heroes becomes a successful cartoon?

The key here is successful by who’s terms? If we are talking successful by the diehards’ standards, probably not. Even Justice League Unlimited has achieved that level of success. Only Batman the Animated Series and, to a lesser extent, Superman have managed to do that.

However, if we are defining “success” as a product that many people watch and enjoy and one that helps sell toys, freezer pops, etc. then yes, I believe the potential for success is there.

They can kid-ify it (as in Teen Titans) with a small cast and occasional guest stars or follow the JLU model and have a massive cast with only a handful of characters being in the spotlight for any given episode. Either approach has the potential to hit pay dirt.


Nalydpsycho too is a master of guessing lyrics. Sadly, he has parlayed that gift to ask about enemies of rubber

Does Plastic Man have any sort of Rogue’s gallery to speak of? And if so, can you tell me about the most prominent of his enemies?

Ouch.

Back in his 1960’s/1970’s series Plastic Man had an impressive string of foes who only made one or two appearances. A foe by the name of Dr. Dome plotted against Plas, and could probably be considered a rogue.

I even looked up some of his early appearances, and I found again that he didn’t really have any repeat business in terms of foes. So while I could run down a list of probably a hundred foes that Plas has gone up against, I wouldn’t consider them “rogues” because they never really returned. And again, how do you determine “prominence” among foes with only one appearance?

Tim, how would you answer that question?

Probably by stuttering a bit and then, flummoxed, attempt to distract the person that asked with a magic trick or saucy joke of some sort. If that failed, I’d claim I heard Janelle calling me and walk away. Or I might kill the person that asked me. I have temper issues when I feel cornered.

But, that’s a story for another time perhaps.


Z-Man knew the tune, but did not possess the sense to not ask about Lobo

Do you think there is a place for LOBO in the DC universe. Not the parody version of Lobo that ran rampant with mini-series after ridiculous mini-series (and also an ongoing series), but the character that can pop up in books from time to time and be a legitimate threat?

I do think that the stage is currently being set for such a thing to occur. I find it hard to believe that DC would set up two space books (the upcoming Green Lantern Corps title and the alleged “other” title) and not plan on having Lobo appear eventually.

The best way to do this is making him a bounty hunter again. His only focus should be on getting money. That’s it. He was neutered by giving him allegiances (either by Dox’s deception or otherwise). He was cool in the episode of Superman because he was monster.

I think that since Guy Gardner is in space Lobo should hold a grudge against him. Now, I wouldn’t have Lobo actively seek a fight with Guy, but he should see it as an added bonus for taking a gig. Who doesn’t want to see Guy and Lobo tussle?

Or maybe Lobo takes a gig and it requires him to go after a new recruit of the GLC? Clearly the Corps isn’t going to give up one of their own, and clearly Lobo isn’t going to stop until he gets his man. And heaven forbid he gets his hands on a power ring. I’m guessing that this scenario would end a bit differently than Lobo’s run in with Jack T. Chance.

I’m also guessing that the alleged “other” space book will involve heroes. I’d imagine that Lobo could come looking for someone who’s being protected by Adam Strange. Lobo doesn’t recognize Rann’s jurisdiction and Adam wants him to stand trial on Rann. Again you’ve got conflict that could spawn a rivalry.

And wouldn’t it be a shocker if in one of those eventual rematches, Lobo shows up being deputitized by L.E.G.I.O.N.?

Now that’s just how I’d reintroduce Lobo into the DCU. He doesn’t really work on Earth, unless you have him going after Hawkman or Hawkgirl for their actions in Rann/Thanagar War. Other than that you’re trying too hard. Obviously I’m just a guy writing a column, so I’d bet a real writer could come up with some better scenarios to reintroduced Lobo.

Tim, care to offer your two cents on being Lobo back into the fold?

Could those two cents be: “Don’t.” If so, I’d like to choose that.


Robb L is a gold digger

In their prime who is was richer Bruce Wayne or Lex Luthor?

Really really tough question.

First off, couldn’t either of them “in their prime” be considered the richest, because they were in their prime?

Semantics aside, on one hand, Bruce comes from “old money”, which would seem to give him an edge. However Lex has money from criminal enterprises, which is sure to be an impressive sum.

You also have to fact in the amount of money that they spent on their endeavors. Does Bruce spend more protecting Gotham than Lex spends trying to destroy Superman?

I think that I’m going to side with Bruce on this one. My rationale is that he does come from “old money” and thus has had more time to accrue more money. Lex has only been getting money for his lifetime. Bruce inherited his ducats.

I think that Bruce is a “Getty”, while Lex is a “Ted Turner” or “Donald Trump.” Now you may point out Bill Gates as a “new money” type of guy, but Lex hasn’t really introduced anything into the DCU that’s universally necessarily.

So, yeah, I’m sticking with Bruce, with Lex coming close second.

Tim, agree or disagree?

I believe we tackled this question once before and we came to roughly the same conclusion. Bruce beats Lex in the earnings and cash on hand departments is my feeling. In addition to what you mentioned, do not forget that Lex was President for a few years. While a Presidential salary is nothing to sneeze at, it is nowhere near what he was earning for being CEO of his own company. So, for those years, his portfolio took a hit. Plus, the stock he no doubt retained from his company would have gone down a fair bit after his being forced out of office/wearing a green battlesuit/being crazy incident in Superman/Batman.


John Babos knows what’s inside matters, but damn…he just loves the green.
Who are the top 10 richest in the DCU? Not 4 Mathan… 10.
Ollie up there?

Babos, what the hell? What kind of question is that? Do you have any idea how difficult this is to answer?

What follows is pure speculation, with really no basis in merit.

1. Bruce Wayne – to be consistent

2. Lex Luthor – ditto

3. Ra’s al Ghul – because he’s got to have copious amounts of wealth.

4. R.J. Brande – sure this former future Legion financier may have more credits than Wayne has dollar, but a 30th Century to 21st Century conversion chart places him firmly in the #4 slot.

5. Steve Dayton – because this is his entire claim to fame.

6. Ted Kord – I’m tossing Ted a bone here. He was getting back on his feet, and I’m sure he had a substantial life insurance policy.

7. Max Lord – Max was cunning, but based on his obsession, I think that he probably invested quite a bit of his funds into Checkmate!, thinking he’s get it back by filing an expense report. Sadly he met up with Wondy before the end of the month and thus never filed it.

8. Ollie Queen – He’s not had a chance to spend his newly inherited fortune. But he’s also got to buy a new house. And I hear that HIV drugs are pretty expensive.

9. The Chief – This guy’s got to have some loot. He’s the master mind of an entire team. He funds all sorts of stuff. He’s a rich dude.

10. Geo Force – this guy is a Monarch. He’s got lots of wealth at his disposal. But it’s royalty wealth. Thus he’s at #10.

Tim, what do you make of my list?

I like it, I don’t love it. I’d probably put Ra’s first actually. You gotta figure if Wayne is old money, Ra’s is still older money. Plus, when’s the last time he filed taxes anywhere? My guess, 300, maybe 400 years ago.

Also dubious, from my perspective, is the inclusion of Ted Kord. That feels like a pity vote to me. Do not get me wrong, it is sad that he died, but pretending he was more flush than he was won’t bring him back. It is a nice fantasy, but it just is not real.

Otherwise, top notch job.


Neil returns to the good ‘ol days of just being scared about Y2K

What happened to Emil Hamilton between “Our Worlds at War” and now? I know he turned into a villain of sorts due to his Y2K enhanced parts thanks to the cybermoths (I think) who had something to do with the Futuresmiths (I think).

Poor Hammy. Hamilton lost an arm when Lex attacked Metropolis. But he got a nifty prosthetic. But when Metropolis was upgraded, his arm was upgraded too. Unfortunately he became enamored with the B13 tech and he created the alter ego “The Overmind” who kidnapped kids and made them Cybermoths. He used the Cybermoths to battle for the control of the B13 tech.

When he was found out Hamilton claimed that he was being controlled by his fake arm. But when Supes incinerated it, Hammy ran off.

Now I ask you Tim, would an innocent man run?

Sure he would, if he understood the general inequalities of our justice system; that money is power and there is no such thing as a “fair trial” in this age of the 24 hour news cycle. Also, he had his arm incinerated. I don’t care what that arm was telling him to do, that has got to be something that freaks you out a little.

He’s recently appeared with two fleshy looking hands and on Supes side again, but sadly lacking the explanation for how the status quo was returned.

Tim, why is everyone talking about Infinite Crisis when the Hammy mystery is much more thrilling?

Brilliant misdirection on the part of DC. Just when we think IC is all about Earth 2 Superman and a hole in the center of the galaxy, bam, here comes the story of “Hammy” and Nightwing, the TRUE Identity Crisis killer.

You heard it here first folks.


Neil likes to recall DC’s…lesser choices

Enginehead. I remember the title coming out, but I don’t remember hearing that it finished…was it in continuity?

That begs the eternal question; is a book in “continuity” if no one ever refers to it ever?

Enginehead was a book about six characters (Emil Hamilton, Rosie the Riveter, Brainstorm, Dr. Cyber, Automan and brand spanking new character Ford Carrado) who merged to become a single entity. Notice how all of the familiar names are of criminals? Well Ford is a former crook too. Apparently some guy called The Mechanic took the “best” aspects of these criminals and merged them into Enginehead a force for good.

The book did finish, just ahead of schedule. It was supposed to be an eight-issue mini, but got the axe with #6 being the final issue released. No resolution, no wrap up.

Since we’ve seen Emil and Rosie since the book ended, I’m guessing that it’s not “in continuity” until someone explains how those two divested themselves from Enginehead.

What’s funny is that I can vividly remember not picking up Enginehead #1. I’m a fan of McKeever’s art, but I wasn’t really sold on the concept.

Tim, do you have any comment on Enginehead or any related horror stories?

Wow…Enginehead…just…wow. I can remember first covering it in News and Views and either thinking or writing that this was one I was interested in. I mean, why not. The concept was off the wall, it had early cancellation written all over it, and I tend to love those books. Then, it hit the shelves. I cannot say for sure, but I’m almost positive that when I touched it, I heard shrieking and moaning; horrible otherworldly sounds seemingly emanating from nowhere. It burned to the touch and I instantly felt my skin go cold and clammy.

I put it right back on the shelf and never looked back. I count it amongst some of my best decisions.


Beej9181 wonders about DC’s master plan

When Superman was killed/put into a serious coma, was it always intended to bring him back (relatively) quickly, or did that happen because of fan backlash or criticism or something like that? (Ignoring, of course, the rule that no one ever really dies in comics, ever.)

I think that the plan was to bring Supes back as quickly as possible, while still telling a complete story. His death did have some ramifications in the DCU and those were explored. It also created the faux four who masqueraded in his absence.

But obviously Supes was going to return, and it had to be quick because his comeback mullet had a really short shelf life.

Tim, didn’t you adopt the “Lex Luthor” because you had previously sported the Kryptonian mullet?

Actually, I only attempted the mullet. It was clearly my better and I was forced to abandon the endeavor after only a week or so. It was a lesson for me not to overextend my hair’s natural abilities. Some, they can rock a mullet, even one aggressive enough to reach “Kryptonian” standards. I was not one of the few fortunate individuals. It is, perhaps, the hardest thing I’ve ever had to admit to myself.


George M explores the “Batman cannot be beat” principle a little deeper

If Batman can beat anyone given enough time, why not others that are as smart and with as much resources, like Lex Luthor?

Yeah, I don’t know about that. Lex likes to delegate. He’s the type to hire folks as opposed to getting his hands dirty. He’s also a bit too obsessed with Superman. Lex’s has other people do the hard stuff and he takes the credit.

Bruce, on the other hand, does everything himself. He’s also insatiable in his quest for knowledge. He’s all about weakness and he’s paranoid. Lex isn’t really worried about anything. He surrounds himself with protection rather than protecting himself.

Plus Batman does have more access to heroes than Lex does, thus he knows more about their weaknesses.

What’s kind of ironic is that Lex had to strive to get where he is, yet now he’s content and fat (figuratively) while Bruce had everything handed to him and he’s more driven than ever.

Tim, am I selling Lex too short?

I do not think so. It is not as if Lex does not have the capacity to do it, it is just not his primary concern or motivator. For him, it really is Lex v. Superman and everything else is background noise. He might enjoy or indulge in screwing with other heroes now and again, but the reasons always lead back to his one true mission: besting Superman.

Plus, and this is a big one, Batman is in peak physical condition. His body is a lethal weapon. Lex is in decent shape, but he’s no martial arts master nor has any desire to be. In order to be able to best everyone, you will need to have physical abilities and I suspect Lex’s would never cut it.


Wolverine0712 just needs someone to make it all make sense.

Over in your Marvel companion, there are regular updates on the House of M. Could you give us that didn’t read the 5 minis (VU, DOV, etc) a quick review of what happened?

Quick being the operative word.

Villains United – Lex gathers villains together to unite against the heroes, while Mockingbird forms a team to oppose Lex’s society. The kicker; Mockingbird is actually “our” Lex Luthor, meaning the other Lex isn’t. Original Crisis Alums Pariah and Lady Quark appear.

The OMAC Project – Wonder Woman tries to find out who murdered Ted Kord, while Batman tries to figure out how he lost control of his spy satellite. Max Lord manipulates Superman into beating Batman into a coma, with Wonder Woman killing Max to free the controlled Kryptonian. Upon Max’s death the aforementioned satellite becomes sentient.

Rann/Thanagar War – Um Rann and Thanagar have a war? Adam Strange, Kyle Rayner, Hawkman, Hawkgirl Hawkwoman the Omega Men, Starman and L.E.G.I.O.N. team up to stop Onimar Synn from getting a teleportation device that could spell the ruin of the universe. They do, but the war wages on.

Day of Vengeance – The Spectre tries to rid the Earth of Magic, with the aide of Eclipso. The Shadow Pact (comprised of Black Alice, Detective Chimp, Blue Devil, Ragman, Enchantress, Nightshade and Nightmaster) try to stop them. Captain Marvel goes toe to toe with the Spectre. Eclipso ends up in orbit around the sun, Shazam dies and the Rock of Eternity explodes above Gotham.

Return of Donna Troy – Donna Troy isn’t dead and learns her true origin. She’s really…every Donna Troy that existed in the Multiverse combined into one being. The Titans of Myth were using her to escape this reality, because they knew it was doomed. Donna’s reunited with her Titan allies before she decides to get a team together to save the universe.

Tim, did I miss anything major?

Hmm…not really. I would note that in OMAC, Rocket Red died, Fire was badly injured, and Booster Gold returned to the future. Also, the heroes did put a dent in the spy satelite’s plan, but there are still some 300,000 plus OMACs ready and willing to due Brother I’s bidding.

Otherwise, I’d say it was all pretty well covered.


George M loves the kink

Because it seems Wonder Woman doesn’t have enough questions asked about her, does she still do bondage in the comics? I mean it seemed like she did it all the time in Superdickery.com?

There’s no denying that Wondy had a bondage skeleton in her closet. However that was the Pre Crisis Wondy. She’s moved beyond that. Now she’s all about snapping necks and taking names.

I don’t think that it’s fair to judge the Pre Crisis Wondy’s actions. They were acceptable for the time. Take into consideration;

The Pre Crisis Golden Eagle was a confirmed bachelor.

The Pre Crisis Huntress, a lady of the evening.

The Pre Crisis Power Girl was eager to go parking.

The Pre Crisis Superboy was usually hopped up on goofballs.

Clearly the Pre Crisis DCU was a place that just skirted the edges of the Comic Code Authority.

Tim, is it wrong for us to take those Pre Crisis depictions out of context?

No. Only because, in context, they never made much sense either.


Albrecht wonders what our wish list looks like

If you could own any five comics what would they be? My list is as
follows
1. Whiz #2- First Appearance of Captain Marvel SHAZAM!
2. Detective Comics #27- First Batman appearance
3. Showcase #8- First appearance of Captain Cold
4. More Fun Comics #52- first appearance of the Spectre
5. Detective #66- first appearance of Two-Face

What books would you love to own?

First and foremost I’d kill for Elseworlds 80 Page Giant I’ve never wanted a book like I want this one. It’s not just because it’s rare, it’s mostly because I love the Elseworlds concept.

I also wouldn’t mind getting my hands on Flash #½.

I can’t find the Wonder Woman #220 from a couple of months ago anywhere, so having that would be cool.

Yeah, I’m really running dry. I’m sorry if my picks aren’t that exciting. I’m not really interested in having 1st appearances comics. I primarily collect what I read, as opposed to collecting for value. If my collection was appraised I don’t think it’d fetch too much. But for someone who wants to read, they’d love my collection.

Tim, are there any books that you’re lusting after?

I’m not really a collector so first appearances and things of that nature do not necessarily hold much sway on me. The one I do know off the top of my head that I always have half an eye out for is the first appearance of Bullseye. Yeah, I know that’s a Marvel choice, but it is true. I have every Daredevil comic from like 136 on and Bullseye was introduced just about five issues before that. I love the character and I tend to enjoy Marv Wolfman (the man who created Bullseye) so that would be cool to get a hold of.

Besides that my want list fluctuates a whole lot because I tend to either get what I want or grow out of wanting it. For example, I wanted, at one point, every issue KnightQuest book. I like Batman a lot and, at the time, I had just received both Knightfall trades and gotten all the Knight’s End issues. It sort of made sense to fill in the gap. However, I quickly realized that it was a whole lot of books and a lot of them just were not all that good so I abandoned that mission.

The last DC set of wants I can recall was filling in some spaces in my Waid Flash collection. I did that so that particular itch was scratched.

Sorry if my choices kind of sucked too.


Sadly another column has drawn to a close.

But don’t worry the fun usually continues over on our thread. Post away or fire off an email in my direction.

But before we go let me ask you a question; What are you most worried will happen in the rumored Post Infinite Crisis shake up?

“Golly I’m gully.”

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