“Color and Light (a.k.a. I Must Be Dreaming)”
Previously, on Desperate Housewives: Gabrielle is pregnant, Susan’s ex moved in with Edie, Bree seemed to get over Rex, at least a little bit, and the Applewhites struggle with the fugitive in the basement.
Lynette can’t get playdates for her twins because they’ve hurt their past playdates, but some new kids beat up on them and Lynette’s twins seemed to like that, so I think we have a match here.
You’re watching Desperate Housewives, unfortunately.
The Housewives try to cheer up Susan after Mike broke it off with her last week, except for Edie who’s always a negative Nancy. Susan claims to be “zen” about the whole thing, but Edie sees it as being numb.
Lynette has to take care of the playdate this time, but the guests bring over a naughty video of their parents that Lynette and Tom are barely able to stop in time before their virgin eyes are raped.
Gabrielle is looking snug in a size 00, but she opts to starve for 48 hours in lieu of upgrading to size 0.
Susan goes to Mike’s house to give back a Valentine’s Day card Mike left in the box of her things, since it’s apparently tacky to give back gifts. Mike just throws it away and Susan notices her ex and Edie arguing as Mike closes the door in her face when Susan turns back around.
George brings Bree to a house he just bought and then invites Bree to live with him by marrying him. George’s mom and the real estate agent are there waiting for a yes, so a pressured Bree caves in and agrees to marry George, even if Rex hasn’t been dead for two months yet.
Karl arrives to crash at Susan’s house as they talk about their newly failed relationships, although neither indulge why they failed, at least not yet. They both seem to be getting along, however.
Bree talks about George’s proposal with Dr. Goldfine, saying it was horrible but she’s thinking about going through with that after all, but she wants Goldfine’s opinion first. Goldfine notes Bree doesn’t feel for George like Rex, but Bree doesn’t think she needs true love anymore, she just needs someone who appreciates what she likes to do the most.
Susan finishes off the last of the wine as Karl reveals that Edie left him because she found a picture of Susan between the mattresses. Karl then sneaks in a kiss, rationalizing with Susan that they’re both suddenly single, shouldn’t they be a little less lonely as old friends?
Time for another playdate at the Scavos, but Lynette tells Norma about the sex tape, as Norma flips out and takes off with her kids, the playdates seem to be over.
Julie arrives home to find her mother in bed with Karl, flipping out and getting her lunch money and leaving in a hurry. Karl and Susan discuss how great the sex was last night, but Susan wasn’t expecting a relastionship to happen again, this was just two old friends helping each other out. Weird.
Gabrielle still can’t get into the 00 because she’s showing even more of her pregnancy, so she gets her new gardeners to use a pair of pliers to get her into the dress, and Gabrielle plops down onto the nearest chair in relief…and promptly rips the hell out of the dress.
Finally going to the Applewhites’ basement, as some ice cream is brought down for their prisoner. But first Betty wants her prisoner to recognize what he did to Melanie Foster was wrong. He claims that she was a bad person and deserved to die, but Betty doesn’t think anyone deserves to die THAT WAY. He doesn’t agree, so they take the ice cream and leave as the prisoner goes nuts and then realizes that in his anger he has released a screw out of the bed.
The Scavos go to visit Leonard and Norma, trying to make up for the porn movie thing, and then Leonard makes things awkward by showing off the room where he produces all these pornos, complete with soundproof walls. The Scavos get out as soon as possible, agreeing to no more playdates with them.
Bree is ready for a movie, the type in the theater, but George’s mother invited a few friends over and George was wondering if Bree could stick around for a while and chatter with them. This turns out to be a dozen people, as Bree is nervous but agrees. Bree gets a talk about having kids with George, and she storms out, telling George that she doesn’t want anymore kids.
The Applewhites notice that the cell door is open and that their prisoner has escaped. They begin a search of the neighborhood while all of the Housewives are out working, and they happen upon the last area unchecked: Bree’s. Betty provides the distraction as the son runs into Danielle, looking as statutory as ever as she gets asked out, and the man is unable to find the prisoner.
Karl and Edie are back together, as Karl really turned around at Susan’s place. Edie declares Karl as hers, since he made his choice. Gabrielle mentions her friends predicted she would become a miserable housewife, so she’s just gotta fit into the 00 dress with Bree’s help sewing.
George rides past a jogging Dr. Goldfine and then stops, pretends to stretch and then attacks the doctor, tossing him off the bridge in the scene of the night.
Gabrielle’s model friends arrive and after all that work…they notice that she’s pregnant. Afterwards, she visits Bree and wonders why she isn’t friends with her models and then realizes that she’s been changed. Bree goes to get her sewing kit, as Gabrielle finds the fridge open and doesn’t notice the open vat of ice cream behind it. She finds an empty bowl in the bathroom, and there’s the escaped prisoner, as Gabrielle runs and falls down the stairs. The prisoner doesn’t attack her, however. The police arrive and take Gabrielle away on a stretcher, as Karl puts a picture of Susan in a book, and Bree rides with Gabrielle to the hospital with a picture of Gabrielle’s sonogram in her hands.