The Turkeyfix

Ok, honestly it’s not that special…Gordi is off in the land of the rising sun and I’ll be filling in for him this week. However, there really isn’t anything going on in the wrestling world, so I don’t know what to talk about. But I’m sure some things will come to mind…On with the show…

According to this report, the loving couple of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey have finally called it quits…on Thanksgiving. Shit, you had to do it on Thanksgiving? Talk about waiting to promote your special! Couldn’t you have done it on Christmas or something? Ya know, “Hey, you suck, Merry Christmas beeotch.” “Fuck you, it’s over, Merry Christmas!” If anything, those two did ride that marriage to the bank. When I get married, I’m going to make a reality TV show for the same reason. Call it “This Is What Real Fucking Marriage Is”

The NY Mets get Carlos Delgado and I don’t even blink an eye. The stupidest move I’ve seen on the hot stove? Jim Thome going to the White Sox? What is Chicago’s deal? Thome is injury prone and Rowand is a defensive gift. You win the World Series and just start messing things up I guess.

Well, since Gordi’s column is usually “The Art of Wrestling”, I should add in some wrestling art:

Found it on Google, pretty sure it’s Picasso.

Finally, since I am sleepy from the turkey burger I had, Vince Russo has an interview with Slam! Nothing really interesting, except for the Jesus stuff. It just seems as though it’s an angle for Russo. I’m kind of thinking he’s trying to build to a feud with a new Ministry, or maybe HBK will turn heel with Jesus and take on the new face Satan and Russo. JR should call that match. “It’s Bibles and Brimstone! BY GAWD! HE SENT HIM TO THE SEVENTH LEVEL OF HELL! LITERALLY!”

1) If you read this column, you are young and don’t understand the true meaning of family. 2) You don’t have a family, for which I am sorry. 3) You masterbate constantly. 4) You think of Inside Pulse when you masterbate…freak. 5) Go eat some f*cking turkey, I’ll see you Monday. Adios!

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