InsidePulse’s WWE SmackDown! Report

Welcome to Inside Pulse’s Live WWE Friday Night SmackDown! report. I’m Rob Welcher here with the show recap! Tonight, we have three title matches as United States champion Booker T defends against probably the most under-used superstar on the roster, Chris Benoit! We will see Cruiserweight champion Nunzio defend his newly won gold against former champ, Juvi. And finally, fomer World Heavyweight champion Randy Orton will challenge current champ, and former friend, Batista!

The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the WWE United States championship. (Kennedy’s right, this is easy.) Sharmell comes out to introduce Booker T. Benoit comes out and is clearly the fan favorite. He demands that Sharmell gets banned from ringside. The match starts with the two locking up, trading chops in the corner. Benoit gets the upperhand until Booker T hits him with a knee to the gut, followed by a scoop slam. Beniot comes back with more chops, followd by the customary “WOOOOOO” chants by the crowd, and a vertical suplex. The Rabid Wolverine hits Booker T with a high knee and a scoop slam of his own, only to recive a kick to the chin for his troubles. Benoit uses his “Canadian Fortitude” (I’m copyrighting this!) to chop down the defending champion, Booker T misses a couple of side kicks, but manages to hang The Crippler over the top rope. Benoit attempts to hit Booker with a suplex to the outside, but the former G.I. Bro swings Benoit into the steel ringpost.

Commerical, I’m gonna get some graham crackers! (random Family Guy joke)

Back from break, and the United States champion is in total control. Benoit goes for the Crippler Crossface but the champ rolls through with a kick to the jaw followed by a vertical suplex. Michael Cole talks (I hit the mute button, joking) about how the fans are enjoying this more than Raw. The show hasn’t been on long enough, but, I am just because Raw is becoming stale….anywho, back to the action. Booker T irish whips Chris Benoit into the ref which leads to….one of the worst ref bumps in history! Booker goes up top, but Beniot counters with an over the head belly to belly suplex. The former World Champ hits a German suplex and follows through with a Sharpshooter. A new ref strolls down to ringside just in time to witness the United States Champion Booker T…..get to the ropes to break the hold! Benoit gives Booker T the hat trick with three Germans, and goes up top for the headbutt. Sharmell distracts the challenger long enough to get a superplex by Booker T. As both men hit the canvas, both their shoulders touch the mat long enough for both refs to count both men down.

Winner…..?

After the break, SmackDown! General Manger Teddy Long (or T. Lo as he’s called in SmackDown! vs. Raw 2006) is in the ring demanding to see a replay. After viewing, he decides that the WWE United States champion is….NOBODY! T. Lo vacates the title and says that Booker T and Chris Benoit will begin a best of seven series for the title with the first match being this Sunday at WWE Survivor Series. He mentions that the two stars fought in a best of seven series for the same title in WCW…(can you say pointless?)

JBL is seen in the parking lot walking towards a white van that he suspects contains Team Raw. The former WWE champion, self proclaimed Wrestling God (and weekend dentist…horrible joke.) opens the van door to find the dreaded…Boogeyman! I realize that he’s coming to get me, but when? I need to prepare for this kind of stuff.

The next “match” (yes, those are sarcastic quotes) features the debut of the newest WWE tag team sensation, The Dicks (I’m skipping it because young children could be reading this, plus it’s just way to easy.) facing the former WWE Tag Team champions… LOD 2005! LOD meets the team on the outside of the ring and whips them into each other. The Dicks are in control of this, this um, contest until Road Warrior Animal tags himself in only to get hit with the most dreaded finisher in WWE history…Baby Oil. Yep, one of the new guys squirts Animal in the eyes with baby oil and rolls him up for the victory….(This is why I watch TNA.)

Winners- The Dicks.

Next up is one of my favorite new comers, Ken Kennedy. Tonight, Mr. Kennedy will square off with the former Sensai of Mattitude, Matt Hardy! The crowd chants along with Kennedy’s self intro. (Note, when a heel is loved by the fans, the time to turn face is now.) Cole mentions that Mr. Kennedy has victories over Rey Mysterio and Booker T. Hardy is dominating the match and lays out Kennedy, Hardy goes up top for the moonsault, but oh, he misses and is slid rib first by Kennedy into the ring post. The crowd is definately 50/50 in chants for the two. Hardy gets a near fall by hitting the Side Effect. Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate but Kennedy counters. Hardy goes up top but Kennedy is their and sets up for the Green Bay Plunge. Hardy counters what I like to call the coolest finisher today…(On WWE that is.)into a bulldog from the top. Hardy continues to rule this match as he takes the fight outside. Kennedy slams Hardy’s head into the steel steps. Mr. Kennedy grabs a chair and goes into the ring, the ref takes the chair away, but accidently gets hit by Kennedy, leading to a DQ victory by Hardy.

Winner- The leader of the M’Fer’s, Matt Hardy

Eric Bischoff arrives backstage and informs T. Lo that “they’re coming”. A recap of the Melina-Trish incident is shown….God, could Melina be any hotter?

Time for some Diva action as Christy Hemme is set to take on the apparent #1 contender for the Raw Women’s championship, Menlina w/ the WWE tag team champs, Nitro and Mercury. The first Diva Search winner greats Melina with a dropkick as she enters the ring. Mercury pushes Hemme which leads to the champs being sent to the back. Christy executes a crossbody but doesn’t go for the pin. Instead, hits another dropkick, but once again, no cover. Melina gets fed up, delivers a facebuster and gets the pinfall. The tag champs come out to celebrate.

Winner-(and future girlfriend…yeah, right) Melina

Batista is getting taped up backstag. Randy Orton tells Batista not to use his injury as an excuse in their title match. Batista tells Orton not to worry, and then the bickering begins! Orton says that he was the star of Evolution, Batista quips back that he put Orton on the self after Wrestlemania 21. He then says that he is better than Orton because Orton lost his title to Triple H, and Batista did what The Legend Killer couldn’t. He beat Triple H to become the World Heavyweight champion.

Cole and Tazz talk about Nunzio’s Cruiserweight championship victory over Juvi in Italy. They show footage of the finish. Carlito and Chris Masters make their way down the audience, security rushes out, but they have the ultimate ace in the hole….tickets!

Cruiserweight champion Nunzio w/ Vito vs. Juvi w/ The Mexicools. fast paced match that sees Juvi-juice attempt a plancha on the outside, but Vito pulls Nunzio out of the way. Back in the ring, The Juice hits a spinning heel kick and a reverse spinning slam. Nunzio misses the Sicilian Slice and gets hit with the Juvi Driver for the pin.

Winner and NEW WWE Cruiserweight champion, Juvi! As the Mexicools are celebrating, Juvi pulls a “Latino Heat will live forever” sign out of the audience.

William Regal and Paul Burchill vs. Rey Mysterio and JBL. The action starts with Regal and Burchill dominating the master of the 619. After control is regained, Mysterio delivers a picture perfect hurracarana on Burchill followed by an enzuguri. Mysterio hits the 619 followed by a top rope leg drop. Regal interupts the count and gets hit with a sloppy Clothesline from Hell by JBL. JBL is distracted by Carlito in the crowd and turn around to see The Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels delivering some Sweet Chin Music. Security chases HBK away, forgetting about the Raw guys in the crowd as they jump the rafters and attack Mysterio. Chris Benoit, Hardcore Holly and LOD make the save.

Winners-No Contest on the count of interference by Team Raw

Next up is Orlando Jordon vs. Bobby Lashley. (Little side note, Bobby Lashley is supposedly from my hometome of Topeka, KS. Nobody cares, but, now you know, and knowing is half the battle.) Lashley is doing the whole, Lesnar jumping on the apron grabbing the rope thing…Jordan attacks Lashley before he can enter the ring. Lashley comes back with a vertical suplex, a deuce of overhead suplexs and The Dominator for the win. (I like Lashley, but his finisher needs to change.)

Winner by total squash- Bobby Lashley.

The camera cuts back to T. Lo and a security guard running backstage to see the whole group of security is down. T. Lo then orders every SmackDown! Superstar to the ring to protect his main event.

The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is your main event. And it is for the World Heaveyweight championship. (Vince, I’ll do this job for $50,000 a year and a slim jim….kidding…or am I?) Batisa (c) vs. Randy Orton. The two tease the crowd before finally intiating a lockup. Team Raw and some other Raw guys invade and begin a brawl. Randy Orton hits Cade and Murdoch with RKO’s. HBK hits Orton with some Sweet Chin Music. Mysterio hits HBK with the 619. Carlito and Masters attack Rey. Batista disposes of them both. Kane and Big Show fight with Batista, over power him and give him a double chokeslam through the annoucers table. The rest of the guys brawl until the show is over.

My thoughts are this: While people have been clamoring for SmackDown! vs. Raw off and on, it only meant something to me to see them clash at WrestleMania. The constent invasions seem overdone to me and rather than promote Survivor Series, they seem to be promoting the release of the new video game. Rather than build up dream matches like last years HBK/Kurt Angle match, they want to spoil it with to much of a good thing. The other problem is that all of the guys on team SmackDown! are their top stars, while bigger Raw names have nothing to do with the fued. Once again, this is why I usually watch the alternative.
But, why do I still watch WWE? Simple, I still enjoy the superstars and some of the storylines, plus, I’m a huge Kaneanite, but I just know that the minute I stop watching, the shows production value will go through the roof and when I decide to start watching again, I’ll have no idea what’s going on. Just like what happend when I decided that WCW offered the better show. Wow, was I wrong.

Until next week, this has been Rob Welcher with the SmackDown! Report.