Well I’m back with a new review as I felt like watching the awesome Jake Roberts Vs Randy Savage stuff on this video again and because I felt it would be an interesting read.
Before I start how CRUEL was the Jungle Jail on “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here” Last night? Seriously, the idea itself was bad enough but putting SHEREE in there was just evil. I voted for Jenny just for putting up with Sheree’s moaning for a night about how she was afraid of the noises. Granted I wouldn’t want to sleep in the open jungle but there’s no need to get so worked up about it. I’m beginning to feel that Sheree’s “Help I’m afraid of everything” routine is just a front to gain sympathy. She’ll receive none from me, you went in to that jungle on you own accord so you knew how bad it would be. Have you learned nothing from Natalie Appleton last year? I now want Jenny to win as she strikes me as the most genuine person in there now. Even if she does dress her dog in brand name dog clothing. If you’re in the UK and reading this Vote Jenny Frost to win!
Anyway to the tape, this is one of the usual early 90’s tapes where they have “special” matches with pretty random guys. Take a look at Scott Keith’s Colleseum Video rants to see what I mean. This is a unique little video though a sit actually has all the matches from “Tuesday in Texas” on it which predated Taboo Tuesday by over 12 years. Basically it was a show that happened a week after Survivor Series 91 and had the long awaited one on one match between Jake Roberts and Randy Savage. Anyway let’s get to the tape
Sean Mooney starts us out hyping the tape
b”Tag Team Match of the Month”
The Mountie, The Earthquake and The Nasty Boys w/ Jimmy Hart Vs Jim Neidhart, Big Boss Man and LOD
In the off chance John Tenta reads this, I really hope you get better man, you’re one of my favourite big guys in wrestling and I really wish you well. I can’t believe that two of these guys are dead and that the only active guy in this match today is Animal. Boss Man and Mountie start and Mountie gets some right hands but is caught on a leap frog and Spine Bustered down. The faces clean house and the heels regroup outside. Sags comes in and gets some punches in but takes some from Boss Man and gets floored. The crowd is nuts for Boss Man here. Animal comes in and he gets double teamed by TNB but floors Knobs and gets a nice looking Power Bomb but Mountie saves. Neidhart comes in takes over on Knobs but takes a cheap shot from Earthquake. Quake beats down on Neidhart but misses the big elbow and tags out to Sags who gets promptly pounded on by a fresh Hawk. Mountie comes in isn’t too pleased to fight Hawk. Hawk no sells some stuff and press slams Mountie down and gets the jumping fist drop. Boss Man comes in and hammers away on Mountie getting the 10 corner smashes and we have stereo 10 punches on everyone by the faces. A well placed Hart helmet shot on Boss Man turns the tide and Quake comes in to pound on Boss Man. Earthquake crushes Boss Man with some elbows for two and Knobs comes in. Boss Man is sent outside where Sags chairs him and Mountie sends him into the steel steps. Back inside Knobs gets two from an elbow but Boss Man fires back. A Sags cheap shot ends that rally but Boss Man keeps fighting and makes a tag to Animal but the ref doesn’t see it and TNB double team some more. Boss Man hot tags Hawk who is the proverbial House En Feugo. Everyone brawls and Hawk gets the top rope lariat on Knobs for the win
WINNERS – LOD, NEIDHART AND BOSS MAN
*** – No resting and the crowd was hot plus I got a kick out of it for some reason.
No it’s time for Tax Tips with IRS. It’s a terribly acted sketch that is so atrociously bad it’s funny which is one of the best kinds of funny. If you’re interested here’s the tips
10. Stop claiming pets as house hold dependants
9. Claim all cash made from last car boot sale
8. Stop hiding those tips under the mattress
7. Get rid of gas guzzling four door and walk to walk to cut down on “fuel” expense claims
6. Claim money mowing neighbours lawn
5. Get a priest to sign a receipt for donations
4. Business expense claims are for that, business not weekend getaways to Orlando
3. Having your daughters bucked teeth fixed doesn’t constitute a proper medical claim
2. Try mailing your returns on time
1. Quit your crying and pay what’s due or IRS with AUDIT YOU
WWF Intercontinental Championship
(C) Bret Hart Vs IRS
Lock up leads to a Bret head scissors and IRS complains of a hair pull. I reckon these guys must a fought each other for a whole year if the amount of matches between them on these sort of tapes suggest. Bret gets a hip toss and a dropkick and IRS bails. Oh it’s going to be one of THOSE matches. IRS stalls and comes back in where Bret gets some strikes but is caught on a cross body with a rib breaker. IRS gets some elbows for two. Heels sure like that spot. IRS goes to his one trademark move at this point, the rope assisted Abdominal Stretch, and that is as fun as it suggests. Bret gets a school boy for a quick two before getting stomped down and put in a sleeper. Bret fights up after the whole “lift the arm twice” routine and elbows out but is knocked down and IRS takes control again. IRS gets a slam and heads to the top which works out like normal as he gets a face full of Bret’s right boot. Atomic drop and clothesline get two for Bret as does a vertical suplex. Back breaker and elbow gets two and Bret gets the Russian Leg Sweep and second rope elbow for two. Bret gets the 10 punch and goes for a Sharpshooter but IRS makes the ropes and goes to the briefcase for a DQ.
WINNER – BRET HART BY DQ
½* – IRS couldn’t even job clean? Bret beats IRS down post match and celebrates.
Now a feature on The Undertaker, still in his heel days and with the cool original midi sounding organ music. I miss that theme so much. Taker says “Take a look at one of our recent burials”
The Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer Vs Greg Valentine
Greg gets a “We know you’re going to die but good luck anyway” reaction from the crowd. Valentine has no chance here. Taker destroys Valentine to start but gets some knife edge chops and elbows in the corner. That doesn’t work and Taker begins to slowly take Valentine apart with the usual as the crowd look on in fear. Taker chokes away in the corner and stares the ref down. Valentine gets a comeback going with some chops and goes to the arm wringer which doesn’t work. A big boot leads to a Valentine “falling like a tree” sell which is just awesome. Taker gets a beautiful leaping lariat but misses a leg drop and Valentine goes to the figure four. Valentine is distracted by Bearer as Undertaker sits up and one Tombstone later it’s over
WINNER – UNDERTAKER
*1/4 – Pretty much an Undertaker squash
The Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer Vs Jimmy Snuka
This is from Wrestlemania VII. Taker jumps Snuka to start and pounds away in the corner and beats Snuka down with his usual. This is pretty much the last match but Snuka gets his hope spots in instead of Valentine. Taker finishes the beating with a Tombstone and so began a legacy
Now it’s time for the Tuesday in Texas matches
We’re in San Antonio and you’re hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan
WWF Intercontinental Title
(C) Bret Hart Vs Skinner
Wow this one is sure a foregone conclusion isn’t it? Skinner was a perfect example of a half decent worker put in a shitty gimmick. This gimmick for Steve Kiern included skinning crocodiles. AMAZINGLY he didn’t get over. Bret goes to the arm bar to start and they do a leapfrog sequence that ends with Skinner taking some atomic drops and getting clotheslined. Skinner stalls and comes back inside where Bret stays on the arm with some good mat work. Skinner keeps stalling and Bret stays in control. Skinner does some cheating and sends Bret shoulder first into the steel post. Skinner chokes Bret and stuff outside as nothing of any note or interest happens. Skinner goes to the abdominal stretch and uses the ropes for cheating purposes. Shoulder breaker gets two for Skinner and he runs into a raised boot. Bret misses a second rope elbow and Skinner nails him with a crocodile claw, no I’m not kidding, and that leads to him working on the throat. Bret is sent chest first into the corner and then Skinner goes to a choke. Skinner resorts to just throwing Bret’s face into the mat as the fans get behind Bret. Skinner gets a reverse DDT for two, that must have been his finisher, but eats a boot sandwich on a second rope elbow. Bret makes the comeback and gets a Russian Leg Sweep for two. Bret gets some more near falls from his usual moves and Skinner gets two from a victory roll. They fight outside and Skinner gains the advantage from choking and such other nefarious methods. Bret catches Skinner on the top and throws him off leading to the Sharpshooter for the win
WINNER – BRET HART
**1/4 – Good finish but Skinner’s middle heat segment wasn’t exactly thrilling
Jake Roberts gives an awe inspiringly cool promo about how he’s going kill Savage. “Trust Me” was the heel catchphrase of the 90’s boys and girls. Randy Savage gives a very pissed off promo that is also awesome. This feud was amazing
Jake Roberts Vs Randy Savage
Savage jumps Jake in the aisle and the fight is on! Savage destroys Jake in the ring as the whole crowd is going mental. Savage gets a top rope axe handle and Jakes bails but Savage is having none of that tonight and he follows Jake outside and continues the shit kicking. Jake gets a cheap shot inside and chucks Savage outside to buy some time. Savage is sent into the post outside and Jake rams the arm into it. A snake bit Savage in the arm so it’s bandaged and because Jake is an evil genius he targets it without discrimination or conscience. Jake gets an inverted atomic drop and goes after the arm as Savage tries to fight him off. Jake tries to rip the bandages off but Savage fights him back with some desperation shots. Jake shrugs some Savage offence off and stays on the arm. Jake gets the short arm clothesline and taunts the crowd to some serious heel heat. Savage fights off the DDT and heads up for a Flying Elbow for the win. They must have clipped the match or something because I could have sworn it was longer
WINNER – RANDY SAVAGE
***1/2 – Great fight with some good psychology. After the match it gets even better as Savage grabs a chair to carry on the beating but it’s taken away, so he gets the ring bell instead. The ref is a dick and won’t let him use it so Jake capitalises with a DDT. Savage is so over here so the crowd is furious when Jake DDT’s him again. Jake looks like he’s leaving but then changes his mind and comes back with a sick grin on his face. He goes under the ring and brings out a bag which supposedly has a cobra in it. Before he opens it Elizabeth runs down to protect her husband. Jake breaks the evil dick head barrier by teasing Elizabeth with the bag. Jakes gets another DDT and makes Elizabeth watch. This was some heavy stuff at the time and the crowd is in fear for both Savage’s and Elizabeth’s lives. Jake tells he wants Elizabeth to beg for Savage to be saved and she refuses so Jake hits her and the crowd in SHOCK. You just didn’t hit women back then so that made Jake top heel in the company. Even Jack Tunney comes out and it turns out there was never a snake in the bag and Jake was just having some fun. That was some amazing storytelling. Jake cuts another awesome promo, probably his best, as he begs to Savage “Let me touch her again” he gets orgasmic joy from it almost. This feud was one of the greatest in wrestling history.
The Warlord w/ Harvey Whipleman Vs British Bulldog
This is Vince McMahon’s idea of porn. Warlord overpowers Bulldog to start but Bulldog takes him down and gets the old head butt to the groin move. Bulldog clotheslines Warlord outside but gets caught and slammed back first into the ring post. Bulldog does the old 10 corner smashes and heads up top with a Missile Dropkick. WTF? Bulldog ties Warlord up in the ropes but gets crotched on the ropes and Warlord takes over with his power stuff. Let’s skip ahead where Bulldog fights out of a Full Nelson and making the comeback with a second rope lariat and hanging vertical suplex for two. I still mark out for Bulldog doing stuff like that. Bulldog gets a crucifix roll up for the win
WINNER – BULLDOG
It was about * because Bulldog did some good feats of strength but Warlords stuff was incredibly boring but if you skipped that part you had a good two minutes of Bulldog stuff
Randy Savage cuts probably his best promo ever promising even more pain and suffering for Jake Roberts. This feud just brought out the best in them.
Ted Dibiase and Repo Man w/ Sherri Vs Virgil and Tito Santana
The story behind this match was that Virgil beat Dibiase for the Million Dollar Belt so Dibiase introduced Repo Man to steal the belt back for him. At least I think that’s the reason. Repo and Tito start off and Repo pounds away. Say what you want about Repo Man bit I found the gimmick incredibly entertaining and I’m sure if he was around today he would have been a popular babyface. I still say they should have had Repo come in for one show during Eddie Guerrero’s feud with JBL and repossess JBL’s limo. That would have been comic gold. Anyway Tito and Repo do a section where Tito gains the advantage. Virgil and Dibiase come in and do their usual match and Virgil dumps Dibiase outside a couple of times and the crowd is hot for that. Virgil runs into an elbow and Repo comes in and does some beating down. Dibiase does some choking with the tag rope and comes in for some more pounding. Virgil gets double teamed for a lengthy amount of time but makes the hot tag to Tito following a neck breaker on Dibiase. Tito is the real House En Feugo but is distracted by Dibiase and jumped by Repo. Now Tito gets worked over by the heels as the crowd gets behind him. After taking a beating, and having a false tag, Tito tags in Virgil who annihilates the heels and the crowd are going nuts. All four guys come in and during the confusion Sherri hits Dibiase with a shoe but Repo jumps Virgil and Dibiase capitalises for the win
WINNERS – DIBIASE AND REPO MAN
**1/2 – shockingly hot tag match
Hulk Hogan gets promo time and hypes up his match with Undertaker next. Undertaker beat him a week before, with Ric Flair’s assistance, to win the title and this is the rematch.
WWF Championship
(C) The Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer Vs Hulk Hogan
Both Bearer and Taker jump Hogan to start but he fights then off and beats down Taker with the 10 punch. Jack Tunney comes down to the ring to oversee the match as Hogan keeps on the offence. Hogan clotheslines Taker outside and keeps on with the beating but he gets dragged outside and gets beaten down. Fans are VERY pro Hogan here. Taker does his usual exciting array of chokes and punches back inside. Hogan mounts a brief comeback but is soon on the wrong end of the Undertaker Rope Walk. Hogan and Taker fight outside where Hogan gets sent into the railing. Back inside Taker gets the face claw and Hogan just lies down on the mat for two minutes. God this match is tediously boring. They botch something and they have to re organise with Taker getting a big boot. Taker gets the leaping lariat, I think that was what he wanted to do before, and that gets two. Taker goes for another Rope Walk but Hogan throws him off and starts Hulking Up. Meanwhile, Ric Flair comes down to the ring to try to interfere. Hogan knocks Taker outside and chairs Flair sending him into Tunney knocking him out. Hogan fires away at Taker inside with his usual set of moves but walks into a throat thrust. Flair tries to hit Hogan but Taker gets hit in the face with the chair. Hogan throws ashes from the urn in Taker’s face, no I’m not lying, and gets the roll up for the title. What a role model
WINNER – HULK HOGAN
½* – Well this match was sure awful. Due to the fact that the finish was one of the screwiest in history Tunney ended up vacating the title and putting it up for grabs at the 1992 Royal Rumble where Ric Flair became the champion
Now it’s Lord Alfred Hayes “Call of the Action” as he analyses some certain moves on how they hurt you etc.
Well that’s the end of the tape.
The Inside Pulse
Overall it’s not too bad and the Tuesday in Texas match between Savage and Roberts is essential viewing. The rest is your average standard stuff even though Bret/Skinner and the 8 man tag have their moments
