Welcome back to ringside everyone. A lot of WWE bashing going on this week so enjoy.
Impact! Recap
The NeelDown is the only report this week as my Thanksgiving vacation (which sucked) kept me from reviewing Impact live.
Oh Man, This Is Just Bad
So Vince McMahon drops the N bomb. Good job Vince, I thought you couldn’t go any lower than pulling stuff out of Jim Ross’ ass but you succeeded. Why did he say it to Cena in the first place? Cena lost all “street cred” when he stopped with the freestyles. That’s why I jumped on the Cena bandwagon, not because he’s being shoved down my throat and being built as Austin or The Rock. It’s because he would rap half way decent.
Not only did Vince drop the N bomb, but he said it in front of his top black performer. Who then, just to hit the punch line and be funny, said “Tell me he didn’t just say that.” Are they showing that Booker T has come along way since his childhood and is no longer offended from the N word. The old Booker T would have bust a cap in Vince’s white ass. But no, they turn it into a comedy routine. Let Vince try and call Monty Brown the N word, he will be POOOOOOUUUUUUNCED back to WrestleMania 1… PERIOD.
You would think it couldn’t get any worse but damn it did. Their main star and WWE Champion, John Cena is being shoved down our throats so much you would think he was Tommy Lee’s Penis. So what do the fans do? Turn on him, with good right. Let Cena go back to being heel and let him cut those awesome freestyles. Matter of fact, let me bust a flow right quick:
Yo yo yo, turn John Cena heel
The fans don’t like him now, you know the deal
It’s the same bullshit every week
Let him freestyle, his flows ain’t weak
He got over on a gimmick, and that’s gone stale
Change it up a bit, and you won’t fail
Angle rules you, he should wear the ring of brass
If WWE doesn’t turn Cena, they can kiss my …
Yes, I’m white.
Then when you think it can’t get any worse, WWE puts on a Smackdown Special. Now everyone gets on TNA’s back for jumbling a show together every Saturday. Well WWE got a taste of a 1-hour show and look how that turned out. There were 2 matches and the only storyline advancement was Orton/Taker. Now think if this was WWE’s only show for the week. They would have to jumble up all their workers as well. Here’s a run down of a 1-hour Raw and Smackdown, some fantasy booking if you will:
Raw
Segment 1: Triple H interview (20 minutes)
Segment 2: Trevor Murdoch vs. Big Show (3 minute squash)
Segment 3: Shawn Michaels interview (4 minutes)
Segment 4: Bikini Contest (6 minutes)
Segment 5: Kane vs. Edge (6 minutes, DQ)
Segment 6: John Cena interview (4 minutes)
Main Event: Kurt Angle vs. Ric Flair (10 minutes)
That’s 53 minutes of booking with no commercials. Now we take into account that I didn’t get to use guys like Masters, Benjamin, Carlito, The McMahons, and others. WWE can hardly pull off a decent 2-hour show, no way could they put together a decent 1-hour jumble.
Smackdown!
Segment 1: Chris Benoit vs. Booker T (10 minutes)
Segment 2: JBL interview (4 minutes)
Segment 3: Teddy Long makes a match (3 minutes)
Segment 4: Ken Kennedy vs. Matt Hardy (7 minutes)
Segment 5: MNM interview (2 minutes)
Segment 6: Randy Orton interview (3 minutes)
Main Event: Randy Orton vs. Batista (12 minutes)
Segment 8: Undertaker attacks (5 minutes)
That’s 46 minutes with no commercials. Again, I didn’t book any of the cruiserweights, The Boogyman, The Divas, and others.
So the point I’m making is that if WWE had a 1-hour show for each brand they would have to cut segments to jumble everything or leave workers out to try and put on a decent show. So until TNA gets a two-hour timeslot, they will continue to have to bunch everything together in order to make everyone happy. If you want to see the real TNA, order the PPVs because they are miles better than anything WWE puts on.
And finally we get to Eddie Guerrero. I guess the tribute shows weren’t storylines because if that was the case then there is no way Rey would fight Big Show considering how sad Big Show was at the tribute show. Also why did Big Show go as far as spitting on the low rider? I didn’t mind that Rey came out with the low rider or that he even dedicated the match to Eddie but spitting on and then blowing up the low rider was kind of pushing it to me. I’m not in a full rage over what happened on the Smackdown Special but I thought they were pushing it at the end there. Also that booking was completely retarded.
They hype Rey vs. Show to death and then nobody wins. Not only does nobody win but Kane comes out to help Big Show, like he needs it. Then Undertaker comes out and for some stupid ass reason, Kane leaves for a few minutes while Big Show stays in the ring so Taker can no sell for him. Kane comes back and waits 5 minutes for Taker to grab him for the chokeslam while he stands there with his hand in the air looking dumb. Oh but then Orton comes out and Taker sells the RKO as a neckbreaker. Then they blow up the low rider with Taker in it. Of course Taker will be back in less than a month because he has to collect his PPV pay off check. I liked the whole Taker/Orton feud heading into WrestleMania but now they are just getting out of hand with it.
As I type this, I find out that Ric Flair beat his wife. I’m glad to see that Steve Austin has rubbed off on Flair. I won’t say anything bad about Flair though because anyone that is willing to “Wooo” after the Carolina Hurricanes score a goal is cool in my book. That’s right, for those who don’t know, Ric Flair comes up on the jumbotron at the RBC Center here in Raleigh after the Carolina Hurricanes score a goal and says “That’s another Carolina Hurricanes goal, WOOOOOOO (crowd wooos) WOOOOO.” I think it’s pretty cool myself. Now go stump all your friends in trivia.
Lets Talk TNA
So I managed to catch Impact this week while on vacation and I didn’t think it was that bad of an episode. Since I did not do a live report, I will recap the show with opinions and such.
*Monty Brown kills a jobber: I like how TNA is booking Monty Brown. Sure he is just beating jobbers but he’s not just beating them, he’s destroying them. It’s always fun to watch some poor sap take a beating. It’s like a retard fighting Mike Tyson (in his prime.) It seems wrong, but damn if it’s not funny while you’re watching.
*I’m so sick of 3LK. The only one with any in ring talent is Killings and he’s really the least important member. They just need to have BG and Kip turn on Konnan and Killings. Then have Konnan get pissed at Killings for not believing him. That way The New Age Outlaws are back, Konann can throw his shoes in singles matches, and Killings can break out. Until this happens, we are stuck with 4LK. As a side note, Konnan taking shots are Kips past was kind of funny.
*The Daniels video was pretty good and got the point across that he got…JACKED UP!
*AJ beat Sabin: They are really pushing this whole code thing now. AJ and Sabin exchanged handshakes and back offs all through out the match. I personally like the idea of the code, I think it adds something extra to the X Division and will add something extra to the AJ/Joe match. The way the set up the Styles Clash ending was awesome.
*I continue to like the Raven/Zybsko thing. The House Of Fun match this week should be pretty cool and something new that we haven’t seen in TNA in a while.
*Christian continues to cut a good promo. He vs. Monty Brown at the PPV should be a pretty decent match considering Christian is the man and Monty Brown is no slouch. Fitting AMW into the interview seemed pointless and not needed but if they roll with the storyline in the coming weeks and months then I have no problem with it. TNA seems to focus a lot on long term booking so I think the whole AMW/JJ/Christian thing will come back after Turning Point.
*Jeff Hardy beats Abyss: I don’t like Abyss losing this match. I think TNA would have been better off with Abyss beating Hardy to make him look like a monster when the barbed wire isn’t around and then have Sabu come out after the match with the wire and Abyss run off. They are building Abyss being scared nicely and hopefully it pays off at the PPV.
*The Rhino video package was nice but just didn’t seem long enough. I guess they can’t run a 5-minute video package with their limited time. Dividing it into 2 or 3 parts might have been a better idea but oh well.
*JJ beat Kip: Nothing real special here. I didn’t like how Gayda debuting. She just kind of came out of nowhere and started fighting with Gail Kim. I hope she or somebody else explains why she is in TNA and why she went after Gail to start it off. I thought Gayda would be better suited being the girl that everyone mentions around Raven but TNA doesn’t treat their fans as complete idiots. We all know that Gayda and Haas are married and saying Raven is dating Gayda would just be stupid so kudos to TNA for knowing that wrestling fans have a brain. It looks like we are stuck with another 4LK vs. Team Canada match at Turning Point. Let’s see what gimmick match they add to this one.
So as a said, it was a pretty good show all around. AJ/Sabin was a good match and many storylines were advanced. Turning Point is shaping up to be a really good PPV and It looks like I’ll spend 30 bucks on it.
The E-Mail Bag
Hi, I just read your column and it was a good read.
Only thing i disagree on, to an extent, is the Rhino vs Jarrett match for Turning Point. Part of me is thinking oh god, this is the 3rd time in less than 2 months, but on the other hand they have to feed Jarrett someone while they are building Raven and Monty for thier title shots.
I think since Rhino has gone to TNA he has shown that he is a lot better than some people have given him credit. People doubted his ability to have an entertaining match over 5 minutes, they doubted his overness. Listen to the crowd reaction of his title win and his match against Abyss. That match against Abyss was made by the crowd. If the crowd was mediocre this match would of been labelled as good and not great (as many have said) So i think Rhino is definately a worthy contendor in the meantime and is definately over (possibly thier most over face at the moment) while they build towards Monty vs Jarrett and/or Monty vs Raven. They very well may go with the King of The Mountain eventually with all the contendors vying for a title shot, like you mentioned.
Now i know your thinking…well what about Monty Brown’s title shot. Well as soon as the match was announced, and labelled as a ‘contendor’s match’ the first thing that came to mind was they were calling it this to add some sort of interest to a match which featured two competitors that had no heat with each other. By contendors match (i never saw the label ‘Number 1 Contendors Match’ used, only ‘Contendors Match’, correct me If i’m wrong) I think they meant it was a match between two heavyweights who want title shots to determine who would move up the ladder and one step closer to a shot, not necessarily getting thier shot straight away. In your defence though lots of people assumed it was a ‘Number 1 Contendors Match’ as i don’t believe the announcers explained the meaning behind it simply being called a Contedors match. Personally without the Number 1 bit included i assumed it wasn’t necessarily for a title shot. On top of this i think they are running an angle where Zybyzko is pressured by a lot of wrestlers asking for title shots by wrestlers that think they are hard done by. Raven not getting his re-match, Monty continually dominating without getting his shot ect. I don’t know where it’s going, but I think they are running some kind of angle on Zybyzko and his shoddy management skills.
Just a bit of information I remembered that you may be interested in. I read a recap of a recent Bret Hart interview where he said AJ Styles was one of the best in the business at the moment. I totally agree with your stance on him being one of the best, and think some people need to realise just cause he is a high flyer doesn’t mean he doesn’t know anything about psycology and how to have great matches. If the great Bret Hart can even respect AJ as a performer, a mat wrestler, maybe it’s time some of the smarks realised there is a place for high spots in wrestling and it doesn’t necessarily make a wrestler a ‘spot monkey’. I have seen quite a few matches, when AJ is given the time, where AJ spends the majority of the match grounded using a lot of mat wrestling, psycology, submissions and some great selling. Obviously if you see him in a 5 minute squash on Impact he only has a limited amount of time to use psycology and fit his spots in, these people need to watch some of AJ’s longer matches.
Keep up the good work,
-Lee
First off let me state that I have no problem with Rhino. I actually like him and I am glad to see him doing so well in TNA. I just think it’s a bit of overkill with Rhino/Jarrett but as I stated earlier, TNA books real well for the future so maybe holding off Brown, Raven, and Christian getting their shot is for the best right now.
I would check if it was a Number 1 contenders match but the TNA Website seems to be down right now. There are of course other sources but TNA is the only website that really determines if it was or wasn’t a Number 1 Contenders match so yeah.
I agree, watching AJ on Impact is nothing like watching him on a PPV.
Quick Hits
*Buy the Eminem CD Curtain Call when it comes out on Tuesday or I’ll have Vince McMahon come to your house and have him ridicule you while you do nothing.
*Joe Thornton being traded shows me that nobody is safe in the new NHL. Thornton was the face of the Bruins and they traded him away like he was just another player. Again, nobody is safe.
*Wooooo Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey split. Now Nick can show that he really is just a no talent waste of space that was clinging onto his wife’s career.
*Shawn Michaels book is the best fiction book I have ever read.
The End
It’s really late, I’m in a really down mood, I’m really heading to bed. Drop me a line at AMPLine4Life@aol.com and join me next time, At Ringside.
