Sorry for the delay I was out drinking last night. One word on I’m a Celebrity. Damn you for voting out Jenny. Sure, get rid of the hottest woman in there and one of the most fun people to watch. Come on Jimmy Osmond. Either him or Carol Thatcher would make me happy
Recap to start of the Smackdown Special (We didn’t get it here) Personally I thought the angle was pretty stupid, I’m sick of stuff blowing up instead of you know people getting real heat, but I’m not sure whether Eddie would be offended. I mean all they did was blow up a car. I actually think it’s quite nice for Rey to wrestle in honour of Eddie although I feel Chavo should be the one doing that.
We’re in Cincinnati tonight
Randy comes out with his daddy to do another “I killed Undertaker” promo. It’s actually a really good promo that gets mucho heat from the crowd. Orton’s arrogant heel character is one of the best out there. Randy says he deserves the World Title for winning so much recently, can’t argue with that even though some of his wins have been ultra lame. The casket match in particular made Randy look like a total loser. Randy says it’s destiny for him to win the title again, I remember when that was Rock’s catchphrase.
MNM come down to the ring to observe the next match and Melina is earth shatteringly hot tonight. I’m near to speechless. She does the splits on the table in front of Taz and Cole. Lucky bastards!
#1 contenders battle royal
LOZ Vs Mexicools Vs Scotty and Funaki Vs The Dicks Vs London and Spanky Vs FBI
I’ll just do eliminations as I hate doing PBP on battle Royals
First team out is FBI
Second out is Heidenreich by Animal by accident
The lights go weird as we got to a commercial
Scotty went during the break
London takes a mega bump from the top to eliminate him
Mexicools win soon after
JBL is with Josh Matthews. He says he will defend Smackdown against Big Show and Kane. He calls it “his show” I can’t believe “WRESTLING GOD” isn’t on a t-shirt yet. The video screen starts bleeding for some reason
Booker T and Sharmel come out to do commentary. He brags about his 2-0 lead in the BO7
Chris Fucking Benoit Vs William Regal
Oh yeah this is going to be good and very brutal. I wonder how much hard way blood will be in this one. Lock up leads to a stand off. Benoit targets the arm to start and ends up switching to a Sharpshooter. Regal fights him off and pounds away. Regal starts to dominate and sends Benoit outside where Benoit takes some shots into the apron. Back inside Regal goes to a surfboard really slowly. This is more like a World of Sport match than a typical quick paced American match. Regal drops Benoit throat first on the apron and kicks his head into the ring post. Now you’re talking that’s some high quality British Beatingâ¾Ã‚¢. Benoit chops away but can’t get the Sharpshooter. Regal gets a running high knee for two. Booker is actually pretty funny on commentary as he tries to sound smart but clearly isn’t. Benoit chops Regal in the FACE but walks into a couple of T-Bones. Forearm gets two for Regal as he tenaciously keeps going to the cover. Benoit gets some ultra stiff head butts and goes to the Germans. Both guys are bleeding now. Dragon Suplex leads to the cross face and Benoit gets the win
WINNER – BENOIT
*** – started slow but got really good towards the end. Benoit jumps Booker post match and cross faces him as he’s ANGRY. Sharmel tries to chair Benoit but he chases her off. Benoit is awesome in this feud and keeps carrying his end brilliantly and Booker is even doing a good job now.
Randy is backstage and says that he will beat Matt Hardy and if Batista doesn’t give him a title shot he’ll spit in his face
Randy Orton w/ Bucks McGraw Vs Matt Hardy
Lock up and Randy goes to the front face lock. Matt goes to a side headlock and that leads to a leapfrog segment and Matt gets some arm drags. Matt goes to the arm lock but Orton goes to the eyes and gets a dropkick for two. Randy goes to the chin lock as Matt struggles to actually make the move look important. Randy misses a knee drop but gets an elbow for two. Back to the chin lock but Matt fights out again and lariats Orton outside. Matt gets a vaulting body press and gets two from it back inside. Bob gets involved but Matt gets a Side Effect for two. No one buys that as a viable match winner anymore thanks to things such as that. Matt misses the moonsault and Randy snaps off an RKO for the win
WINNER – RANDY ORTON
** – Fun old school style match. Post match the lights go all weird and Undertaker challenges Orton to Hell in a Cell. Well hopefully that will be Orton’s big clean win. Randy keeps trying to run away selling this awesomely. I say if Batista is going to have to leave for surgery then give the belt to Randy. It couldn’t do any harm and he’s been a great heel recently. I don’t know why they feel the need to have Taker work such a dangerous match. I assume Orton will be taking a Shawn Michaels like Cell bump. Hey he got thrown on thumbtacks, why not the cell? Bring back the cell bump for old times sake
Backstage Randy is begging Teddy to cancel the match but Teddy says there’s nothing he can do
Diva Search loser Krystal interviews Simon Dean who is the jobber meat for Bogeyman tonight. Bogeyman shows up and starts eating worms. Oh dear god
Simon Dean Vs Zeus ahem sorry The Bogeyman
Security has to drag Simon down to the ring for the match. It’s like on Celebrity Deathmatch with the fan of FANDIMONIUM and security won’t let Adam Sandler or Chris Rock leave the ring. “The Bottomless Pit” is one of the cooler hometowns I’ve heard of in a while. Simon is hilarious as terrified cowardly heel. Bogey annihilates him in short order with a power slam style move.
Video package of Italian tour
Lashley Vs Sylvan the Evil Model
Lashley gets his usual awesome squash in and is over to say the least. Sylvan gets some token offence in here and there but it doesn’t last long and Big Black Dominator finishes it soon after
The Hell in a Cell match at Armageddon is made official.
Big Show and Kane Vs Rey Mysterio and JBL
JBL and Kane start and it’s punches for everyone! JBL gets a big boot and an elbow. Kane bails and Rey gets a seated senton. Kane gets his own big boot and tags in Show but JBL fights off both of them and gets a chop block on Big Show. JBL gets a top rope shoulder block for two. Show gets a head butt and tags out. JBL gets worked over but manages a tag to Rey who promptly gets demolished. JBL gets a finger to the eye inadvertently from the ref and rolls outside. JBL leaves to the back and you can smell the beating coming.
Commercial
We’re back and Rey is getting pounded to oblivion by Kane-Show. Fans chant for Batista as Show targets the ribs, even standing on Rey. Show continues to destroy Rey but thanks to some miscommunication Rey is able to mount some form of a comeback. Rey tries to chop Show down and he finally does. 619’s for both big guys but he’s caught on a springboard and Double Choke Slam ends it
WINNERS – BIG SHOW AND KANE
*1/2 – really great gutsy performance from Rey and the heat for his comeback was something to behold. Batista makes the save from the post match beat down. It’s Spine Busters and chair shots for everyone, two for one special!
That’s the show. Good show this week but there were too many squash matches. Regal/Benoit was their usual solid match though and Orton/Hardy was a barrel of fun.
