WWE ByteThis! Report for December 7th 2005

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ByteThis! Recap
12/7/05
Hosted by – Todd Grisham
Michael PS Hayes and Randy Orton as guests

I’m very sad for Lex Luger. I’m not sure why exactly, I just am. See I met Lex when I was about 15 during his Lex Express Tour in Sacramento at Waterworld USA. He was on a journey across our great land on a mission to eventually kill WWF champion Yokozuna and rule the world. Of course that defeat never really came to pass due to Luger being a total drug addict and Lex would eventually go on to kill our beloved Miss Elizabeth and become one of the most completely worthless pro wrestlers of all time, but I digress. The Total Package? He actually had some of us believing his shit back in the 90’s! He got arrested yesterday on two drug charges and something else. I hate seeing people who seem to have everything. Who seem have have the world in the palm of their hands just piss it all away. We’ve all seen it happen far too many times. Lex Luger does it again. He was so cool when I was kid and now he’s a loser, a sad shell of his former shelf. Get off the drugs Flexy! Sober up – cut your f*cking hair cause you’re bald and try not to take it up the ass to hard while your in the slammer! Can you imagine the looks on the other convicts faces when Lex Fucking Luger, former NWA Champion walks into the general pop of some County jail in Minnesota? He’s been arrested for DUI’s, and for being a deadbeat Dad too! No wonder Lex made such a natural heel!

So I was flipping through the channels last night and came upon a special WWF/E Fear Factor from around 2001. With Jeff and Matt Hardy, Molly Holly, Lita, Test and Jacqueline all vying for coveted reality show victory! It was a nice way to kill an hour. After – gosh! – climbing a ladder, eating some gross shit and running some tall logs Mr. Mattitude, Version 1 punked out Jackie for the win. What a cool episode! And just another reminder why Test is such a blowhard asswipe.

Speaking of Testicle, his ex-girlfriend one Stacey Kiebler will be joining the dancing troupe over there on ABC’s Dancing With The Stars. Never watched it before. The only thing that was slightly drawing me to the show earlier this year was J. Peterman from Seinfeld. What’s his name again? Anyway, I may have to keep an eye on the show just to see those damned hot legs. I hope Stacey makes it huge mainstream, surpasses the Rock and steals Vince Vaughn away from that tramp Jennifer Aniston!

And the f*ckers in the E have gone ahead and released f*cking Tajiri now too! WTF! Tajiri is one of the few really cool workers left in the company from the old ECW days. Sure, he just did his hundreth job to Triple H this past Monday on Raw, but their is no denying he’s a helluva talent. We all know it! Apparently, Tajiri asked for his release. Some of the workers have sort of “lost their smile” since Eddie passed on, and Taj is going to return to Japan and be with his family. I hope he doesn’t retire completely. Most guys never do, I guess. His final WWE match may be this coming Monday on Raw. If there’s a God, he’ll win with an assist from the green mist.

Well, I attempted to watch Live and Direct on MSNBC to see how the WWE guys and gals were doing over there in AfghanasomelongcountryiwillnevergotoTAN – but the tipsy pilots over on a Southwest flight coming into Chicago decided to just fly the plane right off the runway and for some reason it all caused quite a commotion. So much so that Keith Olberman broke into Rita’s show twice with Breaking News and thereby interrupted the GREAT and POWERFUL Shawn Michaels and causing us all to take one step closer to eternal damnation. Actually, it looks like they’re having a good time entertaining our troops. Raw on the 19th will feature a Boot Camp match between HBK and Triple H in the main event. Rita needs a new voicebox as bad as Greta Van Sustern needed a new face a few years ago.

So okay, on to the actual show…

WWE Timeline video – just a snippet of Eddie…

The World Is Watching…Desperate Housewives.

Todd welcomes everyone to the show. He talks about the guests Randy Orton and Michael Hayes. He recaps Raw which you all already pretty much know about already I would think. And he goes to the phones right off the bat…

Caller wants to talk to Randy Orton, instantly proving to be a total dork. With age will come wisdom and sooner or later Randy Orton will also fizzle out, get bald and kill a sexy valet too. Maybe Melina.

A video montage of the Trial of Eric Bischoff. Three minutes and we’re out of here…

A caller thinks Todd should be the new General Manager. Well, let’s just make Steve Romero the GM of Smackdown too.

Check out Velocity and Heat this weekend on wwe.com and spend all your holiday cash $$$ on WWE merchandise. It helps the economy and brightens the faces of children on Christmas morning.

The Undertaker is sooooo scary. See him do more scary things tonight on Smackdown!

If no one gets me the Wrestlemania Anthology for Christmas, then I will have buy the damned thing myself. Free is much better.

WWE 24-7: Invite Jake Roberts over for a day of crack smoking and wrasslin’ watchin’!

Randy Orton joins the show. Have I mentioned I hate him?

Orton is his normal heelish self for this show. Intent upon killing the Legend of the Undertaker once and for all at Hell in the Cell.

Caller wants to know why Randy is getting into a HITC match with Taker since it’s one of his most succesful gimmick matches. Randy’s doing it because he can!

Caller wants to know how Orton will prepare the his match against the Dead Man. I imagine Randy will f*ck lots of hot 19 year old college girls to prepare for his grueling battle with Mean Mark.

Caller asks Randy why he’s so intent on beating Taker – Orton says it’s because he’s The Legend Killer.

Can you imagine what would have happened if Mike Awesome took his Lady Killer persona this seriously?

Randy leaves – ’cause he’s worthless.

That Cutting Edge part of Raw was great. Here’s to hoping it’s stays just as controversial from here on out!

Michael PS Hayes calls in after the break.

Caller asks Hayes if he’s going to get Edge next Monday. He says no and that he won’t stand idly by if Edge continues his prickish ways.

Hayes talks shit about the tag division and how the teams don’t ride together and this generation really is too entitled and f*cked up.

Caller asks Michael what the best part of his career was. He says the part where I end up at a bar after the show.

Todd asks Hayes if he thinks Edge will ever the World champion – Michael says he’s got the physical presence but doesn’t have the mental toughness. He thinks Edge’s whole career will be defined as “I screwed my ex-best friends chick while he was rehabbing.”

Again – God Bless Michael Hayes.

Commercials – that’s all the E really is.

Trivia time!

Who did RKo beat to win his first IC title? Winner gets a Bret DVD.

Caller one – guesses Chris Benoit – wrong!

Caller two – guesses RVD at Armageddon 2003, which is correct.

Another caller says he wants STONECOLD STEVE AUSTIN to be the next GM. See, Dawn I mentioned Austin just for you!

Dusty Rhodes is the next GM – mark my words!
Caller tell The Grish to enter the 2006 Royal Rumble like Coach did this year.

Todd predicts the Undertaker will win the Hell in the Cell match. Todd also thinks that Kurt Angle will eventually beat Cena for the WWE title on Raw. He also alludes to a Cena heel turn.

A caller asks Toady the Host about TNA, he says the company is good and great but they can’t match up with the Corporate Monster that is the WWE. He says it is nice to have competition.

Todd says ByteThis is the top webcast show for the company.

And that’s about it for the show this week. Randy Orton is a complete putz. The Freebird was cool though – I respect the hell out of Michael Hayes.

Did you all watch Impact last night on Spike? It was more of the same good stuff TNA has been producing lately. Samoa Joe totally annhilated Amazing Red, huh! Crazy shit it is. Smackdown will be my entertainment tonight. Have a good weekend and you can all BYTE me!