Well, I was at the tapings last week, hopefully you read that special report, so why not follow up with a NeelDown of this week’s?
Actually I’m just doing this because Rob can’t do his official report this week, but what the hell…
– From South Carolina
– Hosts are Cole & Tazz
JBL has a patch over his eye and says that he wants to thank everyone for their support since his injury. He says that his doctor told him to quit, but he isn’t. He says what hurt him most was that the people think that he quit on Rey, but he fought through it, the reason they lost was because Rey didn’t do his part. JBL says the smart thing to do would be to retire, but the Wrestling God isn’t. Another good segment by JBL, but cue Rey with the worst music over. What cha gonna do when you hear this gay ass music…
JBL v. Rey Mysterio
JBL tosses him around to start and slugs away in the corner. Rey slides through the legs and gets a dropkick then slugs away. Rey POKES JBL IN THE BAD EYE dear lord, then gives him the 10 punches. JBL starts to leave but Mysterio springs out with a plancha. Rey tries a springboard headbut on the way inside but JBL dodges it. Rey comes back with a headscissors putting JBL into 619 position, but as he ran for it Orlando Jordan came in and clothselined Rey. Dave Batista makes the save and JBL and OJ bail. Teddy Long comes out and makes the main event JBL and OJ against Rey Mysterio and Dave.
1/4*… I guess that didn’t make much sense to me. I didn’t even know the “Chief of Staff” Jordan was still around, since there isn’t a Cabinet anymore, I guess I thought he was just being used a Velocity/dark match jobber and JBL was going solo for a while. Oh well.
And seriously, after they’ve gave these two a SmackDown and PPV recently in the past, they really don’t have anything new to offer in another match against each other.
– Orton and Cowboy Bob Oldton say that Taker needs to stop with the mindgames. In return, Orton’s entrance video plays on the titantron with various fast forwarding and rewinding going on. Orton begs Taker to come out and the lights go out, and we see on TV the various worn out Taker promo, like dark quotes from people like Ralph Emerson and various Taker highlights such as Mankind falling off the cage. Taker then does the voice over announcer thing he did last week and says to enjoy the ride to hell. Nothing we haven’t seen before.
– Diva search LOSER Crystal tries to get a Booker interview but Sharmell doesn’t like it. Booker gives her one anyway, and he draws the current Booker-Benoit score on a dry erase board, which is Booker 2-0.
And what the hell is up with the diva search LOSERS? Why would you even care about winning the diva searches when a good portion of the LOSERS get jobs too? Hell, some of them even get more than the winners. Christy Hemme, winner of the first diva search, is now in OVW. Candice Michelle, a loser from the first diva search, is now one of the main top divas, gets matches nearly every RAW, and is posing for Playboy. The same goes for Maria who lost and is on more than the 2nd search winner Ashley. The same went for SmackDown search losers like Michelle McCool, and now Crystal. Don’t forget Joy and Amy too. LOSERS.
Joey Mercury v. Super Crazy
But no one really cares about the match, but rather Melina and her yellow skirt outfit. Super Crazy gets a pair of hip tosses and tries a whip but Mercury bails, so Crazy tires an Asagi Moonsault, but lands on his feet as Mercury dodges it, then Merrcury clothselines him down. Back in Mercury gets a powerbomb then a second rope leg drop for 2. Mercury thinks he dumped Crazy, but he didn’t fall out, and Crazy gets the step up dropkick, and another. Mercury back drops Crazy onto the apron, but he jumps up top and hits a Missile Dropkick for 2. Mercury gets a double first drop and goes for a neckbreaker but Crazy dodges it and gets a Tornado DDT off the 2nd rope. Nitro tries to knocks Crazy off the top rope, but as he pushes him off Crazy moonsaults onto Mercury for the win.
Winner: Super Crazy
** Hey, for one of those matches with members of each tag team which are about to fight at the PPV, it was pretty decent.
Afterwards Kid Kash attacks Juventud and hits a brainbuster, one Mexicool gets pulled out then MNM SnapShot one of the other Mexicool.
Meanwhile Randy Orton is washing his hands and sees Taker in the mirrior, but turns around and he’s not there.
Mr. Kennedey’s music hits, but Mr. Network says that he can’t be here. He says that he has a suitable replacement, and it’s The Boogeyman. Damn.
The Boogeyman v. Ray Gordy
Boogeyman puts a handful of nightcrawlers in his mouth like it’s a can of Skoal, then gives Gordy the Pumphandle Slam for the win. He then spits the worms on Gordy’s face.
Winner: Boogeyman
-*** about as worse as a squash you could get, 1 move only and it’s over. And I’m sure we still have Lashley tonight.
3 matches in 45 minutes, I predict a long Benoit bout and main event.
Booker T v. Chris Benoit – Match 3 in best of 7 series
Benoit starts off working the left arm but Benoit gets the rope and takes a breather outside. He goes back in and gets a slam on Benoit and they exchange chops. Benoit gets an elbow out of the corner and chops away. Benoit rolls the snake eyes and chops Booker down. Snap suplex by Benoit and more chops. Booker gets a sidekick and back suplexes Benoit. Booker goes for another back suplex but Benoit floats over on top of him for 2. Benoit blocks a whip and germans Booker for 2 as he got the foot on the second rope. Running forearm by Benoit gets 2. Backbreaker by Benoit gets 2. Another cover by Benoit gets 2. Man, so many people are mimicking Regal these days. Booker manages to drop Benoit over the top ropes to get some resting time. Booker sends him to the ropes and gets a shoulder block for 2. Booker taunts and gets chopped in return. Benoit chops him down to the mat for 2. Benoit with more chops in the corner. I know these two in a match is a chop fan’s dream, but this is getting to be overkill. Booker sends him to the corner and gets a high kick from behind. Booker locks in an front headlock but Benoit stands and knees out of it. Benoit tries a charge but Booker lfits him up for a spinebuster and rams him into the corner. Booker drops him onto the apron and shoulders him off to the floor. Booker slams his head on the apron a few times, then rolls him in for 2. Booker locks in a rear naked choke to further bore the fans. Benoit gets to his feet but gets kneed down. Booker gets a pair of elbows and chops. Benoit blocks a suplex and hits one of his own for 2. Booker gets a sidekick and goes for the scissor kick but misses, and Benoit goes for the hat trick of germans, but Booker blocks the third and gets a spinebuster for 2. Booker goes up top but Benoit meets up with headbuts. Superplex by Benoit, but Booker kicks out at 2. Benoit back up top, SWAN DIVE OF DEATH hits but Booker kicks out at 2. I guess it wasn’t OF DEATH then, just SWAN DIVE. The ref gets bumped, and Benoit goes for the hat trick of germans again, but Booker blocks the third, so Benoit locks in the crossface. Booker taps but the ref is out, Sharmell comes in with a chair but Benoit gets up. This allows Booker to nail Benoit with the chair and hit the scissor kick, ref counts it and gets the three putting Booker up 3-0.
Winner: Booker T
***, better than the first, worse than the second, but overral a good TV match.
Bobby Lashley v. William Regal
Lashley pummels him to start, but Birchill pulls Regal out of the way on a blind charge and Regal slugs and kicks away. Regal gets an exploder suplex for 2 then sends Lashley to the corner, but Lashley gets a belly to belly. Lashley gices Regal a delayed back drop suplex then another belly to belly. Lashley hits the Dominator for the win.
Winner: Bob
1/4*
Oh for f*ck’s sake… they give SYLVAN more of a chance against Lashley than REGAL? They actually let Sylvan make a match out of the Lashley squash last week, but Regal is only allowed to get one suplex in, and he needed to cheat to gain advantage in the match? I have no further comments.
Orton tries to leave, but his car won’t open and it drives off. Josh Matthews tries to interview Orton, but Orton imagines Matthews talking in Taker’s voice.
JBL & Orlando Jordan v. Batista & Rey Mysterio
Batista and Jordan start, and Batista takes control. Couple of shoulders by Batista and he tags in Rey who springs in with a senton. Rey pulls the ropes down and Jordan flies outside, JBL gets in and gets knocked down. Batista clotheslines JBL out, and Rey hits a baseball slide knocking JBL and OJ out. Back in Jordan has an arm wringer locked on on Batista, but he fights out and tags in Rey who knocks OJ down with a springboard. Rey hits a headscissors and OJ tags in JBL. Rey goes for a sunset flip, JBL tries a punch but punches the canvas. Rey goes for t he 619 on JBL, but he rolls out to block out. Rey springs out and lands on his feet, Jillian smacks him, JBL big boots Rey. Hey, gotta get the job down somehow. JBL slams Rey head-first on the announce table and rolls him in for two. JBL shoulders Rey’s injured ribs and hands Rey on the top rope. JBL punches the injured ribs then hits a top rope fallaway slam for two as Batista breaks it up. Side bearhug applied by JBL. Rey is able to get out of it with a bulldog and Jordan gets tagged in. OJ gets a swinging beckbreaker and stomps the back of Rey. ORLANDO SHUFFLE in the corner on Rey, and a hard whip into the turnbuckle gets 2. Orlando locks in a reverse bearhug on Rey’s injured ribs. He takes it to the ground and Rey elbows and gets to his feet. Jordan holds onto the ropes and Rey misses a dropkick. Jordan tags in JBL who slugs away in the corner. JBL sets him up top but Rey fights him off with a headbut to the bad eye. Rey hits a Tornado DDT and both men are down. They both tag out, and Batista cleans house on the faces. JBL gets a boot however and goes for the Clothseline From Hell but Batista ducks it and hits a spinebuster. Outside Orlando sends Batista into the steel pole. Mysterio on JBL in the ring, Jillian tries hitting Rey with her clip board but the ref scouts it, Rey sets JBL and Jillian into 619 position and hits a double 619. JBL all of a sudden grabs his leg and falls down, then rolls out and stumbles like he tore his ACL. JBL goes to the back selling the injury, and Mysterio hits the 619 on Jordan. Spinebuster to Jordan. Batista Bomb to Jordan gets the win.
Winners: Batista & Mysterio
**1/4 You had to think they would give the faces the win going on to face Kane & Big Slow, and putting that ending asside it was an okay TV main event.
This show was pretty throwaway on the wrestling end, the only real match that really meant anything was the Benoit-Booker match 3. The main event hyped the Armaggedon tag match, the Mercury-Crazy matches hyped the Tag Team Championship, plenty of Orton-Taker stuff, and the other matches were squashes.
Thanks for reading, and you’ll see me tommorow night.
