The Crucifix

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Yeah, I’m late as hell this week, but whatever. At least I’m not covering Raw. I think Eric would kill me if I did that. Or he was pissed about the spoilers. Either way, I’m not f*cking with a former soldier. Or a meat inspector. So let’s see what’s going on in the world. Not just the world of wrestling, NO, the WORLD…

– Lex Luger is in jail on a drug charge and a fugitive from justice charge. Funny thing is they forgot the murder charge, because you know he killed Liz. But look at that report and substitute “a bar” for “plane” and you have the beginning to a funny joke. C’mon, don’t think for one second that if someone didn’t come up to you and say, “Ok so Lex Luger, Scott Steiner and Marcus Bagwell walk into a bar…” you would be really scared at how that joke would end. I can think of three ways:

a) Liz dies
b) Somebody gets deflated by a dart
c) Somebody wins the bars world title

– Tajiri has been released from the company, which is odd because he signed a new contract like 5 minutes before he got released. Apparently he was burnt out and Guerrero’s death hit him pretty hard. Well, all the best to Tajiri from me. He was always used improperly in WWE in my opinion.

– Speaking of Guerrero, I finally got his DVD in the mail today and took a watch. Good DVD. Two things stood out, and actually were said in the span of like 10 seconds.

“I don’t want to find out in the morning that my friend is in a hotel room, dead.” – Dean Malenko

Additionally, when Eddie was sent home, he came into the arena in Minneapolis and was in such bad shape that that is when management finally noticed and tried to get him some help. Weird, slightly ominous, everyone get the f*ck out of Minneapolis.

Also, Eddie’s autopsy results came back, and the word is that he died of heart disease, which may have been caused by a history of anabolic steroid use. On top of that, it was noted that Eddie had recently taken narcotic pain relievers.

On that note, I think we may be looking at something fishy. I’m not a conspiracy theorist, but look at it like this: Eddie dies, but everyone says he’s been clean for 4 years. Paragon of virtue. So Vince and WWE institute this new drug policy because they feel it is right based on what happened in Eddie’s past. At least that’s what they say out loud. In hushed whispers in Connecticut, you know somebody said “Oh…ummm…f*ck.” My guess is that WWE knew about Eddie falling off the wagon (I’m not accusing, I’m guessing that he fell off) and chose to look the other way due to the current structure of the card, which they have themselves to blame. They figured the guy got into a huge car wreck, OD’d twice and still didn’t die, so they could let it slide until the card gets stronger and then they’d release him, he’d come back, big inspiration again, yadda yadda. If this is true, I hope Congress comes knock knock knocking on Vince’s door.


Fun With Pictures

Well, just two pictures. I figured since Edge is the “Rated R Superstar”, Lita had to be rated too!

Additionally, I think everyone should get this video game:


Turning Point

– Nope, didn’t see it. Hell, I’ve been begging you guys for presents, you think I have money for PPVs? By the way, I am currently rocking out to Johnny Cash and will soon be tick tocking with 24 due to your kindness. Those who have bought me stuff will be in this column very soon with their own year in review. Off topic, sorry…

So Turning Point was last night and it marked the semi-return of Sting. Semi because he left his gear there but forgot to show up. Apparently he was given a $500,000 a year contract and it will change wrestling. Ok…no. Sting is basically retired, his only real worth is in WWE, where he won’t go, and this will serve to piss off people in the TNA locker room. Monty Brown is already being pushed down the card like a little bitch; Christian will blow off his feud with Jarrett quickly and without a win and for what reason? Because Sting of all people has come back to TNA?

Face it, if Sting weren’t coming back to TNA he wouldn’t be doing crap, his name would become really worthless and he’d be wrestling at Bar Mitzvahs in a couple of years. The guy is a born again Christian and he be at BAR MITZVAHS!

I can see why TNA made this move, but that doesn’t mean I agree with it. If TNA wanted to offer big money and make an “iMPACT”, they should’ve offered it to Benoit. If Sting wanted to up his value and make some good coin while cementing a legacy, he should’ve called Vince up and asked him to team him up with HBK and call the team “The Red Sea”. That would’ve been cool.


Now to some world news: Stanley “Tookie” Williams will die tonight at 12:01am after Gov. Terminator denied him clemency, and he did the right thing.

Various celebrities and other people have been petitioning for Arnold to grant Tookie clemency because he has helped kids while in prison. He has done so via writing children’s books against gang violence. By the way, he started the Crips gang. And killed 4 people. But he shouldn’t die. He has been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. Anybody can be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. I’m sure that Eric and Widro could nominate me for a Nobel Prize if they so desired.

Fact: The man killed 4 people, as decided by a jury (which was all white, to be fair) and he was sentenced to death. He has never apologized and always said he was innocent. Now God decides that when he dies tonight.

My 7th grade teacher Sr. Dominic always said this and I think it’s appropriate: “Good riddance to bad rubbish.”


That’s all for me. But before I go I would like to extend my condolences to the family and friends of Officer Daniel Enchautegui of the NYPD. He was gunned down by two pieces of garbage while off duty and trying to help the community by investigating a robbery. Hopefully those who did this to him will receive the same fate as “Tookie”. Adios!