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Why Tyra Will Never Be Oprah

Tyra is trying so hard to be the next “Oprah” but it’s never going to happen. Y’see Tyra is too damn attractive. Huge forehead notwithstanding, chances are Tyra is going to be hotter than her target audience. And while every woman has a “hot” friend, she’s secretly envious of that friend and kind of hates her. That’s Tyra.

Oprah, on the other hand is, um, less hot. And every woman has a friend that makes them look more attractive by comparison, which is perfectly the role that Oprah fills. Oprah is like that less attractive friend that women feel comfortable with. Tyra is that friend that women have that they secretly feel their competing with.

It’s sad but it’s true.

What I Watched Last Week

Sleeper Cell – I only watched Sunday’s episode (I taped the rest) and I’m still impressed. I felt bad for the chemistry student who got hung out to dry. Christian is such a vile character that he’s almost likeable. The scene when Darwyn goes to the kindergarten class was unintentionally hilarious. I really dug the kid’s follow up question; “um why do Muslims fly planes into buildings?” Poor Darwyn was asked tougher questions that the President.

NY-Lon – Nice to see Edie finally tell folks about her relationship with Michael. This episode also did a great deal to humanize Michael. His bond with his nephew was quite touching. I also love how the show continues to utilize the “this is what happened to the other character during the same period of time” device.

Gray’s Anatomy – Ah a Christmas episode. Izzy lost major points for being so bitter, but she did gain some back when she and Alex were alone. McDreamy’s admission to his wife that he still loved Meredith was a powerful moment, but real as hell (that’s why McDreamy is the man.) I’m worried that Burke is losing a lot of what I like about his character (his independence, his focus, his borderline arrogance) and really just becoming a character in Christina’s story. That distresses me.

It was dope to see George tell off Supergirl’s family. Great moment in the character of George. I’m also digging how the pregnancy is progressing. I like the way the writers are balancing her role as resident hard ass and showing that she is indeed human. This is perhaps the most consistent show on the air right now.

The Boondocks – I don’t know, I guess I just expected more from a Mos Def guest appearance. Sure he’s poking fun at stereotypical MC’s, but it was just so tame. I mean there was the extended disclaimer which really built up the anticipated “poking of fun at a known rapper” and then there was nothing. The gay stuff almost made up for it, but it still fell flat.

Reunion – I’ve yet to watch this week’s episode, but last week’s was so extra that I’m glad the show got the axe. Thus I present you with five reasons why I love watching a show that I hate;

1. How Are They Going to Frame The Flashback? – Last week it came via the son of a person who was killed over a decade ago. Oh wait, that’s the entire series up to this point. But last week’s was special because it was the son of a woman that Sam misdiagnosed in 1993. No, that’s not extra at all.

2. How Many Surprise Babies Are There? – Sam and Will had one. Aaron and his French one night stand have one. But I suppose it’s not uncommon for love children to just happen.

3. Complete and Utter Disbelief at Will and Craig’s Relationship – Um, didn’t Will try to break up Craig and Sam’s wedding? Didn’t Will give Craig’s pop over to the feds? Didn’t Will do a bid for Craig? How exactly are these two still friends?

4. The Music – Sometimes it’s actually good.

5. Trying to Figure Out Where the Money Goes – It’s obviously not in the writing staff. Equally apparent, is the lack of funds diverted to the make up budget. I’ve narrowed it down to gambling debts and massive drug habit.

Kitchen Confidential – So, I finally watched, what appears to be the final episode of the show that’s going to air. It’s a shame because it was really funny. It was as decent enough portrayal of life in a restaurant and had some very good writing. The acting was equally solid. This is certainly going to be one of those shows that will have fans lamenting it’s passing years from now.

The Office – Found an episode that I missed while watching a tape. It’s a funny show, but I’m worried about it’s move to Thursday. That’s a tough market, and I’m not sure the show is strong enough to handle the threats. But I’ll be watching or at least taping.

My Name is Earl – I had missed Joy’s wedding, but this repeat was pretty funny. I do believe that Randy and I are of the same mind when it comes to, well, you know. Earl’s got some mean pop-locking moves and Jamie appears to be able to act. Still, I’m worried about this show moving as well.

Nip/Tuck – Anyone who’s read this column before knows that this show is an example of my definition of “extra.” A woman having a calcified fetus in her body for 15 years, a medical oddity. That fetus being the result of her having an affair, extra! Julia and Sean deciding not to go half on a A-B (apologies to R. Kelly) was certainly in the Christmas spirit and a nice way to put the two back together. Q admitting that he never shagged Julia, seemed to be mandated by the creators so that Julia and Sean could continue their marital discord dance.

If there’s one thing I hate it’s a half-assed Aryan. Matt was down to steal Jesus, but not into whitening of skin (on either level). Boo. And the rain washing off the paint seemed just a bit corny to me. But the preview for next week seems interesting. The Carver actually removing Kimber’s implants is downright creepy. I’m still guessing that it’s Jude.

Greatest Show Ever…this week – Arrested Development

C’mon, really! Did you expect something else to be in this position? FOX hasn’t canceled it, yet. It may live on on Showtime or ABC, if it does get the axe. Plus the show is insanely funny. George Michael’s light saber antics being used to help fight TBA, genius. Michael finally getting a clue as to Rita’s deal, comedy. James Lipton as the prison warden, best casting ever (although it’s not going to boost ratings much). Seriously, if you’re reading this column and you don’t watch this show, you’ve got some ‘splaining to do.

Is it January yet?

I’m looking forward to January like most kids are anticipating December 25th right about now. And it’s all because of two shows; The Shield and 24.

I’m pretty pumped about 24. The show really does toss a lot into the blender and press “puree.” For instance there’s the new status quo set up by last season; there is not Jack Bauer. Plus there’s also the issue of which cast members will return and for how long. Oh and there’s also the matter of what threat is going to occupy Jack’s attention for the whole day.

I’m kind of leery because since Jack supposed to be dead, his return to action will most likely mean a reunion with his daughter, and her storylines always suck. I’m also worried that some of the characters that I’ve grown fond of are going to be killed off. Eh, I’m still looking forward to it.

But I’m far more hyped about The Shield. Seriously, I’m like just a notch below “Gloomchen.” I like the “gray area” that this show resides in. I enjoy the dark and complex characters that inhabit “The Barn.” Last year they had a casting coup with Glen Close and, at least in my book, this year is even better as Forrest Whitaker joins the cast as a guy from Internal Affairs.

Judging from the images of the cop that Vic shot in the first episode of the series, I’m guessing that Whitaker’s character was close to him and has made this a personal mission. I mean, he’s even turning the screws on Aceveda to get to Vic. January 10th can’t arrive fast enough.

Links

Last week, Josh decried TV shows on the big screen. I can’t say that I disagree.

DeeDee spills the beans on Nip/Tuck.

J.A.M.

J” is for Joe Reid who shares his 2005 Mix you, and also provides a prime example of “when blogging goes wrong.” But hey, even the best fall down some times.

Joe also goes over his pics for the Golden Globes at The Film Experience

A” is for Aaron’s got news on another Flavor Flav reality show, Snoop’s marketability, and Meth’s versatility. I’m going to have to reread the column, because I think I missed the obligatory jab at Meth’s failed sitcom.

(And since we’re talking “obligatory” and “Method Man”, I met the guy, once.)

Aaron also shows up to give his Hip Hop Essentials. It’s an interesting read, though I think it does lack in rap of the Canadian variety.

And that’s it. I’m out. Later.