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Everybody keep Rob in their thoughts and prayers, as he is attending to a family member’s death thus enabling him to do the SmackDown report.

– Opening Contest

The Boogeyman v. Nunzio
Boogey’s entrance wastes the first 10 minutes of the show, until Boogey takes down Nunzio with shoulders. The SD locker room is shown watching the match backstage, and now Boogey takes a mouthful of the worms. Tazz: “And those are worms there, those ain’t chocolate worms.” Thanks for that anaylsis, Tazz. Boogey hits the pumphandle for the win.
-*

Meanwhile, Cowboy Bob Oldton is giving Orton advice to win the HIAC, and Orton agrees.

Orton is visiting a psychiatrist and is telling him that he is afraid of the cell. He tells Orton that he has to make a life or death decision, and Orton ponders as we cut into Batista backstage.

Melina interupts him and wants him to let MNM use the time tonight to prepare for the Mexicools match instead of having to face Rey and him tonight. Melina then gets on his lap and they make out. Well, I guess that’s one way of getting it done.

Kid Kash v. Super Crazy
Kash goes on the attack until Crazy gets a monkey flip and some hip tosses. Super Crazy gets a heel kick and Kash goes to the apron, then drops his neck over the top rope, then goes on the attack in the ring. Super Crazy fights back but Kash drops his head over his knee and kicks Crazy down, even with a non-running shining wizard. Crazy blocks a neckbreaker and gives Kash a titlawhirl backbreaker and pair of dropkicks for two. Running tornado DDT by Crazy, then goes for the moonsault but misses it, and Kash hits the brainbuster for the win.
*3/4, an okay little cruiser match setting up the Juvi-Kash match Sunday.

Meanwhile Orton tells Cowboy Bob Olton that he has made a decision.

Apparently that was enough time for Dave and Melina to do it, and Melina says thay have a deal right, and in return Dave says “Thanks for the warmup, I’m going to go kill those guys.” Talk about a backfire.

Hey, they’re making a Shrek fighting game? I just saw the commercial for Shrek Summer Slam. Looks very Super Smash Brothers-ish. Hey, it could turn out to be a fun game, you never know.

MNM v. Batista & Rey Mysterio – Tag Team Championship
Okay, that “what you gonna do when we come for you” music by Rey is some of the worst theme music i’ve ever heard. It comes in a close second only behind IRS. Lockup by Mercury and Mysterio, and Rey gets a hip toss so Mercury rolls out. “Slut” chant starts by the fans with Melina at ringside. Mysterio does some fancy work and rolls Mercury up for two. Another hiptoss by Rey and an arm bar. Rey makes the tag to Batista and Nitro tagged in also. Batista catches Nitro’s superkick and flips him over. Batista gets a knee lariat and rolls the snake eyes. Nitro gets a desperate eye poke and tag, but Batista sets Mercury up for the Batista Bomb. Nitro comes in and lands the superkick on him to break it up. Nitro tagged in and they try a double team, but Batista clothelines them both outside instead, following by a moonsault onto them by Rey. Back in and Rey headscissors Nitro for two. Nitro shoots Rey to the turnbuckle and tags in Mercury who slugs away but falls victum to the “every heel must sell Mysterio” trick. Nitro adds a cheap shot and Nitro gets a sick slingshot powerbomb but it only gets two. Nitro gives him a reverse clothseline for two, then locks in a rear choke which Rey elbows out of. Nitro tries a whip but gets dropkicked by Rey. Rey tries to make a tag but Nitro stops him. Nitro gets a backbreaker and russian leg sweep for two. Mercury adds a cheap choke to Rey from the apron, then Melina pulls Rey out. Mercury covers three times for two. Mercury shoots him off the ropes and gets a spinning flapjack for two. Nitro tagged in and gets a powerlslam and spinning leg drop for two. Mercury and Nitro with a double team whip to the corner, and Mercury snapmares him into a reverse bearhug. Rey gets out and comes back with the bulldog. Rey tries to make the tag but Nitro drags im back to their corner. Rey tries fighting back on both men, but Nitro knocks him down with an enzigiri for two. Nitro sets him on the top rope and tries a superplex but Rey blocks it and tries a sunset flip from the top, but Nitro blocks it. Rey instead climbs back up and gets a reverse ranna. Batista comes in and kills everyone, Rey gets the 619 on Nitro, and Batista gets the Batista Bomb on Nitro to win the titles, I guess because it looks better to have the Armageddon match RAW vs Smackdown tag champs. Poor MNM, always losing their credibility to the hot faces. That was probably their best match ever too, a shame they had the job the titles just so Batista can hold another title and so the Armaggedon match looks fancier.
Winners: Batista & Rey Mysterio
***1/2

Bobby Lashley v. Paul Burchill
Lashley dominates and hits the Dominator.
Winner: Bobby
-***

Crystal interviews Matt Hardy about fighting Booker tonight, but JBL interupts on a crutch. JBL wants to say something to have fans, but Hardy says that he doesn’t like being interupted. Hardy says that he knows who JBL is, the guy who walks out on his tag team parts. Wrong answer, JBL was looking for “Wrestling God.” JBL punches Hardy, then Hardy tackles him until he gets pulled off by security. Talk about a cheap way to expand the PPV card.

Teddy Long talks to Orton’s psychiatrist and wants to know about Orton’s big decision. He says that he thinks the HIAC match is barberic, and walks out.

Batista and Rey are talking, and Orton comes in and tells Dave congratulations. They shake hands and Orton says we’ll never know if Orton is “the best.”

Booker T v. Matt Hardy
Booker attacks with chops to start but Hardy slugs back and clothselines Booker to the floor. Plancha by Hardy and he warns JBL who is doing guest commentary. Booker takes advtantage of Hardy and slams his head on the steps. Back in Booker gets a spin kick as JBL talks about how he is the king of media with his radio show and Layfield Lure. Booker locks in a rear choke but Hardy gets out and slugs away. Hardy dodges a kick and gets a neckbreaker. Hardy gets a pair of clothselines and bulldog out of the corner for two. Booker blocks the Twist Of Fate and Booker gets a spinebuster and goes for the scissor kick but Hardy dodges it and gets a side effect. Hardy gets a top rope leg drop for two. JBL gets up and pulls Hardy outside, then gives him a Clothseline From Hell and rolls Hardy in allowing Booker to get the Scissor Kick for the win.
Winner: Booker T
**

Orton comes out for the main event announcement and says that at 25 years old he has accomplished more than most people accomplish in their entire lives, he’s the youngest World Champion in history, the soul survivor three years in a row at Survivor Series, and a certified legend killer. Orton says that nobody can kill the legend of the Undertaker. He goes on to say that he is retiring.

Teddy Long comes out and says that if he doesn’t show up at Armaggedon he will sue him due to contract negotiations. Orton starts to walk to the back when Taker’s music hits.

The droids walk out and out pops Taker. Orton begs him to forgive him as a droid holds up an urn. The urn turns out to be Cowboy Bob Oldton disguised, it distracts Taker, and Orton attacks him and gets the RKO, but Taker sits up. Orton gets a chair and nails Taker with it, then several more chair shots. Another chair shot to the head and Orton wipes Taker’s blood on his chest. Taker sits up again. Orton then hits Taker with the urn. Orton says he’ll see Taker at Armaggedon.

End of show.