– From the Impact Zone
– Mike Tenay and Don West
The King Of The Mountain interupts Tenay and West to start as usual, and JJ wants to know what’s going on Sting. JJ says he is going to “make an impact” tonight, as if that wasn’t painfully clear. zzzzz
Samoa Joe v. Jay Lethal
Oh hell, Joe wins the X title and still has to squash jobbers? Man, talk about a low ball. Lethal gets a hip toss and dodges a kick, gets a sloppy dropkick and a stand off. Okay, maybe a considerable step above the average squash. Joe drops him with the stiff kicks and tries a charge but Lethal dodges a charge and gets a dropsault followed by a regular dropkick for two. Lethal tries a whip but Joe holds onto the top rope and reveres it, then hits an atomic drop, boot to face and senton backsplash. Joe gets a boot in the corner and locks in a rear choke. Lethal gets up but Joe hits the muscle buster and locks in the clutch
for the win.
Winner: Samoa Joe
*1/4, I guess not too bad.
And f*ck those Fatheads. Seriously, we get the picture. For those of us who regularly watch ESPNews like myself, seeing the annual rotation of Fathead commercials is enough to make you want to commit suicide. Seeing them on Impact commercials is even worse.
Meanwhile Killings tells Konan that he’s done with the family.
Alex Shelley v. Matt Bentley
Bentley slips out of a back suplex and slugs away to start, then hits a missile dropkick for two. Shelley comes back with a leg lariat and a back suplex of his own, then locks in a headscissors into the “scissor stomp.” I’m glad Tenay found a name for that move, because I was always clueless as to what to type. Shelley gets a double knee lariat and DDT from the top for two. Shannon Moore is seen on the top of the set with a sign that says “X divison needs to get punkd.” Great. Back inside Bentley gets an enzigiri two, and a spike DDT for another two. Shelley gets some sort of modified schoolboy out of nowhere for the win.
Winner: Alex Shelley
** as the annual Impact x match was below par due to Moore’s gig.
Douglas wonders if people are underestimating that Abyss needs a title shot. Boy, if it weren’t for Mitchell’s mic work I would like Abyss a whole lot less. D’Amore interupts and tells Mitchell he has a business proposal, and they walk away.
Rhyno v. Joe Doering
Rhyno slugs away to start but it gets reversd by Doering. Rhyno comes back with a clothseline and running shoulder. Belly to side suplex by
Rhyno, Gore.
Winner: Rhyno
-*** zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzz
Rhyno grabs a mic and congratulates JJ for walking out champ but he made you bleed. Rhyno says they will meet again and he will get his hands on Coach D’Amore. zzzzzzzzzz
David Young & Elix Skipper v. Team 3D
Dudz sqash the Diamonds to start and Bubba gets a sideslam on Elix for two, followed by a neckbreaker. Primetime tries to get fancy off a springboard but Bubba clothselines him for two. Bubba dumps Young and D’von presses Skipper to the floor. Bubba gets tripped up by Simon and Young chokes him. One of the Hebner brothers is seen writing notes on a clipboard on the stage as Bubba no sells Skipper’s kicks. Bubba gets a spinebuster but Skipper rolls through and gets a pin out of it somehow fro two. Bubba hits the full nelson bomb and they get dueling tags. D’von cleans heel house for a while until Bibba gets involved and they hit a double team neckbreaker, but Simon distracts the ref. Skipper tries a sneak attack nut hits Diamond instead, and the Dudz hit a top rope clothseline on him, 3D on Young for the win.
Winners: Team 3D
*1/2, stretched out way too long for being for the most part a Dudz squash.
Meanwhile there’s a heel gathering in the back with JJ, D’Amore, Petey and company chat about Monty Brown and JJ asks Gail what’s wrong, and
she says nothing.
Heel gathering goes to the ring, JJ, Team Canada, Gail, AMW, and Abyss. Jarrett says that the TNA management wants to play mindgames about the new member to the TNA roster, Sting. Monty Brown comes out and says that the Alpha Male is in with Jarrett. They shake hands and the lights go out. On the ramp is christian, Team 3D and Rhyno. Sting’s music and video plays, but he never shows.
End of show.
