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NHL Ice This!

Steve Price, the Frosty Addict
For Inside Pulse Sports – 11.26.05

Welcome, one and all, to the return of my latest endeavor in the world of Inside Pulse Sports. I’m your Host with the Most for another exciting adventure into the world of La La Land, also known as the NHL. If you didn’t get a chance to read the garbage-laden primers for this bad boy, you may do so by clicking… wait a second… there we go, right here and here, respectively. Warning: Reading this column may result in increased video game playing, Taco Bell craving, and general idiocy. And remember: erections lasting longer than four hours, though rare, require immediate medical attention.

Pimp That Puck
Nick Pomazak brings the wholesome, creamy goodness that only he and the internet can bring. It’s Pomazak! Hooray Pomazak!

And now, it’s the Monday Morning Variety Hour! Score!

Wont you visit his neighborhood? Rogers!

Oli Porter questions my intelligence by questioning my loyalty to FIFA. Considering that I’m an American that actually gives a shit about football, I’d say that’s really the least of your concerns. Oli is Your FATHER.

Eric S. may be right about his East Coast Bias beef, but at the very least… no, I wont say anything, Eric. Here’s the obligatory pimp for the Mack Daddy of Inside Pulse: right here.

Game On! The Headlines
Gretzky Out on Indefinite Leave – From ESPN.com, Phoenix Coyotes Head Coach Wayne Gretzky is on indefinite leave from his coaching responsibilities to spend time with his ailing mother. Gretzky, in his first year as the head coach of the Coyotes, has his team in third place in the Pacific Division, though many questioned whether Gretzky had the drive to become a great NHL coach. Few doubted his knowledge of the game, however. Gretzky’s responsibilities with the Canadian Olympic squad are also in question, as Gretzky spends time with his mother Phyllis, who is battling Lung Cancer.

Rick Tocchet will assume Gretzky’s role as Coyotes Head Coach for now, while the Canadian Olympic team will inevitably make some sort of decision in accordance with the Gretzky family over the next few weeks. This has been a particularly trying time for the Canadians, who were all but assured of the absence of Mario Lemieux from the Turin games because of a irregular heart beat.

Lemieux Sidelined With Irregular Heartbeat – Also from ESPN.com, the legendary Pittsburgh Penguin representative Mario Lemieux has been sidelined for an additional period of time due to an irregular heart beat. On December 7th, Lemieux was sidelined for this very condition, which causes his heart to speed up at given points. Unlike some recent basketball players with heart ailments, Lemieux’s condition was not thought to have been detrimental to his career, but this reoccurrence has probably planted doubts into “Super Mario”. Lemieux did not travel with the team to their game in Buffalo, and no immediate timetable has been set on his return. Lemieux is confirmed to be out for the 2006 Olympics.

Robinson Out in New Jersey – This is a breaking development out of the New Jersey Devils organization. Larry Robinson, the head coach of the Devils, resigned today in part due to overwhelming stress and “massive” headaches, according to ESPN.com. The Devil’s are coming off a disappointing start to the 2005-2006 NHL Season, and the departure of Robinson will only increase the mounting frustrations of a directionless team, or so it appears. No replacement has been announced as of yet.

Retro “Ice This” Headlines
Fischer Released from Hospital … Jiri Fischer, a defenseman for the Detroit Red Wings, has been placed on injured reserve for the foreseeable future after collapsing on the bench during the first period of a Red Wings/Predators game in Detroit on Monday night (11.21.05). Fischer, who was released Wednesday from a Detroit hospital, collapsed on the bench during the first period on Monday night, and the team doctor was forced to resuscitate Fischer with a defibrillator after he detected no pulse on the player. Play was suspended for the night, with a makeup date expected by Wednesday, the 23rd (no information on this date is available at this time). Fischer is reported to have been responsive and stable upon his arrival at the Detroit hospital, where he was observed. There is no time-table set for his return as mentioned earlier, and defenseman Kyle Quincey has been recalled from Grand Rapids AHL. [Credit: SI.com]

Fedorov a Blue Jacket … This one isn’t exactly new, but it is worthy of coverage, nonetheless for obvious reasons. Sergei Fedorov, the former center of the Mighty Ducks, was traded two weeks ago along with a fifth round pick in next year’s draft for forward Tyler Wright. This coming after a slow start for the six-time All Star.

Mighty Ducks Receive:
– F Tyler Wright
– Defenseman Francois Beauchemin

Blue Jackets Receive:
– Center Sergei Fedorov
– 2006 5th Round Draft Pick

The deal serves purposes for both sides. Columbus is very much in a building phase, with young talent that are still coming together as a team. Despite the injury-prone Fedorov and his problems so far this year, the Blue Jackets are hoping that he can provide not only leadership on the ice, but help spark an offense that ranks dead last in goals. Along with new Blue Jacket Adam Foote and highly touted center Rick Nash returning in December, GM Doug MacLean hopes to position the franchise for a possible playoff berth by the end of the season.

For Anaheim, this move is merely a cost-cutting procedure. The Mighty Ducks needed cap relief in a hurry, and managed to execute the trade without losing more face than they already have. The Ducks land a solid center in the deal, and a rookie defenseman in Beauchemin that has some potential given time. To date, this is the biggest trade post-NHL return to the ice. [Credit: ESPN.com]

Noronen, Forsberg, Cloutier Injured … Mika Noronen, goaltender for the Buffalo Sabres left Tuesday night’s game versus the Rangers with an unspecified groin injury. Buffalo lost the game 3-2 in a shootout. He joins Dan Cloutier, primary goalie for the Vancouver Canucks on the recently injured list. Cloutier will miss three games with a knee injury – backup Alex Auld replaces him during his absence.

Also on the injury list, the highly touted Peter Forsberg, one of Philadelphia’s biggest off-season acquisitions, left last night’s game against Boston (Friday – 11/25/05) with a mild groin pull. Forsberg, a key part to the Flyers machine, scored two goals and assisted in a third before injuring himself. Forsberg was benched for the duration of the third period, though Philadelphia added an insurance goal by Michal Handzus en route to a 5-3 win. The injury isn’t thought to be severe, though Forsberg will be monitored closely for the next few days. [Credit: ESPN]

Ovechkin the Centerpiece in Moscow/Washington Conflict … In a story that if broken fifteen years ago, would have peaked the interest of national media outlets, Russian Alexander Ovechkin, a left wing in his rookie season with the Washington Capitals (and one of the top candidates for the NHL’s Rookie of the Year honors) has become embroiled in a struggle between the Capitals of the NHL, and the Dynamo Moscow franchise in Russia. Ovechkin, 20, spent three years with Moscow, and after being drafted #1 overall in the 2004 NHL Draft, made the move to Washington after opting out of his contract with Avangard Omsk.

Dynamo Moscow claims the right to Ovechkin, and has partitioned a U.S. court to uphold the ruling of a Russian arbitrator, who found that the Moscow-based hockey organization still holds the rights to the Capitals’ leading scorer. Legal representation for the Washington Capitals proclaim that the arbitrator’s ruling has no grounds for authority in the United States, and that Ovechkin will remain a Capital. [Credit: Associated Press]

Mario Lemieux Questionable for Turin Games … After an interesting progression of events leading up to and immediately after the 2002 Salt Lake City Olympics, Mario Lemieux is calling into doubt the possibility of his return to the Olympics in Turin in 2006. Lemieux, 40, is firmly entrenched in as muddy a situation as he was in the 2002 Winter Games, where he captained the Canadian Nationals to their first hockey gold medal in half a century. Despite his team’s success in Utah, Lemieux was so severely injured upon his return that he failed to play in more than one or two games for Pittsburgh, leaving the Penguins in a dire hole that they failed to climb out of (they finished dead last in their division).

This year, Lemieux is again befuddled by a host of problems. At the age of 40, and his skills declined from his more youthful years, Lemieux acknowledges that there is a good chance that there will be a range of young talent far more deserving to make up the squad than he, though that he would take part in the games if called upon. Also important to Lemieux is the potential reaction from Pittsburgh fans if he were to leave. The Penguins have become the centerpiece of a growing controversy in the city over whether or not the team should seek residence elsewhere. The team, which is owned in part by Lemieux himself, is seeking permission to operate slot machines in an effort to fund a new arena, which would replace the dilapidated Mellon Arena. The lease on their current venue expires next year, and threats to move have been made public if a new arena is not funded. With public relations vital to the franchise and its roots in Pittsburgh, a “vacation” to the Turin Olympics (in essence, the abandonment of the Penguins in the eyes of the fans) could be construed as a bad business move for the team.

When asked about the idea of giving his spot up on the Olympic squad, Lemieux said he was open to it, even going so far as to not only conceding his spot to teammate Sidney Crosby if he were asked to do so, but also noting that Crosby should be invited to the team “with his own spot secured”, noting the success that Crosby has had in his short time with the league. [Credit: ESPN.com]

Second Period!

NHL standings to date, plus scores.


NHL Standings – Eastern and Western Conferences
Atlantic – Northeast – Southeast / Central – Northwest – Pacific Divisions




NHL Standings – Text Format
Eastern Conference
Atlantic Division

Team Games W – L Points
1. NY Rangers 33 20W – 09L 44
2. Philadelphia 29 18W – 07L 40
3. NY Islanders 22 15W – 13L 32
4. New Jersey 21 14W – 12L 32
5. Pittsburgh 22 08W – 17L 22

Northeast Division

Team Games W – L Points
1. Ottawa 28 22 – 04 46
2. Buffalo 30 19 – 10 39
3. Montreal 29 16 – 08 37
4. Toronto 31 16 – 12 35
5. Boston 31 10 – 15 26

Southeast Division

Team Games W – L Points
1. Carolina 30 19 – 09 40
2. Tampa Bay 30 17 – 10 37
3. Atlanta 32 12 – 16 28
4. Florida 32 10 – 18 24
5. Washington 28 09 – 17 20

Western Conference
Central Division

Team Games W – L Points
1.Detroit 32 21 – 09 44
2. Nashville 28 18 – 07 39
3. Chicago 29 12 – 15 26
4. Columbus 30 09 – 21 18
5. St. Louis 27 06 – 17 16

Northwest Division

Team Games W – L Points
1. Vancouver 30 19 – 09 40
2. Calgary 31 18 – 09 40
3. Edmonton 31 16- 11 36
4. Colorado 31 16 – 12 35
5. Minnesota 30 12 – 14 28

Pacific Division

Team Games W – L Points
1. Dallas 27 19 – 07 39
2. Los Angeles 31 18 – 12 37
3. Phoenix 31 16 – 13 34
4. Anaheim 31 13 – 13 31
5. San Jose 29 13 – 12 30

*Results Accurate as of Tuesday, December 13th, 2005.

NHL Game Scores – Thru Wednesday (12.14.05 – 1:10 PM)
Monday, December 12th, 2005
– Detroit 3, Pittsburgh 1 –
– Ottawa 6, Colorado 2 –
– Toronto 3, Anaheim 2 –

Tuesday, December 13th, 2005
– Carolina 5, Chicago 3 –
– Vancouver 3, NY Rangers 2 –
– Atlanta 7, Detroit 6 –
– Montreal 5, Phoenix 2 –
– Minnesota 4, NY Islanders 3 –
– Florida 7, Nashville 3 –
– Philadelphia 3, Columbus 1 –
-New Jersey 2, Edmonton 1 –

Monday, December 19th, 2005
– Buffalo @ Philadelphia – 7:00 PM
– NY Islanders @ Toronto – 7:30 PM
– Dallas @ Minnesota – 8:00 PM
– Calgary @ Edmonton – 9:00 PM
– Los Angeles @ Vancouver – 10:00 PM

Intermission!

NFL Picks, etc.


NFL Week 12 Picks
A semi-regular feature, which means “until there’s no more football left to predict”, the NFL/NCAA picks section is pretty much my poor excuse at parlaying a good week of predictions way back when into a column feature to kill some time. I’ll leave the major stuff to Nick Pomazak, and the T.O. stuff to Patrick N. It’s about the picks now, baby.

NFL Week 15
Saturday Games

Tampa Bay @ New England
Tampa Bay is on top of the NFC South Division by virtue of a better divisional record than Carolina. Expect their overall record to take a hit though, because New England is quietly regaining some of their lost form. In Foxboro, New England gets a hard fought win. [Week 15 Record: 1-0]

Kansas City @ NY Giants
This one boils down to a tale of two running backs: Larry Johnson and Tiki Barber. Eli Manning has been struggling lately, and New York’s defense has been bitten by the injury bug of late. A loss wont sink the Giants as much as it would the Chiefs, and no one seems to have the answer to stopping Johnson. Kansas City keeps itself on life support with a win on the road. [Week 15 Record: 1-1]

Denver @ Buffalo
With the San Diego and Kansas City losses on Sunday, Denver opened its lead up a bit heading into the final weeks of the season. Their status as AFC West leaders wont change after their win in Buffalo. [Week 15 Record: 2-1 … Not bad, first day and all.]

Sunday Games

Seattle @ Tennessee
No problem for the Seahawks; they win on the road. [Week 15 Record: 3-1 … Whew, that was closer than I thought. Kudos to Air McNair for making a game out of it.]

Philadelphia @ St. Louis
St. Louis is still a force to be reckoned with at home, but even then the Eagles are too injured to put up much of a fight. The sad 2005 saga continues for the Feebles. [Week 15 Record: 3-2 … Damn, life sucks.]

Pittsburgh @ Minnesota
Good game here, as Minnesota is hot and Pittsburgh has something to prove. After bitchsmacking Chicago at home, the Steelers seem to have the advantage. Minnesota puts up a valiant effort, but I don’t think they have the guns to take Pittsburgh out. [Week 15 Record: 4-2]

San Francisco @ Jacksonville
This is our “foregone conclusion” game. Jacksonville pounds San Francisco at home. [Week 15 Record: 5-2 … Again, closer than I liked. Got the W, though.]

Cincinnati @ Detroit
Cincinnati should have some fun at the Lions’ expense, who will be subjected to a Millen-protest before and during the game. After getting screwed out of a win in Green Bay, the Lions are on the verge of collapse. Cincy wins. [Week 15 Record: 6-2]

Dallas @ Washington
Conventional wisdom says that this is the year that B.S. wins occur. Washington actually beating Dallas in Landover would suffice as an ample testament to this will, thus we’ll call Washington in a close one. [Week 15 Record: 7-2 … Close? BWAHAHA!]

San Diego @ Indianapolis
My feelings haven’t changed on this one from IPSR. I think San Diego is game, but I cannot see Indy losing this game, when they can put out a legit playoff threat. And with New England starting to get healthy, there is absolutely no need to plant the seeds of doubt into the Colts’ heads over a game that they should win. [Week 15 Record: 7-3 … Well, f*ck it all. Go Patriots, you can do it now!]

NY Jets @ Miami
I … don’t … care! Miami takes it in a snoozer. [Week 15 Record: 8-3]

Carolina @ “New Orleans”
I can’t in good conscience predict a second straight “upset” (considering New Orleans has won two consecutive over Carolina), but I think the Panthers will continue to be exposed this week in San Antonio… or Baton Rouge, or the local high school football field, wherever they set up shop. And hey, if we’re lucky, Dan Morgan will light Aaron Brooks’ ass up for fun. Panthers win their final regular season game. [Week 15 Record: 9-3]

Arizona @ Houston
Who scheduled this suck-fest? Arizona beats a purposely-tanking Houston team. [Week 15 Record: 9-4 … Is it just me, or does Houston purposely screw with my emotions?]

Cleveland @ Oakland
Again, I ask who scheduled such a shitty game. This is a pick’em, because I honestly don’t know. Take Oakland at home for the Hell of it. [Week 15 Record: 9-5]

Sunday Night Football
Atlanta @ Chicago
A Sunday night game in Chicago, with a banged up Michael Vick leading a mediocre Falcons team? I’ve seen what happens to birds in cold weather, and this bird is no different. Chicago rebounds with a victory over the shaky Falcons in Chi-Town. [UNKNOWN]

Monday Night Football
Green Bay @ Baltimore
When the snaps that a rookie QB will (or will not) receive is the most interesting topic leading into this game, you know you’re in for a brutal affair. Green Bay has enough offense left to beat Baltimore at home, but it’s worthless otherwise. [UNKNOWN]

Well, I’ll take a 9-5 record this week, because there was really too much stuff going on for one person to pay attention to the plethora of suck fests we had going on in Week 15. Indy probably did themselves a lot of harm with the loss, what with the Patriots getting healthy now. Don’t give me this “well, it’s indoors at home” crap, because the last thing one should do is sleep on the defending champions of the NFL. And, to all my east coast brethren: here’s to ignoring the Colts now for at least a month! A toast to Larry Csonka and the rest of the 1972 Dolphins, who proved that the east coast does it better!

[Memo to those who have a problem with the East Coast Bias: I suggest watching “50+ Years of Appalachian State Football” on Beta for five hours straight. Why? Because App. State, the “big little mountain hick college that could”, actually won a football national title! A toast to Mountaineer fans and all of Watauga County, North Carolina for making life interesting! East Coast Bias RULZ!]

[Memo to those who do not know what Beta is: Watch one of the old Crockett-ran NWA show tapes from about 1987 onward for a clue.]

Game Over!
That’s it! Finished, kaput, done, complete, finis, fin, adios, hasta luego, peace out, we’re done, we’re through, blah! I sincerely hope you enjoyed this little trip into the realm of the spectacular, as I tried to keep the garbage to a minimum. We’ll work around with some of the flaws as the weeks progress, but hopefully Inside Pulse Sports will only continue to improve its lead over the rest of the sporting news world. Keep a lookout for the next installment of IP Radio this week, as Patrick rules the airwaves, with the lovable misfit known as Steve Price, the Host with the Most in tow. Until we meet again, this is the Speed-turned-Frosty Addict, signing off in 3…2…1…

Man, did I half-ass this bad boy or what? Peace.