The Crucifix, Opinions, Etc.

Archive

Eric is “on assignment” this week. Actually, he’s on a job interview so good luck to him on that. A few quick responses to some emails from last week and then we’ll get this shit poppin’…word.

– One reader asked why I changed my tune on Sting, as I did say (when Rhino won the belt) that I would have put the title on him if I had to hotshot it to someone. This is true. I have changed my tune because different times necessitate different things. If Nash has a heart attack and you need to hotshot the title to someone, you can build some buzz by doing so. However, when a few months later you have several viable contenders for the title (Monty, Christian, Raven, Me), there is no reason to bring Sting in, especially at $500,000 a year.

Hello Mr. Hevia,

I’ve been a reader of the Crucifix for a while now, and just wanted to make a correction to the recent article about Tookie. He wasn’t convicted by an all white jury, there was one black guy, he’s like Tiger Woods black. And, during the jury selection, the defense kicked off just as many black jurors as the prosecution did. As far as racism is concerned, Tookie laughed when he killed the Asians in the hotel and called them buddha heads, so that’s where is mind was.

I have lots of more information, as I’m from SoCal and a political geek/junkie, but just thought I’d add that. Thanks again for writing.

Paul in OC

I got scared when I saw Mr. Hevia, as I thought I was going to get a cease and desist from someone. Apparently I’m not that badass. Thanks for the correction though. We did have a nice thread in the super secret writers forum about this, labeled “DIE TOOKIE DIE!” To McCullar: Yes, my thirst for blood was quenched.

Another Tookie question:

hi Dan

regular reader of your column, but don’t always get as much time to email friends let alone web writers such as yourself.

anyways enough of the verbal felating, have a question re your latest column.

its more about what u wrote about that Stanley Williams execution.

if he maintains his innocence from the outset, why would you expect him to apologise for the death of 4 people he claims he never killed

jury decisions aside if u were adamant u were innocent of a crime, would you apologise for it?

I know probably a bit heavier (I apologise if that is a pun) than your expecting.

thanks for taking the time to read this. I do enjoy your columns, they help pass my work day :)

take care and merry Christmas (or whatever you feel like celebrating at this time of year)

Yours
Brett

“Yours”? I own you? YES! Now, about Tookie, and I wrote this back to this reader…if you were about to die would you apologize? Yup, I would. At that point you have to say f*ck your dignity and self respect and let’s survive. That’s what matters.

<---- That's Jenna Jameson, you can find it on her Myspace, or her husbands, for those asking.


Dodging Bullets

Jed subbing in for Gordi was an awesome piece of work. Now many people know I have become increasingly negative about the product. It might just be burn out after years of abuse with only one good period mixed in, but I really do have problems with it now, except for the Divas, which I’ve said before. This doesn’t have to do with erections or anything, I just think they work really hard and give a damn. As for our readers listening too intently to us writers, it may be true. Do we force our opinions down your throat? Not any more than any writer anywhere else does. You decide whether or not to believe us/like us. Now I don’t think my opinion should be carried out like Hitler’s until the day you die, but hopefully you might make sense out of some of the stuff I’m saying. Maybe you’ll go “Wow, never thought of it like that before.” But again, that’s up to you. Now as for our influence on the product, it is minute at best, honestly. There are certain things that we have influenced (Hardy, Lesnar/Goldberg, etc.). Many other things we have not. I think the height of our influence was around Wrestlemania 20. Once business didn’t go crazy after that, we were out. I agree and disagree with Jed. Such is life.

Now, the real bullet: Lambert’s hate mail. How the f*ck do I get picked on in mail to Lambert? I enjoy Lambert’s shit. But this line from Ramsey is insane:

Vince McMahon drops the “n” word: big whoop. Nobody cares anymore. And he did it in front of Booker? So, been done before (Kevin Nash said it in WCW), not to mention the countless other times the word was dropped in ECW. It’s offensive to maybe 5% of the human population today. Plus, the word has changed definitions. It’s socially acceptable for two white guys to call each other their “nigga.” Shoot, watch Adult Swim on Sunday nights at 11 to see a show that glorifies the word (it’s also, hands down, the best show on TV right now…Boondocks, baby!) So, your diatribe came off as you just wanting another reason to bitch about the WWE product. Low. I wouldn’t expect that from you (Hevia, yes. Eric S., yes. But not you).

First off, I, nor Eric I believe, are looking for reasons to bitch about WWE’s product. If they put on a show that I could enjoy week in and week out, you would see no bitching and tons of praise. Second, I joked about Vince calling Cena his nigga. I thought it was funny. I completely agree that the word should be acceptable everywhere, and generally is. Finally, if you think I am looking for a reason to bitch and it pisses you off to the extent that you would mention it in an email, then that email should be to me. This is not a shot at Lambert. Lambert is one of the most talented guys on the site and has been a staunch supporter of TNA since it’s inception, even when we try to ride him because of it. When they boom, he’s going to be the guy on the net that people look for for TNA opinions. End of story. But if you are going to “expect” anything from me, then tell me about it. If you go back to my earlier work, you can see that I was positive. Two reasons for the change: 1) Shit started falling apart and I didn’t like it. 2) It more interesting and garners more opinions from people when I get angry. Finally, it’s my column so na na poo poo, bitch.


– RIP Tim White: – If you went to The Friendly Tap last night, it was closed with a sign on the door saying “Closed due to a family emergency.”

I just don’t understand how WWE let this happen on air. First Owen live on PPV, now this live on PPV. So sad…

– Ken Doane has been called up to the RAW house show roster from OVW, with a new gimmick (a male cheerleader, head of the “Spirit Squad”). He’s a young, hot prospect for WWE, and had indy wrestler Lex Lovett in his corner over the weekend.

If they are going to do this and they’re serious about it., they sign Cheri Oteri, immediately. Then they have Will Ferrell make a cameo and get taken out by Doane.


Or is it? As previously reported here, Matt Cappotelli — current OVW Champ and co-Tough Enough 3 winner (along with Johnny “Nitro” Hennigan) — went to the hospital last Wednesday after getting shaken up during an angle with Chris Cage, Johnny Jeter and Mark Henry. A CAT SCAN showed a spot on the image, referred to as a “tumor,” and he was held in the hospital for further testing. As of now, they are telling him not to panic, since they don’t know yet if it’s malignant, benign, operable or not, etc. He was advised to go to a special facility in Cincinnati for a biopsy and other tests, and the good news is that the “tumor” isn’t impeding blood flow to the brain, and may very well end up being nothing.

He was scheduled to be in Stamford, CT this weekend to shoot vignettes with Mike the Miz, and as far as we know, depending on health issues, the plan is to team them up when they are brought up to the WWE roster.

For what it’s worth, I’m hoping that he is ok. From what I have been reading, OVW is really a hotspot that people aren’t talking about too much. With Heyman at the reigns (who knows how long), they seem to be doing really well. The biggest benefactor, it seems, has been Cappotelli, and I for one would like to see him on the main roster. Even is “The Miz” has to come along with him.


– Hulk Hogan is in the news again…funny how that always happens when the New Year rolls around. In an interview he talked about working with Austin and grooming new talent and blah blah blah. Then he shot back at Shawn Michaels:

“Shawn had expressed how much he wanted a dream match. Things were cool and we had a good match,” Bollea said. “That’s pretty much where we left it at. There was always room to have a Hogan vs. Michaels II and III, but Shawn went on TV and kind of made fun our match and I didn’t want to pursue working with him any more … I think there’s a lot of the old Shawn Michaels in the new Shawn Michaels.”

Regardless if there is a lot of the old HBK in the new HBK (and there should be, they are the same damn person), I side with Michaels on this. First off, all of us knew it was a power struggle as to who would go over. We know Shawn lost. However, the next day, Shawn was still there, while Hogan was home waiting for the check in the mail to probably get his daughter another singing gig. So Shawn said, while the fans were chanting for Hogan: “He ain’t comin’ back until he needs another payoff.” That’s vintage Shawn right there, but people overlook one thing: He’s right. When does Hogan come around? Biggest paydays of the year. So while Shawn is in Afghanistan, Hogan is on the phone with Vince trying to get Austin in the ring for a “dream” match. Dream as in “It would be a dream to get at least $100,000 for one match, brother.” I for one hope Shawn shoots on more people, as he is the best at it.


– Nick “Eugene” Dinsmore was seen visiting Deep South Wrestling’s TV tapings last Thursday, watching the show from the crowd. There has been no update, however, on plans for his return or his suspension being lifted.

What we aren’t telling you is that this was the beginning of the Eugene “Lost in Georgia” vignettes that you’ll see real soon. See what happens when Dusty gets hired?

– PWInsider.com is reporting that Jeff Hardy, after having no-showed TNA’s Turning Point PPV, has been indefinitely suspended. He’s a top merchandise seller, so won’t likely be released.

See, Jeffykins still moves merch!

– There’s a possibility Sean “Syxx Pac” Waltman will come back.

Why do I remember something about HHH and Vince paying for rehab and X-Pac coming back to WWE? Am I wrong? Did he fall off the wagon? Did Chyna’s boy penis do some irreparable harm?

– Due to a split lip that required stitches, AJ Styles pulled out of his scheduled Ring of Honor booking over the weekend, although he did wrestle for Vince Russo’s Ring of Glory event the night before his ROH booking, since he felt bad for canceling on Russo in the past, and it was held close to his home. He busted the lip open again at the Christian show.

Afterward, Jesus himself came down from the rafters and stitched AJ up. Vince Russo was overheard telling workers ” If Jesus can get it right, why couldn’t Owen? Fucking Canadians.”


Tribute To The Troops

Tommy P brought us the live coverage. It’s becoming hell in a hand basket to get people to do the live coverage, so if you want in, Email Me.

– Vince gave a nice speech at the beginning where he cut down the media like usual and got the troops riled up.

The matches were nice little pieces, Divas looked hot, yuletide cheer. The most emotional thing for me was the video packages with the troops. WWE always does a nice job with these and this year was no different. Overall, it was a nice show as usual and a fantastic gesture by those who participated. Additionally, just to let all of you know, Maria is f*cking hot. Thank you.


Merry Christmas Happy Holidays Fuck You

I don’t care what you celebrate. I don’t care that the Christmas Tree has it’s beginning in Pagan rituals and really has no semblance of Christmas spirit. I don’t care that you are an Atheist. I don’t care that you’re Jewish. Leave my f*cking Christmas alone. It’s a Christmas Tree, not a “Holiday Tree”. If you want to say Happy Holidays to me, great. I will wish you a Merry Christmas and you’ll f*cking like it. Thank you. This has been Merry Fuck You with Dan Hevia

Producer: Dan Hevia
Director: Dan Hevia
Editor: Dan Hevia


Well, I’m done for this week and next, as those readers who participated in the “Christmas With Hevia” gift giving will be bringing you their own personal year in reviews. It’s my way to give back. So enjoy Christmas and I’ll see you in the New Year. Adios!