We all know that there will not be a 16-0 season this year. The Chargers took care of that by going into the RCA Dome and beating the Colts on Sunday. Now Mercury Morris and Bob Griese and all those 72 Dolphin gaymos can commence with their annual celebratory game of grab ass.
That wasn’t the only important game to go down in the AFC this weekend though. The playoff picture continued to take shape, and I’ll break it all down for you. So, a fine mahok to you all, and let’s go to the film.
AFC
1. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (13-1)
LOST v. San Diego 17-25
Well, it’s over. Now we can all sleep at night. Drew Brees handed Michael “Burner” Turner a cattle prod and he shocked Peyton Manning with it, and now the streak is over for Goldberg, I mean the Colts. What this primarily means for the Colts is now they will be able to get their players healthy and rested for a Super Bowl run with a clear conscience. They need it too, because they looked frazzled and tight on Sunday.
The Chargers were able to put pressure on Peyton Manning all day long, and he didn’t deal with it as well as you might expect he would. Early in the season the blueprint for defending the Colts was to drop as many guys back in coverage as you possibly can. The Chargers did the opposite, they blitzed Manning and made him move out of the pocket, and it worked really well. They also benefited from the fact that the Colts’ defense was depleted for this game, and they have been at least as big a factor in the Colts success this year as the offense has. So, yes, the Colts CAN be beaten. But, it’s not time to panic, crack each other’s skulls open, and feast on the goo inside. They are still the best team in the NFL, by a lot, and teams that aspire to take that spot like the Bengals, Patriots, Broncos, and Chargers, will have to come into Indy and beat the Colts in the playoffs to take that spot.
Key Stats
– The Colts ran for only 24 yards on the day. This was their lowest total since, well, I’m not sure. Probably since before Eric Dickerson played for them.
– The offensive line’s struggles extended to the passing game. Manning was sacked 4 times.
– The defense surrendered 206 rushing yards. 83 came on a backbreaking 4th quarter TD run by Michael Turner.
– Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne combined for 226 yards on 18 catches.
NICK PICKED
COLTS 28, CHARGERS 17
Nobody’s Perfect
2. DENVER BRONCOS (11-3) 8-2 v. AFC
WON at Buffalo 28-17
The Broncos hung tough for a half, and waited for the Bills to collapse on themselves, which was inevitable, and came out of Orchard Park with a comfortable victory. WR Rod Smith carried the offense in the first half, rolling up 119 receiving yards and plucking a tipped pass out of the air in the end zone to even up the score at 7 going into the half. The Broncos pulled away in the second half behind 2 TD runs from Mike Anderson.
The lead in the AFC West is now a full 2 games, and with a home game against the Raiders next week, it looks like their first division title since 1998 is a fait accompli. At this point, the main concern of this team is beating out the Bengals, who they are even with at 11-3, for the second seed in the AFC and a first round bye. The season finale is a road game in San Diego, so they’re going to have to earn it.
Key Stats
– Rod Smith finished his night with 11 catches for 137 yards
– Mike Anderson and Tatum Bell combined for 146 yards on 33 carries
– The run defense was a little suspect, they surrendered 4.7 yards per rush to a mediocre Bills ground game
– A very healthy 9 of 16 third/fourth down conversion rate for the offense
NICK PICKED
BRONCOS 28, BILLS 10
In Rod We Trust
3. CINCINNATI BENGALS (11-3) 7-3 v. AFC
WON at Detroit 41-17
After a subpar performance last week against Cleveland, the Bengals got back on track by obliterating the Lions in front of a crowd of Lions fans at Ford Field wearing Bengal orange to protest how bad their team sucks. Or to show their support for Ukranian prime minister Victor Yuschenko, I forget which.
They’ve clinched their first division title in 15 years, and are tied with the Broncos in the race for a first round bye. How far this team goes depends entirely on whether their defense can play adequately enough to get the very dangerous offense back on the field. Cincy’s averaged 36.2 points per game in their last five. But they’ve also given up a little over 28 points a game in that stretch. The Bengals, to me, look like the Colts of the last 3 years. How’d that work out for them in the postseason?
Key Stats
– Chad Johnson had a career high 11 receptions
– The Bengals converted 10 of 14 third downs into first downs
– Rudi Johnson carried 24 times for 117 yards and 2 TDs. Rudi’s scored 7 touchdowns in his last 4 games, and has been over 100 yards in 3 of them.
– Carson Palmer’s been picked off 4 times in the last 4 games, after throwing only 6 interceptions in the 10 games prior.
NICK PICKED
BENGALS 28, LIONS 13
Golden Showers for the Bengals
4. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (9-5) 6-4 v. AFC
WON v. Tampa Bay 28-0
In one month, the Patriots have gone from being a team that fought tooth and nail to beat the woeful Saints at home, to looking like the team that has won 3 out of the last 4 Super Bowls. In the month of December, the Pats have outscored their opponents 79-10, and nobody has put up more than 7 points against them.
Their recent resurgence had been against bad teams. Until this week. With this win, the Patriots have proven what many suspected, that the Lombardi Trophy is going to be defended this January by a team that has every intention of not giving it up. This win clinched the AFC East title, and with the team firmly ensconced in the fourth slot in the AFC Tournament, they will be able to rest the players that need it, and get healthy for a first round playoff game in Foxboro. Most likely, they’ll face a Jacksonville team led by a backup quarterback and with a major problem establishing a running game. Then, it could be on to Indianapolis, where they will hope to reprise their annual role as Peyton Manning’s worst nightmare.
Key Stats
– The defense was nothing short of dominant. The Pats sacked Chris Simms 7 times, and held Tampa to 30 yards rushing.
– There were questions about Tom Brady’s health going into this game. He answered them with 3 TD passes and 258 yards passing against one of the league’s best defenses.
– David Givens caught 6 passes for 137 yards and a TD
– The only thing that wasn’t perfect in this win was the running game. NE averaged only 2.6 yards on 32 carries. If the Patriots lose in the playoffs, this will be why.
NICK PICKED
PATRIOTS 24, BUCS 17
The Champs Are Here
5. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (10-4) 7-3 v. AFC
WON v. San Francisco 10-9
This is not the team that beat Seattle, Cincinnati, and Pittsburgh early in the season. The Jags have been fed a diet of shitty teams for the last 3 months, and they are starting to play down to the level of their competition. Case in point was this one point win at home against the 2-12 Niners.
Anyone can tell the offense was horrible in this game just by looking at the score. The Jags moved the ball effectively enough, but were unable to convert into points. What should be of even greater concern is that defense wasn’t very good in this game either. The Niners are a team that can not pass the ball to save their lives. They are starting a rookie QB who looks lost out there. Some may say that another first overall pick, Troy Aikman, struggled as a rookie too.
I say that yes, Alex Smith does remind me of Aikman as a rookie, if Aikman was bulimic and wore horse blinders when he played.
Anyway, the point is, that when you’re defending against SF, all you need to worry about is the run. The Niners averaged 4.3 yards per carry despite this. That’s not good.
The Jags finish the season with Houston and Tennessee. They’ll probably win those games, then head to Foxboro for their opening playoff game, and get creamed.
Key Stats
– The Jags played undisciplined football in this game. SF managed only 11 first downs, 4 of which came on Jacksonville penalties.
– The defense was good on third down, limiting the Niners to only 1 third down conversion in 13 attempts.
– Fred Taylor and Greg Jones ran the ball effectively. They combined for 105 yards on 29 carries.
– The Jags do lose something with David Garrard at QB instead of Byron Leftwich. Garrard has completed 55.8% of his attempts, thrown 3 TDs versus 1 INT, and run for 132 yards and 3 TDs. That’s not bad. But Leftwich has thrown 15 TDs versus 5 INTs, and he averages 7 yards per pass attempt. That’s much better than Garrard’s 5.8 yards per attempt. Leftwich hopes to return for the playoffs, but it’s far from a sure thing that he will.
NICK PICKED
JAGUARS 28, NINERS 9
I Knew the Jags Had a Soft Schedule..But This Is Ridiculous
6. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (9-5) 6-5 v. AFC
WON at Minnesota 18-6
Pittsburgh can pretty much write its own ticket to the playoffs. They are tied with San Diego for the AFC’s final playoff spot, but they get the tiebreaker with the Chargers by virtue of beating the Bolts (on the road) 24-22 on a Monday Night in October. Their remaining two games are at Cleveland, and at home against Detroit. There is no way in hell Detroit is going into Pittsburgh and beating them, so all the Steelers need to do is beat a team they beat by 13 points with Charlie Batch at QB a month ago. Shouldn’t be too difficult.
This was the game the Steelers had to have to put themselves in the drivers seat to make the playoffs, and they won it by playing Steeler football. They ran the ball well, they played tight defense, and struck with precision passing to cruise to an easy win.
Key Stats
– Minnesota was held to only 185 yards of total offense
– Willie Parker and Verron Haynes combined for 117 yards on 23 carries
– Hines Ward had only 11 yards receiving, but that left opportunities for secondary receivers like Heath Miller and Antwaan Randle El, who teamed up with Ben Roethlsiberger for 106 yards. Randle El also had a 72 punt return
– The Steelers were only 5 of 15 on third down conversions. That’s been a problem all year for them. They are 29th in the league in that category and have converted only 33.5% of their third downs
NICK PICKED
STEELERS 21, VIKINGS 17
Randle El-evation
TRAPPED IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION
SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (9-5) 7-3 v. AFC
WON at Indianapolis 26-17
Congrats on being the first team to beat the Colts this year. But you lost to the Dolphins at home, and more importantly, you lost at home to Pittsburgh, so no playoffs for you, unless Cleveland can come up big and beat the Steelmen next week. So your season now rests on the arm of Charlie Frye. That’s IF you can win at Arrowhead this weekend, where the Chiefs have lost only once this year. Good luck with that.
Key Stats
– LaDanian Tomlinson remains hampered by a rib injury he suffered at Oakland a few weeks ago. He was held to only 76 yards on 24 carries.
– The good news is, Michael Turner took his place, and broke a 83 yard TD run to seal the win for the Chargers
– Rookie LB Shawn Merriman was huge in the win over the Colts. He had 7 tackles and sacked Peyton Manning twice
– Keenan McCardell had a 54 yard TD reception, and finished with 88 yards, which tied for his second highest total of the year
Too Little, Too Late?
KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (8-6) 7-3 v. AFC
LOST at NY Giants 17-27
Back to back losses at NFC East foes have pretty much extinguished any realistic playoff hopes the Chiefs had. They now have to end their season with wins over SD and Cincinnati (both home games), and hope against hope that the Steelers get beat in Cleveland this weekend to have a chance. The more likely scenario is that after New Year’s Day, we won’t see the Chiefs again until September, when they’ll have a new coach and a new QB.
Key Stats
– The defense is regressing. They surrendered 406 yards of total offense to the Giants, a week after giving up 445 yards to the Cowboys. Maybe Gunther Cunningham’s glasses aren’t yellow enough
– Trent Green threw a pass about 5 feet over the head of a wide open Tony Gonzalez for a game sealing interception
– Larry Johnson ran for 167 yards and 2 touchdowns. He’s been over 100 yards 7 games in a row, and has scored 12 touchdowns in that time
NICK PICKED
GIANTS 27, CHIEFS 21
The Season’s Slipping Away For KC
AND THE REST..
(4-10) CARDINALS 19
(2-12) TEXANS 30
God, the Texans can’t even get landing the first overall pick right.
Backup RB Jonathan Wells ran for 87 yards and 2 touchdowns, and made himself an enemy for life by knocking me out of my fantasy league playoffs. The Cardinals finished the game with their third string QB, John Navarre, after Kurt Warner and Josh McCown exited with injuries. The Texans sacked Arizona QB’s six times. Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald combined for 219 yards on 14 catches for the Cards.
NICK PICKED
CARDINALS 27, TEXANS 17
(3-11) JETS 20
(7-7) DOLPHINS 24
Ricky Williams tied the game with a 23 yard TD run, and Sage Rosenfels won it for the Dolphins in relief of the frequently concussed Gus Frerotte when he hooked up with Marty Booker for a 50 yard score. The win was the 4th straight for the Dolphins. Don’t get all excited though, they are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.
Brooks Bollinger passed for 327 yards for the Jets despite being sacked 6 times, three times by Jason Taylor. TE Doug Jolley was on the receiving end for 102 of those yards, and scored a 60 yard TD.
NICK PICKED
DOLPHINS 24, JETS 10
(5-9) BROWNS 9
(4-10) RAIDERS 7
Instant replay negated a late fumble by Reuben Droughns, and the Browns beat the Raiders on a 37 yard Phil Dawson field goal. Lamont Jordan rushed for 132 yards for the Raiders. Kerry Collins started at QB, and was awful. He completed only 14 of 30, for 132 yards. Antonio Bryant led the Browns with 86 receiving yards. The win was the first for rookie QB Charlie Frye.
NICK PICKED
BROWNS 20, RAIDERS 19
(3-11) PACKERS 3
(5-9) RAVENS 48
Kyle Boller is awesome! He threw 3 TD passes! Let’s let him be quarterback for 3 more years, it’s OK that we’ll suck.
Todd Heap had 110 yards and 2 TDs for the Ravens. Jamal Lewis ran for 105 and a touchdown. Packers’ rookie QB Aaron Rodgers saw the first significant action of his career. He was 8 of 15 for 65 yards and was intercepted once.
NICK PICKED
RAVENS 19, PACKERS 13
It’s Not Easy Being Green Bay
That’s it till the weekend! In the meantime, chew on these potential playoff matchups:
AFC
First Round
6. Pittsburgh (9-5) at
3. Cincinnati (11-3)
5. Jacksonville (10-4) at
4. New England (9-5)
Bye- Indianapolis (13-1), Denver (11-3)
That Bengals/Steelers III matchup looks pretty appetizing. Okee then, see you on Friday.
