The NeelDown Video Review: WWE Royal Rumble 2004

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The NeelDown Video Review: WWE Royal Rumble 2004

– From Philidelphia

– Hosts are SmackDown’s Tazz and Cole and RAW’s JR, King, & Coach

– Opening Contest

Dudley Boyz v. Batista & Ric Flair – Tag Team Championsip tables match
Dave bashes the Eagles on the way out ensuing a ringside brawl to start. Bubba gets a table and slide sit across the ring into Batista. D’von settles in with Flair, getting a powerslam. He sets up the table and the Dudz try to double suplex Flair through it, but Batista throws out the table. D’von gets a swinning neckbreaker on on Batista and they brawl outside. Table set up against the turnbuckle, but Flair can’t put Bubba through it. Batista comes in and takes out the Dudz but misses a charge, and the Dudz hit him with a double team neckbreaker. D’von’s charge hits Flair’s elbow, Flair goes up top but gets tossed back down by Bubba. Dudz set up a table as Coach hits the apron. They try the Wazzup on him but Flair breaks it up, and Batista slams D’von through the table out of the complete blue for the win. *3/4, A sloppy mess really, with that even more sloppy finish out of nowhere.
Winners: Batista & Ric Flair

Josh Matthews interviews Cena about the Rumble and he gives us a cheesy rap interupted by RVD. Cena says if you doubt him you can “suck his candy cane.” Alright, that’s enough of that.

Rey Mysterio v. Jamie Noble – Cruiserweight title match
Noble drops him on the apron to start but gets headscissored into the ropes. Noble counters the 619 with a press and chops away. Noble drops him over the top rope for two. Noble with a spine kick for another two. Rey gets a roll up for two, but Noble goes back to work. For the record, this one features blind Nidia, complete with sunglasses and walking cane. Rey gets a dropkick and ranna, then counters Noble’s suplex into a bulldog. He goes for a moonsault but it hits Noble’s knee. Rey gets out of the Tiger Driver but Noble goes back to work. Nidia accidently grabs Noble’s foot as he went to the ropes allowing Rey to hit a 619 and follow with the springboard leg drop for the win. *1/4, good but rediculously short, a match with that kind of timing would have been a joke even on Velocity.
Winner: Rey Mysterio

Eddie Guerrero v. Chavo Guerrero
They fight over a long tie up, until Eddie shoves him off causing Chavo to slap him. Eddie rams him to the corner and gets pulled off. Eddie takes him down with a chinlock which gets reversed by Chavo, Chavo gets a big chop. Eddie returns the favor with a big chop of his own, and laughs. Chavo gets a couple of shoulder takedowns. They exchange chops and Eddie with a thumb to the eye. Chavo oversells the eye and Eddie locks in an armbar. Chavo gets out and rannas them both to the floor. Chavo Sr knocks Eddie off the steps as he tried to get in and Chavo attacks. Back inside Chavo takes him down with a single leg. Chavo locks in an armbreaker which gets reversed, Chavo gets the rope. Chavo gets a back suplex for two, and follows up with the three amigos, or two rather, as Eddie blocked the third. Chavo misses a tornado DDT and Eddie gets some headbuts and gets the real three amigos. Frogsplash hits for the win, and afterwards he punches his brother Chavo Sr down, then gives them both long beatdowns, for good measure of course. **1/4
Winner: Eddie Guerrero

Brock Lesnar v. Hardcore Holly – WWE Championship match
We all know the creative booking behind this one, Holly returns getting revenge on Lesnar for breaking his neck, and they go ahead and make it for the title. Holly attacks outside to start and shoves Lesnar into the pole twice. Holly misses a top rope clothseline landing on the bad side of the shoulder, and Brock suplexes him. Brock shoves him into the apron and pins back inside for two. Lesnar locks in a gut wrench and breaks it to continue beating Holly down. Lesnar hits a delayed fisherman suplex for two. Brock applies the gutbreaker again but Holly stands so Brock switches to a bearhug. Yawn. Holly punches out but runs straight into a belly to belly by Brock. Lesnar locks in a rear naked choke which Holly gets out of but gets whipped to a corner. Holly gets a flying forearm and dropkick of death, then gets the Alabama Slam. He doesn’t pin however, but looks in a full nelson. Brock gets the rope but Holly doesn’t let go and takes it outside and then breaks it. Lesnar escapes the countout and drops Holly’s injured neck over the top rope then gets the F5 for the win, thankfully. 1/2*, boring beyond belief.
Winner: Brock Lesnar

Triple H v. Shawn Michaels – Last Man Standing match for the World Heavyweight Championship
They go back and fourth with switches and slug it out to start. Chops by HBK are countered by punches by HHH. HBK slips out of a slam and chops, but HHH gets a facebuster off the ropes. HHH with shoulders and gives Shawn a hard Irish whip. Another whip, and HHH gets a backbreaker. HBK counters another backbreaker, catches a kick and locks in a figure four. HHH gets the rope and the ref starts a short count before HHH gets up. HBK with a low dropkick, then goes for a crossbody but HHH pulls down the ropes and he hits the floor. HHH tears apart both of the announce tables. On top of the SD announce table HBK blocks a suplex and slugs HHH off of the table. That was it with the table? Back in HHH catches HBK coming off the top rope with a kick, then sets up the pedigree but HBK counters it with a back drop to the floor. HBK goes for an Asagi Moonsault but HHH had it scouted and he goes through the Spanish announce table. Ref counts, HBK gets up at six. HHH fires away in the ring, crimson mask on Michaels. HBK gets up at the seven count but gets pounced on by HHH, who comes off the ropes with a fist. HBK gets up at the six count, more punching by HHH, more counting. HBK gets up at six again and they exchange blows until HHH gets a spinebuster. HBK gets up at seven. HHH goes with the old chair method to get the job done which never works. He whacks HBK in the back with it, he gets up at nine. HHH tries a pedigree on the chair but HBK lifts the legs and drops him on the chair, then catupults him into the corner. HBK with a chair shot, HHH gets up at six. Michaels with a flying forearm, ref counts for both men, HBK kips up at six and attcks with rights and the inverted atomic drop. HBK hits the top rope elbow and tries the sweet chin music, but HHH ducks it and gets a low blow. Double count, and they both get up at eight. HBK locks in a sleeper, HHH gets out and tries the pedigree but it’s countered yet again by Michaels who this time uses a DDT. However, HHH gets up first and tries a back suplex but HBK floats over into a crossbody. Double count ends at eight when HBK gets up, but HHH nails the pedigree. HBK gets up at nine and hits the Sweet Chin Music, double count ends at 10 so nobody wins, and Trips retains the title. Seriously, ALL that for the f*cking double count? Bullshit. **1/2, too slow with all the brawling and so many close counts near the end, not to mention the shitty ending to top it off.
Winner: Triple H

Okay, I’m not going to recap the Royal Rumble. It would be too hard to rate anyway, but I will say that it was one of the best Rumbles I have ever seen, and that was what the otherwise dull show needed.

Here are the results:

Order of elimination

Bradshaw
Tajiri
Mark Henry
Hurricane
Scott Steiner
Kane
Spike Dudley
Rhyno
Matt Hardy
Rene Dupree
Matt Morgan
Rikishi
Booker T
A-Train
Shelton Benjamin
Ernest Miller
Rico
Randy Orton
Mick Foley
Christian
Charlie Haas
Billy Gunn
Nunzio
Goldberg
John Cena
Rob Van Dam
Chris Jericho
Kurt Angle
The Big Show

Winner: Chris Benoit
*****

End of show.

Royal Rumble 04 is reccomended for the great Royal Rumble, although the other matches were pretty dull you’ll be able to make it through them since they’re so short, except for Trips-Michaels.

Merry Christmas (I’m not afraid to say it) to everyone since this is the last thing you’ll be reading of mine until the holiday. Have a good one!