Welcome to InsidePulse’s live coverage of TNA Impact! I am your host Jeremy Lambert wishing everyone a happy holiday and special Merry Christmas to Mark Neely who wished me a Merry Christmas on the blog that I haven’t post on since Summer. And before I start, I’ve had a little bit too much spiked egg nog, so bare with me.
We begin with a recap of last weeks war thingy.
Opening video
Here comes Santa with naughty elf Traci. OMG TRACI IS JUMPING UP AND DOWN!!!!! Nothing starts when…..CHRISTIAN MOTHER FUCKIN CAGE comes out. Christian wants to know if Santa forgot where he lived. He wants to know what he can do to look like the World Champ. Santa hands Christian a gift and Christian quickly opens it. IT’S WHITE PANTS JUST LIKE JEFF JARRETT! “Where did you find these 1985?” Christian rushes to put the pants on and stumbles around a bit, too much egg nog for him as well. Now Christian needs a catchy slogan. HE HAS A “DON’T PISS ME OFF” WWF SHIRT! “Don’t piss me off, wow, that’s money” HE HAS THE GLASSES AND THE WIG! “DOUBLE C!” CHANTS! Santa has to leave because he has things to do. A “Stuff her stocking” chant breaks out. SANTA GIVES CHRISTIAN A MINI GUITAR! “Is this what a World Heavyweight Champion is supossed to look like? Do I look like a complete jackass?” THE STRUT!!!!!!!!!!!! Here comes Brown and Jarrett. Christian ducks a double clothesline AND STRUTS!!!!!! before bailing to the outside. The scorpion appears again on the tron. Oh man, Christian owns you all.
Commercials
Shane Douglas is with Christopher Daniels who is about to face Eric Young. Daniels asks Joe “What’s the worst thing you can do to me?” Kill You? Daniels will end Joe’s win streak at Final Resolution, he said it not me.
Christopher Daniels vs. Eric Young: Eric Young owns in this gimmick. Christopher Daniels just owns. Woooo Alex “Student Of The Game” Shelley comes down to tape this match. Daniels kicks off the offense with kicks, chops, and punches. Shannon Moore is back on the entrance way, no sign this time. Young gain control with a trip but Daniels slips to the outside. Daniels stretches on the outside. STO by Daniels as he gets back in the ring. Booo, now Shannon Moore has the sign. Young and Daniels trade punches. Young goes for the BME but Daniels just tosses him off the top. One arm slam by Daniels followed by the BME. D’Amore climbs the apron to distract the ref. Daniels hits the Angels Wings and wins it.
Winner – Christopher Daniels
Commercials
Shane Douglas is with The James Family. Bob Armstrong says something that is broken can always be fixed. Not really. Armstrong rambles on about something or another, I didn’t really pay attention. I’m sure you didn’t miss anything.
Abyss vs. Chris Sabin: Lock up to start and Abyss uses his power. More power by Abyss. Abyss picks up Sabin and just drops him on his head…no really, that’s what he did. Dropkick by Sabin and then a dropkick to the knee. Kicks by Sabin. Dave Hebner is now on the ramp. Abyss now swings Sabin into the steps. Back in the ring, Abyss continues to work over on Sabin. Corner splash by Abyss. Sabin goes to the outside and Mitchell hits him with the cane. Back in the ring, Abyss twists the head of Sabin. Sabin fights out and hits a pair of enzuguris. Springboard dropkick by Sabin. Spin kick by Sabin followed by a springboard tornado DDT. Sabin goes for the Cradle Shock but can’t lift him. Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam for the win.
Winner – Abyss
Commercials
Ron Killings vs. Kenny “Kid” King: Haha, KKK and he’s black, and he’s facing a black man. KKK starts with the offense but eats a missle dropkick by Killings followed by a jumping side kick. Front suplex by Killings followed by the axe kick and this one is over.
Winner – Ron Killings
Now Armstrong is on the ramp with a mic but Killings speaks first. Killings says “That’s it….that’s it…….that’s it” Now Armstrong just leaves while Killings dances…o…k.
Commercials
A video package of the Raven vs. Zybsko feud plays. I actually like this feud, I don’t know why. I guess it’s because I like Raven on the mic.
Chris Harris vs. Christian “I Own You” Cage: I’m so ready to get my “That’s How I Roll” T-Shirt tomorrow for Christmas. The ref ejects Storm before the match starts which leads to…
Commercials
We are back and the bell just now rings. Did Christian strut during the 5 minutes of commercials? Christian goes outside to chase Kim but Harris cuts him off with a clothesline. Holy crap, I’m really tired and feel like sleeping. Axe handle by Harris. Stalling suplex by Harris. Headlock by Harris, Christian fights out but runs into a clothesline. Mounting punches by Harris. Christian tries to fight back but Harris trips him up. Harris charges Christian but Christian side steps and tosses Harris to the outside. Harris goes up top and tries another axe handle but Christian catches him with a punch to the gut. More punches by Christian and it all ends with a wheel kick. Tornado DDT by Christian. Christian goes to the top but Gail grabs his leg allowing Harris to go up top with him. He tries a superplex but Christian shoves him off. Christian goes for the frog splash but misses. Harris goes for a scoop slam but Christian slips out and goes for the unprettier but Harris slips out and hits a full nelson slam. Harris has the cuffs and swings at Christian but Christian ducks and hits a reverse DDT. Gail and the ref battle over the cuffs and Storm runs out and hits Christian with the belt. Harris covers but Christian kicks out at 2. Harris goes for the catatonic but Christian slips out and tries the Unprettier again but Harris slips out. Christian tosses Harris into Storm and hits the Unprettier for the win.
Winner- Christian Cage
After the match, Jarrett attacks Christian. Christian ends up ducking out but Monty Brown attacks Christian from behind. Jarrett and Brown double team Christian. Jarrett wishes Christian a merry christmas. POOOOUUUUUNCE on Christian. Stroke on the title by Jarrett.
End Show
