Sorry this is so late but work, new year and other factors combined to delay this significantly. By the way I hope you all had a great Christmas and New Year and good luck with 2006 to all of you!
Anyway the show starts off with Booker T and Benoit in Teddy Longs office. Booker is on crutches and says he can’t wrestle tonight so he should win the series. Benoit isn’t happy with that idea, nor is he happy with the other alternative, win by forfeit. Booker says he can get someone to wrestle the match for him and Benoit is down with that so it’s on tonight PLAYA!!!
We’re in Mohegan Sun Casino tonight and you’re hosts are Tazz and Cole
JBL w/ Jillian Hall Vs Microsoft Matt (go to the thewrestlingchannel.tv/forums and read the WWE Destruction diary it’s hilarious)
Matt attacks JBL to start as my tape starts acting up. JBL fires back with a big boot and a couple of neck breakers. JBL gets a shoulder block and then fires off some elbows. JBL must have put on a bit of holiday weight as his belly jiggles around during this one. On a related note I have to get down to the gym as all that turkey and other stuff has left me a little bit on the heavy side. JBL continues to slowly and boringly beat down Matt as the fans concentrate on more important things such as sitting on their hands. Matt gets a face crusher but that goes nowhere and JBL quickly pounds him down again. JBL undoes the turnbuckle pad but in a Summer Slam 91 moment, he takes it himself. Matt gets a second rope leg drop for two. JBL goes to slam Matt from the top when the Boogeyman walks down. JBL and Jillian bale and Matt wins by count out
WINNER – MATT HARDY BY COUNT OUT
½* – BORING
Booker and Sharmel are considering who to pick. Orlando Jordan comes over and asks for a chance to represent Booker but they refuse and send him on his way.
Psicosis and Super Crazy Vs The Dicks
Didn’t they fire The Dicks? I honestly don’t know which Dick is which I seriously think WWE have dropped the ball here. I mean they have a ready made feud right there under their noses, Spanky Vs The Dicks. Come on Vince get in the game man that feud could main event any YMCA in the country! Anyway to the match, which I seem to be ignoring but I doubt I’m missing anything. Psicosis gets isolated by The Dicks and they double team him for a while as the fans get behind Psicosis in a “we honestly don’t really care about this one” way. Even Cole and Tazz are ignoring this match now which shows how awesome it is. Crazy comes in with some nice stuff and heads up top for the Moonsault but is distracted by one of The Dicks. Piscosis gets a big missile dropkick on one of the Dicks and that sets up a Crazy Moonsault for the win
WINNERS – THE MEXICOOLS
½* – Good finish
Randy Orton is backstage and Booker T comes in and asks him to represent him. Randy doesn’t seem too pleased so Booker appeals to his ego and Randy decides he’ll do it.
Now it’s time for Melina’s press conference. I’ve heard stuff about this and it doesn’t sound good. The fans make it known they have NO time for this sort of stuff and came to a wrestling show to actually see, you know, WRESTLING and not stupid press conferences making light of serious matters. Fans start a LOUD Batista chant to show how much they care about this. Anyway the gist of this is that she calls Batista a sexual predator. Sure this guy has two daughters and a wife and Melina has a boyfriend, why do you ask? You know this angle is going to draw killer pay per view buy rate and house show revenue. Fans chant SLUT at Melina and boo this loudly to clearly show that they aren’t interested in this. You know those people who’ve asked me what bad heat is? IT’S THIS. Fans booing because they feel insulted that they have to sit down to crap like this rather than booing because they’re willing to spend money on seeing the next stage in the story. I fast forward as I can’t be bothered watching this shit. Wow she’s suing Batista, that’s going to get WWE a BIG 4.0 buy rate for the next show they have.
Chris Fucking Benoit Vs Randy Orton
In times of need I always have Benoit. Anyway Booker and Sharmel are doing commentary so you can guarantee that someone is getting hit with a crutch in this one. They don’t bring up that Orton won his first World Title against Benoit. Booker tries really hard on commentary which makes me think he’s trying out for a job. I have heard he wants to do that when he retires and I think he could actually be quite good. He’d be good with Joey Styles on Raw when Jerry Lawler decides he’s done. Anyway the two lock up and we cut right away to a commercial
Commercial
We’re back with Orton going to a side headlock but Benoit fights back with a running forearm and some chops. Booker’s commentary is actually pretty funny as he describes what Benoit’s chops feel like. Randy gets a vertical suplex for two and Booker actually compares it to one of Bret Hart’s and it actually kind of looked like one of Bret’s. Benoit goes to the arm and then to his own side headlock and Orton gets a cool leg scissor counter to it. This is some fine technical wrestling here. Benoit gets sent to the outside and Randy sends him into the announcers table and then, in one cool idea for a spot, gives him a back suplex on the barricade. Back inside Orton goes to the rear chin lock working over the neck and upper body. Benoit and Orton trade some stiff shots and Benoit goes to the Germans and then tries for the cross face. Orton bites Benoit’s hand to try to break it, which is another neat idea, and makes the ropes. Benoit gets a suicide plancha onto Orton outside as we go to another commercial
Commercial
We’re back with Orton having Benoit in an arm lock and then sending him shoulder first into the turnbuckle post a few times. Orton stays on the arm but he walks into an enziguri and Benoit gets two from that. Orton gets his back breaker move, I need a name for it, for two. Orton heads up top but misses a cross body and Benoit gets the three Amigos to an “Eddie” chant. Benoit heads up but misses the head butt. Benoit tries for the Sharpshooter but Orton kicks him off. RKO is countered with the cross face and Sharmel runs in for a DQ with a crutch.
WINNER – CHRIS BENOIT BY DQ
***1/2 – Awesome match with some really cool spots and a good wrestling pace. Orton gets an RKO post match. I say he should have RKO’ed Sharmel and become a face.
Funaki is on the stage thing from the late 80’s and early 90’s that they used to interview guys on. Funaki’s guest is Kid Kash. Kash goes on about what a “Juventud” is and found out it’s some form of Mexican Salamander. He goes on about how all the cruisers are foreigners and calls Funaki “Sushi Boy” to send us further back into the 70’s. Kash’s new catchphrase “Get it?, Got it?, Good” is actually pretty good. After that he gets The Dead Level on the stage. Careful guys or he might get over.
Fit Finlay promo, woah he’s coming back? AWESOME. I’m a big mark for his ultra stiff British style. Finlay Vs Regal 2006 LET THE STIFFING BEGIN!
Sylvain is in the ring making fun of American’s so he gets the “USA” chant. He says his new years resolution will be to make everyone appreciate him. Lashley comes out and crushes him in short order. Sylvain bales rather than get killed.
Josh Matthews is with Batista. He says he doesn’t care about the allegations and just wants to fight
WWE Tag Team Championship
(C) Batista and Rey Mysterio Vs MNM w/ Melina
let’s see if they can top the match from last week. I just know Batista is going to end up in some form of compromising situation in this match with Melina that will cost him the match. Mercury and Mysterio start out Rey gets the better of that one and gets a big dropkick to the face for two. Batista comes on and pounds away on Mercury and Nitro and sandwiches them in the corner. Rey gets a double Bronco Buster and then gets a splash on Mercury for two as we go to a commercial
Commercial
We’re back with Batista and Rey in firm control. Rey gets a nice springboard moonsault for two but gets isolated in MNM’s corner. Rey takes a big Nestea Plunge and lands head first on the floor outside. Nitro goes after Rey’s knees and both he and Mercury do some cool double teaming on him. Mercury gets the Stretch Muffler and then goes to a plain old leg lock. Rey falls down on an Irish Whip and MNM do a cool looking move on the knee where Nitro comes off the top into the knee while Mercury holds him on the apron. The one of the only few bad thing about the new Smackdown game is that MNM isn’t on it as you could be assured they would be my tag champs. Rey and MNM do an awesome sequence where he ducks and dodges to try and make the tag and Finally he gets it and Batista annihilates everyone in site to a BIG pop from the crowd. Rey gets a rana off the apron onto Nitro in something you don’t see very often in WWE, while Batista gets a big Power Slam but the ref goes down. Mark Henry runs in and is barely able to press slam Batista. I hope he isn’t around for long as I quiver in fear at the thought of Mark Henry Vs Batista. Mercury gets the pin and MNM win the belts for a third time in a year
WINNERS – MNM
***1/4 – Not as good as the last one but it was gold up until the stupid Mark Henry run in.
Mark Henry? MARK FUCKING HENRY?? Oh Dear. Besides that there were two good matches this week and there was enough to hold my attention but that Melina stuff was so pointless that it upsets me that they can’t something better for such a talented woman. I mean they fired Christy for no reason and her little series with Melina was actually pretty good. Anyway see you all next week.
