The NeelDown Video Review: WWF Wrestlemania XIII
– Special thanks to Jed Shaffer for making this one possible.
– From Chicago, Illinoise
– Hosts are JR, Jerry Lawler, and Vince McMahon
– Opening Contest
The Godwins v. The Headbangerz v. The New Blackjacks v. Doug Furnas & Phil Lafon
Expected all-brawl to start. Winners receive a title shot on Raw, which is kind of ironic that this show is a build up for it. Bradshaw settles in with Henry Godwin. Bradshaw in these Blackjack days asside from the black hair looks rasher who gets booted. Henry gets a clothesline and tags out to Thrasher who gets booted by Bradshaw. Bradshaw gets a slam and tags in Phinias who backdrops Thrasher. Mosh gets tagged in and the Headbangerz are forced to do a series of comedic spots against each other until Mosh tags Furnace who gets a suplex and DDT, then gets a belly to belly bridge on Windham who is now legal. Bradshaw gets a cheap boot on the apron and the Blackjacks get a double team clothesline, but Furnas gets a dropkick. The Blackjacks however dump Furnas and a brawl ensues outside where JB– I mean Bradshaw shoves the ref therefor eliminating his team. Furnas and Lafar get eliminated via countout. So much for Lafar’s spot on Wrestlemania. The Godwins isolate Thrasher and they get in a spitting contest, how fitting. Phinias gets a corner clothesline and tags in Henry who pins for two. Mosh gets tagged in but gets clothesline to the floor by Henry. Henry escapes the countout so Mosh hits him with a crossbody from the apron, then LAUNCHES Thrasher on top of him with style. Headbangerz get a double clothesline as King continues to bash Vince’s knowledge of rock music and how he thinkgs Fleetwood Mac is a hamburger. Thrasher misses a moonsault and Phinias cleans house. Henry tries the drop on Mosh but Thrasher breaks it. Mosh gets a senton on Phinias for the win as Henry was too busy on Thrasher in the corner to break it up.
Winners: The Headbangerz
**1/4
– Honky Tonk Man joins the announce team and King begs for an autograph. “Honky! Honky!” he shouts. That was a bit disturbing, if you know what I mean.
The Sultan v. Rocky Miavia – Intercontitental Championship Match
They get in a pushing contest to start, of course won by slow moving Sultan but Rocky slugs back and hits a pair of dropkicks sending Sultan out to get comforting from Sheik. Rocky misses a forearm and hits the post. Sultan gets the GROIN STOMP and tosses Rocky to the corner for a clothseline that gets two. Sultan locks in neck vice but Rocky gets out only to run into a knee lift and backbreaker. Sultan gets a top rope headbut for two. Yawn. Rocky’s sunset flip won’t budge and Sultan gets a belly to belly. Sultan continues to bore us with a rear choke, which Rocky fights out of and they collide for a double KO. Rocky is able to cover for two but gets beat down. Rocky hulks up and gets a dropkick and belly to belly for two. Sultan pokes the eye but Rocky gets what would later be the famous DDT, and crossbody but Sheik distracts the ref. Sultan gets a thrust kick for two, piledriver only gets two. Rocky gets a schoolboy out of nowhere for the win.
Winner: Rocky Miavia
3/4*, a downright awful match really, but it was enough I guess.
– Afterwards Bob Backlund and Sheik beat Rocky down until Rocky Johnson makes the heroic daddy save. They beat Johnson down but Rocky wakes up and cleans house, and a double team boxing punch causes Sheik to head to the back ending it, reluctantly.
– Guest referee Ken Shamrock shows highlights of bullying Billy Gunn.
– Hunter threatens Marlena with Chyna.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley v. Goldust
Goldust crouches him to start then gets a clothseline and pounds away. Goldust gets the atomic drop and clothselines HHH to the floor. HHH gets tied up in the ropes and Goldy punches away and clothselines him back in. HHH gets a facebuster but gets slammed by Goldy. HHH tries a superplex but Goldy blocks it so HHH shoves him to the outside in a nice bump spot. Back inside HHH gets a fist drop for two, then a pair of hard whips and neckbreaker for two. HHH locks in an abdominal stretch as Marlena pretends to be puffing on the Cuban. HHH uses the rope but Goldy gets out, only to get dropped by a knee lariat for two. Goldy gets a low blow but gets suplexed. HHH drops the knee for two. Goldy gets a press for two and they collide with forearms. Goldust counters a double axe handle with the ASS CLOBBER as Vince and company stumble for words. I should be hired for that one. Goldy gets a backdrop and sends him to the corner for two. Goldust tries the Curtain Call but HHH counters into the Pedigree which is blocked, Goldy goes for the Curtain Call again but stops as Marlena is in harms way with Chyna, HHH knees him into Marlena who falls into Chyna’s bearhug, HHH grabs the Pedigree for the win.
Winner: Hunter Hearst Hemsley
*3/4
Owen Hart & British Bulldog v. Mankind & Vader – Tag Team Championship
Vader pounds Owen down to start and nails him with the flabby forearms. Owen takes him down with a spinning hell kick but gets caught and slammed, but evades the elbow drop. Vader gets a jacknife bomb and goes for the Vader Bomb but Bulldog fights him off. Mankind gets involved and Bulldog hits a double clothseline on the heels. Bulldog suplexes Mankind but Vader attacks, he gets suplexed also. Bulldog locks in a rear choke on Mankind who gets out. Vader pulls down the rope dumping Bulldog where Mankind tries hitting him with the urn but misses gets a drop toe hold by Bulldog, but Vader hits him with it instead. Vader suplexes Bulldog back in for two. Mankind in, back drop, Vader back in. Mankind chases Owen outside and Owen gets a belly to belly. Back ina nd Owen gets an enzigiri and the hot tag to Bulldog who cleans house. Mankind gets the mandible claw however out of nowhere and he takes it to the outside where it’s still locked in and Bulldog passes out resulting in a countout so Bulldog and Owen retain the titles.
**1/4, the chemistry between these two teams just doesn’t mix, it turned out being a match with some good stuff but nothing great.
Stone Cold Steve Austin v. Bret Hart – Submission Match (special guest referee Ken Shamrock)
Slug fest to start and Austin gets shoved into the pole outside. Austin comes back by crouching Bret on the barricade and they brawl through the crowd. Austin gives him with FAN’S COCA COLA DRINK THROW but Bret goes back in control. Bret blocks a piledriver and turns it into a back drop. Back at ringside Bret gets an axe handle. Austin whips him into the steps and gets a punch off the apron. Back in Bret gets a swinging neckbreaker and works on the hamstring. Bret misses a stomp to the knee and Austin gets the Stunner. King brings up a good point (seriously) that he should watch out not to knock out his opponent because he won’t be able to submit. Bret mistakingly picks up a special Wrestlemania chair, so he has to go get an old blue one instead, and he puts Austin’s leg in it. Bret goes up top but Austin runs up and gives him a chair shot, followed by another and a suplex, but misses the second rope headbut. Austin gets a legsweep and locks in a submission but to no avail. Austin locks in a Boston crab but his eye gets poked. Bret charges but gets dumped as Austin’s celebration cycles some boos. Bret whips Austin to the gate taking out the timekeeper’s table. Austin is bloodied and Bret hits the knee with the chair. Austin gets a low blow out of the corner and hard face-first whip. Austin stomps a mudhole and sets him up top and connects with a superplex. Austin gets an extenstion cord and tries to choke Bret out, but Bret grabs the bell and nails him with it. Bret has the sharpshooter locked in and after a while of struggling Austin passes out and Shamrock stops the match.
Winner: Bret Hart
*****, one of the best Wrestlemania matches ever, and what most people say was the best wrestling match of all of the 90’s.
– Bret’s cheers turn to jeers when he continues working on Austin’s knee until Shamrock pulls him off. A fresh ref tries helping Austin up, but typically he stunners him instead.
Nation of Domination v. The Legion Of Doom & Ahmed Johnson – Chicago street fight
Ahmed in the LOD attire just isn’t working. It’s squash the heels to start and Savio and Crush double team Animal on the ramp. Hawk nails Farooq with a trash can then starts hitting everyone. Hawk misses a 2×4 shot but the board bounces off the turnbuckle and he catches it. Impressive, I suppose. Animal tries piledriving Farooq through the Spanish table but they fall off. Farooq gets sprayed with the fire extenguisher but the nation kill everybody with the trash can. Hawk gets sent into the giant street sign. Ahmed fights the nation of and slams Farooq through the table. Savio superkicks Ahmed and gets killed by Animal’s trash can. The extenguisher goes off again and Savio chokes Ahmed with the rope. D’Lo pounds on Ahmed for a while but gets fought off. Savio and Johnson brawl to the outside as Farooq is busy choking Hawk. Johnson is getting triple-teamed and he gets beat down with a nightstick. No comment. Crush works on Vega but Hawk sprays him. Doomsay Device on Crush, Hawk and Johnson hit Crush with the 2×4 for the win.
Winners: LOD & Ahmed Johnson
**, I guess.
– In a totally random spot, King complains because his crown is missing. Shawn Michaels gets his own entrance and pyro pose to do guest commentary, which I agree with Lawler that it is a bit rediculous since he isn’t even fighting.
Sycho Sid v. Undertaker – WWF Championship Match
Bret comes out to threaten Shawn, then Taker, then Sid who gives him the powerbomb. This allows Taker to attack and get the old school. Taker gets caught in a bearhug off of a splash attempt as King and Michaels continue to argue. The hold still slowly moves on… Sid thankfully breaks it and gets a big boot. Sid kicks Taker through the French announce table, and Hector and the boys over at the Spanish table must be happy they finally caught a break. Back in Sid applies a camel clutch then gets an axe handle. Taker punches his way into it but gets slammed for two on all three pins by Sid. Leg drop by Sid gets two. At this point, Michaels must be feeling what we have all been suffering through. Taker gets the flying forearm and tosses him. Back in Taker misses an elbow but comes back with a slam for two. Sid gets out of a hold on the shoulder but Taker catches a boot and knocks him down for two. Double boot and Sid gets the pin for two, then gets a pair of double axe handles but misses the third. He pokes the eye though, and gets another slam. Taker sits up and crouches Sid up top then does the Flair toss. Taker gets the top rope clothseline for two. Sid gets out of the piledriver and turns it into one of his own for two. Bret is back and he wacks Sid with a chair. Back in Taker gets the chokeslam for two, then it’s back to the devastating flying forearm but it misses and Sid sets up the powerbomb, but Bret is out again to brawl with him on the apron, and Sid turns around into the Tombstone giving Taker the title.
Winner: Undertaker
*1/2
End of show.
