The NeelDown iMPACT Zone
– The logical pre-rant for this week would be the week of sports, which was full of boring half-assed NFL wildcard playoff games, Texas defeating USC in the Rose Bowl so all the Horn fans can yell “We have the number one player in the country now!!!” This also allowed people to think that, because of Vince Young’s amazing performance in the game that he will get drafted by the Texans, since Young is coming out of Houston. Well, these fans of course have no idea what they’re talking about, as the franchise has a renewed confidence in David Carr. And quite honestly, I can’t blame them for having that since Carr plays solid when the offensive line plays worth two shits. All the Young stuff is getting blow out of preportion. People are still saying Bush is better (rightfully so) and Texans fans take it as “offensive”, like people are trying to make excuses for USC losing. Um… how about the fact that Reggie IS better? How about that people wouldn’t even be talking about Young getting that draft pick if it weren’t for that game? How about, instead of debating about Bush-Young, the fans being nice to each other for a great game, one of the best in college history? Personally, I think it’s a win/win scenario, and both fans will lower their blood pressure in the process.
– Over at my LJ (www.livejournal.com/users/markneeley/) read my open letter to the Shark’s announcers.
– To everyone reading this from Queen City Comics in Fairfield, enjoy!
– From Orlando, Florida
– Hosts are Mike Tenay and Don West
Team 3D v. Lex Lovett & Buck Quatermaine
I thought Buck was in WWE now. Bubba dominates to start and the Dudz get a double flapjack. Lovett fights back on D’von but D’von ends up squashing he and Buck, and they get the 3D on Lovett. Well, maybe this week they gave us the benefit of the doubt and switched up to tag squashes instead of the Joe and Rhyno squash. I don’t think Lovett’s couple of punches to D’von really made it any more solid though.
-*, for starting off the show with an awful opening contest.
– The Jarrett Crew are in the back discussing their plans for Sting’s funeral. If it is half as decent was Team 3D’s, we are in for a real treat.
Homocide & Apollo v. The Naturals
They start to brawl and Konan knocks out the ref for the DQ. The Outlaw, BG James, Billy Gunn, the new ageD outlaw makes the save. What a way to debut Homocide, and for ruining another perfectly good match. I know Homocide is still hurt, but that was pointless.
-*
I think for now on -* will just be the sign of a downright terrifingly horrible match. There’s no point in adding extra points, because quite frankly I don’t feel like judging how bad of a pain it was to watch the match.
– Strong, Shelley, & Aries complain that they don’t get enough time because they aren’t Joe, Daniels or Styles. I wonder if TNA actually realizes how truthful that segment was. Or, maybe they actually did it and had a camera rolling by mistake.
Bobby Roode v. Ron Killings
Killings rolls him up six seconds in for the win. Man, the creative team is REALLY lazy tonight, aren’t they? Roode whines and gets a rematch, so I’ll just keep it in this one. Rematch: Roode attacks for a bit but gets a roll up in a matter of seconds. D’Amore says now they’ll ready for him. Rematch two: Killings chases D’Amore around ringside allowing Roode to get a clothseline. Back in Roode gets a rear choke which Killings fights out of and gets a flying forearm and gets a running powerslam for two. D’Amore fails at the HOCKEY STICK POKE OF DOOM as Killings fights him off, but Roode hits him with the Northern Lariot for the win.
Winner: Bobby Roode
1/2*, need I say it again, for continuing to bury the non Petey-faction of Team Canda. For people who thinking “why is he saying that since Roode won the match”, I don’t think two losses in a ten seconds and cheap victory is really too assuring.
Roderick Strong, Austin Aries & Alex Shelley v. AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels & Chris Sabin
Unfortunately as I’m typing this in an e-mail document, somehow the first couple minutes of the match got deleted, which was basically Shelley and Strong going back and fourth against Styles. Styles hit the textbook dropkick and Pele, and here’s where I picked up again. Aries gets the diving headbut on Styles in the corner. Aries gets a leg lariat to Styles for two. Styles gets the Pele out of nowhere and tags Daniels who cleans house and gets a backbreaker on Shelley then DDTs on Shelley and Aries. Angel Wings on Shelley is blocked by a dropkick by Strong. Sabin gets a duel missile dropkick taking out Daniels and Shelley, then Sabin and Daniels get dueling suicide dives on them outside. Aries drop toe holds Daniels into the barricade. Shelley gets a chair but Styles dropkicks him. Back inside Sabin tries the Cradle Shock on Strong but it gets blocked and Shelley gets a front bulldog off the ropes for the win.
Winners: Strong, Aries, & Shelley
***1/2, now, imagine what you just saw/read, and think if they would have gaven it longer than five minutes.
– Main event promo time, as Jarrett presents us with a Sting tribute. First he shows us what Sting looked like in 1990 when he beat Flair. It’s Erik Young dressed up. Next up is Sting in 1996 who is the vintage Sting with the little black bat. Following him is his crow, which is someone dressed up in a chicken mascot costume. Planet Jarrett haters can go to hell because this is CLASSIC stuff. Time for Sting as of recent days, which is Monty Brown in a collared shirt and blue jean shorts with a baby stroller. In the stroller is a baby doll with a Sting mask on. “That’s how we stroll” is what he says. This is getting hilarious. Man, that was great. Damn, Christian interupts to say that they look like jackoffs. West has apparently turned into the token heel announcer now who is saying that this is “funny” and “entertainment.” Team 3D and Christian break it up in the ring and the chicken turns out to be James Storm. Abyss comes in and kills the faces until Rhyno Gores him. Jarrett, the three Stings and the chicken are shown on the ramp as we fade. Great stuff there.
– That, along with the Team 3D funeral were two of the most humorous segments I’ve ever seen in wrestling, which just goes to show just how creative the heel crew can be and turn something as tired out as a Sting return into something funny.
End of show.
The NeelDown: I would suggest skipping over the first half of the show on the replay and watching the six man tag match and main event promo. A shaky reccomendation for this one due to the first parts, but the second half if worth giving a shot.
