THE ELIMINATION CHAMBER
WE’RE ALL PRAYING FOR ANGLE…
It’s time for the New Years Rabbolution!!!!!
Joining us tonight are:
BILL
HERNANDEZ
JENNA
ERIC
MICHAEL
OMAR
Joining us late in the game, SIMON and SAM
And your host.. the Me.. James Hatton
So let’s get to the show!
We get an opening package of wrestlers discussing the Elimination Chamber.
“Triple H isn’t in it to win it by a nose hair. Winner – hopefully not Cena” – Jenna
“Cena.. logistically, they have nobody else.” – Eric
“Exaaactly” – Omar
“The Spanish Inquisition.” – Hernandez
“We won’t expect it” – Me
“Cena.” – Bill
“Like I even follow this stuff…. the Bushwackers” – Michael
“I say Angle… All the way out.. Angle” – Me
Starting the show.. is EDGE AND LITA!
“You think you know me!” – Edge
Now though it’s time for the NATCHA BOY!
“WOooooo!” – Bill
“Woooooo!” – Bill
EDGE vs. RIC FLAIR
Intercontinental Title Match
“Woooooo” – Bill
“Edge looks like he’s trying to do math in his head..” – Michael
So the match starts with Edge charging him.
“He got knocked down mid Wooo.. he got Wuh” – Michael
“Playing the part of Matt Hardy.. Ric Flar.” – Hernandez
Edge chokes him out in the corner.
“How’s it feel to be on the other side!” – Bill
Ric gets up and chops him.. back body drops him.
“His catlike reflexes…” – Bill
“He’s gonna turn around and lick himself?” – Michael
So Lita goes after Ric and the Nature Boy charges after him… he gets around the third corner and WHAM Edge Spear. On the outside Edge beats down on Flair, throwing him back in.
“Did anyone just see Lita’s G-String?” – Jenna
“Tuesday already?” – Me
So Edge takes it do Flair… toss to the corner with a clothesline. Snapmare.
“WOuldn’t it be great if the lights went off and it came back on and Flair was bleeding.. and anytime the lights went off.. Flair was bleeding.. the NEW Bloodbath.” – Hernandez
Edge continues on top until he tosses out Ric and Edge goes to attack from the top of the mat and he leaps, but eats a chop in the chest.
“I used to like the strut.. now I think it’s just arthritis” – Michael
Flair struts around, hits the kneedrop… goes to the top rope, and as Edge charges in he thumbs Edge. He thumbs Lita.
“Right in the eye.. she’s used to it!” – Hernandez
And he leaps on Edge! Goes for the pin! Two only!
Ric goes and clips the knee, kneedrop, a little strut, and Lita hits the top turnbuckle to whine. Flair comes over and as Edge charges, he ducks and Edge goes out.. and in comes Lita!!!! He gets the figure four and locks it in.
3
2
1
*KWANG!*
The metal case to the head and that’s the bell….
WINNER BY DQ: RIC FLAIR
Edge clocks him for awhile to open him up. Edge leaves and meanders off as Flair bleeds away.
Todd Grisham is now standing buy.
“Didn’t he write clear and present danger?” – Michael
He introduces Kurt Angle and goes right into the anti-soldier bit. He says that he is not a fan of “The Black People”. He doesn’t even like “Jesus”… proving that he can do whatever he wants.. say whatever he wants.. and they will still cheer him.
“I CAN MAKE ANY JOKE I WANT TONIGHT!!!!” – Hernandez
He also states he’s the greatest wrestler in the world today.
“A wrestling….. god?” – Bill
Back in the ring.. Flair is still bleeding.
Now it’s time for the background story of Trish vs. Mickey James…..
“Rick James… bitch?” – Michael
TRISH STRATUS vs. MICKEY JAMES
Four breasts… not the important ones…
They shake hands and Trish pulls her in and stares her down.
“Kiss her!” – Michael
“If you lose.. I’ll give you oral…” – Hernandez
“Something to think about” – Bill
Wristlock from Trish, and Mickey cartwheels out of it. They lock-up, Mickey gets the headlock, and rolls it into a hammer lock. Reversed by Trish and into her own headlock. Maria tweaks her. Yes.. you read that right.
“She’s getting in her head” – Jenna
“..and her bra” – Bill
Another reversal on hammerlocks… then a fireman’s carry into a roll-up and a great technical wrestling combo from the girls! Trish throws Mickey into the
Mickey HOLDS THE ROPE OPEN for her.. nice!
Mickey goes and tosses to the ropes… and Mickey gets the shoulder check. Nice! Then Trish gets to her feat and the bitch punchfest begins! It looks pretty stiff too!
Did someone say donkeypunch?” – Simon
Trish goes for the handplant hurricanrana… Mickey tries to reverse into a toprope ddt…
“Stiff… no.. that’s me” – Bill
Mickey slides out and Trish goes to do the kick through the second rope and MISSES … crumpling.
“All this cameltoe.. no Davari?” – Jenna
Mickey goes and fondles the Woman’s title a bit… then throws Trish in and then to the ropes.. but Mickey gets Thesz Press instead – and now Grish all on the big fists… then she licks her hand and
“POP SQUISH!” – Michael
She tosses Mickey, brings her to the top turnbuckle and HITS the rana… goes for a pin and gets a kick RIGHT into her face. Mickey runs, grabs the headlock… STRATUSFACTION!
A long long pause before the pin and she gets 2.9! 2.9!
Mickey is pissssed.
She picks up Trish and goes again for it.. Trish reverses.. Mickey misses the chick kick! TRISH HITS IT!
WINNER: TRISH STRATUS
Maria is in the back.. looking awesome… and she interviews herself! It’s adorable how she talks about how she’s going to strip alllll the other girls. She though, is interrupted by Gregory Helms.
“Wassupwitdat!?” – Jenna
Shelton rolls in with his mama… who discusses how he hasn’t been in a match at a ppv since his intercontinental title.
“Are we going to make a Campbell soup commercial?” – Michael
Now here comessss Jerrrryyyy Lawler.
“Oh King give up.” – Bill
“My first instinct was ‘He’s still alive?'” – Michael
“Not the way he commentates” – Bill
“Now comign down the ring.. weight 43 lbs.. it’s the disinterred corpse of Andy Kaufman…. Jamie, that was for you” – Michael
“Awwww…thanks…” – Me
JERRY LAWLER vs. GREGORY HELMS
Helms pushes Lawler to the corner… and lots of preening and things.
DANI SIGN OF THE NIGHT: “I wish Batista was here”
Helms charges him into the corner and continues the beatdown. Helms tosses Lawler to the ropes, reversed, and back bodydrop. Helms tosses Lawler, and Helms drops and Lawler waits… and punches him right to the face.
Another rope toss and Lawler mocks him with the Hurricane arm over cowl face thing, and then tosses Helms over the top rope. Now Lawler is up on top and as Helms comes in, he gets pushed into the corner.. but eats a thumb in the eye and Helms charges him and snapmares him down.
Sideslam for two. Suplex. Another suplex. A third. Pin for two.
He puts Lawler in a chinlock.
“Which chin did he put that lock on?” – Coach
“Oooo Coach with a zinger” – Me
He throws Lawler out of the ring and tosses him around… hits the commentating booth and as you can see.. none of us are that interested.
Top rope missle dropkick.
“I’m surprised Lawler has this kind of stamina..” – Hernandez
“Stamina? He’s doing his resusi-Annie impression..” – Michael
So finally Helms charges, and Lawler MOVES! OH MY! He drops the straps.
“Set those puppies free..” – Michael
He does some big fists and then asks the crowd for the piledriver… but Helms reverses it. Helms goes for the top but Lawler gets up and charges him….. he falls to the ring and Lawler hits the 2nd rope fistdrop.
WINNER: JERRY LAWLER?!?!?!?!
In the back there is some sexy talk between women…
Then back to Shelton’s Mom who is upset with the Kraft table, and the lights go red as Mrs. Benjamin bends over and HERE COMES VISCERA?!?!?! OH GODS NO! They have the exact discussion you can imagine… followed up with the Disturbed commercial
“Well… Disturbed… I am?” – Michael
Now it’s time for the TRIPS vs. SHOW set-up
So here comes theee biiiig showwwww..
“..who is wear a chef’s hat on his hand.” – Michael
“Now he’s got a fist the size of Triple H’s nose..” – Jenna
“He’s got a fist the size of Triple H’s HEAD!” – Michael
“Is he giving us a thumbs up?” – Hernandez
“He’s flipping us up…” – Eric
“IT’S TIME TO FILL THE QUOTA!” – Bill
“IT’S TIME TO SPIT AT THE CAMERA!” – Michael
BIG SHOW vs. TRIPLE H
3 minutes of paaaaaaaain….. plaaaytimmmme
The Rabble takes note it is now 9pm. All of this .. in one hour.
Show is taunting with his fist and Trips is backing off and complaining about the fist of Show.
“Trips, the song is 3:15… get in the ring” – Michael
“Our demographics show that people like watchign Triple H getting beaten to hell” – Me
So Show finally charges, and Hunter rolls…. a couple more times and then leaves to the outside. So finally Show gets a hold of Trips and beats him up for a lil bit. Then bails. He rolls in as Show chases after him and Show tries to climb in, gets hit.
Back in the ring finally, he tries to toss Show into the corner.. and fails, getting thrown out of the ring… again.
“Wouldn’t it be neat if Show took off the cast.. and was holding a gun” – Michael
“Do you expect me to wrestle… no… I expect you to dieeee” – Bill
Finally Show goes after Hunter, and Trips gets a knee to his face. Trips leaps onto him and gets caught! Show swing his cast fit, and Hunter moves hitting right againt the corner post.
“Look… candy’s falling out!” – Hernandez
“Chavo comes running at him with a stick..” – Michael
So now Show is all in pain. Some more fist slamming into the post and Hunter removes the cast! He drops the knee onto the hand a few times.
“Hit him with something else.. like your OTHER hand” – Bill
So Hunter charges and he DOES hit him with his other hand. He charges and Hunter drops to have Show fall out of the ring and after a long process of boredom in comes Show and now Triple H just keeps the ‘beat on the hand’ theme.
So Hunter keeps him in a .. err. handlock.. and Show PULLS, giving him a snapmarish throw as Show bails.
Look….. we have just bailed on this match entirely…… Trips beats on his hand.. finally Show gets ahead of the gae and tries to do the chokeslam with the bad hand… he turns to pimpslap Trips and instead knocks out the ref.
Trips rolls out to get the sledgehammer.
“SEE EVERY OTHER TRIPLE H MATCH EVER!” – Hernandez
He runs in and charges and Show CATCHES the sledgehammer and breaks it in half with his other hand. Hunter tries to charge again and eats a kick.
“Was that a superkick?” – Hernandez
“That was a SUPER MEGA ULTRA Kick” – Bill
Hunter bails out and goes for a chair, and as he tries to charge in.. Show kicks him in the gut. Trips DOES though finally get a chairshot off right on Show’s hand, and as he goes for another… Show SPEARS THE HELL OUT OF HIM!?!
He grabs Hunter by the hair and drags him in and as he picks H for the chokeslam with the other hand… Hunter gets him with the sledgehammer nub and hits the pedigree conveniently JUST as the ref wakes up.
“Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaame” – Omar
“Whatever” – Hernandez
“I concur” – Me
Weak weak weak match.
WINNER: TRIPLE H
In the back Chris Masters and Carlito are talking to each other. They discuss how everyone else in the match has been a champion which means…
“We don’t deserve to be here” – Me
They discuss how they can work together… wheeee
And now.. here comes Shelton Benjamin with his Mama…
He grabs the mic and asks Viscera to apologize to his Mama.
His Mama grabs the mic and says that he wants Viscera to come on down so her son can beat his ass.
“The worlds largest love machine… Viscera” – his music
“oh. god. no.” – Michael
SHELTON vs. VISCERA
oh. god. no.
Lock up and a hiptoss from Viscera who lands on his feet. He eats the clothesline instead though.
“Somewhere the Big Apple Circus is wondering what happened to one of their tents..” – Michael
Lock-up again and armlock from Shelton. Belly to back lock-up and Viscera throws the ass out and Shelton gets bounced. He charges in and gets bounced to the outside.. again.
Viscera comes out and gets pushed around by Mama, and in runs Shelton to clock him right on the head. Back in the ring, and Shelton hits him with a kneelift. Kicks to Viscera’s leg…. another dropkick to Viscera and a flying cross body off the top rope drops the big man.
Shelton drags Viscera to the ropes and leaps on his leg…. now the commentators haven’t been talking as Mama hasn’t shut up.
“It’s like she’s sitting in a movie theater” – Me
So Shelton charges in on Viscera and eats a samoan drop instead. Now SHelton keeps getting up just like his Mama asks.. but he keeps getting clotheslined down. A bodyslam. Then a big splash for two.
Headbutt from Visc. Chop. BIG Tiltawhirl sideslam from Visc… then… the.. ahhh..errrr… dryhump…. gods i hate viscera. A shortarm clothesline and then finally.. thank god.. MISSES THE BIG SPLASH!
Shelton climbs on Viscera’s back and punches the hell out of him.
“Looks like he’s riding a bantha” – Michael
Viscera falls onto the second rope and gets clocked by Mama’s bag. He stands back up and the caught spinkick for the pin…
WINNER: SHELTON BENJAMIN
In the back… Shawn is putting on his boots and here comes Vince who wishes the man good luck. Vince comments that nobody has ever been #1 in an Elimination Chamber and won…
Shawn comments that nobody has ever come into the Royal Rumble #1 and won it.. or won the first ladder match.. or, etc. Vince starts laughing.
“Yeah, the chances of that happening has the same chances as HELL FREEZING OVER……… BRET.” – Vince
Oh my.
Now it’s time for sex sex sex and sex… and I ight say Lillian is looking mighty fine.
Who is the lech tonight?
“Me” – Bill
“Maria” – Eric
“The one who most likely looks like a broken schoolgirl” – Michael
“I’m going for a Candice I think” – Me
THE BRA AND PANTIES MATCH!
First down.. is Maria in a comfy velvety pants and a silvery top.
Next down… is Candice in her standard Black Queen outfit… she drops the cape to show a silver.. very silver.. bodythingy…. corsetty thing.
WINNER SO FAR: CANDACE…
The bell rings and Maria charges in. A good ol fashioned kick in her uterus. Maria tries to charge her and fight back, but she loses her top, but hits a drop toe hold on Candace to remove HER top!
“Ahhh sweater mittens…” – Bill
“..kittens..” – Michael
“Oh, sweater kittens…” – Bill
So Candace throws her to the corner and Candace hits her over the ropes, and locks her leg around Maria…. she turns around and Maria pulls off her pants!
Here comes Torrie in just a black pants and shirt combo. Nothing wonderful.
So Torrie and Maria fight with a couple pants loss… until Torrie hits the handplant backelbow, and as she goes to rip off Maria’s pants, Maria kicks out and pulls off Torrie’s shirt.
“Do you get more points if you can get their panties off without taking the pants?” – Michael
The girls fight punch to punch and get all catfight on each other and roll over the ref…
“That poor poor poor ref” – Me
So while Torrie goes and yells with the ref here comes Maria and YOINK!
Third down… it’s Victoria in a shirt that says ‘Lets get this over with’.. that’s worth points.
Victoria comes in and charges through in lil brown hot pants and a t-shirt. Victoria puts her on the top turnbuckle and
“…sick of this, rips Maria’s breasts off…” – Michael
Throws Maria down.. then gets the pants ripped off of her… showing lil cute pink thigh high stockings.
Now here.. comes… mae.. young… god.. kill.. us all….
“WHere is Trips Sledgehammer” – Michael
“I call Shenanigans” – Simon
“This has reached Rigamarole status…” -Michael
LECH UPDATE: TIED CANDICE & MARIA (She’s just so cute)
So now… they drop the lights and play the stripper music…
“HERNANDEZ GET US SALT!! FOR MY EYES!!!! NOW!!!!” – Michael
So Mae goes and strips for us all…. and sign of the night… the WOO fans have turned their sign into MOO!
So as Mae is leaving… Victoria charges to attack them… and Moola stops her and they turn to strip her… it’s a long long uncomfortable bit where they try taking off all of her clothes… not just bra… Victoria is left with pants in the ring….
Here comes Ashley in an awesome pleated skirt and lil corsetty bit.
She charges in and gets hit for the Widow’s Peak… reverses out of it and grabs Victoria’s pants along the way. She throws her skirt out into the audience.
“…time to search ebay…” – Simon
WINNER: ASHLEY
LECH AWARD WINNER:
CANDICE’S SILVER CORSET
ASHLEY’S PLEATED SKIRT
MARIA’S KNEE STOCKINGS
“Not a mat classic, but it will be in all the DVD packages” – Joey Styles
Now the chamber is being lowered… and we’re going smokin’.
Here comes Kane, right into his …bulletproof chamber…
And now..
“The Mastergrease” – Michael
“POOWWWDDERRRREDDDDDD TOOASSST MAAAAAAN” – Bill
“I’M SSHPESSHAL!” – Me
“LOOK SHHPARKLES!” – Bill
“Bringing you tomorrow’s sucky.. today..” – Michael
“Pioneering suck…” – Bill
Chris Masters
Someone spitting in the face of cool things…
“Why don’t they get him the rights to the song Tequila” – Hernandez
“I like that he looks actually intimidated by it” – Eric
“That’s because his people built it.. oh..wait..” – Hernandez
And now it’s time for the special callout
“One Fish
Two Fish
Red Fish
Blue Fish
Old Fish
New Fish
Goy Fish
Jew Fish” – All of us…
Kurt Angle gets into his chamber and he hits the walls.
“DON’T DO THAT! YOU’LL SHATTER IT!” – Eric
“We give you the eighth wonder of the world… Kong!” – Bill
Now.. the Champ Is Here…
Even the Rabble has nothing to say about Cena.. just giggling about how Angle is banging his head against the cage.
It’s time for the sexy boy…
“I’ve got the thing…
It’s got a motor…
It spins around…
And it drives the girls wild…” – Michael
“I got hungry
I made a sandwich
I downed it with
A big old glass of juice” – Bill
“I got a coat
It’s really shiny” – Michael
“I got sick
I took some Nyquil
Now I’m seein
Shit in the walls” – Bill
“Went to the zoo
I saw a monkey” – Michael
And the Rabble has found something new to destroy… Shawn Michael’s music.
“All you have to do is imagine a scenerio…. it’s awesome.” – Bill
“Went to the mall…
I saw a Movie…” – Michael
“Went on the net…
I saw the Rabble” – Jenna YES!
Now the bell rings and it’s Cena and Michaels in the ring to start this wholllllle thing off.
They lock up and fight for the hammerlock. Cena gets an elbow to the face and as he back body drops Shawn the boos begin! Shawn tosses him to the outside, and we watch as Shawn and him fight near the cage.
“HE HIT THE CHAIN…
It really hurt em'” – Michael
Shawn brings Cena back in and charges him into the corner with a huge chop to his chest… and then a second… and as he hits the ropes Shawn hits him with a knee. Another HARD toss to the corner.
He goes to toss Cena, but a reversal and Shawn gets caught into corner and kicked on the top turnbuckle and we are on 5…4…3… WHO IS IT..
Here comes Carlito, right after Cena who tosses Cena RIGHT into the ropes and hits him with a HUGE dropkick. Carlito hits the ropes and a somersault over the top rope RIGHT onto Shawn! NICE!
Carlito holds his back, realizing how bad of a move that was. In the ring now Cena gets to his feet and goes to hit Carlito, but Carlito blocks it and gets a rock bottomish… for two.
“He’s doing it.. the Carlito Way” – Michael
Carlito has cleared house.. how does that HAPPEN!?
“Good.. I don’t have to clean Vince’s limo anymore..” – Sam
Carlito continues to hit back and forth to each of them, going for a pin on Shawn for two. He tosses Shawn in and gets caught in a roll-up for two.
“The power of chaps compells you.” – Hernandez
Cena grabs Carlito and begins hitting him.
“He catches more shit than a latrine at a fat camp..” – Bill
So Cena and Michaels team up on Carlito. And the countdown begins… and the boys have now begun making speak and spell noises as the lights choose the chamber.
IT’S ANGLE! HE COMES IN AND HITS SIX BELLY TO BACK SUPLEXES!!!!
“That is cleaning house!!!!” – Hernandez
In the back Davairi has climbed the OUTSIDE of the cage to watch on.. awesome!
Angle throws Shawn to the outside. Throws Carlito to the outside. Suplexes Cena in the ring and then heads outside to monkeyflip Shawn RIGHT into the chains…. Angle has destroyed all!
“He hit his face…
He’s really bleedin'” – Michael
Shawn is in fact bleeding. As Angle goes man to man and breaks them a little further. He throws Shawn into the glass and it doesn’t break.. but it does smear it real bad.
“Apparently not bulletproof OR streakproof” – Michael
As Angle goes after Cena, the crowd goes bonkers cheering him. He goes for Carlito and goes for the Angle Slam.. reversed into Carlito going for the chinbreaker… reversed into the Ankle lock!!!!!! HE’S GOT IT!
FIVE SECONDS LEFT!
HERE COMES MASTERS!
“..the dog says.. woof woof” – Michael
Here comes Masters and stops the Anklelock.. and HE cleans house.. a beautiful powerlam to Cena! A nice press slam to Michaels! It’s entirely impressive.. until he hits the Masterlock on Angle… but REVERSED INTO THE ANKLE LOCK!
CENA STOPPED IT!!! HE GETS SET INTO THE FU!!! REVERSED INTO THE ANKLE LOCK!!!!!
The crowd is going nuts!!!! SUPERKICK FROM NOWHERE?!?!? SUPERKICK!!! THE CROWD IS PISSED! ONE… TWO…. THREE!!!!!
ANGLE ELIMINATED BY SHAWN MICHAELS!
Now it’s started to split off a bit… Masters on Cena and Carlito on Michaels. Cena finally throws down Masters, only to have Carlito there waiting. And there is consistant beatdown of Shawn and John.
Here comes Kane though!
“YOKOZUNNNNAAAAAA” – Hernandez
“OWEN….. KWANG!” – Eric
Here coes Kane… clothesline to everyone.. sideslam to Carlito.. another clothesline to Masters and Carlito. Powerslam to Masters and Kane hits the top rope, but Carlito charges and gets hit. Masters gets up there and they fight on the top turnbuckle. Masters goes for the superplex.
“You know the pure comedic value of Masters winning should be taken into a count here.” – Bill
He throws Masters down instead though, and while he’s there hits a chokeslam on Shawn. A chokeslam on Cena. He gets tossed into the Masterpiece, but couldn’t lock it in. Carlito hits his backbreaker – and the entire room stops and goes ‘OWWwwwwwww”
Now the doubleteam allience of Masters and Carlito as they hit him with a double DDT. Kane sits up. Masters press slams Carlito ONTO Kane. Carlito on Kane and Masters on Carlito.
KANE IS ELIMINATED BY CARLITO & MASTERS
Split off again.. Masters on Cena and Carlito on Shawn. Finally they pick out Shawn amongst the crowd and the double team begins. Double toss and Shawn hits the crossbody onto Carlito.
“FINE! Hit the spanish guy first!” – Hernandez
“It’s the fro.. it’s a magnet” – Michael
He hits the reverse atomic drops on BOTH of them.. and in walks Cena with Masters and Carlito out on the outside. Shawn catches Cena in a bodyslam and crawls his way to the turnbuckle. Shawn hits the big elbow off the top!
“..and Shawn.. is dead.” – Bill
“He’ll come back in three days” – Me
Shawn seems to be fighting his feet.. and then here comes the JESUS KICK!
J E S U S C H ! ! ! HITS IT RIGHT TO CENA!!!!!! But in run Carlito and Masters! Double teaming and the Carlito finisher to Shawn! HE GETS IT!
SHAWN MICHAELS IS ELIMINATED BY CARLITO
Cena now gets to his feet and they double toss him to the ropes.. he holds and THROWS THE DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! He hits the five knuckle on Carlito! Goes for the FU, but is stopped by Masters. They fight it out on the outside with Masters hitting a DDT on the steel…
Masters heads in to grab Carlito and help the man up to his feet.
Wait for it…
They climb outside and they BOTH throw Cena right to the chains and the man is bleeding. The doubleteam beatdown on Cena right in the middle of the ring. They hit the double suplex. The rabble has already decided that this will only end when one hits the other by accident.
So Cena gets put up on the top turnbuckle and the double belly to back, and Carlito tells Masters to put him in the Masterlock… he got it in…. and THE CROWD IS CHEERING THE MASTERLOCK!
Carlito runs in with the lowblow and the roll-up
CARLITO ELIMINATES CHRIS MASTERS
Cena rolls up Carlito!
CENA ELIMINATES CARLITO!
WINNER: JOHN CENA
WAIT THE BOSS IS HEAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
There is one more match! Vince McMahon announces that the show is not over!
“It’s EDGE!” – Bill
Oh yes it is! It is! John Cena now has to defend his title against Edge! NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE!
JOHN CENA vs. EDGE!
He charges in and I’m totally stoked to see the end of it.
Edge is standing waiting for the bell to ring…. waiting to charge in…. the bell rings and Edge hits the big fists dropping John Cena.
Pin… one.. two.. NO!
Again one.. two.. NO!
Edge sizes up the spear….
HE HITS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ONE
TWO
TH–NO! GOD DAMN IT I’M MARKING LIKE A SUMMABICH!
“Use Lita.. Flash Him!” – Bill
Edge is standing there…. it’s taking too long, and he’s sizing him up for another spear…
“never repeat the spot” – Me
HITS IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION!!!!!! EDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The crowd is cheering EDGE!?!?!?
THIS IS AWESOME!
Let me just state for the record again…
THE WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION!!!! EDGE!
Edge takes a moment to SPIN the title…
“dreidel dreidel dreidel…” – Bill
Lita gives him a kiss..
“I totally never loved Matt” – Me
“……or Kane.” – Bill
So with the biggest swerve in a LONG time… what did the Rabble think?
“Jaw Agape” – Eric
“Thank God.. toldja it wasn’t Cena” – Jenna
“It WAS Cena…” – All of us…
“Do you have any asians as your champions?
Do you have any latinos as your champions?
Do you have any blacks as your champions? No.
Give it to Edge.” – Hernandez
“He fills the white trash quota..” – Jenna
“He’s not white trash.. he’s Hot Topic.” – Bill
“Show .. ehh.. dual main event.. Really Good.” – Omar
“Awesome Rated R!” – Sam
“Spider-Man thought it was an excellent show..” – Bill (wearing a Spider-Man Mask)
“I thought it sucked.. and Spider-Man is a menace.” – Bill (without the mask)
“DAMMIT PARKER I WANT THOSE PICTURES ON MY DESK BY MONDAY.
That was a really good show. I will still be routing for the Bushwackers for next time” – Michael
“Too bad it wasn’t Angle.” – Simon
“I agree with Simon, but I have to say that McMahon gave us the swerve that we needed to make was want to keep watching. With a middle line champion like Edge, who is easily a transitional one, the Rumble is going to be incredible.” – Me
So that’s the New Years Rabbolution.. we’ll see you tomorrow night!
