I suppose that if I were truly disappointed with Beauty and the Geek, which I watched religiously this past summer, I would have resolved to ignore its second installment. I’m like that with some reality shows. I have no interest in catching the latest season of The Bachelor. Even The Amazing Race lost its appeal for me when nine-year-olds were added to the mix. And after Richard and Mindi bowed to their competitors Chuck and Caitilin on the season finale of Beauty and the Geek, I shrugged and turned off the tube, thinking the show was really dumb and pointless, even though I gushed about it in a column a few weeks before.
So why was I so excited to see that it had returned? Why was watching it like bumping into an old high school friend and catching up over a few gin and tonics?
Well, the answer lies somewhere in rapidly yellowing pages of my own adolescence (I just turned thirty, you see). Like a huge chunk of the known high school universe, I never saw myself as part of a particular kind of crowd, although I can admit that my G.P.A. and Saturday night activities probably moved me closer to geek camp than they did to homecoming court. I did, however, have several girlfriends that were pretty and popular (including one who went on to become Miss Minnesota). And, although I didn’t date much until I snagged the Norwegian foreign exchange student senior year, I know that one of my exes is now a physics professor, while another works as an engineer for IBM.
So I guess you could say that I already know that there’s more to this new crop of beauties and geeks than meets the eye. I have sympathy for both crowds and know that when it comes down to it, we’re all just people who want a lot of the same things: success, love, fun, and a chance to break out of whatever stereotype we feel we’re stuck in. A nice cash prize is fairly attractive, as well, since the winning pair on the show receives $250,000.
Another reason I dig on this show is that it delivers a huge ego boost, probably not just for me but any viewer who lies inside the extreme beauty/geek spectrum. In the first few minutes of the season premier, the host announced that casting agents had gone out of their way to find geekier geeks and hotter girls than last season. Throw in a bit of careful editing, and the viewer is left with caricatures rather than accurate representations of who the contestants really are. I know this, but it doesn’t stop me from feeling like some amalgam of Stephen Hawking and Jessica Rabbit when I watch the show. I am suddenly a super genius for being able to correctly identify photos of Kelly Clarkson and a Philips head screwdriver (something two of the competitors failed to do in the first challenge). I am an instant sex pot when I remember that I have a leopard print string bikini sitting in my dresser. Beauty and the Geek makes me feel like the total package.
And while that may suggest that I’m scoffing at a bunch of clueless dorks and peroxide airheads, nothing could be further from the truth. There’s something sort of beautiful in watching people learn from each other and resolve to change the things that they don’t like about themselves. In a way, it’s a shame that the show has eliminations at all, since the whole point is reflection and self-improvement (and yes, humiliation on national television at the expense of entertaining the masses). But this is America, dammit, and we expect to see one team emerge victorious. I just hope that no one is kicked off the show before a romance or two blossoms, even though the host insists that Beauty and the Geek is not a dating show.
So who do I see as the most promising contenders? I won’t list them off with their partners just yet, since at the end of the first episode, the producers cleverly hooked viewers into catching the second show in order to find out who challenge winners Amanda and Chris decided to repartner themselves with.
Beauty Favorites
1. Tristin
This 21-year-old psychology major from Maine doesn’t strike me as a ditz in the least, given her instant insights into some of the other players. She very skillfully calmed down panic-stricken Josh by admitting that she felt incredibly nervous about meeting the boys clad only in a bikini and mini skirt. She also seems the most aware of which strategies will best keep her in the game, such as doing her best not to alienate others. Tristin could probably get along with anyone and seems the most genuine of all the women on the show.
2. Brittany
While the other women’s occupations are all listed (cocktail waitress, model, dental assistant, etc.), Brittany is simply listed as “The Innocent One,” a detail I find strange but hilarious. And she really does seem that way, admitting that she’s never slept in the same room as another guy. I have my eye on Brittany mainly because I think that she’s a sweetheart who could use a healthy dose of confidence. If she is able to stick around for a few more shows, I think we could see a more assertive side of her reveal itself.
3. Danielle
I just liked the fact that when Danielle first introduced herself to her partner, Karl, whom she compared to Napoleon Dynamite, she was really warm and friendly toward him. And looking more closely at her bio on the WB website, I discovered that she works in a library and wants to be a nurse. Plus, she brilliantly described the thrill she gets when getting a new pair of shoes as “a shoegasm.” What’s not to love about this girl?
Geeks of Choice
1. Josh
His partner, Cher, described Josh as a combination of Carrot Top and Woody Allen, which seems dead-on. Of all the men on the show, Josh is in the most need of some help in the confidence department. I really feel for the guy, who has Generalized Anxiety Disorder and panic attacks. I’m no shrink, but having read The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook for myself, I know that facing one’s fears is one of the best ways to overcome them. I sincerely hope that Josh can do that and have some fun in the process.
2. Brandon
This guy rules simply because, when asked to identify the father of Britney Spears’s baby, he said his own name.
3. Wes
He really, really, really looks like that ex-boyfriend of mine who is now a physics professor. And that’s very sexy to me. If I weren’t married, I would totally do Wes.
I’m very psyched about what lies ahead for this bunch. I don’t see cocky Chris lasting much longer and frankly, I don’t think he should. His ego is already big enough. I also think that Sarah, who is currently paired with my hottie Wes, won’t be in the running for very long because she appears to be taking the game too seriously. I mean, she had tears in her eyes when she and Wes were eliminated from the first competition. I find the combo of Jennipher and Ankur pretty entertaining, especially when they argued about tweezing Ankur’s unibrow and his small shoe wardrobe. It was hilarious when Jennipher stated with incredulity that Ankur only packed three shoes. Tyson is cool, too, with his mad Rubik’s Cube skills. I can’t believe he hasn’t gotten laid at least a few times because of it.
