So WWE done gone and lost its mind last week and my job is to give all of you my hearty opinion on it. But to be honest, there isn’t much to say. I think I just about covered it with my first sentence. But alas, I do have at least a few more pages to write to make you happy, so, um…on with the show…
Angle! Angle! Angle
What? How did Angle, a Raw talent, book over to Smackdown and take their World Title? Did he quit Raw? Apparently not, because he’ll be taking on Shawn Michaels tonight. Did he get traded? For who? And who traded him, since there is no GM? Did his contract expire? Well, he is going to be on Raw tonight. So in the end, Kurt Angle is Smackdown’s champion, and it’s all Mark Henry’s fault. But lets celebrate Angle, with some help from the good people over at YouTube:
Best pizza ever bitches.
Speaking of Mark Henry, I was able to find some video of him at WWE Christmas party. This is Mark, a little too drunk, trying to lift his contract.
Afterward, Vince McMahon was overheard laughing while stating that he never thought that fat f*ck could lift something with so much dead weight.
Backstage At OMEGA
OMEGA, the true believers in backyard wrestling and 150-pound people getting over, has tried to sway WWE Champion Edge to come into the fold. He declined, stating that he could not do so because of his treatment after banging Lita. OMEGA released this footage as evidence.
To hell with WWE…yep, I’m cheating on Raw and maybe taping it for the next 5 months. And I’m cheating on them…WITH A MAN!
I’ll talk shit now, but I’ll suck his dick for my job back
Well, I couldn’t get the video because it’s gone…which I’m going to comment on also. However, Road Dog and Kip Dog or whatever did a little shoot on Triple H where they talk about how much of an asshole he is and all that.
Scott Hall once said, “In this business you can make money or you can make friends. I said to myself ‘I have friends, I’d like to make some money'”
Kip and Road are still making friends, all these years later, with no money in sight.
IT’S…ALL…SO…REAL…WAAAAAAAAA!
Take a look at Blatt’s girlfriend in the crowd. Yes, I haven’t knocked on Blatt in a while, because he has abandoned me. But f*ck it; I’m taking the cheap shot. Look at his girlfriend AND his boyfriend almost crying…
The only thing they could have done when putting the video package of Dave forfeiting together would have been to put it to this:
Byte Mah Nutz, Slapnuts! TNA’s online show…4am…Japan!
HOLY SHIT! Bret’s coming back!
This is very funny and very original…
Final Resolution: I’ll lose weight this year
– Yes, TNA had a Pay Per View last night and I’ll be dead honest, I had no interest in getting it. Jack’s back motherf*ckers! Also, regardless of what Pro Wrestling Illustrated and it’s band of idiots think, there is no war going on right now.
– Judge Christopher Droney, according to Meltzer, “has indicated that unless WWE gives him a good argument between now and 1/25, that he will rule in favor of Brock Lesnar, giving him a summary judgement. That would enable Lesnar to work anywhere he wanted and for anyone he wanted immediately.” WWE has filed for an injunction to prevent Lesnar from working the February 19 New Japan Pro Wrestling show being held at Sumo Hall. This is reminiscent of last month, when they tried the same thing for Brock’s Tokyo Dome show appearance, for which they were given a hearing but then pulled out.
Here is a good reason: He signed a no compete clause and was an arrogant son of a bitch leaving the company. He figured he would be an NFL All-Pro by now and he’s not…so he wants help. It’s bullshit.
Back when HHH was funny…
This may become a regular thing…
And that, folks…is how you do a column when you have no material. See you next week…enjoy 24 or Raw, your choice.
RIP Michelle Dessler – Love ya Reiko!
