Woodstock. Woodstock II. Woodstock III. Save for the name, what do these three events have in common? Well, they all solidified the futures of some already established musical stars and MADE quite a few more. I guess that’s what happens when at least 20,000 people cram into a 20-acre field in the Adirondacks.
Coachella. Lollapalooza. Many musical genres…lots of opportunity for both fans and artists alike. Sounds like fun, but who the hell puts these things together? People like you and I.
Especially people like me.
My first experience at a large, outdoor concert festival was either the H.O.R.D.E. Tour in 1997 or Field Day in 2003. Yes, one definitely comes before the other chronologically, but in all honesty, I was just as wide-eyed for the atrociously planned, yet thoroughly entertaining debacle at Giants Stadium (Field Day) as I was as a college Freshman toked out on “Uncle Milty’s Herbal Supplements” in 100+ degree heat in Saratoga (H.O.R.D.E.)
At Field Day, Radiohead and the Beastie Boys were the headliners, and due to having copious amounts of time on my hands, I got to see some bands I may have never seen live: Gemma Hayes, Spirtualized, Elliot Smith, Bright Eyes, Beth Orton and Liz Phair. Hell, in between bands, I was treated to Homestar Runner skits, well, they were Strong Bad emails, but its all the same to me, and that led to another fascination. Yup, I am a mark for anyone who says “Dear Crap-for-Crap.”
In 97, H.O.R.D.E (which, for those who care, stood for Horizons of Rock Developing Everywhere…which is pretty stupid) I was introduced to Kula Shaker, Ben Folds Five and more. Granted the show was headlined by Neil Young and Crazy Horse, I didn’t care. His set was so bad that night that I walked home from Saratoga Performing Arts Center; a good three or four miles…in the pitch dark. That’s the sign of a really shitty set, when a moderately drunk and partially high 19-year-old would rather walk home under the light of an overcast moon than stay in a well lit park and get a ride home with friends after the show. Either that, or I wasn’t really f*cked up, but I can’t remember which.
Skip to the not-so-distant future:
Three years ago, while working at my dead end retail management job, which I can assure you was, in fact, a dead end job, I got an idea: I wanted to throw a show of my own. I was, at the time, doing lots of signings for Trans World Entertainment, or Shit-Co, so I was meeting more and more of the artists and managers. I had done booking in college as well. If anyone else could make this happen, I could, right?
Kinda.
First time I tried, I didn’t fail. The show didn’t happen, but I didn’t lose anything other than my time and energy, so its all semantics I guess. People will say that the true measure of a man isn’t how many times he falls down, but how many times he keeps getting back up. Those people are already successful and need to shut up.
My show, the Bored Stork Festival was to be held at the Empire State Plaza in Downtown Albany. The Office of General Services for the City and the State of New York were completely in love with the idea. I know this because I not only still have emails sitting around in which they said exactly that, but it was a good idea. A lot of people, I am sure, have had the SAME idea, but I guess that very few people, evidently, try to do it. Maybe I should have taken that as a sign. The angle I came up with was that I was going to schedule it to coincide with the return to area colleges. I contacted all the major universities in my area; i.e. Siena, St. Rose, U-Albany, Skidmore, and all of their Student Activities directors were interested in allowing me to promote the show on their campuses. Simply, I wouldn’t be arrested for handing out flyers on their grounds during the first week of school.
This would be the ONLY risky thing I did, as I was trying to keep the whole event very simple and yet, give off the air of class and awesomeness that I had experienced myself at those other memorable shows. There was something happening those days that despite the rain (in Field Day’s case) or the heat (H.O.R.D.E.), I knew I would forever be intrigued by open air festivals. Maybe it was just the anticipation, but I think we all could taste it in the crowd. It was palatable…almost like chocolate.
See, this wasn’t some hole-in-the-wall club. Not a shitty venue with shitty sound in a do-nothing town. This was a BIG DEAL. This was a big ass concert.
Some groups seem to have the formula for success down. An example of this would be the folks behind Vans’ Warped Tour, which has been going strong for 10 years now. Now, if this whole “scheduling a concert” thing was so easy, wouldn’t Perry Farrell have been able to make it happen these last two years? If it were only about money, wouldn’t it all be easy? It might have been.
But, growing up either: a) broke or b) bad with money taught me how to pinch a penny. I just never did it. I still don’t. I spend like I will catch some rare skin disorder if I keep more than $400 in my bank account. Did I mention that this skin disorder evidently eats away at things like common sense and ration? Yeah, I have got an infection…
In case you are wondering, the first version of the concert was pretty small. There were only ten scheduled acts with Ben Folds and Ryan Adams (pre-Rock and Roll) as the headliners. Financially speaking, the State Assembly, had I planned this event MUCH further in advance, was willing to kick in some cash to alleviate the $25,000 financial burden that was going to fall solely upon yours truly.
The rest of the lineup included: Maroon 5 (before they were signed to J Records, and were just on Octone,) Wetwerks, Bipolar and Sirsy (three local bands with rabid followings.) There were more bands that have since broken, but, honestly, you probably are having a hard time thinking that “li’l old me” almost pulled this shit off all by myself. Sometimes, I think back and remember what it was like to be so hungry to be successful, to be so desperate to make some work, and I laugh.
Not because I had fallen down flat on my face, which I did. The State got nervous when I stalled in signing a contract. I mean, seriously, it was going to cost me $25,000 out of pocket WITHOUT the $100,000 insurance that I was going to need. Now, I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t carry that kind of green around. If I had it, I sure as shit wouldn’t work at the OLIVE GARDEN! I probably wouldn’t have to work.
So, to make a long story short, I almost pulled it off. All the meetings and budgeting, contract talks and advertising deals and I did it, mostly, on my own. I had someone that wanted to help, but he never really dove in with both feet. No one would really give me that type of commitment until Salty came along after I failed with this idea a second time. I cancelled the idea one week before I was to have the artists contracts in my hands. For my future’s sake, I couldn’t have taken a chance that big without more time. The subsequent two attempts would come with more time, and more money, but I still fell short and have yet to figure out what it is, exactly, that I can’t seem to get right.
Maybe one day I will sort it all out, cross all the right T’s and dot the correct I’s, so to speak. That time just hasn’t come yet, and I am a bit sad that while the West Coast folks get to witness Coachella year in and year out, the East Coast doesn’t have anything comparable…yet.
Hmmm, does that mean I am thinking about it again?
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Plugging the Bitchin’ Music $h!t
DP Wieland – He’s NOT Dead!
1-900-Idiot-Savant – His Name’s Trevor!
Brian J. Blottie – He’s Pissed!
Gloomchen – She’s Her Own Brand Name!
Aaron Cameron – He’s Saying Goodbye…Slowly
Honestly, Cam is a good dude. Please read his final columns and learn a thing or two. About what, I don’t know, but you WILL have fun doing it!
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For all the crossbreed Metalhead/SITASS fans out there, chew on these tasty morsels of heavy music goodness.
If you’re into NY Hardcore and want to know what it sounds like when old-schoolers click the refresh button then check out IRONBOUND NYC – With a Brick coming Jan. 24 on Thorp Records and featuring members of Sick of it All, Killing Time, and Maximum Penalty.
For those of you who are interested in real metal history, and not the mainstream crap on VH1, try picking up a book. In particular, Choosing Death: The Improbable History of Death Metal and Grindcore by Albert Mudrian. Kerrang! Magazine says “A must for the purist and the novice.”
In the “this sounds so strange it could be really good” department, System of a Down’s bassist Shavo Odadjian is reportedly working on a side project with The RZA and GZA of Wu-Tang Clan fame. Rumors also indicate that SOAD’s singer Serj Tankian may also contribute. Not with his vocal ingenuity but as the drummer. Ok, System and Wu-Tang, I can’t even imagine the insanity but it is certainly intriguing.
In breakups and teamups news, Biohazard has gone on indefinite hiatus after 17 years and 8 albums. Bassist/Singer Evan Seinfeld has ventured into porn with wife Tera Patrick. Drummer Danny Schuler has become a stay at home dad and guitarist Billy Graziadei and ex-Kittie bassist Jennifer Arroyo have teamed up to form the band Suicide City. With an EP out now and the band working on a full length, the best way to get a taste of this indescribable amalgam is to see them live. Suicide City is touring now in a very small venue near you. For more details check out the Suicide City Website.
This is Jon Sevastra reporting from the metal underground for SITASS news.
brought to you by Strattera
Jack and Meg, Meet Bart and Lisa
Two of the most famous sets of fictional siblings, Jack and Meg White and Bart and Lisa Simpson, will meet on an upcoming episode of The Simpsons, reports MTV.com. The episode is titled “Jazzy and the Pussycats,” and the plot follows a fracas between the Simpson family when Marge and Homer buy Bart a drum set. Lisa becomes jealous because she’s the musician in the family; Jack and Meg come in to mediate and wackiness ensues. According to MTV, the Stripes recorded their vocals for The Simpsons in late November. Since the animation takes anywhere from six to nine months to complete, the Whites won’t be hitting the small screen until next season.
Maybe if this appearance works out, the White Stripes will headline the next Homerpalooza.
That last joke WASN’T written by me. It WAS lame enough, but it isn’t mine.
(credit: Spin.com)
DMX Comes Out of Retirement
Never-a-dull-moment rap star DMX has come out of his brief retirement to reunite with Sony Urban Music/Columbia Records — where his career began in 1992 — for his sixth studio album, Here We Go Again, due this summer.
The recently incarcerated rapper made the announcement at a Friday afternoon press conference held at Sony Studios in New York City. He was flanked by his Ruff Ryders motorcycle crew, producer Swizz Beatz (who is working on the album) and, of course, his signature entourage of pitbulls.
“It’s an honor to be back at a record label that feels like home,” DMX, holding a puppy pitbull, said of his new label before making sure to mention his feelings on his former home, Def Jam Records. “When I first went to Def Jam it was like a dream come true. It was a blessing because I was invited to a home. Then they sold the house on me and left me with people I didn’t know that didn’t give a f*ck about me.”
The thirty-four-year-old, platinum-selling rapper was released on December 30th from New York’s Rikers Island jail complex, where he was serving a seventy-day sentence. Last October, X pleaded guilty to violating his parole for crashing his SUV through an airport security gate while under the influence of a controlled substance and posing as an undercover federal agent.
The press conference culminated in a flash of photographers with the poetic X rhyming a prayer, and saying, “There’s always a conversation with the Lord on every album.”
(credit: RollingStone.com)
Walk the Line: Cash-Money at Golden Globes
It’s no Folsom Prison, but Monday night’s Golden Globes were rocked by the spirit of Johnny Cash: Walk the Line, the Cash biopic, cleaned up in the Musical or Comedy category. Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon won for their portrayals of the Man in Black and June Carter Cash, while Walk the Line won Best Motion Picture honors. The Golden Globes have a history of rewarding biographical performances. Last year, Jamie Foxx won for his turn as Ray Charles in the blockbuster Ray, and this year, Philip Seymour Hoffman won for his performance as Truman Capote in Capote, while Jonathan Rhys Meyers won the award for best performance in a miniseries or TV for his portrayal of Elvis Presley in the TV movie, Elvis. This was the first Golden Globe for all four actors.
(credit: Spin.com)
Next year, Jon Favreau and Lou Diamond Phillips will both win awards for their stirring and poignant portrayals of Myself and ATP in Anti-Movie: The Movie. Immediately afterwards, Phillips will die…of embarrassment.
Outkast Finish Movie, Hone Rosa Parks Tribute
According to Outkast’s manager, the duo’s long-awaited movie project, Idlewild, will be out on March 10, with the accompanying soundtrack out on Valentine’s Day. “You gotta let creative be creative,” Outkast’s manager, Blue Williams, told MTV about the delay.
“Creative” isn’t being very practical lately: With the album due out in less than a month, Big Boi and Andre 3000 have yet to finish recording. As a result, the first single will probably be a solo outing by Big Boi called “The Train.” Says Williams: “I think after your fourth and fifth album, it starts to feel like a job, too.
Sometimes you gotta do other things…I think fresh things give us fresh perspectives to come back and do what we do, but there’s no timetable on that [album].”
MTV.com also reports that the boys from Hotlanta are spearheading a tribute album to Rosa Parks. “We’re trying to do a tribute special for her and get a lot of entertainers involved,” Blue says. Outkast also plans to turn the special into a DVD aimed at schoolchildren as a way to honor the late Mrs. Parks and her contributions to civil rights.
(credit: Spin.com)
I am sure that Mathan would want me to say something nice. Mike Eagle would like me to say something cool. The Bootleg wouldn’t care what I say, so that is cool.
OUTKAST’S MOVIE IS COMING OUT MARCH 10TH! IF YOU SEE IT, PLEASE SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE FACE…IMMEDIATELY!
That is all.
Soon, Soon, Soon
“Sometimes I think I’m bigger than the sound,” Karen O sings on the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs tune “Cheated Hearts,” just one of the shockingly great cuts on the YYYs’ long-awaited follow-up to Fever to Tell, due in March. (We have a hunch it may be called Like a Warrior, not Coco Beware, which was an Internet hoax.) The Smoking Section got a sneak listen to all eleven tunes, including “Turn Into” — on which Karen O channels Siouxsie Sioux and Nick Zinner layers his multiple guitar parts with preternatural precision — as well as “Dudley,” “Honeybear” and “Phenomenon,” which you should add to your “when I drop acid” playlist as soon as possible. Drummer Brian Chase reports that the band wrote the songs in L.A. during the first half of 2005, but “it wasn’t until we got into the studio in Brooklyn that the songs took shape.” He adds, “Now that [the songs] are finished, we still don’t know what they sound like — it’s been said that music makes audible what gradually becomes visible.”
(credit: RollingStone.com)
Ssquared’s Weekly Weirdness
Hmmm, how does one man top his last Weirdness? Well, I could give you…LAZY SUNDAY!
…wait, you have already seen that?
Did you see that Brittany Daniels, the hot chick from Sweet Valley High AND Joe Dirt did a nude scene? Cool, here’s that instead…and its definitely NSFW!
Kickass. It’s nice to be back. See you next week.
Until then, keep it real!
Ssquared
