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Before I review tonights show, I would like to send out my sincerest apologies to The Wrestling Observer, Inside Pulse, and anyone else that I offended last week. I had a severe family emergency arise and made the obvioulsy wrong choice when it came to my column. I took the easy way out and gave this great website a black eye for which I hope will recover. Once again, I apologize for my actions. That being said….

Tonight on WWE SmackDown! The highly underused Rey Mysterio will take on the World’s Strongest (And smartest in the area of contracts) Man, Mark Henry to decide a number one contender for Kurt Angle’s newly won World Heaveyweight Championship at the Royal Rumble. We also get the debut of Fit Finlay (Here’s hoping he still wears the singlet with the cloverleaf on it!).

JBL vs. Bobby Lashley-

The self proclaimed “Wrestling God” comes to the ring with Jillian Hall, complete with bandage since The Boogeyman relieved her of the growth on her face, i.e. the writers suddenly remembering they gave it to her and had no idea how to explain it….anywho, JBL on the offensive early with an attempted shoulder block, Lashley (In an attempt to build up his character’s strength…I hope) no sells the move and JBL falls to the canvas. The former longest running WWE Champion….in SmackDown! history catches the big man with a stiff clothesline sending the Master of the Dominator hard to the mat. Bobby Lashley regains the lead with a poweful suplex, followed up by a clothesline. JBL stealing a page out of The Nature Boy Ric Flair’s book, pokes Lashley in the eye and nails Lashley with the Clothesline From Hell. The lights dim red and smoke fills the arena, signaling the arrvial of The Boogeyman! Lashley capitalizing on the abundance of fear in JBL’s soul, executes The Dominator Power Bomb for the pinfall vicotry.

Winner- Bobby Lashley

New World Heaveyweight Champion Kurt Angle is walking around backstage…appearantly a super baby face now, and is interacting with the SmackDown! superstars. Rey Mysterio comes up to him and says he will be challenging Kurt at the Rumble for the title. The crowd goes nuts…as do I. Mark Henry confronts Kurt and “The Only Olympic Gold Medalist in WWE History” basically tells him to blow off.

JBL is in Teddy “T. Lo” Long’s office yelling at him about The Boogeyman. He demands that T. Lo do something about it and Jillian points out her, um, injury. Long makes the biggest money making decision since the very first day he became SmackDown! GM, at the Royal Rumble, JBL will go one on one with…..Vanilla Ice, wait, The Boogeyman. (I will honestly order the PPV for that match, because frankly, I’ve been engulfed by the newest sensation engulfing the entire wrestling community, “Boogeymania”.)*note, the term Boogeymania is actually what the latest edition of SmackDown! magazine is calling it…honest.

New WWE United States Champion Booker T hobbles down to the ring with Sharmell to celebrate his “win” over Chris Benoit in the Best of 7 series. He claims to be the best United States Champion ever…I think that Harley Race would have something to say about that. Sharmell says the the Rabid Wolverine is a loser. Orlando Jordan runs in and demands a match with Booker T tonight. Booker says that he isn’t cleared to wrestle, seeing as how he’s still on crutches and yet still manages to have a prestigous piece of WWE gold on his waist. OJ pushes The 5X WCW Champion to the ground which sends T. Lo out to make a match tonight between Orlando Jordan and The Legend Killer Randy Orton.

Matt Hardy vs. Fit Finlay

The Sensai of Mattitude is getting it handed to him early by the former WCW Television and Hardcore Champion. Finlay recieves an atomic drop and a slingshot that sees him going over the top rope. When the action comes back to the squared circle, the two exchange a volley of stiff shots but Finlay gets hit with a Side Effect. Hardy almost gets three but “The Man that Likes to Fight” kicks out. Hardy hits a leg drop from the middle rope. Fit escapes the Twist of Fate and leaves the ring, Hardy goes for a slide, but Finlay catches him between the apron and the ring, he throws V1 into the ring and repeatedly hits Hardy with some stiff shots to the face, the ref asks him to stop, he won’t. DQ!

Winner by DQ- Matt Hardy

Video is shown of Batista’s surgery. He says that he’ll be back. *sniffle* that’s what my father said when I asked him why he was taking my dog to the vet…still waiting on my damn dog….anyway…

Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry
#1 Contender’s Match for the World Heaveyweight Championship

Rey Mysterio starts the contest by going after Sexual Chocolate…ewww. In the classic Rey Mysterio vs. a giant wrestler fashion, Mark Henry pushes him down with one giant hand. The action spills to the outside but see’s the World’s Strongest Man get rammed into a barracade and hit with a suicide dive. Rey Rey continues the offensive but Henry powers back and gives the former WCW champ (I swear, nobody believes me, I saw an episode of Nitro where Rey won the WCW Heaveyweight title. Perhaps I’m mistaken, but I swear that I saw it, it was against Kevin Nash…but I digress.) Henry goes for another splash…cause that’s all he can do…but Mysterio rolls away and sets Henry up for his pattened 619 finisher, which he hits thrice. Mysterio heads up top and the crowd roars with chant’s of approval and that of the late, great Eddie Guerrero. Rey hits the frog splash but Henry rolls out and delievers what I must say is a very nice looking gorilla press slam for the victory…dammit.

Winner by not caring what the fans’ want, uh I mean pinfall- Mark Henry.

Orlando Jordan vs. Mr. RKO, Randy Orton

This match is pretty boring, I’ll do my best to keep intrest. Jordan starts off with some volleys and an arm drag. Orton puts the former WWE United States Champion in a headlock (I know, I forgot he had a strap also.) OJ escapes the submission move but gets hit by a beutiful high drop kick. Orlando rolls up the youngest World Champion in WWE history and grabs a fist full of tights. Booker T and Paisley, er, Sharmell run down and Booker hits Jordan with a crutch, thus allowing Randy Orton to hit the RKO for the win. Benoit comes in and attacks Booker T and Orton, giving Orton a German Suplex.

Winner by pinfall- Randy Orton.

World Heavyweight Champion Kurt Angle vs. Khosorow Daivari (I remembered his first name…yay.)

The number one contender Mark Henry and my girlfriend Melina…you heard me, are at ringside watching Daivari get the living hell beat out of him. Angle gives him some belly to back suplexs, a belly to belly suplex, and then tosses him outside onto Mark Henry. Daivari back in the ring, gets and Angle Slam and an Ankle Lock. Before he can tap, Melina runs in and jumps on Kurt, calling for the ref to DQ Daivari. Angle puts Melina in the Ankle Lock but Henry makes the save with a slam and a shot with the steel ring steps.

Winner by DQ- World Heaveyweight Champion Kurt Angle.