Welcome to the live report, I’m Jeremy Lambert and I’m tired as hell. Worked hard today and got no sleep last night so that’s a bad combo. Which means you’re forced to read the highlight version of the show. Enjoy.
We open with a recap of Sting at Final Resolution. Then we cut to Don West rambling about Sting and how he’s going to be at Impact.
Impact Opening Video
Diamonds In The Rough vs. Sabin & Dutt:
*Sabin slams Dutt on Young.
*Dutt tries to springboard but Simon hits him.
*Hurricanrana by Dutt.
*Springboard dropkick by Dutt and he lands on his feet.
*Tree or woe dropkick by Sabin.
*Hindu press by Dutt and it’s over.
Winners – Sabin & Dutt
Douglas is with Styles. Douglas says that at Against All Odds, it’s going to be Joe vs. Styles. They better add a gimmick to that match, I QUIT BITCHES! AJ doesn’t give a damn that Moore has his plaque. Daniels cuts him off and bitches at AJ for throwing in the towel. TRIPLE THREAT I QUIT BITCHES! AJ goes all pussy on Daniels.
Commercials
Douglas says he will get the first word with Sting. Tenay and West schill Sting’s return. Sting, Sting, Sting, Sting.
Team Canada vs. Killings, Hoyt, & Shark Boy:
*Dropkicks by Shark Boy
*Powerslam by Killings on Young
*Backbreaker by A1 on Killings
*Dave Hebner is At Ringside. Maybe he’ll endorse my column
*Killings turns a suplex into a stunner. cool move
*Hoyt powerbombs Young and pump handles Petey
*Canadian Destroyer on Shark Boy for the win
Winners – Team Canada
Commercials
Recap of this stupid ass Gayda Storyline.
The James Gang vs. King & Quater
*I’m not even going to bother with this match
Winners – The James Gang
After the match, Konnan comes on the screen and rambles. At AAO it will be LAX vs. James Gang…I think. I don’t know, Konnan said a bunch of nothing to me.
Sting has been delayed and he won’t be here tonight. Wow, that’s pretty lame. Monty Brown comes in. Monty takes a contract from Zybsko. Zybsko stands there and does nothing. Then again, what can you do when a big black guy steals from you and you’re like 80?
Commercials
Recap of Moore/Styles beef.
AJ Styles vs. Shannon Moore (Street Fight):
*AJ cares so much about Shannon Moore and this feud that he didn’t even bother coming out in his wrestling gear. Shirt and Jeans from AJ.
Commercials
*They fight into the crowd
*AJ dumps Moore over the 2nd tier railing.
*AJ dives from the 2nd tier onto Moore
*SHELLEY AND SHELLEY CAM AT RINGSIDE! (I would rather have him endorse my column)
*AJ drop toeholds Moore onto the chair. Ode To Raven, Nevermore
*Joe is at the ramp
*Moore tries to pilmanize AJs knee but it doesn’t work
*Half crab on Styles
*DANIELS THROWS IN THE TOWEL FOR AJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*AJ gets up and argues with Daniels
*Moore rolls up AJ for the win
Winner – Shannon Moore
Christian is on the cell phone in the back
Commercials
Douglas is with Team 3-D. They are pissed about the outcome at the PPV. 3-D wants to face Canada and AMW. Larry says that next week, he wants to know who they want more. Lets see, Team “Going Nowhere” Canada or AMW(orld Tag Champs). Tough choice
My Main Man Christian Cage is in the ring. Sting was at the movies watching the life story of Monty and Jarrett, Brokeback Mountain. Next week, Sting will be on TV with a huge announcement. Jarrett comes out, here we go Neely. The crowd says that Jarrett sucks. Jarrett rambles about something. Jarrett has the contract in his hand. JARRETT MENTIONS CHRIS JERICHO!!! JERICHO! JERICHO! JERICHO! “After I beat you at AAO, I’m going to send you back to where you belong…midcard status” burn. Monty comes out and helps Jarrett attack Christian until Rhino makes the save. SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT! SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT! Rhino looks to grab the contract but Christian cuts him off. Abyss comes out. Rhino and Abyss battle while Christian and Jarrett battle. Monty Brown is in the ring with the contract. POOOOUUUUUNCE ON THE CONTRACT! Not really, the show just ends.
Show End
