Welcome back to Ringside everyone. You know what’s slowly creeping up here at The Pulse? My One Year Anniversary sharing my little knowledge with my peeps. I’ll plan something not real big so brace yourselves.
News & Shit
–Another 0.9 Rating
At the end of last weeks column I was hoping that I would be able to congratulate TNA on their first 1.0 rating. Well they fell another 0.1 short. It’s probably because they pulled the bait and switch move with Sting but whatever. If Sting does show this week then I think they will hit 1.0.
–Joe gets a staph infection
Lame. “WASH YOUR FUCKING MATS!” Joe Owns You
–Raven is going to take some time off
Well I now understand the loss to Waltman at the PPV. It’s good to see Raven taking the time off to better his health. I know I wasn’t the only one who got sick of Raven panting loudly on camera after every match. Take time off, get better, come back, and end this f*cking storyline
So, Why Did They Sign This Guy?
The biggest news going around the net is that Sting was brought back for no damn reason. Ok, not no reason but little reason as of now. You bring him in for one match, bait and switch move, and now the rumor is that they’re going to keep him off of TV for 2 months to build a World Title Match with Jarrett. How much sense does this shit make? About as much sense as you voting for Sidney Crosby over Alexander Ovechkin for the Calder Trophy (Mark Neely).
Now aside from the obvious faults with this storyline I find the biggest fault to be…Jarrett will still be the World Champion in 2 months. My guess is that Jarrett will face Christian at Against All Odds and good money says that Christian should beat the living hell out of Jarrett and take the World Title off him for a long while. I guess my money is no good in TNA. Maybe if my money was from 1998, it would still be accepted.
Anyway, you bring Sting in for one match and then he “retires” again. Yeah, the only fault with that is that he signed a one year contract and most people know that. So does TNA really expect us to buy him “retiring” again? TNA is full smart mark fans. This whole storyline has “horrible” written all over it. Jarrett is going to win at the next two PPVs and he’s going to make fun of Sting along the way. Here’s a clue, Jarrett focuses less on Sting and more of whoever the hell he’s facing at the PPVs. Scratch that, Jarrett loses the f*cking title to Christian and then Jarrett and Sting can feud over respect or something while Christian tries to get the sour taste out of everyone’s mouth.
In other money news, Chris Jericho and TNA have been in talks but Jericho wants “Sting Money.” That’s it? Chris Jericho wants “Sting Money” and he’ll come to TNA? So you’re saying that if TNA pays Chris Jericho $500,000 for 1 year, they’ll get Chris Jericho? Somebody tell me how to donate my paychecks to TNA.
But honestly, the solution is so simple for TNA. Release Hardy, Nash and jobbers (Kenny King, Shark Boy, David Young, ect..). How much money would that free up? I’m sure Hardy and Nash alone would free up enough.
Jericho wants Sting money and honestly deserves more than Sting money. Sting is still a drawing name but Jericho can still wrestle at a high level unlike Sting.
Then in the long run it would all work out. Jericho and Sting most likely bring higher ratings, which could lead to a better timeslot, which leads to more money. Also, they both bring in merchandise sales so the contract really pays for itself. If Spike wants TNA to sign big names then maybe they’ll help them out with Jericho like they did with Sting.
It seems so simple on paper. Then again, if everything happened on paper the world would be a much happier place.
Everything Else Going On
So what else is going on in TNA? For starters you have this stupid contract thing. I don’t get it is there a name on the contract or is it first person to sign the contract? If there’s a name on the contract then it’s Monty Brown’s name because he was all smiles when he saw the name. If it’s first person to sign the contract then it’s again Monty Brown because he was the only person with a shot to sign the contract. So based on what we know, Monty Brown should be getting the World Title Shot. I mean, what other possibilities are there?
The James Gang and LAX continued their little feud, like we give a damn. What in the hell is up with Kip’s new catch phrase? “I got 3 G’s for ya, GET IT, GOT IT, GOOD!” Well Kip, I got 4 letters for you: STFU!
One good thing from this weeks show is that there was no sign of Gayda (expect those dumbass commercials). Listen, Gayda didn’t accomplish the one thing that anyone wanted her to accomplish. She didn’t bring in Charlie Haas and now she’s useless.
Team 3-D was given a choice on who they want to face: Team Canada or AMW. Are you serious? Yeah, let’s face Team Canada, a team that have just been floating around the tag division for awhile now over AMW, the Tag Team Champs. This is stupider than the ending to their match at Final Resolution.
And finally, AJ Styles and Samoa Joe will fight again and nobody is mad over that. Oh, but now Daniels wants to throw himself in the match. Oh, and nobody is going to complain about that either. You know what would own anything the WWE can do? AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Samoa Joe 1 Hour Iron Man Match. Has there ever been a Triple Threat Iron Man Match? Probably not. So why not make history with 3 of the best wrestlers in the world? Or make it a Triple Threat I Quit Match, either way, “I Ain’t Mad Atchu”
Roundtable Record
I didn’t update last week but I’m back on track this week. After WWE’s New Years Revolution I ended at 4/6. After TNA’s Final Resolution I end up at…….
8/12.
Two losses came from Team 3-D and Raven.
The E-Mail Bag
A whopping 6 pieces of E-Mail this weeks. Lets get to it:
“On the subject of Juvi, I’ve also heard that he can be sloppy in the ring but when he wants to be, he can be very good. I dare him to be sloppy against Samoa Joe. “Joe Will Kill You” might come true.”
i would pay more than usual for a TNA PPV to see that, even if it was the opening match (and not the main event it should be). and just to share a “samoa joe facts” i came up with (very obviously inspired by the chuck norris facts): “chuck norris is god; samoa joe created god.” if anyone else has already used that one, i apologize… but i had to come up with it one morning to defend joe against chuck to some friends who don’t know who joe is.
~j!
What the f*ck is up with all the Chuck Norris talk as of late? I was talking to my friend Mike and he was on some rant about Chuck Norris. I don’t get it.
Anyway, sure, I’d pay to see Juvi f*ck up and Joe kill him
Hey man,
I love your column and I have been reading it since it started. I have also been a faithful TNA fan since its inception. Now typically I let people have their opinions and dont comment on them but this week you decided to tear into them for not having any storylines. I simply don’t see it.
The LAX/James Gang/Killings storyline has been brewing for months and is getting really good. People say, “oh it’s taking so long”. And then complain about storylines beginning hot shotted and blown off too quick. Also, in the end we add two more tag teams to the division and put killing back in the singles hunt. Not bad if you ask me.
Joe/Daniels/AJ has also been a great storyline. I like the subtle ways that its been building. The AJ and Daniels mutal respect committee. By Joe pulvarizing his opponents, though the storyline is not being beat into our heads, just by having him on TV puts the feud out there. Also add Shannon Moore to the mix and stalking AJ and Alex Shelly walking around with his video camera, Dave Hebner scouting the X-Division matches. There is ALOT of subtle storylines being explored and alot of people involved. Add in the AJ/Daniels towel throwing incidents and though nothing is over the top, there is alot going on.
Generation Next…isn’t feuding with anyone…but themselves. Not everyone who watches wrestling is glued to there computers and consider themselves a Smart. Some people have no idea what ROH is and if they do know they may not know who the hell these guys are. Now personally I’ve seen some ROH and enjoy it, but I don’t have the time to keep up with it weekly and hunt down every DVD. So while I have an idea of what happening with them, there is alot i don’t know. Aries beat Joe? Ok fine, but most fans have NO idea about that. Therefore, they need to prove themselves in the ring. They just don’t walk in and leap frog AJ and Daniels. Therefore, they complain that they don’t get any respect because they aren’t Joe/AJ/Daniels and Jerry F’N lynn tells them the need to prove themselves. And they do it in the ring. Which is very cool, these guys are building a storyline with themselves against anybody they are in the ring with. So they have a month or two of matches and bulid themselves up as good wrestlers and legit threats. TNA lets the Joe/Daniels/AJ feud play out and THEN they insert these guys into the mix. Again not hot shoting the angle. Again not alot of over the top storylines but alot of seeds being sown for the future and that is smart booking. Lets put it this way does AJ v Aries mean anything right now? No not really. Now in two months when Aries has established himself in the ring, then it means something.
Raven v. Larry Z. …did the “blow off” suck? Absloutely, but the build was good. And they are dragging it out, which could be a good thing. Raven starts sitting front row at TNA tapings and getting involved as a rogue wrestler. Is this a rip off of an old Raven storyline, sure it is. Could the ending be awesome. Absloutley..the entire storyline drips with Raven’s influence and I don’t think Raven would have agreed to it, if the ending wasn’t explosive.
GANG WARFARE!!! Now I’m a mark for Cliques and Stables and I’m enjoying every second of the Jarrett/Cronies v. The Invaders storyline. It’s being built extremely well and keeping everyone involved in the top of the card. 3D/AMW ending was horrible… but after this week with the Dudleys wanting Team Canada and AMW…i smell TNA TLC. Which will be well worth it. Also everyone is saying the world title picture has too many people involved. Again I disagree. I like that everyone has their eyes on the prize and it only makes the strap more valuable. With so many people involved and the storylines that could be branched off from it eventually, it’s building to be something amazing.
Anyway, didn’t mean to get into a rant but MAN all I see are storylines. And they are doing a great job building for the future.
Keep up the good work,
-ED
Pssssh, half my columns are fan rants…which I have no beef with it.
Now I didn’t tear into them for not having storylines, I tore into them for having stupid storylines.
*James Gang/LAX is boring to me because I don’t care about anyone in the storyline. I may care about Homicide but he’s stuck with 3 guys who have past their time. I don’t give a damn about BG or his dad, I don’t give a damn about Kip or his G’s, and I don’t give a damn about Konnan or his shoes.
*I have no beef with the Joe/AJ/Daniels storyline because I love those guys and they can do no wrong.
*I like Generation Next because they wrestle. Simple storylines and good matches draw me in. Not over the top storyline and bad matches. Generation Next is out to prove they belong and they do that by putting on awesome matches and winning. BG and Kip are out for revenge and they do that by doing the same shtick they’ve done since 98.
*Yeah, they’re dragging out Raven/Zybsko by adding it to the Gayda Storyline and we all know how I feel about the Gayda Storyline.
*I don’t mind the Team Jarrett/Team Christian feud. I mind the Gayda portion of it. I don’t like all the contenders because it’s just too many. I wouldn’t mind Sting, Christian, and Monty. But then you throw in Rhino, Raven (before Final Resolution), and Abyss. It gets to be a headache. Plus it just makes me sadder when Jarrett defeats them all.
Wow, the one week I don’t comment and everyone comments on my….um…comments. Cult leader, indeed!
~Final Resolution was pathetic. The six-man was OK (even with Bentley being a bitch job boy and complaining about it…picking up habits from his teacher HBK). James’/DitR was sad and pathetic as well (and with Apolo possibly on the way out, they have another reason to kill this angle dead). AJ/Tanawhatever was the worst “built” (as in, no build) match AJ has had in a while (and for AJ to have a bad match is pretty rare these days). Waltman/Raven was pointless (no Sandman? Or even Sabu? Blue Meanie? Anyone?) and (hopefully) kills the Zbysko angle. Roode/Killings was more fodder for LAX/James’ and was, as has been most of the card up to this point, utterly useless. Abyss/Rhino was decent, but they need to step it up if they really want to prove something (title shots? Abyss is long overdue). AMW/3-D was poorly booked (I want to see Spike come in…just to finally give 3-D the duke over AMW and end this going-nowhere-fast feud). Joe/Daniels wasn’t a classic, but it was easily the best match of the night (I too would like to see an old school I Quit towel match…would be different). The tag main event was pathetic. Overbooked, like all Triple J main events, and the wrong man went over. Sting isn’t even in line for a title shot, so having him go over Jarrett and not follow up is a stupid move. Who’s booking this?
~TNA fans aren’t ECW fans…two different approaches to their promotions, so it makes sense that TNA wants the fans to tone it down. However, they should keep their ears open for who the fans take to and who they don’t.
~Hemme is hot. Gayda is not. Already, Hemme deserves to be there more than Gayda. Plus, Hemme actually WANTS to be in the business, unlike Gayda who is just kinda there. Swap the two.
~You forgot to add a feud to your list: AJ Styles vs. Shannon Moore. The build has been crap (“I TOOK YOUR PLAQUE, NA NA NA NA NAAAAAA!”) and the match isn’t going to set the world on fire (Moore is highly overrated). Here’s how they could have turned this garbage into gold:
~Each week, Moore comes out and does something to try and get AJ’s attention, but AJ just brushes him off like “hey, who’s this f*cker?” When Moore steals the Mr. TNA award, AJ just shrugs it off and is all “hey, I don’t need a trophy to know I rule.” This goes on until Moore snaps and kills AJ with like five Shock Treatments (I think he still uses that). Match is made for next PPV. Moore becomes a new threat and inserts some life into the X Title hunt (yeah, we all love Joe/Daniels/Styles matches, but we need more). So simple a caveman could book it.
~I, like Eric S., was also hoping for Vampiro, but there’s a problem with that: Vampiro is working for EMLL, not AAA, and Konnan has bad blood with EMLL. That knowledge alone already had Vampiro out of the running in my head (and that sucks, cause Vampiro would have been great to have in TNA again…him and Killings could probably work a 5* match together). Sandman, I believe, was previously booked, so he was out. Kidman has said he doesn’t want to wrestle right now, so he’s out. So who’s left? Sick Boy? Scotty Riggs? DDP? MACHO MAN? Not much that’s not under WWE contract (Dreamer, Stevie, Nova). Tajiri is retired from the sport, so he was out of the question too. So that, theorhetically, leaves Shane Douglas. No wonder they picked Waltman.
~I stand by my Shark Boy comments. Release him or repackage him, cause the gimmick is flat and too cartoony (then again, WWE did get the Boogeyman over….). Besides, doesn’t he have some lawsuit against Disney going on or did he drop that?
~I stand by the Joe comment as well. If it really came down to it, money not an issue, Benoit is worth more than Joe. Yes, Joe has some years left in him. Benoit has killed his body for a decade and a half and has undergone severe neck surgery. However, Benoit has the namesake. Benoit has the experience. Benoit can make something look like it killed you and not actually kill you (although that’s one of the appealing things about Joe…he might just kill you). Plus, Benoit can have a great match with ANYONE. Joe hasn’t proved that yet (at least not in TNA). Can Joe hang with Abyss? Does he have what it takes to take on guys in the Heavyweight division? Sure, beating up X Division guys is fun, but Joe needs to step up. He’s a hell of a talent, but if all the stars were aligned and the deal had the potential to happen, Benoit is a smarter pick over Joe. Besides, when Benoit kills himself delivering a diving headbutt off Six Sides Of Steel, then you can re-sign Joe.
~Juvi can’t be trusted. He’s a phenominal talent when he’s on, but he’s a shitty ambassador for the sport and for the company. And that crap about not having a visa is pure bull. Juvi just couldn’t stay away from the blow.
~The Hardy feud has to end…neither one of them are with the company. Besides…do you really think Matt would have made a difference? He can’t cut a coherent promo and his ring skills aren’t what they used to be. And with the booking team that TNA is using now, it would have just been a Hardy reunion, who would have immediately jobbed to AMW for three months…just like 3-D….it’s time to move on.
~Meeting celebs is great, isn’t it? But, when you’re in a business like I am, it loses it’s luster. I did, however, mark like a school boy both times I met Jericho. You should have asked Sly if Contender 2 is in the works (ouch).
~Steve Smith for Superbowl XL MVP. Gotta watch out for that Seahawks D though…they gave Washington a spanking. Carolina has been my Bowl pick all season, only because I’m from there, but hey, we’ve got a winning season! If it’s Pittsburg, then I’m going to put a bullet in my head (they shouldn’t be getting this far anyway…bastards). If it’s Denver…hello SB ring!
That’s all I got…’til next week.
~Ramsey~
I told you that you were the Cult Leader. Amazingly the cult is growing.
*I already talked about Final Resolution
*Agreed, when the fans boo Jarrett it means “Take the title off this asshole”
*I got no problem with swapping Hemme for Gayda. Although I do find Gayda hott.
*I love the caption Eric put on his Impact Short Form: “I’m gonna have to job to WHO?”
*Shane Douglas would have made more sense than Waltman giving the history between Douglas and Raven. Whatever, the match would have sucked either way.
*I’ll let others argue Joe/Benoit with you. You’ve read how I felt.
*I think we all agree that his work visa storyline is a bunch of shit. Joe should kill him.
*Are you talking about my beef with The Hardys? Because if so, it won’t end. I think Matt would have made a slight difference at the time. He was way over with the crowd and I bet he could cut a shoot promo with no strings attached.
*It was cool meeting those guys in Philly. I met Jericho last year after Raw when he was the only person nice enough to sign shit after the show.
*Blah, Seahawks butt f*cked Steve Smith. I’m picking the Steelers in the bowl because the quarter landed on heads.
See you next week Ramsey
I was listening to the radio at work this morning, and a commericial for mcdonalds came on and it went something like this
Guy: Ally…wake up…i need to tell you something, i think you be interested
Ally: Last time you woke me up to tell me you were giving yourself a new nickname
Guy: Yeah, Flipper. This time its better.
Ally: What
Guy: I’m a dollar menu guy, goes on to list the Mcdonalds dollar menu items
Ally: Thats why you woke me up?
Guy: Thats how I roll.
I havent heard the rest of the commerical yet cause i can’t stop laughing after that line.
I think I should get some type of payment for that. I mean, I am the one who’s been sending promotion ideas to everyone with the ending line “That’s How I Roll”
4. A stfu looks like this STFU.
<333333333333
Lmao I f*cking love you.
*During Heat Mike “The Miz” had a match and we started a “Let’s Go Real World” chant. Miz turned around and acknowledged the chant, that was pretty cool.
Shoulda started a “Where’s Kendal?” Chant =)
But other than that, love you part 2 =)
No Homo
Hello J,
– Did you miss me last week? I actually didn’t write any mail!
Good column this week, actually one of my favorites of yours in a
while. Couple of comments and concerns, of course:
“Blah, whatever. I will say that Hemme is something nice to look at
and it seems like she wanted to be a good wrestler in WWE but women
bring drama, TNA doesn’t do drama. TNA does wrestling. They already
can’t decided what the hell they’re doing with this whole Gayda
storyline so they throw in 500 people to save it. Now they want to
bring in Hemme to stand there and look pretty. I’ll pass on this
idea.”
TNA doesnt’ do drama, TNA does wrestling? I’m sorry, but I can’t say
the current Jackie Gayda angle is exactly “wrestling” and not “drama.”
And what is Gail Kim there for? Yeah, she’s a manager, but she’s
just eye candy. I get your point that TNA doesn’t stress the sexually
impact of women like WWE does, but they hardly use them for “wrestling
and not drama.” Remember the cage dancers?
“I agree that Shark Boy needs to be released. I like his gimmick and
he seems to be good in the ring but he’s just jobbing right now. TNA
could free up the little cash they pay him and pay somebody else.”
Just like many of TNA’s wrestlers. They fall victum to the one hour
time spot and don’t get the light of day except to get squashed. Cue
Kenny King and Jay Lethal, the current token “job boy bitches”,
quoting ECW Raven. I think if released Sharky would go to WWE. He
always mentions one of his favorite moments in wrestling was that time
he was with Foley and Snow. He even has advertised on his web site
(or used to, haven’t checked in some time) a picture of him working a
dark match with some WWE stars.
– Where’s my boy Jarrett in the TNA At Ringside banner? No respect
for man who makes the show?
– No mention of the Impact Monday night replay pulling off a 0.9
rating? Although, I think a lot of that had to do with there being
the NFL playoff game on Saturday night, and whatever that big UFC
thing was.
Also, if you’re paying your money to go to WWE events, and even call
the RAW you were at a “pretty good show”, don’t contine to bash WWE.
It makes you look like a TNA mutant. *wink* By the way, Impact last
Saturday with the 2 six-mans was probably the best Impact yet in the
SpikeTV era. Looks like Jerry finally pulled his head out of his ass
and learned how to manage a 1 hour show.
– Don’t forget to read mine and Jed’s new column, The View From The Cheap Seats.
Until Saturday,
– Neeley
P.S. – Did that rumored Neeley Is A Wrestling God sign make it into the arena?
I always miss you Neely. “YOU’RE MY BOY BLUE!”
*I think you misinterpreted the “TNA Doesn’t Do Drama” comment. They do Drama but not well. Their drama makes me want to watch the Blue Jackets play (Got Em).
*Let Shark Boy go to WWE, his gimmick fits right in and he can job with the best of them.
*Fuck Jeff Jarrett. He doesn’t deserve to grace the At Ringside banner.
*I didn’t mention it because it’s not a 1.0.
*For those new to Neely, a TNA Mutant is…f*ck I don’t know. But he throws out the terms TNA Mutant and WWE Troll a lot. Maybe he’ll be nice enough to e-mail me back explaining it to the dozens and dozens of readers.
*No, the Neely sign never made it because I ended up going with a married couple (Ok, they’re not married, they just act like it. YOU’RE WHIPPED STEPHEN!). Only sign we made was a nicely designed Chain Gang sign. Shout out to Jessica.
Plugs
One thing that I feel like plugging this week is NHL: Ice This! by Steve Price. Why is he getting a plug? Because unlike most NHL fans and experts, Steve Price understands that Colorado Avalanche Rookie Marek Svatos is just as good as the highly talked about Crosby and Ovechkin. And anyone that likes Marek Svatos is cool in my book.
The End
That’s all for this week. If TNA pulls a 1.0 Rating this week I promise hott pictures of whoever the hell you request via e-mail. To request, banter, waste your time, waste my time, or just chat drop me a line at AMPLine4Life@aol.com and join me next time At Ringside.
