Due to Work, lack of Sleep, and having to go into TAFE yesterday, I wasn’t able to do SmackDown yesterday. Also, no Velocity last week because we got a repeat on TV, and I don’t have Broadband. Sigh. Last week on SmackDown;
– Kurt Angle and Mark Henry continued their fued with Daivari now being Mark Henry’s new manager.
– Orlando Jordan was in his best match EVER, if that means anything, with Randy Orton. This set up shenanigans between the two, Booker T, and Chris Benoit. Which in turn set up Chris Benoit verses Randy Orton this week in a No Holds Barred match.
– . . . Nothing else really happened, actually.
You know the common tend; Rated M, Don’t Try This At Home, The Power Is Back; cut to the Mark Henry and Kurt Angle stuff on SmackDown over the last couple of weeks, including Angle firing Daivari on last week’s RAW. And then the usual SMackDown vignette. On a good note, they replaced that stupid Heidenreich screaming with Kurt Angle screaming . . I didn’t expect them to be so quick about it, actually, so I’m impressed. Tonight : Chris Benoit verses Randy Orton – No Holds Barred, as well as Kurt Angle verses MNM. Interesting.
Rey Mysterio and his stupid “Booyaka” music hits, so he obviously comes on out. He’s apparentley dedicating the Royal Rumble victory to Eddie, which is the only way people are going to believe he wins. Mark Henry comes out afterwards, and looks to have a bit more heel heat.
Opening Contest: Rey Mysterio verses Mark Henry with Daivari
Mysterio attacks Henry before Henry can get in the ring, punching him on the apron, and nailing a running elbow to knock Henry off the ring. Henry comes in the ring, and pushes Mysterio down. Mysterio with some drop kicks, but gets clotheslines down by Henry. Henry pushes Mysterio into the turnbuckle, and Mysterio fights off a bit, goes for a sunset flip (on Mark Henry . . Sunset flip by Rey Mysterio on Mark Henry . . . Dumbass) but Henry goes to drop on Mysterio, who moves out of the way. Running dropkick to Henry, some clubs to the back of the neck, but Henry pushes him away. Mysterio goes for a Tornado DDT, but Henry simply slams him down. Henry sets up Mysterio on the turnbuckles, and punches him out of the ring. Henry rolls him back in the ring, and gets a one count. Henry steps on Mysterio’s chest, before picking him up in a Military Body Press and goes to throw him into the audience, but simply drops him back into the ring. Body splash by Henry, who chokes Mysterio for a little while, before foot choking him at the ropes. Mysterio tries to fight back with punches, but Henry clubs him back down. Mysterio rolls out of the ring, as Henry begins to stalk Mysterio around the ring, hiding behind the steps, though the camera never shoes it. Henry kicks the steps down, and Mysterio’s nowhere to be seen . . Shock Horror. Cough. Mysterio comes up from behind, jumps on Henry fro the apron, and sends Henry into the security post – before using the Steel Ring Post as elevation for a standing 619. Henry goes to come back into the ring by Mysterio kicks the rope up into his crutch, and nails a top rope leg drop, before a running drop kick to Henry’s knees flips him back into the ring. Dropkick to a lying down Henry’s face, before he nails a Moonsault, but Henry throws off Mysterio. Henry picks up Mysterio in a Press, but Mysterio gets Henry to go throat first into the top rope, and nails a 619! Mysterio goes for a sitting senton, but Henry catches him! Mysterio flips overHenry, but gets caught in a chokehold and nails Mysterio with a Military Press into Forward Splash for the victory.
Winner : Mark Henry
Another interesting match between these two. I’m beginning to like these two working together, it seems that Mysterio works really well with big guys that are normal height, as opposed to Big Show and Kane. I’ll give it 7 out of 10 for another good match.
Commercials. We’ve got Top Of The Pops back here, again, and people still don’t really care.
And we’re back to SmackDown; taped at Greenville California!
Matt Hardy interview backstage for the Rumble, says he likes to be the driven underdog. Meh.
Randy Orton stretches backstage; when Sharmell and Booker T walks on in and hypes him up. Booker T offers to use his favor tonight in helping Randy Orton win. Orton says he doesn’t need Booker T’s help in defeating Chris Benoit. Talk about titles and destiny leads to Orton saying, if those two are the final two wrestlers in the Rumble, then his favor will be Booker T forfeitng the Rumble victory. Well, he implies it more specifically, but we ALL know he means it!
Video for SmackDown in Mexico . . . I don’t really get the idea of doing videos for international events. Doesn’t really do much except show how much people loved Eddie. If it was just that, then it’d be cool. But it’s not just that.in the videos.
Mexicool’s come out and . . do nothing, really, which leads us to . .
Commercials.
And we’re back!
Second Contest : The Mexicools verses The Dicks verses Nunzio and Big Vito : Royal Rumble Qualifying Match
We’re back as Vito tags in Nunzo and slams down one of the Dicks. I hate commercials during the match to the point where we don’t even see the match. Ugh. Nunzio gets a run up, but Psichosis lowers the top rope and Nunzio goes outside. Super Crazy nails a flyign dropkick on Vito; drop toe hold on the Dick member and locks on a sleeper. Psichosis tagged in for the Mexicool Drop, and Moonsault / Leg Drop combo. Nunzio in and sends the Dick into his corner and tags in. Snapmare on Psichosis for a two count, before locking on an odd sleeper / arm bar combo. Double team hiptoss and elbow drop by Nunzio and Vito. Vito tags out to Nunzio . . . He tagged in?! Double clothesline by Vito and Nunzio; Nunzio puts some boots to Psichosis before elbowing Crazy off the turnbuckle. Vito in, who locks on a Camel Clutch / Steiner Recliner, tag out to Nunzio. Snapmare by Nunzio, and arm lock, but Psichosis goes to fight out. Psichosis gets the tag to Crazy who nails a high cross body. In the corner Crazy nails a elbow, a kick, and a dropkick; shoulder press to Vito, pinfall to Nunzio but the Dicks break it up. The Mexicools have Nunzio all alone, and nail a Splash / X-Factor combo for the victory.
Winners : The Mexicools
I didn’t really enjoy this match too much, because it seemed a bit too much of a Tag Team Match between The Mexicools and Big Vito and Nunzio. Instead of a Three Way including the Dicks. 5 out of 10 simply because it could have been worse, and I kind of doubt it could have been better. On another note, Psichosis and Super Crazy are Rumble bound.
Commercials. Yay.
And we’re back to a Royal Rumble Flashback; Chris Benoit winning the 2004 Royal Rumble. Two year’s later and it still feels like a massive moment.
Third Contest : Chris Benoit verses Randy Orton : No Holds Barried, One Fall To A Finish
Why all the “One fall to a finish” BS? Unless otherwise noted, we know it’s a one fall match. Duh. Circles to begin with, Benoit tries a slap, and the two try to lock hands. Lock up, finally, with the two going into the corner. Orton gets a lock up from behind, but Benoit grabs her arm, while Orton has the tights, but Benoit gets a wristlock on Orton. Orton reverses it and goes back to the reverse lock, and gets a side headlock. Irish whip – Orton elbows down Benoit. Orton bounces off the ropes, but Benoit tries for a German. Orton regains his breath on the outside of the ring as we go to a commercial.
Commercials. Ugh. I really don’t want this Triple Crust Pizza BS by Dominos. I am on a diet, after all.
And we’re back to the two trying to lock up, but Orton kicks Benoit in the stomach and takes him down with a headlock, but Benoit tries to gets the Crippler Crossface in! Lock up again, Benoit gets the arm. Orton escapes it but gets chopped for his efforts. Two more chops and a headbutt for two count. Benoit begins to work the arm again, but Orton escapes the lock with punches between the two. Benoit falls outside and Orton slams him, head first, into the announcer’s table. Chop by Benoit, kick by Orton, who spears Benoit into the apron for a two count. Another pinfall in the ring, using the ropes, gets Orton a two count. Snapmare into rear choke on Benoit, Benoit escapes it only to run into a dropkick by Orton. I love his dropkicks. Orton gets the trash can lid – about friggin’ time too – and nails Benoit with it across the back of the neck. Orton gets the trash can, but Benoit drop toe holds Orton into it. Benoit shoves Orton’s head into the steel steps, and chops Orton. At the announcer’s table, Benoit slams Orton’s face on it, before chopping him, but Orton gets the eyes! Orton picks up Benoit and drops him, neck first, onto the announce table for a two. Orton rolls Benoit into the ring and gets knees to Benoit’s head for a failed pinfall. Orton gets the rear choke again. Stomps by Orton, who goes under the ring and gets a steel chair. Orton gets a GREAT swing, but Benoit ducks, and Benoit goes for the Sharpshooter! Orton kicks Benoit off, and nails a knee drop to Benoit for a two count. Orton gets a sleeper hold, trying the legs across Benoit’s stomach, but Benoit escapes with a Northern Lights Supplex. Out of the ring, Benoit knees a kneeling Orton, before slamming his head into the steel steps. Orton punches Benoit as the two begin to make their way up the aisle. Chops by Benoit back towards the ring. In the ring, Benoit whips Orton into the ropes and gets the fists into Orton’s face. Running elbow drop for a two count. Snap supplex by Benoit, who then attempts the Three Amigos. Eddie’s Chest Slaps taunt by Benoit for those who didn’t get the Three Amigos reference. Benoit sets Orton up on the turnbuckle, and gets some chops, headbutts, but Superplex by Benoit! Benoit attempts a Crossface, but Orton sends the two outside! Orton begins nursing his arm, and gets the trash can again, and slams it over Benoit’s head.
Commercials. Man, that Cheaters show is lame.
And we’re back with Orton having Benoit in a rear choke again. Benoit begins to escape the hold, nailing chops to Orton, thumb to eye by Orton before he nails his patintent Backbreaker! Elbows to Benoit’s throat, which sends him outside, as Orton exposes the cement floor. Orton goes for a powerbomb or piledriver, but Benoit flips Orton and sends him onto the cement. Benoit goes and gets the chair again, as Orton rolls out of the way just in time. Orton rolls into the ring, swings at Benoit but Benoit ducks, and nails a German! Another German! And another German! Benoit signals for the Headbutt! Benoit jumps but Orton puts the Trash Can Lid onto his chest! And Orton begins to set up for the RKO! Orton goes for the RKO, but Benoit pushes Orton off into the ropes, comes back into a Trash Can Lid shot and Crippler Crossface for the victory!
Winner : Chris Benoit
Wow. THAT is the sort of match that should be on SmackDown every week. 10 out of 10, SmackDown standards, specifically. This would, however, make a good Pay Per View match.
Kurt Angle verses MNM – Still to come tonight!
Commercials.
Road Warrior Animal! And he’s pumped! He’s got adrenlaine! He’s got eighties syndrome! Sigh.
Fourth Contest : Fit Finlay verses Funaki
Oh, gee, two of my favourite wrestlers. Sorry if this match is accompanied by sleeping noises, as well as sleep itself. It’s shocking how much cheers Funaki can get sometimes. Finlay slaps Funaki, before nailing a take down, punches, and a short arm clothesline! Leg drop by Finlay. Funaki kicks Finlay in the face. Knee drop by Finlay, scoop slam, before Finlay begins to work the arm. Funaki gets some punches in, but Finlay slams down Funaki using the hair. Stomp on Funaki’s hand and a “Boring Chant” breaks out. Enziguri by Funaki! School boy for two by Funaki. Funaki with an atomic drop, goes up top, but Finlay whips Funaki into the ring, picks him up, and nails a FIERCE Emerald Fuzion for the victory. Finlay attacks Funaki afterwards, and the referee changes the decision.
Winner : Funaki
A better way to put over Fit Finlay than last week’s match aganst Matt Hardy. Albeit, Finlay’s promo afterwards was lame. I’ll give it 2 out of 10 because it was a simple squash match, pretty much.
JBL and Jillian Hall are backstage, Jillian Hall still has the simple band aid on her face. Hall says “I don’t know if you noticied, but I had a small beauty mark on the side of my face”. Classic. I love these two working together.
Commercials.
Bobby Lashley talks Rumble.
Fifth Contest : John Bradshaw Layfield with Jillian Hall verses Scotty Too Hotty
JBL takes it to Hotty with punches and gets Hotty in a headlock. Hotty gets an arm drag, but JBL simply boots him down. JBL clubs Hotty down, sends him into the turnbuckles, and goes for a splash but Hotty moves! Goes for the Worm Bulldog, JBL goes for a Clothesline, Hotty ducks and gets the Superkick! Hotty goes for the Worm, but JBL gets the Clothesline From Hell! JBL goes for the pinfall, but the Boogeyman smoke begins! Worms begin to fall from the sky and land in the ring! And Boogeyman comes up from behind JBL! JBL falls down into the worms, eventually gets out of the ring, and I’m beginning to regret that Spaghetti I had not too long ago . .
Winner : No Contest . . I suppose.
I didn’t like this match but the Boogeyman is slowly growing on me. 0 out of 10 for the actual match, however. Nice little way to build up to the Royal Rumble though.
Commercials.
And we’re back in Theodore Long’s office. Melina comes on in and wants to talk “Business” with Theodore Long . . by showing her leg. Eventually, we find out she’s gotten a swollen ankle. She tells Theodore Long that he has two strikes against him . . Interesting.
Mark Henry interview for the Royal Rumble.
Royal Rumble Card:
Kurt Angle verses Mark Henry.
Edge verses John Cena
Ashley verses Mickie Jamies with Trish Startus as the Special Guest Referee
JBL verses The Boogeyman
And the Royal Rumble Match.
Main Event: MNM with Melina verses Kurt Angle
Because of Kurt Angle, Melina can’t do her usual entrance. Meh, not like I care. You know what? Just because, let’s go to a commercial. Just because.
Commercials.
And we’re back to Angle verses Mercury. The two lock up and Angle gets Mercury down in a headlock but Mercury escapes by using his legs and Angle’s head. Back body supplex by Angle. Mercury gets the arm lock, which Angle reverses into his own and a side headlock on the canvas. Angle elbows down Mercury who goes out of the ring. Tag out to Nitro. Lock up and Angle works the arm, using the knee on Nitro’s chin, as well as attacking his ribs with the knee. The two get to their feet with Angle still working the arm. Uppercut in the corner, whip into the other corner, and Angle runs into a big boot. Nitro goes to capitalise, but Angle flips Angle over. Nitro gets a kitchen sink knee to Angle. Punches to Angle in the corner; but ANgle gets an uppercut and punches to Nitro. Whip by Nitro, Mercury lowers the top rope, and Angle is sent outside, allowing Melina to kick ANgle in the ribs. Nitro tags out to Mercury, and nails a spear to ANgle in the corner. Melina cheers on MNM – Shut up, Banshee! Mercury stumps on Angle. ANgle begins to fight back. In the corner, Angle goes for a spear, but Mercury moves, and Angle goes right into the steel pole. Tag out to Nitro. Running knee into Angle’s gut. Mercury in and the two pick up Angle, and drop him on their knees, right into the gut. Nitro back in, and the two begin to set up the Snapshot! Angle escapes and Belly to Belly’s Nitro, and German to Mercury. Angle fights off Nitro, clotheslining Nitro down. Belly to Belly by Angle; and Melina gets involved! Mercury and Nitro switch, and Mercury nails Angle with something! Taz says a roll of quarters. The deadly roll of quarters. Mercury only gets a two count! Mercury signals for something – but Angle nails the Angleslam! Belly to Belly sending Nitro over the top rope, Angle Lock to Mercury for the victory!
Winner : Kurt Angle
This match seemed a bit off. Or maybe it was just me? I was feeling a bit tired during this, actually – wait! Mark Henry and Daivari make their way out! Angle and Henry go to fight, Henry looks to have the upper hand, but Angle nails the Angle Slam! Angle locks on the Angle Lock, but Henry kicks Angle off of him using the leg in the hold! Henry, Daivari, and MNM celebrate in the ring as SmackDown fades out. Either way, this match seemed a bit off, so only 3 out of 10. In retrospect, the match was basically Belly To Belly on Nitro, and basic arm work.
So, SmackDown the 27th of Janurary;
Rey Mysterio verses Mark Henry : 7 / 10
Mexicools verses The Dicks verses Big Vito and Nunzio : 5 / 10
Chris Benoit verses Randy Orton : 10 / 10
Fit Finlay verses Funaki : 2 / 10
JBL verses Scotty Too Hotty : 0 / 10
MNM verses Kurt Angle : 3 / 10
SmackDown 27th Janurary: 28 / 60
This episode was worthwhile for another worthwhile Rey Mysterio verses Mark Henry, and an excellent television match in Chris Benoit verses Randy Orton. However, everything else was skippable. Until the Velocity Report, ciao yáll!
