Rasslin Roundtable: WWE Royal Rumble

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JBL vs. The Boogyman

PK: I can not see Boogyman winning this match. However, JBL will win, and Boogyman will get his revenge later…
Winner – JBL

Widro: Should be a fun comedy match, although too long would be bad.
Winner – Boogeyman

Eric Szulczewski: There are certain levels of metaphysical pain that one should not have to endure. Watching High-Quality Speaker Boy have to carry someone is one of those. I have a feeling that this match will end up with Boogey being distracted by Jillian Hall’s assets to the point where High-Quality Speaker Boy is able to get a cheap win. If this match turns out to be “winner qualifies for the Rumble Match”, like I think it will, that reinforces that belief. It’ll be relatively quick and painless. Hopefully.
Winner – High-Quality Speaker Boy in an underhanded fashion that doesn’t kill Boogey’s heat.

Iain Burnside: Welcome to the lamest Rumble undercard since 1996. There is not a single match on here that I actually want to see. It wouldn’t have killed them to throw on some funky cruiserweight match, or to have pulled Benjamin and Flair from the Rumble so they can do the damn IC title switch already. Instead we get such wonderful battles as JBL and the Boogeyman. Well, paint a target on my ass and take me to the Blue Oyster Bar. What’s even more depressing is that this will probably be the most entertaining match on offer should they go all-out on the Boogeymania front. Unfortunately, they just keep on systematically destroying what was once a perfectly good character in JBL.
Winner – The Boogeyman

Jed Shaffer: Wasn’t this Chapter 1’s title in The Rise And Fall Of Western Civilization? No, I’m sorry. Wrong book. I’m thinking of WrestleCrap: The Book.
Winner – Papa Shit-go

Jeremy Lambert: Who booked this crap? The Boogeyman is nothing but a laughable character and maybe (although I doubt it) JBL will rid us of the Boogeyman for good.
Winner – JBL

Bambi Weavil: The Boogeyman because I just don’t see WWE wanting to have someone they are pushing lose so early on. JBL goes for his monkey maker clothesline and Boogeyman ducks and hits him with the Supernatural Driver.
Winner – Boogeyman

Michael Fitzgerald: Oh wow it’s the match everyone wants to see! JBL the cigar chompin, limousine ridin, cowboy hat wearin millionaire Vs The clock breakin, mole eatin, weird lookin Boogeyman. I don’t think I can withhold my excitement at the possibility of this match. On a more serious note I’d rather watch Zeus Vs Akebono in a mud pit match as at least that would be perversely entertaining. NEXT
Winner – JBL I guess

Big Andy Mac: This match will be weird, and by weird I mean unwatchable. Boogey Man needs the win, I guess
Winner – Boogeyman

Mark Neeley: Like Eric once said, this one is going to be a real wrestling clinic, ain’t it? I really can’t see them ending Boogey’s undefeated streak here, especially not to JBL of all people, and make him look that less spooky, invincible, whatever they’re going for with him.
Winner – Boogeyman

Troy Hepple: The build up to this has been interesting, albeit repetitive. JBL has been hillarious during this angle, working extremely well with Jillian Hall. However the sad fact of the matter is that the only thing this match has going for it is what happens before the match. This match will suck, and will probably go for about ten or so minutes. Boogeyman’s ‘thing’ is keeping people freaked out about him, while JBL’s is winning and being scared. Beating the Boogeyman means that JBL has no reason to be scared of anything, until Boogeyman gives him another reason to or something. So, unless this storyline continues, the Boogeyman wins at the Rumble.
Winner – The Boogeyman

Dwayne: I can’t visualize the Boogeyman going over
former WWE Champion, JBL. After weeks of the Boogeyman
chasing JBL, Boogeyman will finally face off with the
wealthiest Superstar on the Smackdown! Don’t expect to
see a whole lot of wrestling in this match, but WWE
will probably try to make it “entertaining” with the
worms, JBL running scared, Boogey’s dance, etc. Expect
Jillian Hall to find a way to get involved in this
match to try and help JBL win. I don’t see Boogey
getting a clean pin over JBL and I don’t see JBL
ending Boogeyman’s short undefeated streak.
Winner – JBL

Mickie James vs. Ashley – Special Guest Ref: Trish Stratus

PK: Mickie will win, because a) she is a real wrestle and b) this starts her heel turn which will have her facing Trish at WM.
Winner – Mickie

Widro: Mickie should win in a storyline advancing match towards the Trish/Mickie rematch at ‘Mania
Winner – Mickie

Eric Szulczewski: What the hell is this abysmal Angle Advancement Match doing on a major PPV? The rules of drama force this to be a climactic moment in the Trish/LaJames demi-feud. That dictates a cheap win for Massaro or a LaJames DQ. I’ll go with the latter, since it’ll provide more heat.
Winner – Ashley Massaro by DQ

Iain Burnside: Wow, it’s the reenactment of the main event of SummerSlam ’97 for people who can’t tie their own shoelaces.
Winner – Ashley

Jed Shaffer: They’re obviously building up to a WrestleMania match for Alexis Laree and Trish Stratus. Problem is, they’ve spent their coin with this storyline already. They had their shot at turning Laree heel, giving her the belt, and building up to Trish winning it back at WM. Now, we have this lame match-up with little heat, which will probably finally have Laree’s heel turn. These fine ladies deserve better then this.
Winner – Anonymous Diva Slut #236,202,189

Jeremy Lambert: Yeah, whatever
Winner – Mickie Stratus

Bambi Weavil: I expect this to be short and with a great deal of fury. Mickie’s going to be trying to rip Ashley’s head off as Trish tries to get Mickie off of her, type thing. Long as it builds the storyline with Trish and Mickie, than it serves it’s purpose. I don’t expect Ashley to truly wrestle in the match and as long as no one gets accidentally hurt, it should be okay.
Winner – Mickie

Michael Fitzgerald: The sad thing about this match is that it isn’t Christy Vs Mickie as I’m sure that would have been far more entertaining. I haven’t watched Raw in a while so I’ll assume some money making angle on par with Andre turning on Hogan or Shawn Michaels super kicking Marty Janetty through a barber shop window set this up and that’s why it’s wasting time on a pay per view
Winner – Mickie

Big Andy Mac: I appreciate Ashley’s effort, but I would rather it be a re-match between Trish and Mickie. Still this is one of the more intriguing storylines right now.
Winner – Trish DQs Mickie

Mark Neeley: I don’t see this one going anywhere, so you people who have your hopes up and actually but that the women’s division is “good now” can all calm down. They’re going to make Ashley look like she can wrestle like she has been doing on RAW, almost picks up a win but Mickey goes crazy like she has before and draws a DQ, something stupid like that. However, due to Boogey-JBL that would make two disqualifications. Eh, this is WWE, it can happen.
Winner – Ashley via DQ (and don’t forget the Miami arena’s hot dog venders)

Troy Hepple: I had a thought yesterday. What if they begin playing Mickie James as she thinks she’s Trish Stratus, as opposed to a fan? She begins tautning for Bubba on Tables, taking on Victoria in Hardcore Matches, and barking for Mr McMahon? Send her truly off the scale where she feels the need to replace Trish Stratus? This would be where to start. By having her be beaten by Ashley, thinking that the Trish she idolised is no longer. Besides, Ashley needs a big victory, and Mickie James doesn’t need to win to be put over. I’m looking forward to this, to see the Trish / Mickie stuff, and to see if Ashley has improved.
Winner – Ashley

Dwayne: This is one of the best storylines Raw has had
in the Women’s division, and if the Trish/Mickie feud
somehow lives up the hype, then maybe the Women’s
division will finally receive some much credibility,
because lets face it. That T&A crap isn’t getting them
anywhere. This match will allow Ashley to get some
revenge on Mickie James after constantly being
attacked. It will be interesting to see how special
referee Trish Stratus comes into play. Its also to be
going interesting to see what type of chemistry these
two have together. This match needs to be kept short,
so it doesn’t stink up the joint, because even though
Mickie is very capable, Ashley’s wrestling still
leaves alot to be desired. I mean, some of the stuff
Ashley does is cool, but she’s not going to set the
World on fire with her shit. Trish could turn on
Ashley, she could turn on Mickie, or she could call it
down the middle. With Trish being the referee it will
probably make Mickie want to try and impress her. Kind
of like when a kid is swimming and they say, “Hey,
watch this!” or “Look what I can do!” Worrying what
Trish thinks could and most likely will cost Mickie
the match. After Trish costs Mickie the match,
Mickie’s heel turn will finally be launched, and
she’ll attack both Ashley and Trish afterwards.
Winner: Ashley via DQ.

Kid Kash Defends in a Cruiserweight Title Open Invitational

PK: Kid Kash has a broken arm, which leads me to believe he will lose the strap. I say it comes down to Jamie Noble or Gregory Helms (hey, it’s an Invitational, right?).
Winner – Jamie Noble

Widro: Ah, the token Cruiserweight Match. Should be some kind of showcase for Kash’s heel champion.
Winner – Kash

Eric Szulczewski: Gosharoonie, how gracious of them to give the cruisers a little time. And it will be only a little time, because f*ck knows that we can’t get enough of a Mark Henry match. So this one’s going to last no more than, oh, eight minutes at most. I think it’s too soon to judge Kid Kash’s reign, so I don’t expect a title switch. In other words, spot-fest with no real content. Save your energies for the next X Division match.
Winner – Kid Kash

Jed Shaffer: The obvious need not be stated about Kash. The question is, who gets the useless transition belt? I wouldn’t be surprised to see them pull another Angle-to-Smackdown move for this. They did say “Invitational”, did they? The field is quite open that way.
Winner – Novocaine Helms

Jeremy Lambert: Great idea, lets forget about these guys for about a month now and then throw them all in a match and expect people to care. BRILLIANT!
Winner – Kid Kash

Bambi Weavil: There’s no way to really know what will happen here. I hope he’s facing Paul London, however.
Winner – Kid Kash

Mike Fitzgerald: Great to see WWE using it’s CW division to it’s fullest *rolls eyes*
Winner – I think Sonny Siaki or CM Punk will answer the challenge and walk out with the title as Kash is supposed to be injured right now

Big Andy Mac: This match could be great like a crazy X-division thing fron TNA or it could be terrible like the last cruiserweight invitational at Wrestlemania twenty. Logical participants include London, Kendrick, Funaki, Noble Boy, and maybe the Mexicools pulling double duty.
Winner – I think that Kid Kash will retain.

Mark Neeley: If this is anything like last year’s cruiserweight invitational at No Way Out, we’re in for a bunch of quick, pointless eliminations, yadda yadda yadda. I don’t see them taking it off of Kash right now. Kendrick and London are working that tiger mask tag team gimmick. Nunzio? Not again. Funaki? Not again, although I think it will be he and Kash in the final two, ending with a feud which will play off of Kash brainbusting Funaki on SmackDown a few weeks ago.
Winner – Kid Kash

Edge (c) vs. John Cena – WWE Title

PK: Look at how the ratings (and the quality of the show) has increased since Edge has become Champ…and there you go.
Winner – Edge

Widro: I think the ratings dictate riding the Edge wave a little while longer.
Winner – Edge

Eric Szulczewski: No way they put the belt back on Cena this soon. There’s still too much image rehab to accomplish. It’ll be interesting to hear the audience’s reaction to Cena, though. That will be a huge influence on how they book WM. Edge’s win won’t be clean, of course, but it’ll set up a rematch at WM.
Winner – Edge

Iain Burnside: Is it as weird for everyone else as it is for me to imagine Edge and John Cena competing for the grandest title in wrestling? It still feels like an IC-level match to me. I’m sure they will put on a perfectly decent little match but I still can’t take Edge seriously as a world champion and I still can’t take John Cena seriously at all. It’ll be too soon to move the title back to Cena here. In fact, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they held out on the title switch until SNME or WM itself.
Winner – Edge

Jed Shaffer: Edge’s first chance to carry a big-time money match … and he gets Cena. Atlas didn’t carry so much dead weight. Giving the belt back to Cena would put them right back where they were two months ago, and given a choice between forfeiting a pet project and forfeiting money, Vince will always drop the pet project. Ask Randy Orton.
Winner – Luger 2K

Jeremy Lambert: Boy does this undercard suck or what? Cena is actually more over without the title so why ruin that? The fans will just turn on Cena if he wins this match.
Winner – Edge

Bambi Weavil: This should be a interesting battle, depending on how loved John Cena is in Florida. I think the WWE has done a great job at “protecting” Cena by having go against Edge. I believe Lita will of course try to interfere, and get hit with the FU but Edge will still pull off the victory so Edge won’t be a one month champion.
Winner – Edge

Mike Fitzgerald: Ah a match I actually care about. Not expecting a ground breaking performance or anything but I’m sure it will be fun and filled with the usual ref bumps and run ins
Winner – Cena as Edge is needed later

Big Andy Mac – This match could be good or awful, either way Cena is not getting the belt back, but the big question is, “What to do with him at Mania.”
Winner – Edge

Mark Neeley: For the love of all of God’s creatures, and for my blood pressure, PLEASE don’t put the belt back on Cena.
Winner – Edge

Troy Hepple: The ratings are on the wall. Heel champions usually head into WrestleMania, and since Kurt Angle is walking in as the good guy, then Edge will walk in as the bad guy. Don’t expect any important fueds involving John Cena for months.
Winner – Edge

Dwayne: John Cena has used his rematch clause and he and Edge
are set to face off. This match will determine if Edge
is the real deal or not. Will Edge be able to prove
many wrong and show that he deserves to be on top? We
will find out. If Cena plans on winning the match he
will need to keep one eye on the woman that seems to
get used more times that a door knob, Lita. There is
no doubt that she will want to get in a few shots at
Cena for all of the “HO” remarks and also help her man
retain the title. Why? Because Lita enjoys being on
top just as much as Edge does. Did I mention that this
match has the potential to steal the show? Well, if I
forgot to mention by accident then there you go. EDGE
WINS! CENA’S NOT GETTING THE BELT BACK UNTIL “A
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLLLLLLLLLLLLLDWIDE AUDIENCE”, “ITS
NOT OVER”! THE WORLD IS WATCHING” :TAZZ MODE ON: “OH
MY GOD”!, “THE SHOWCASE OF THE IMMORTALS”, “BY GAWD!
WHAT A MATCH”, WRESTLEMANIA XXII!

Kurt Angle (c) vs. Mark Henry – World Heavyweight Title

PK: Please….
Winner – Angle

Widro: I really despise Mark Henry
Winner – Angle

Eric Szulczewski: Well, the Observer revealed what WWE’s plans were if DAVE hadn’t been injured. I don’t think they’ll continue that path with Angle. Angle/UT is too much of a money match to be blown off at No Way Out; I think they’ll reserve that for WM if they pull the trigger on it. I’d prefer to think about the future rather than the present, because this one’s going to be a mess. No way Angle drops the title, though. It’ll end up being something wonky, like Daivari interference causing Henry to lose, thus giving Henry justification for a rematch at No Way Out, where this feud can be buried once and for all.
Winner – Kurt Angle

Iain Burnside: Sheesh, and you thought Bob Holly was bad enough… The winner is pretty f*cking obvious and at least we can console ourselves by remembering the match would have been even worse had Batista been here. The only mystery is whether or not they put Henry into the Rumble match after this. For the sake of my sanity and his heart, I hope not.
Winner – Kurt Angle

Jed Shaffer: Zzzzzzz.
Winner – Our Olympic Hero

Jeremy Lambert: Somebody tell me why Mark Henry gets a World Tite Shot? So all I have to do is injure the most over guy on the show and screw up booking plans and I too get a World Title Shot? Sign me up. Angle will carry Henry to the best match of his career, which isn’t saying much.
Winner – Kurt Angle

Bambi Weavil: Kurt Angle in the Kurt Angle Show, basically is my prediction with Melina trying to cause further problems and interference against Angle.
Winner – My Olympic Hero, Kurt Angle.

Mike Fitzgerald: Can Angle carry Henry? Is it worth paying money to find out
Winner – Angle unless they’ve gone insane

Big Andy Mac: This match could end up being entertaining, because I think if anyone can carry that Orca on land that is Mark Henry it is my Olympic Hero.
Winner – Kirk Angel

Mark Neeley: Man, after months of being wasting jobbing to Vanilla Ice on RAW and then jumps ship and wins the Heavyweight title, they treat him to a title match with Mark Henry? I’m starting to think along the lines of Kurt himself, and he IS getting treated badly. No way Angle will drop it to Mizark.
Winner – Our Olympic Hero

Troy Hepple: This is the time where they can put Mark Henry over once and for all. By having Kurt Angle barely defeat him or, need I say, needing to cheat to win? Though, there’s no chance in hell that Mark Henry will win. Duh.
Winner – Angle

Dwayne: There is no way Mark Henry is winning the
title tomorrow at the Rumble, because HE CAN’T CARRY
THE LOAD! I thought I already lived through the worst
World title match in 2004 when Lesnar kicked Holly’s
ass, but I guess I was wrong. WWE could decide to do
something dramatic and shock the LIVING HELL OUT OF US
ALL BY PUTTING THE TITLE ON MARK HENRY!

– Suddenly, Gorilla Monsoon’s ghost rises from the
dead and invades Dwayne’s living room, scaring the
crap out of Dwayne, and his wife Jovanda, in the
process.

GORILLA MONSOON: WILL YOU STOP?

Dwayne: I’m sorry. Please forgive me. What was I
thinking? It must be this alcohol I’m drinking. Its
starting to go to my head a little guys, but I’m cool.
MARK HENRY IS CO-MAIN EVENTING ONE OF THE BIGGEST WWE
PPVS OF THE YEAR, AND THEIR PUTTING HIS ASS IN THERE
WITH WWE’S THIRD BEST WRESTLER (Beniot comes in #1 and
Michaels comes in #2. Thats just the way the ball
bounces people). I think we’re all in agreement that
there’s NO WAY IN HELL MARK HENRY WILL DEFEAT KURT
ANGLE FOR THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE. Of course,
stranger things have happened, right Vince?
Vince McMahon:
“Mark Henry thinks he’s going to win the World
Heavyweight title from Kurt Angle.
Hahahahahahahahahaha. Excuse me, I don’t mean to
laugh, but Mark Henry winning the World Heavyweight
title from Kurt Angle at the Royal Rumble would be the
same as………well, if that happens HELL WILL FREEZE
OVER”!
Dwayne: This match could have various outcomes. One,
Daivari could turn on Henry and cost him the win
proving the he and Angle were in cahoots. Two, Mark
Henry could win the title with Daivari’s help. Three,
Kurt Angle cheats to win. The referee could get
knocked down and with a few chair shots to Henry’s
legs, it could weaken him enough for Angle to put on
the Ankle Lock and cause Henry to tap out. Four, Mark
Henry could be disqualified. Five, Kurt Angle could be
disqualified. I could keep going because there are
various ways to end the match. Basically, I don’t see
the title changing hands. I personally like the first
option myself. Hahahahaha.
Winner: YOUR OLYMPIC HERO AND MINE……Kurt Angle!
YES, ITS TRUE, ITS TRUE, ITS DAMN TRUE!

Royal Rumble Match – Main Event Championship Match at WrestleMania 22
RAW: Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels, Rob Van Dam, Kane, Big Show, Triple H, Carlito, Chris Masters, Shelton Benjamin, Trevor Murdoch, Viscera, Chavo Guerrero, Coach, plus 2 mystery entries)
SmackDown!: Randy Orton, Booker T, Rey Mysterio, Chris Benoit, Matt Hardy, Bobby Lashley, Simon Dean, Johnny Nitro, Joey Mercury, Super Crazy, Psicosis, Orlando Jordan, Slyvan, Road Warrior Animal, plus 1 mystery entrant)

PK: Am I the only one that sees that the winner can face either Edge or Angle at WM? Who in this match has a beef with one of them…MATT FRICKING HARDY!
Most Eliminations – Lashley
Final Four – Hardy, HBK, Vince, Carlito
Winner – Hardy

Widro: Interesting that there isn’t a clear-cut winner in the rumble. I could see Vince himself entering the rumble to screw HBK. In the end I think it will be show, HHH, Rey and some other fourth guy, with RVD doing an iron man but not winning.
Most Eliminations – Masters
Final Four – Orton, HHH, Mark Henry, Mysterio
Winner – Randy Orton

Eric Szulczewski: I stated a month ago that this field was more open than any in recent years. But I put one caveat on that: namely that if Cena dropped the title, he’d win the Rumble match. They had this planned last year: “Uh, John, we’re going to give the Rumble to Batista this year, but you win it next year, we promise.” So, the way they do this is simple: after being screwed over against Edge, Cena demands entry into the Rumble in order to get another chance at Edge. Maybe he even goes in #1 or #2. Then he proceeds to win it. That’s what I’ve been saying since before New Years’ Revolution, and I’ll stick with it.
Most Eliminations – Viscera’s due for his annual push
Final Four – Cena, Rey-Rey, Carly, Orton
Winner – John Cena

Iain Burnside: Let Michaels and Benoit enter it early to keep it all together. Let Finlay turn up to kill somebody. Let Lashley have the “Diesel Power” moment and get rid of the chaff, as well as some bigger names like Kane. Let Mark Henry and Vince McMahon stay the f*ck away from the match. Let RVD get a decent showing on his big return, hopefully forgetting about the Carlito feud altogether. Let Orton and Booker’s egos cost one another the match, setting up a three-way US title match with Benoit for No Way Out. Let Viscera f*ck no-one. Let Vince come strutting down to the ring, trip, fall, tear something else and sit there with his purple-face on, yelling at anything that moves like a complete tool. Let it be perfectly clear that I’m not at all sure who will win this thing. The optimist in me says Mysterio. The pessimist in me says Cena. The realist in me says Triple H. Bring it on…
Most Eliminations – Lashley
Final Four – Michaels, Mysterio, Triple H, Cena
Winner – Mysterio

Jed Shaffer: Who won’t win? Cena. I like you, Eric, but you’re dead wrong; the “he moves merch” argument is BS, and Cena winning it at WM is just as bad as Cena winning it at RR. Vince knows when to cut his losses on a Ronnie Garvin-level failure. Rey? No matter how heartwarming it would be for him to do so, Vince sees a midget, since he isn’t 6’4″ (and this goes for Chavito, too). They won’t give RVD the comeback win. Orton still can’t buy audience credibility. I’m almost scared enough that, with not having seen the Chapter 5 of the Matt/Edge epic as promised that they might go there … but they’re not THAT dumb. So … I’m gonna go out on a limb here and pick someone who has nothing better to do at WM, and can put on a quality match.
Most Eliminations: Lashley
Final Four: Benoit, Rey, RVD, H’s
Winner – Our Lord & Savior

Jeremy Lambert: This is the only match that can save this show. If the rumble sucks then this whole PPV will suck. Also, where has the build been for the rumble? WWE is more worried about Lita sleeping with the locker room than they are with their 2nd biggest PPV. A SD Superstar has to win this thing because HHH is getting the WWE Title Shot no matter what.
Most Elims – Kane
Final Four – HHH, Orton, HBK, Undertaker
Winner – Randy Orton

Bambi Weavil: Overall, I expect HBK to be in the final two and get screwed over by Vince McMahon in someway, giving it a controversial spin and more momentum for HBK versus Vince at Wrestlemania. My overall winner I believe will be Triple H as a result.
Winner – Triple H

Mike Fitzgerald: Looks like it will be a great Rumble this year. I can count about 7 potential winners from that list of entrants so the match will at least have intrigue to it.
Most Eliminations – HHH
Final Four – HHH, Edge, Rey Mysterio, Chris Benoit
Winner – Edge

Big Andy Mac: The thing I like most about this year’s rumble is that the winner isn’t nearly a forgone conclusion as in past years. Triple H and Orton are big contenders. Ric Flair, I feel is a dark horse candidate, as well as Chavo. Really anyone could win.
Most Eliminations – Triple H
Final Four – Rey Mysterio, Randy Orton, Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels
Winner – Rey Mysterio (last eliminating Michaels maybe due to Vincerference.)

Mark Neeley: The answer here is simple folks, Orlando Jordan. Actually, the only people who have a flying chance are narrowed down to the lot of Randy Orton, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Rey Mysterio, or Shawn Michaels. Some people may say Flair, but I have my high doubts about that. Most people are presuming Mysterio will win, but I just don’t see it. Some people are convinced. I have narrowed it down to Orton and HHH, and am giving the token spot to Orton, out of the blue. I have nothing more.
Most Eliminations – Kane
Final Four – Orton, Mysterio, Triple H, RVD
Winner – Randy Orton

Troy Hepple: I’d be surprised to see Rob Van Dam win. I’d be surprised if Big Show, Kane, or Triple H won. This one is going to Randy Orton, who needs another big push – and what bigger push is there to leave WrestleMania as one of the few Heel Champions to win WrestleMania’s main Event? Under Taker and Charlie Haas will return here.
Final Four – Undertaker, RVD, Randy Orton, HHH
Winner – Orton

Dwayne: I want RVD to win the Rumble, but since I know
thats not going to (HHH, FUCK YOU! STEPHANIE, FUCK
YOU! VINCE, FUCK YOU! KEVIN DUNN, FUCK YOU! JOHHNY
ACE, FUCK YOU TOO! AND I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO SEND A
WARM FUCK YOU OUT TO THE DIRTIEST BACKSTAGE POLITICIAN
OF THEM ALL! THAT NO GOOD BASTARD, THE UNDERTAKER)
HAPPEN, LETS MOVE ON! Who will win? That’s the million
dollar question. The most unpredictable match of the
year. Will WWE finally see the potential in someone
like Rob Van Dam and give him an opportunity to
headline WrestleMania? Maybe Ric Flair still has what
it takes to win the Rumble and main event Mania. Shawn
Michaels HAS NO CHANCE OF HELL WINNING THE ROYAL
RUMBLE since he’s involved in a feud with Vince, where
he’ll likely get screwed. MAYBE MY NIGGA THE BOOK MAN
WILL WIN THE ROYAL RUMBLE! No, he’s involved with
Chris Beniot that will probably culminate at
Wrestlemania and their probably gonna continue to
build that feud in the Rumble. The only logical people
from the list posted above who have a shot at winning
the Rumble and getting a WM title shot are: Triple H,
Shawn Michaels, RVD, Ric Flair, Chris Benoit, Rey
Mysterio, and Randy Orton. HHH is NOT GOING TO WIN THE
RUMBLE BECAUSE HE HAS A BABY ON THE WAY, AND PRETTY
SOON HE’S GOING TO WANT TIME OFF, so The Big Show and
HHH will probably find a way to eliminate themselves.
It would be nice to see R-E-Y Mysterio win the Royal
Rumble, but don’t count on it. I’M DEFINITELY ROOTING
FOR ANIMAL! NOW THERE’S A MAN WHO HAS PAID HIS DUES
OVER THE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS, AND HE’S HAD TO FIGHT
TOOTH AND NAIL TO GET A TITLE SHOT! (Laughing) I’m
going to go with Randy Orton to win the ROYAL RUMBLE
BECAUSE HE’S LOOKED GOOD OVER THE LAST COUPLE OF
WEEKS, AND BECAUSE I ALSO THINK A MATCH BETWEEN ANGLE
AND ORTON AT WRESTLEMANIA WOULD BE AWESOME! SO THERE’S
MY PICK!
Winner: Randy Orton.

Wildcard Question #1
Who will be the final two Rumble entrants from RAW?

PK: Vince McMahon and the loser of the WWE Title match (probably Cena).

Widro: Vince & Foley

Eric Szulczewski: John Cena and Vince McMahon

Iain Burnside: The most obvious entrants are John Cena and Vince McMahon. I can understand the rationale behind putting Cena in there (though this should not mean they need to put Mark Henry in for the sake of brand-balance) but hopefully Vince will just let the last slot go to a random Legend like Mick Foley or Dusty Rhodes rather than taking it himself. He can quite easily further the Shawn Michaels feud without being an active participant in the Rumble match.

Jed Shaffer: God, who’s left? Lance Cade, Rob Conway. That’s all I can think of. Or two members of the Spirit Squad. I think Divas might be more entertaining.

Jeremy Lambert: I’ll say Generic Jobber #43 and Shaq (Yes basketball playing, Kobe hating, Cop training, Shaq is the final entrant)

Mike Fitzgerald: Eugene & Edge

Big Andy Mac – I think these will be disappointments, Rob Conway or Helms, those types. There is an outside chance of the one of the spots going to Shaquille O’Neal depending on if the Heat have a road game or not.

Mark Neeley: Two members of the Spirit Squad.

Troy Hepple: Charlie Haas and Jerry “The King” Lawler, just to spite Coachman

Wildcard Question #2
Who will be the final Rumble entrant from SmackDown?

PK: That’s pretty easy…Undertaker.

Widro: Mark Henry

Eric Szulczewski: High-Quality Speaker Boy, where he gets eliminated due to a marauding, pissed-off Boogey.

Iain Burnside: Hopefully it will be Finlay. I haven’t seen him since his recent comeback and, since Bob Holly is nowhere to be seen, they need at least one grumpy ol’ bugger in there to rough up the young rapscallions.

Jed Shaffer: If it’s Shaquille O’Neal, I kill Vince. Kill him dead. But I think we all see the obvious missing person on Smackdown’s roster, and we have no good explanation for his absence, so it would be a perfect time to rear his ugly mug: The Undertaker.

Jeremy Lambert: The Undertaker and you want to know some more inside info? Matt Hardy won’t be in the Rumble and Mark Henry will take his place. You heard it here first.

Mike Fitzgerald: Undertaker

Big Andy Mac – This could be one of the Gymini, or it could be Daivari

Mark Neeley: Vito

Troy Hepple: The Undertaker. Also, the 30th Entrant!

Wildcard Question #3
Who will last longest in the Royal Rumble Match?

PK: Carlito will slime his way through that match…getting in early, and lasting to the final 4.

Widro: RVD

Eric Szulczewski: Carly as this year’s “guy who comes in early and is sneaky enough to stay around to the Final Four”, an annual RR tradition.

Iain Burnside: Almost certainly Shawn Michaels. Vince is drawing the number himself, so there’s an easy storyline reason for Michaels getting an early number. He goes on to do rather well for himself, Vince throws a flap, some zany and screwy antics unfold, Michaels is eliminated. One step closer to getting that dreaded Michaels/Vince match at WM22…

Jed Shaffer: I think we all know the preference of the HHHead Of Creative, don’t we?

Jeremy Lambert: HBK because Jesus is on his side.

Bambi Weavil: HBK will last the longest in the Rumble.

Mike Fitzgerald: Rey Mysterio so the fans will be suitably pissed when Edge eliminates him to win

Big Andy Mac – I think the person who lasts the longest could be any of a few Ric Flair, Triple H, Rey Mysterio, Chavo, or Big Show…ok maybe not Big Show. Chavo may get this reward especially if Rey gets the Rumble, Flair could get it for drama/sympathy, but I’ll go with Flair.

Mark Neeley: HBK

Troy Hepple: Entrant number one – Rob Van Dam.

I like Comics, Wrestling, Super Mario Bros & Dead Space. Oh ya, and Scott Pilgrim.