The Gospel of Wrestling: According to Matthew


Did last week really happen? It’s all such a blur now. The week went by so fast, yet was so dreary and devout of any positive notes. Did I really get fired from my job? Did Edge really lose his newly won WWE Championship? Did Mark Henry really main event a pay-per-view the caliber of the Royal Rumble?

Yes, it all happened. Fuck you January 2006.

So now we enter February, it’s a shorter month. And even with that assurance that doesn’t mean it’s going to be any better or less drama filled than what we’ve all just made it rhrough.

I didn’t see the Royal Rumble, I couldn’t afford it. I went out and bought Taboo Tuesday on DVD from Hastings though and sort of pretended it was November all over again. I liked November. I had a job in November. Anyway, because the cable bill stays paid I did see Raw last night and quite enjoyed my two hour fix of the biz.

Yes, Edge YOU ARE a transitional champion, so just live with it and count your blessings that you’re not Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy or Christian. Those guys bumped off ladders for scraps compared to you.

From top to bottom the whole show was a great way to truly begin our Road to Wrestlemania. The Rumble left us all with alot of questions that need to and should be answered in the coming weeks. Last night was just sort of getting our feet wet for what the company may have in store for us in the coming months.

With Vince stomping out to start the show, one knew that his son wouldn’t be too far behind. So by the end of the segment I was pretty sure that the powers that be inside the E had gotten wise to the fact that VINCE IS OLD and therefore shouldn’t be main eventing a Wrestlemanis against a heralded talent, like that of Shawn Michaels. Presto Change-o and we seem to be getting the early stages of a Michaels-Shane-O Mac bump-fest for Mania.

The RVD match was cool. I missed Van Dam a ton and it’s just great to have him back. The world is his oyster, he’s still ultra-over with the fans and if the WWE is ever going to REALLY pull the trigger on main eventing him now is the time to do it. Build him up so that by Summerslam he’s the guy with the Title no matter what.

You’ll never forget the name of…Thea Vidale!

Goldust is back! Whooo! He’s jobbing to Shelton, but at least he’s working. Dustin Rhodes has been a fixture on the wrestling scene since I was a kid and I for one enjoy him in whatever role he plays. Maybe one of these days he’ll get an honest push at the Big Belt, but that would take us fans being able to handle Dustin without the makeup on. Will the masses follow that?

Mickie and Trish sittin’ in a tree…

I’m gonna make this short and sweet, for lack of anything better to say. All the E has to do is put Mickie James out there and I will watch. I don’t care if she’s wrestling, excitedly yapping or practicing yoga – whatever – I just love the girl. Ashley is hot too and Trish is somehow becoming a den mother or something. I want to see all three of them in Playboy by this summer. Someone must be able to get this done.

Now let me talk for a second about Hunter vs. Chavo from last night. At first I was appaled. I loved Eddie and for whatever reason I sort of heeled on Hunter for talking about him and Rey and Chavo the way he did. But then it hit me – that’s exactly what Trip wanted me to do. I was like puddy in his hands. Chavo eventually had to lose to someone. He surely couldn’t continue piling up wins, could he? Would the McMahons actually push Chavo to something higher than the mid card? No one in the lockeroom wanted to have to be the one to give him his first Post-Eddie loss. Hunter stepped up, they worked a good match which put Chavo over pretty well and ended on the note it should have. Hunter is the most dominant lion in the den, folks. Live with it.

The Edge-Cena rematch was really cool. I liked the ending, and I guess we’re all left to wonder whether or not Lita may be re-aligning herself with Rapper Boy in the near future. And just when I was starting to really buy Edge as a heel too! C’mon WWE, stick with something for awhile! I’m starting to get really fed up with some of the WWE programming choices. So much so that I can’t even come up with good things to say anymore.

Smackdown this Friday – or for me Saturday night – should be fun. I just read the spoilers and it looks like a neat show. JBL is moving over to a feud with Lashley which I hope will be good for both talents. What really jumps out at me is the Fit Finley – Benoit match, that’s gonna be sweet. And with Rey Rey winning the Rumble it looks like the E is already teasing an Orton switcheroo on him at No Way Out.

I’m totally jacked up about Christian’s first chance at the NWA title – but I’ll have more on that later this week in a special TNA edition of The Gospel of Wrestling.