The premiere episode of Survivor: Panama–Exile Island had me on the edge of my sofa, even though it’s much easier to knit in a reclining position. When the twist of this season was first announced, I was a bit skeptical about the gimmick of deserting someone on an island Janu-style every few days. However, the addition of the hidden immunity idol definitely throws another chunk of intrigue into the pot. Although living on Exile Island would undoubtedly be boring and uncomfortable, just having the opportunity to search for the idol would be enough for me to volunteer for isolation. I have to wonder if people will start to fight over the opportunity to be on the island, rather than dread it.
As excited as I am about the wrench that Burnett has thrown into the game, I was desperately disappointed to see Tina get voted out first. Aside from the fact that she’s a really interesting person with a great Midwestern accent, she’s from my birthplace! Hayward, Wisconsin, is a teeny tiny town up north full of fudge shops, log rolling shows (yes, I’ve been to one), and the National Fishing Hall of Fame. The minute I saw that Tina was part of the cast, I was psyched, simply because of that connection. And after watching her in action for just a short time, I found her quite endearing. Her ejection from the game was so totally wrong.
But not entirely unexpected. Tina really put herself out there as a workhorse, reminding me a bit of another Wisconsinite, Sue Hawk. She was loud, direct, and went off by herself when she needed to. The fact that her tribemates found it strange when she sat on the beach alone struck me as silly, but they were probably grasping for any reason to get rid of her. In particular, it’s clear that Cirie needed to manufacture fault with Tina so that her leaf-fearing ass could stay on the island. Melinda had to be nervous, too, as she doesn’t appear to be very athletic and was just standing around for the final part of the immunity challenge.
It was intriguing to see how differently all of the tribes operated. The young men played baseball with coconuts and bamboo sticks. The older guys built a bonfire and started assembling logs for a shelter. The young women wandered around aimlessly and stared at a dead sea turtle for a while. And the older women got their camp in order under Tina’s leadership.
It’s a well-publicized fact that the four tribes will be melted into two next week and I predict that it will be the elders against the young ‘uns based on the preview. I can venture a guess as to how the merges will go down; the older group will continue to bust their butts around camp while the younger crowd lollygags on the beach, perhaps flirting a bit. But no matter how the teams are combined or what happens at camp, I think that there are some players who are in serious trouble and others that are in this for the long haul, with a few that could go either way. Here’s who caught my eye.
1. Dead Meat
Shane
Now, I’ve read that cigarettes are more addictive than cocaine, so I’m not saying that Shane is weak for whining about his cravings. But for crying out loud, why didn’t he try to quit or at least cut down before going on the show? I suppose that anyone who smokes three packs a day is hardcore enough to expect that their body can handle the reverse shock of cold turkey withdrawal, but I don’t think this man can. He’ll soon be running back to Marlboro country, million dollars be damned.
Courtney
She doesn’t seem to have the same insecurities that Angie from Palau had about being the alternachick of the bunch, which is good. However, Courtney also doesn’t appear self-aware enough to bottle up some of her ideas about the maternal symbolism of dead turtles at the expense of weirding out her new teammates.
2. Sitting Pretty
Ruth-Marie
On Survivor Live, Jenna Morasca likened her to Tina Wesson, which is an accurate assessment from what I’ve seen so far. Although her pigtails make her look like she’s about 25, Ruth-Marie is actually 48 and has an impressive resume, boasting gigs as a pageant queen, flight attendant, marathon runner, mom, and businesswoman. First, she proved that she could smash skulls with the best of them in the reward challenge, despite Tina Scheer’s prediction that she wasn’t “a smasher.” Then, she wisely let Tina take the reins as leader of the camp and anointed herself a “worker bee.” I have a feeling that this woman is very smart. People may underestimate her, which could make her a lethal force in the competition.
Dan
At 52, he’s the oldest member of the cast, but I have high hopes for this retired astronaut. First, he picked a good ally in Terry, who I predict will remain loyal to him. Second, he likened space travel to being stuck on a deserted island, with both requiring teamwork and ingenuity. And finally, Dan isn’t as buff as the other guys, so he doesn’t look as threatening. But I’m guessing that he has the endurance to go far in this game, provided he doesn’t get injured or betrayed by Terry. In any case, Dan seems like a sweet, gentle soul, even though he’s probably a lot tougher than he first appears.
3. On The Fence
Bruce
I’m totally rooting for Bruce, who is a badass by nature of his fifth-degree black belt in karate and job as a high school teacher. I loved watching him do samurai chops on the bamboo logs. This man is well-equipped to work well around camp and kick some tail at challenges. But since Bruce has such an amazing presence, I’m worried that others might not want to let him advance in the game. He deserves to and should, but I wouldn’t be shocked if some of the younger players conspired to oust him later in the game.
Bobby
With degrees from Amherst and Stanford, it’s obvious that Bobby is wicked smart and plenty talented. He’s witty, too, with his comments about leading up the beefcake crowd against the Spice Girls, Golden Girls, and Loveboat crowd. But I have to wonder if his bulging muscles and rapidly firing neurons will intimidate the others. It will be hard for Bobby to hide his strengths, and I don’t think he’ll want to.
Needless to say, I’m pumped for this season to really get underway, although it won’t be nearly as good without Tina. But this show has taught me that it’s important to work with the resources that one has on hand, so that’s what I’m going to do.
