Words of Questionable Wisdom: Comic Haikus

Every so often a comics reviewer needs to show his poetic side, while cutting his comic reviews down to the bare basics. That and too much spare time is a dangerous thing. Enjoy these fellow members of the Nexus Nation.

Infinite Crisis #4
Hey There Kids, Let’s Watch
Superboy Prime Murder! There’s no
Mature Readers tag!!

Isn’t that too many syllables? Eight in the second line? Amused Editor K.-

Next Wave
Warren Ellis Is Cool
Aaron Stack’s Robot Brain Needs Beer
Fing Fang Foom Is Here!

That’s nineteen syllables! Arithmatic Editor K.-

The most successful
New Image Comic, Still Not in
Top 100, @#$% Diamond…

That’s not 17 syllables… but it’s funny! Chuckling Editor K.-

Spider-Man: The Other
Twelve Issue Epic, Should Have
Been Eight. Preferably Without All
The Pat Lee Drawn Issues.

All-Star Batman & Robin
Are You Dense? Are You
Retarded? Or Something? I’m
The Goddamn Batman!

(That line never gets old. Although “Love Chunks” almost came close to one-upping it.)
Somebody tell me why the first haiku that’s perfect in form has to involve that horrible book! Astounded Editor K.-

Plastic Man
Three Eisner Awards
Plus Two Harvey’s, And Yet Still
No one’s buying, why?

Sentinel vol. 2
One Year & Eight Months
Has Passed Since The Prior Series
Yet Worth The Wait!

Power Pack
A Kid’s First Comic
But Back When I Was a Teen
Jules Made Me Feel Weird

Spider-Girl #100
One Hundred Issues.
Still not enough? Bloodhound only
Got 10. Stop Whining!

Supreme Power: Nighthawk
A good story, may be
In here somewhere; I can’t see
It under the puke.

X-Men/Power Pack
Marc Sumerak Writer
Gurihiru Art; These names are
Fun to say out loud!

Batgirl #72
They Killed Cassie Cain?
@#$%, @#$% , @#$%, @#$%, @#$%, @#$%, @#$%
@#$%, @#$%, @#$%, @#$%, @#$%!!!!

Send your poetic feedback to PaulSebert@gmail.com